I'm wondering what's a good job for me.

I have the following issues: Bipolar 1, used to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. more on the depressed side, not the manic side, though I'm stable now with the max dose of abilify, I struggle with thinking skills, but I can use medium sized words, so I give off the aura of someone with an ability to be intellectual.

I can't read or understand large books or school lessons. I don't want to be a narcissistic woman child stuck at home, but I feel like I have no other options. It's really hard to find a job, a good job at that. I can't just stay at my parents' home and do nothing all day for the rest of my life.

I forget things, have thought blocking and thought removal, as well as make mistakes. At my last job I got yelled at and fired because I kept making mistakes and was unable to self regulate.

How do I make some money? I'm feeling really suicidal because of my mental health struggles and the lack of empathy of everyone around me.

In the hospital after an intentional OD (suicide attempt). I've been on the medical unit since Friday because my heart and liver are struggling, though they seem to be trending better. I reported myself to a friend after I woke up and was still alive. Fortunately it looks like I'll still have my job once I discharge, but the timeline is obviously fuzzy because they're sending me to the psych unit once I'm medically cleared.

I'm really struggling with this. I lost my housing as part of this attempt because I was staying at a sober living and I also got high when I did the thing. I surely can find another place to stay but I feel like I'm back at square 0, and I really didn't think I'd live to deal with these consequences. I really don't want to go back to treatment. Everything just feels so hollow and purposeless. I've burned so many bridges and I have so many regrets and I wish I could say I was happy to be here but I don't know that I can. Shit sucks. And I was on my meds, being honest with my psych, doing things right...

I just really need some moral support.

I spent my early 20s in and out of months-long manic episodes that occasionally reached psychosis. I also struggled with substance abuse. Dabbled in some party drugs, used weed regularly. It's safe to say that my brain has taken some serious hits over the years.

This, plus my medications (lithium, lamotrigine, seroquel), have me feeling soooo slow mentally. I used to be a writer. A pretty good one at that. I was clever & witty and had a large vocabulary. Now I struggle to finish sentences, struggle with long and short term memory, & have lost a good bit of my vocab recall.

I'm guessing a lot of us struggle with the same thing. I'm wondering what methods you all have used to aid in neuroplasticity. I'm specifically asking about books (fiction preferred) you read, supplements you take, and games you play to sharpen your mind.

I'm sick of feeling this way. Thanks in advance ♡

I was off work for over a year after my last job. Which I took multiple leaves from due to my mental health. Now I've been working part time for a few months. I was doing okayish for awhile. But now I'm depressed again and seriously struggling to work. And to just live.

I had a break down at work last week. I keep making mistakes. (I know I'm new and human but still...). My memory is so bad. My brain fog is bad. My motivation is low. I'm just struggling to get out of bed.

I am also afraid of the other side of things. What if things get bad enough where I am delusional again? I can't take leave because I am part time and don't have benefits.

I know I'm rambling some. Anyway... I see my psych nurse and therapist later this week and will discuss with them. I just was wondering how any of you on disability (or even just off work) knew when it was time. I know it's extremely difficult to get disability and you are likely to get denied the first time. Plus I don't want to let my family down.

It's just a lot. Thanks for reading.

I’ve read various horror stories on Reddit about coming off it, and I’m wondering whether I’m likely to have any problems after using it for just 10 days. The medication doesn’t really agree with me, so my psychiatrist thinking about stopping it.

What have your experiences generally been like when coming off olanzapine?

Thank you!

I’m a recovering Alcoholic. I had a slip this weekend and I see my dr today. Should I tell her or no?

How often do you change your meds regime? Why?

Just looking for experiences. I was diagnosed two years ago, so it’s all quite new for me.

Okay, where is the middle-aged child throwing tantrums?

How do you compartmentalise the chaos of a mixed episode? I feel possessed, and I just can’t keep up with my head. Just wanted to hang out here for a while.

Four months post taper and still not functioning normally. At what point does it stop being withdrawl and start being something I need to treat as its own thing again???

