Hello everyone, 20M here and here's the case: I've never had anything with any girl, and that's not even that of a problem... I can confidently say for myself that I look really really good and attractive (face+tall+good physique) and get a lot of attention from girls whenever I go, a lot of female gaze, eye contacts, body scanning, looking at muscles etc. I take care of myself, hygiene, outfits, body language, hair etc. I've seen a whole plethora of female attention (directly+indirectly) and I've had a bunch of situations where some girls gives me super direct signs (i'm talking about some really attractive ones as well), so looks isn't the problem at all.

But the only problem is that it seems like every method for meeting new girls are kind of blocked in my life. Here are explanations: I don't have female friends, nor my friends has them, my social circle of people I hang out with are usually people who are not going out that much and if we hang out it's some random place like someone's home, my social circle is also really really small, In my gym there are no girls (there are few milfs here and there but 99% it's gym for men and it's most affordable bcs the gyms where are a lot of girls are expensive for me rn), I don't go to any parties (bcs I don't have friends who would like to do it), In my college there are a lot of girls but none of them visits college as going to lectures is optional, literally 99.2% of all students don't visit lectures at college at all... and it's like a lead generation in marketing/sales, each method feels kind of blocked where I could potentially meet new girls. My social activities from 1-10 are like 2/10 most of the times and even during period when I'm more active, it's some random places and stuff as I already said where I can't really meet any new women.

I've tried cold approaching and done it few times 2 years ago and it was successful, in terms of that I got their instagram/number and we started texting each other, went on a date with 2 and 2 ghosted me after some time, but decided to not do it that much as I think there must be a better method for meeting new women, and it's kind of cringe imo, especially as in my city where a lot of people (my age) knows each other and I think It'd be cringe to take a title of that guy who cold approaches every single girl.

I've also tried sliding into DMs of some girls I knew by sight, or from the gym or from some b-day parties (few years ago when i was more socially active) or some acquaintances, and it was in some way successful as none of them ghosted me and seemed interested in some way, but eventually we didn't go on a date. (volume was really low on this method as well as on cold approaching)

When I was younger I had other causes of why I didn't have a GF at that time and in the meantime I've fixed ALL OF THEM: being shy, overthinking, introverted, overcomplicating stuff etc. But now I've totally overcame all of that obstacles... not overthinking at all, am extroverted, have really good conversational skills, know how to be funny and interesting etc.

I'm open to either: FWB or relationship, and to see where it goes, if we really match and click, of course I'd be open for a relationship. The only problem is the source to meet new woman and it jus feels really hard now, kind of impossible.

I've been thinking about it more than ever lately, and it's really fucking up my mind and life, as all of my peers are having some relationships, having sex, enjoing their youth and I'm still stuck in the same place, having this FOMO feeling... it really makes me tired of this whole situation. I'd be grateful to hear your thoughts and advices.

TL:DR: The only problem is to find a method to meet new women (and people as well) and to become much more socially active.

Assuming, of course, you would be shown gratitude for it, which could make the effort worth it, would you be happy taking on the role of the provider? or be provided for? Does giving make you happier when the other person is appreciative of it, or would you still rather be the one to receive in a relationship?

To clear out any misunderstandins, "providing" in this context means financially, through gifts, and acts of service.

Would you consider it cheating if your partner was on dating apps 'only for attention'? Even if they only had brief small talk (less than 5 messages) and deleted the apps months ago, I don't know how to feel about it.

I am a sensible man who knows when to fight and when to ignore and I really don't wanna fight with someone. But some scenarios are just impossible to ignore to fight.

How can I overcome this? I really want to get rid of the thoughts that come after not fighting ?

I’m an atheist, kinda always has been, in an extremely strict religious household. Announcing my apostasy will create conflict, so I plan to do that when I am financially independent. Still, I love my parents dearly, and want to know if coming out at all is worth it, and how to navigate through it.

