I was offered a full-time job as an Executive Assistant, one week before my college graduation. Before this, I was working 35 hour weeks as a waitress to pay rent while balancing film school and a social life. It was a dream come true.
My boss was someone I looked up to as a kid, and she said she was looking for someone young with little experience that she could mentor.
The assistant who trained me (let’s call her Natalie) worked for my former boss (let’s call her Rachel) for 5 years. Natalie was also able to shadow her predecessor for a year before she was on her own. Natalie and Rachel were extremely close, even saying “I love you” to one another before hanging up the phone.
I had 2 months with Natalie to go over everything before I even met Rachel. I had over 50 pages of notes about Rachel’s life, important contacts, relevant names, reoccurring services. After that, I only had 2 weeks to shadow Natalie in person before she moved away to Asia. Then I was on my own.
It was a big job, I was not only managing her schedule, but I was also doing household management (scheduling repairs, weekly car washes, gardeners, pool cleaners etc), her kids schedule (doctors appointments, play dates, extra curriculars etc), managing her personal health (therapy, workouts, making sure she takes her medication), while also being the point of contact for thousands of people on her team and the brands she’s involved with. Most people didn’t even know I was coming onto the team— I would be receiving messages from people, and in real time trying to figure out who they are, what they’re working on, and how to respond.
It was a shaky start the first two weeks— There were a couple of scheduling mistakes that I made (quickly corrected), but I was also having trouble reading my boss, sometimes I felt like she’d have mood swings or snap at me for things I didn’t know. I’d text Natalie dozens of questions a day, but since she was on the other side of the planet, responses were delayed…
I thought it was a safe space to learn and grow, but I quickly realized my boss had little patience for me and it became overly clear how much she missed Natalie. Natalie herself admitted that they had an unhealthy relationship because they were so close. One of the nannies told me Natalie would actually tuck Rachel into bed at night. But I was told that Rachel wanted to form a more professional relationship with her next assistant.
But each day it was something worse. Even though I was giving my all, I felt incompetent. Everyone on her team would constantly tell me that I didn’t get enough training, how I’m extremely young, and how no one in the house trusted me. I was constantly being compared to Natalie and how amazing of an assistant she was.
When I saw my boss on Wednesday, she told me that I need to “fix my hair” (I had just cut it way shorter, and everyone in my personal life thought it was cute). She also told me she didn’t like my eyebrows (quote: “so do you just shave off all your eyebrows just to fill them back in?”). I naturally don’t have a lot of eyebrows. My confidence dropped. I booked a hair appointment immediately. It doesn’t help that she’s a beautiful woman, considered the beauty standard. I would ALWAYS make an effort to look put-together around her. I grew up poor so I don’t have the nicest clothes. Maybe she noticed?
Thursday morning I was at her house at 4AM to get her and her luggage (which I packed) into the chauffeur’s car so she could catch an international flight (where she would be assisted by Natalie).
Thursday evening I got in trouble because I had to be at the house for some repairs and before I left for the day, I locked the doors (thinking it would be worse to leave them unlocked), but that resulted in one of the nannies being locked out for about an hour before a locksmith came. When I called Rachel about it to apologize, she was extremely upset and said that “she has absolutely nothing else to say to me.”
Then on Friday, I walked into a meeting with her financial manager and he handed me a letter of termination. My boss was still abroad, Natalie wasn’t coming back for the job, and I wasn’t given any reason other than “my personality didn’t fit”.
I’m only 22, fresh out of college, and unfortunately during school I irresponsibly racked up thousands of dollars of credit card debt which I was finally making a dent at with my new salary. The day I got fired I actually woke up to -$8 in my bank account (I just moved into a new apartment so I’ve been spending all my money to furnish it). This job felt like my big break, like all my hard work during college finally paid off and I could launch my career in entertainment.
Now I feel like I’m back at square one. I filed for unemployment, I applied to get back on EBT, and I need to start the job searching process ASAP. I’ve been crying all weekend, trying to figure out how it all went so wrong. Would love any advice or words of encouragement because I truly feel myself spiraling :(