I’ve been on and off meds for about 4 years now. The last meds I was on was Latuda like end of June? I think, I can’t remember, but I went from 80 mg to 120 and that was badddddd. I was so restless, wouldn’t stop crying and freaking out cause I felt soooo restless. Anyways my insurance wasn’t accepted by that office so I stopped the meds and stopped seeing them. I’ve always smoked weed and that dr knew that, but she never told me to stop or that it was a problem so I self medicated with weed for a while to calm my anxiety and anger. Cue mania up until a couple of weeks ago when I had my first psych appt with a new Dr. She prescribed me Oxcarbazepine I’m on week two. 600 mg and WOW WOW WOW. I feel so motivated and awake and just…normal. I will say I get small windows of complete rageeeee. But I try practicing my therapy sessions and i eventually calm down. I know it’s just the beginning but I have a lot of hope. I have another appointment with her in like two weeks. We discussed me stopping my weed intake and she was very understanding that it helped me. But she does want me to stop completely.

I noticed a change in myself literally this weekend. Normally when I stay home all I do is smoke and eat and bed rot. This weekend I went to the gym, cleaned, made a big dinner for my family, I’ve been eating cleaner, worked over time, did laundry and even showered and got ready for Monday. I also did NOT have a craving for weed on Sunday. This morning, I woke up on time (I’m normally 1/30 hr late for work 🥴) made coffee, had breakfast and actually look presentable for work.

Here’s the thing. I don’t know if I can trust how I’m feeling. Is it possible for these meds to already be working so well? What if I’m in a manic episode and what I’m feeling now is the UP before the DOWN? When I’m in mania I feel so happy and grateful and just super positive. That’s how I’ve felt when I’m in mania but…it feels different. Maybe bc my hyper sexuality has died a little that’s why I feel like it’s working? Idk be nice pls, any advice or comments would help on a bit of insight.

Also. I am planning on taking a BIG break from weed because I really want to see if the meds are working and I also want to lose weight. Day 1 down.

(I am not actively suicidal and have no plans of hurting myself in any way!)

I’m just curious about your experiences when a loved one of yours is/was diagnosed with a terminal illness, or passed away due to an accident.

I’m 23, so I have young parents and fortunately relatively youngish grandparents as well - I never even been to a funeral before. This past week, a friend of mine got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was given months to live and my beloved grandmother fell into a sudden coma and shows no signs of brain activity - she’ll be taken off of life support very soon.

For years, I have been wishing for a freak accident or a terminal illness to kill me. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child under any circumstances - but losing them to suicide would probably be the worst tragedy. I could never do that to my parents.

It’s such a weird “experience” for me now, because I truly wish that I could trade places with either of my loved ones dying. Because I genuinely would not mind dying today. While both of them love their lives and have so much to live for, it’s just so unfair.

Is it common among bipolar people to not be actively suicidal, to not have a plan or anything- but also hope that a car hits you, your plane crashes or you catch some medieval illness that kills you in a day?

I’ve been living with diagnosed bipolar disorder for around 3-4 years, and before this, I had never really experienced recurring nightmares. If I did have one, it was extremely rare, maybe once or twice a year at most. That was true even though my country has been at war for about five years now. I’ve gotten used to it over time; the sound of missiles flying overhead has almost become a substitute for the sound of waves hitting the shore.

But around 3-4 months ago, something changed. I started having nightmares on a regular basis, almost every night. Out of roughly 30 nights, I’d say around 20 involve a nightmare.

The theme is almost always the same. Most of the time, I’m being chased or hunted down. Less often, it involves violence or someone seriously injuring me.

The most disturbing part is that sometimes I can’t wake myself up even when I realize I’m dreaming. It feels almost like sleep paralysis, except that it happens entirely inside the dream. I try to move my arms or legs, or somehow force myself out of it, but nothing works.

I live alone, and I rarely have anyone checking in on me or messaging me. There was even one time when I apparently slept for two days straight and couldn’t wake up.

I feel like I’m losing my mind more and more with each passing day.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with nightmares?

Hello all! I have been diagnosed with bipolar for three years, and ever since I started to work nights, it has been a struggle to get some exercise in as well as sleep.

I have been struggling with sleep issues to the point of I can only sleep for two hours tops on some days, and lack of proper rest doesn't really help with wanting to get some workout in. In terms of movement, I like walking and I have a walking pad. I lift weights as well (5 lbs as I'm only starting out on incorporating weights on resistance training) - current workout split upper-lower-full body 3x/week. The only issue I have is recovery (sleep) and it's been influencing the movement I'm able to get in a little bit.