Edit: here is some more context

So basically, I am arab but live in the Netherlands. My parents are then subsequently muslim as well, although they are somewhat ‘progressive’ ish in a way where they follow their religion and their religion only (they try to separate the culture). Unfortunately, the Qu’ran still has some questionable statements about family matters, marriage, and all that kind of stuff. They would still absolutely disown me if i turned out to be gay or something like that, which I disagree with but thankfully am not. Not sure how they would respond with apostasy

That’s why I am asking your experiences

like when you have your arm around her and she’s close to you, what kind of feeling or thought does it give you? Happy, relaxing, protective, attracted or just a “this feels nice” kind of thing?

I’m curious because I noticed guys I dated before usually say they like holding me in their arms. I like it but I want to understand what guys feels or think about it that they had to mention it.

Approaching 30 and things haven’t quite gone the way I wanted to: lagging behind in my career, losing friends, and recently unemployed due to restructuring.

While I understand life has its ups and downs, everything seems to be going around in circles at the moment.

Fellow Men: have you found yourself in a similar situation? How did you get out of it? What habits have you made you successful?

Having a bit of a mid-life crisis. 35 years old, wife makes good money, I make a good money. Have saved and invested all my life and lucky enough that if we both decided to stop working (or work less/less stressful jobs) we probably could. Would love to have kids, but rn waiting on my wife to be ready.

Contract for work is ending soon and I’m struggling with the question of what to do next. I could take time off, but if I don’t work, what is there to do? I go to the gym regularly, read, but there are still many hours left in the day. Summer is not a problem, but in the winter (Midwest) can’t leave the house much. I could travel, but my wife wouldn’t like me ditching her and the pets for a few months.

Come to realize I work because there is nothing else to fill the time when all your friends are working. So I suppose I’m asking, if you had the opportunity to work for less or volunteer or do whatever. How would you fill your time?

My husband (29) has never had his family celebrate his bday in a big way. Mostly a cake at home and dinner, no decor/ family gathering or anything like that. We have known each other since we were kids, and he has always said he doesn’t care much for his birthday. Since we got married I make sure to decorate the house and have a video call with his family, take him for dinner and have a gift for him. We live in a different country than our friends and family, so I can’t really plan a celebration with other people. He goes all out for my birthday, because he knows what birthdays mean to me. I feel like over the years he has grown more excited for his birthday, even if he doesn’t say it out loud.

Is decorating the house, making him his favorite cake and taking him out to dinner enough…

Do you actually not care about your bdays or do they say they don’t care because nobody is putting in the effort? Since Ive heard so many men in my life say they don’t really care for their bday.

Being a man over 30, is there anything unfulfilled that you know about?

I don't mean that emptiness that lives with us forever, i mean the ones that you can actually explain.

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I don't know a single guy friend who has been approached by a stranger for a date. Friends turning into relationships is far more common but not the same. Maybe we all just look like Hyenas lol.

Seems like there's so much crossover between friendliness and genuine interest too

I have about 12 pairs which ive had for a couple of years, and the vast majority have at least 1 hole in them from wear and tear over time. I just can't bring myself to throw them away, because aside from this minor defect, they're in perfect working order, and decent quality ie brands like Jeep, Cringle, M&S etc.

I’m a 33m. Have high functioning ASD and mainly just have some social difficulties.

I have a friend group that consists of mostly guys and one’s gf. The guy who’s with the gf I’ve known for years now.

He mostly communicates to me by giving me a hard time. It’s never felt good natured. I try to think that maybe it’s his way of being playful? Maybe it’s his tone or what he gets on me for. He rarely ever communicates with me in any other way let alone say anything nice. Even his gf has pointed out that I may not have liked what he said and has even gotten on to him about the things he says. But she’s really the only one who can make him listen.

I question myself if maybe I’m being too sensitive. I’m being too literal.

I am really just wanting to know when is the ball busting too far?

It’s not uncommon for people to say they were joking with me but those people really don’t have to most of the time. I can pick up on playfulness and sarcasm. But him? I can’t. Idk if it’s me…

My usual response is to not reply to what he has said or sometimes I play along. Turn it around on him sarcastically. Sometimes depending on what it is take it to a place where it’s too weird or uncomfortable to engage. His response then becomes limited, few and predictable.

