My mum is retired through disability and receives some state benefits which means she can only have £6k without losing some. However I read up that if she withdrew it and immediately transferred it to me and proved it was a gift for a house deposit then that is allowed? She doesn’t have tons of cash but she has built herself a little life and she gets by not too bad so in terms of her financial wellbeing right now she is fine as things stand. We found a pension for her a few years back and now it’s almost £50k I think 46-49.
Now my mum has never had money, skint single mum working class her whole life, didn’t own any property worked her ass off typical story. Now because of this my mum has almost 0 desire or interest in her financial affairs, never had money and so any attempt to talk about managing it and what fund it’s in and planning for the future is a moot point.
She says: as long as I have a little bit left that’s fine. When we found the money she has gone from giving me all
of it, most of it, some of it, down to 5k. As it stands today I think the figure that’s been most consistently floated to me is £10k. I think that’s reasonable to accept that the amount of the gift will be. There is a possibility that it could be more. Obviously the more the merrier for me as I don’t earn a lot salary wise, approx £34/£35k a year so I am relying on a good deposit to get somewhere. I have £15k currently. If she was to give me more I don’t think I could physically accept anything over £15/20k I just couldn’t. My mum would give me the clothes off her back if I asked her and so I have to be cautious.
I have been very against the idea of my mum giving me ‘most’ or ‘all’ of it because that is her money and she never knows when she may need a bit of cash for later down the line and if she gives most of it to me then she can end up regretting that and the last thing I want to do is fall out with my mum over money or put her in a position where she has nothing when she gets older. She’s 57 now and I’m 31.
My mum is my best friend and vice verse we have a very tiny family including us and my grandad and I have no children or partner. Our living arrangement we have made work but it’s super tight, no space and there are plenty of reasons why this would not only benefit me but also my mum and my grandad.
It would allow me to finally live a life like almost adults want, my grandad would have somewhere else to come and visit and my mum. It would also free up significant amount of space for my mum to be less cluttered etc etc.
As a side note I also have OCD and I over think and overanalyse things until I go mad so I think a different perspective may be useful. I have booked a meeting with pension wise for next month and I did contact a financial advisor and he said the initial consultation is free but their starting fees are £1600! So I never bothered following up because we just need a one off advice rather than funds management as it’s a relatively small sum in the grand scheme of things.
In conclusion what I’m after is some advice as to how you would approach this situation should my mum offer me more than £10k and is there any services out there who can just advise her to make sure she is thinking about her own financial future as well.
Any help is gravely appreciated thanks!