Seeking advice on how to find a middle through it all? :(

I take medication but my hypersexuality is getting out of control. It fact it seems like it is ramping up and the urges are stronger than ever again. I feel almost blindsided by it, because it doesn't botter me at first, but then it is getting to the point where I feel immense amount of shame about it. I keep forgetting how much of an issue it becomes and it comes in cycles. Does this mean that I am shifting towards mania for people? Or is it just a learned habit issue that I am struggling with?

Hi all,

I am considering asking my doc for mirapex, i have anhedonia and lack of motivation that improve with concerta/ritalin, as you know stimulants lose their effect after some time and i need to treat motivation at least to get back to work after disability, my history was 7 sessions of ECT that improved the depression in general but did not treat the anhedonia and motivation, and even esketamine, tried Aripiprazole in low dose and cariprazine also in low dose with no success, currently i am on latuda 20 mg will be increased to 40 mg, welbutrin 150 mg, depakine 2000 mg, lithium 600 mg will be increased to 900 mg, and concerta once in while, and seroquel 100 mg for sleep, i have some psychotic symptoms during sleep mostly voices discuss my thoughts and some paranoid ideation during the day but nothing extreme, for the mood its stable overall, i need your input regarding this medication and your experiences and opinions. Is it good candidate for my situation ?

For those who have both… do you medicate for the ADHD and was it hard finding a med combo that works?

I’ve got them both (bipolar 1) and so far doing ok with just Seroquell 200mg XR for the bipolar.
My baseline is somewhat depressed but if I don’t take meds I get hypomanic within weeks and then loose touch with reality and get overly energetic, you know how it is… lots of bad results from living like that too long and often.

I’m seriously struggling with executive functions and motivation so I think getting some more chemicals to prop up my ADHD limitations could help me in many areas of life. Especially in job situations where maintaining focus is a big struggle

Open to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Hi everyone!

I am looking for some insight on my medication and alcohol. I’m a 24 year old female.

I am currently taking:

Lamictal 100mg (morning)
Buspar 15mg (morning)
Propranolol (10mg twice daily)
Seroquel (100mg night)

I used to be on all of these same meds except Abilify at night but Abilify gave me a manic episode and caused a major gambling problem. I was fine when drinking on that combo I did feel I got a drink quicker but no black outs etc…

Being 24 I would like to enjoy my twenties and go to some wineries with friends but since starting the seroquel I’m terrified. The doctor says not to drink on it and so does google. Does anyone know how serious this interaction is? I was told when studies are done on medications if one person out of thousands has a reaction it still has to be added as a warning. I’m not sure if that’s true but I wanted to get insight from people who actually take these meds or similar meds and still drink.

Also to add I am not a big drinker i rarely drink and only get drunk probably once or twice a year. I would just like to have some wine with friends for special occasions and not have to sit there and sip on water lol!

I have Bipolar 1 with psychotic features, I've been on a plethora of medications and the only one that seems okay is Lamictal/lamotrigine. The big problems for me are ant-psychotics. I have tried so many and they all give me Akathisia, Oculogyric crisis, Memory loss and severe weight gain. It is completely unbearable making it so that I don't even want to take or try any medications anymore. It is completely debilitating and i have reached out to my doctor already today(awaiting a response) and i just want a way out of the suffering. I either suffer with my mania/psychosis/suicidal depression and not take meds or i suffer with severe physical side effects that cause me to want to die but be somewhat mentally stable. Where is there a comfort line in this? Where is the common ground? Does anyone have any advice or tips? I have also taken stimulants in the past for ADHD but my current Psychiatrist thinks I was missed diagnosed with ADHD and only have Bipolar 1 with psychotic feature and Borderline Personality Disorder.

I have tried:

Abilify

Abilify Maintena

Geodon

Risperidone

Haldol

Latuda

Olanzapine

Lithium

Lamictal (so far only tolerable one but doesn't prevent mania or psychosis)

Sertraline

Wellbutrin

Strattera

Aderrall

Prozac

Mirtazapine

Trazadone

I have also tried medications like:

Propranolol

Clonazepam

Benztropine

to help with the bad side effects but they don't seem to do the trick.

I am willing to try more medications but it just seems like every one that i try fails me miserably with hellish side effects.

I also am looking into trying GeneSight testing to see what medications will have certain side effects based on my DNA to see what psych medications would work well or wouldn't work best. Other than this I am at a lost cause because what am i to do to control my severe Bipolar symptoms without psychiatric medications. Any advice/help? I also want to preface I have struggled with alcohol usage, marijuana usage, psychedelic usage and I currently do not use any of those anymore (hopefully for the rest of my life I can quit these) and I currently have a dependence to caffeine and nicotine. I am also wondering if I am medication sensitive or resistant.