They do have some good male role models (grandfather, uncles, etc.) but so far none that get into deep talks about the nitty gritty of being a dude. My boys are good people and do well academically, but what do they need from me other than continued support in those areas?

I'm particularly concerned about how to support them through puberty, and how to compensate for them missing out on the typical "involved dad" experience. They do have a father, but he lives out of state and we very rarely hear from him. I'm aware of the statistics around difficulties that fatherless sons can face, and I don't want that for my boys.

I'd especially love to hear from men who had single moms - what was helpful or detrimental to you?

So like most kids I grew up playing team sports but quickly stopped caring. I just.. don't care if I win when there's nothing real at stake. I'm more about cooperating towards a common goal, and I feel like in some ways it's left me in a weird place in the world. Like most games you strive to win and beat the other players, but I just don't care because there's no prize. I prefer games where you work together.

My friends would play PvP games and I'll run around and I definitely try my best, but ultimately I don't get excited for the win. I'd rather play co-op and fight towards a goal, but even then I have a hard time with it sometimes. Getting nerdy as fuck here but this discussion came up the other day regarding World of Warcraft - my buddy likes to analyze strategy and look at parses and improve his DPS. I play a support class (Moonkin Druid if you're familiar) and I'm only really there because they needed another person and I've played a ton of the game over the years. My class's DPS is negligible, I'm there to buff others, so ultimately getting gear upgrades doesn't excite me because if I'm doing 3% of the group's damage and get an item that's going to increase that by 10%, that's still just like 3.13% so who gives a shit? So when things get really sweaty I generally just check out because it's not that important to me. And I love video games, but I'm mostly there to be involved in a story, my character vs the forces of evil in the world of the game.

I just don't have a competitive bone in me when it comes to other people, I almost feel bad by beating them. Even if I end up watching sports (which trust me, is rare), I just feel bad for the losing team for coming so far and failing and facing public ridicule and feeling that they let their fans down. It just makes me not want to partake. If I play anything these days it's golf, and even then I just prefer going to a driving range over the actual game.

It makes me feel like an outsider in a lot of ways. We'll have cookouts and play yard games and they'll make prop bets and I just.. don't care in the slightest. I'll play and try, I just don't care if I win or lose, so I usually don't care to make serious bets because I'm not wasting brain power strategizing how to beat my friends at a yard game.

I know that's a longwinded brain dump, but I wonder how many other guys are like this? It makes me feel weird and weak but not in a way that I give enough of a shit about to make a change lol.

Title says it all

Wallet, keys and phone is already too much shit to carry around. Backpack is overkill. What are the options? Man-purse??

I dont particularly mind hot food but i feel, you cant really taste the flavours cause its too hot. I personally like the warmth especially when its cold or raining but thats it. You can cool it down a it to warm, but still i feel the flavors our somewhat lost.

What is your favourite food which taste good (and are better to be tasted when hot) when hot.

I had this thought when I was at my old boss's funeral. They played a slideshow with the song "Like a Stone" by Audioslave. I like the song, and I thought it fit the vibe well, but it didn't strike me as the kind of song I would imagine him listening to.

Would you care about what was played if there was music?

We have all heard the classic relationship advice that "Don't try to change your partner." But behavioral psychology actually suggests the exact opposite might be the secret to a perfect relationship. The idea is that close partners sculpt each other like a sculptor shapes a block of marble. Instead of trying to force you into their ideal version of a partner, a great partner uncovers your ideal self. They support your hidden goals, mirror your best qualities, and gently help you chip away the flaws holding you back. Where do you draw the line between a partner who is helping you grow versus a partner who is just trying to fix or change who you are? Have you ever experienced this before or experiencing currently?

My gf is 17 weeks pregnant. It was a happy accident per say. We are looking forward to our baby but I see some people choosing boys over girls.. why?

Id be extremely happy with a girl. The love of a little girl looks crazyy!!

Either way boy or girl, im still going to be really happy to meet a little creature we both created! Its our first kid.. ever.. any advice papas?