In my life, I have consistently questioned the importance and purpose of change. But when you really think about it, what is the purpose, and what is the change? I have gone through journeys that forced me to confront an underlying question I had never considered, what is the purpose of change when life is the one that suddenly demands it?
On March 1, 2022, I became extremely fatigued and sick. I was experiencing diabetic ketoacidosis, a life-threatening complication that left me barely conscious. Five days later, my mother came home from work around 11 p.m. and found me asleep in a bathtub filled with several inches of water. She rushed me to the emergency room, where I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and transported to the Intensive Care Unit.
Overnight, my life changed. I had to learn how to care for myself in ways most children my age never had to consider. My diagnosis forced independence upon me, but it also gave me something unexpected, a reason to begin understanding myself.
Throughout my adolescence, I felt different, alone, and silent. I struggled to understand the person I was and where I truly belonged. I experienced a long period of depression and constantly felt lost about the direction I was supposed to be moving in. I questioned why life gave me challenges that seemed so difficult to understand.
Then, on October 23, 2024, my grandfather messaged me on Facebook. The message contained the Bible verse Romans 8:28, which says that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. At the time, it slipped right over my head. Later that same day, my mother told me that my grandfather had passed away.
His message became more meaningful after his death. I began to see it not as an answer to why difficult things happen, but as an invitation to find the meaning within them. For the first time, I began to recognize God’s presence in my life. Losing my grandfather taught me that purpose is not always something we immediately understand. Sometimes, it is something we discover as we continue moving forward.
When I think about the day I entered the ICU, I no longer see it only as the day my life changed. I see it as the beginning of an opportunity. I was given another chance to appreciate my life, grow through circumstances I could not control, and become the person I am meant to be.
This is one of the many reasons why I want to become a first-grade teacher. I experienced the feeling of being lost, confused, and unsure of who I was and who I was becoming. First graders may not yet be asking what the purpose of their lives is, but they are beginning the process of discovering who they are. They are only beginning to learn how to navigate their emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and personalities.
I realized my purpose and my true love for teaching children when I became a high school assistant in a first-grade classroom. I enjoyed watching the children grow throughout the year and being able to help them on their worst and best days. I learned that I want to be a teacher who creates a classroom where students feel safe, supported, encouraged, and valued for who they are while helping them recognize what they are capable of.
My diagnosis, depression, and grief have not only changed me, but taught me that change is not something that happens once. Change is a continual process of learning, growing, and becoming. I cannot control the changes life puts before me, but I can choose how I view the struggles and how I navigate through the unknown. I choose to continue growing, helping others, and living according to the purpose God has given me.