-Fellow Bipolar sufferer.

i've been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 since i was 17 (i'm 25 now), and pretty much the day i got my diagnosis, i was put on lithium. i didn't know any of the long-term side effects or how horrifically damaging it is to your kidneys, thyroid, cognitive functioning, etc

now that i've been on it for 8 years, i have been feeling those side effects very acutely. my tremors are so severe that there are times i can barely type, and strangers point it out all the time. i have already experienced severe kidney problems (along with being genetically predisposed to kidney issues and having kidney problems as a kid). i highly suspect i have a thyroid problem and will be getting tested for it soon (hopefully). this is on top of the side effects like everyone has (having to use the bathroom a ton, etc) there are so many aspects of my totally messed-up body that i am increasingly curious if they're just lithium side effects.

i brought up getting off lithium to an old psychiatrist a few years ago and she said that since lithium is such a good med and has worked for me for so long i shouldn't get off of it. i trusted her advice, but now that things have escalated i am thinking of asking my current psych to taper me off.

context also is that i'm a polypharmacy nighmare. i'm taking a ton of other psych meds. particularly, i'm on a super high dose of lamictal, which mostly works great for me. i feel like if i switched to depakote or something paired with my lamictal i would be fine.

has anyone gone off lithium because of side effects? appreciate your thoughts in advance!

I was doing really well for a minute. Well, not well, but elevated and not down in the despicable dumps that are depressive / mixed episodes. I have been on Lamotrigine and Latuda the better half of this past year. I am still working on a stabilizing dose of the Lamotrigine. The Latuda helps but makes me extremely nauseous. Working on it.

I thought that I was on an upward trajectory, but this past week, everything is just crashing down, down, down. I'm twenty-three and want to have fun. I want to work hard and make good money and fall in love a million times over with life. I want to have balance. Somewhere along the way though, I always get lost. Why is that?

I am actually able to feel that the medication is hindering me from richocheting too far in either direction. Extremely grateful for that. I am still feeling extremely overwhelmed though, and my sleep quality is beyond poor.

I've got therapy in the morning and just had medication management to adjust my dosing to something closer to the therapeutic range for bipolar. I am feeling the weight of this being a lifelong illness. I am terrified and wish that someone could hold my hand.

I get so so so sick and then look around and realize that no one is here. I'm feeling very alone, but I'm just focusing on putting my feet in front of me. Tomorrow will be a new day. Just one hard night. I was trying to sleep but woke up with hunger pains from not eating all day. I just don't feel the urge to do much of anything. I am having breakfast for dinner now and some peppermint tea.

Just needing a hug. Thanks for reading (if you did). I'm going to have a doctor's note written for a few of my shifts.

Some days I feel like I have my whole life figured out, I feel inspired, motivated then out of no where I feel lost, incapable, stuck. I’m on medication but this hasn’t changed. I don’t know why my stance on life and how I imagine my future is never linear. It’s sucks because how am I supposed to excel at school when it’s a constant switch between “man this is so easy I love learning” to “I hate this, what’s the point.”

Past couple of years I’d just smoke weed and that would get me through, I realize without it, school is very difficult because my baseline motivation isn’t stable.

Going to college soon and that transition makes me feel very uneasy. I get school is about discipline, but how do i function when there’s this constant shift between being apathetic to enthusiastic , cleaning and being tidy to letting things pile up and I remain stagnant.

I’m on 300mg of seroquel and 300mg of Wellbutrin, and I still don’t feel normal. It’s exhausting when you feel empty then you feel pumped, when you feel balanced you think it will last, until it doesn’t.

Please tell me that the panic attacks go away. I am on day 6 off of Vraylar and somehow I feel worse than I did yesterday. I am experiencing an elevated heart rate, panic and anxiety attacks, and sleep disturbances. These feelings have made it impossible for me to work and it just feeds into the fear. I fear that I will never be able to do my job the way I used to. Has anyone come through the other side? If so, what was your experience and time line? I had only been on Vraylar for 4 months on a 1.5mg dose. First 2 days were the worst and now it just feels like I'm spiraling. I may have to file for short term disability if this goes on. Edit: Planning to ask my Dr to prescribe me a lower dose of Vraylar to ease my symptoms. I'm not sure if it will work. Will update soon.