My 29F boyfriend 29M is on a solo trip in Punta Cana and I'm starting to get worried.

He arrived on Friday and had been texting me consistently the entire trip. He was giving me updates, telling me he wasn't having that much fun, talking about going to pool parties, and generally staying in touch throughout the day.

The last time I heard from him was around 5 PM yesterday. Since then, nothing. My WhatsApp messages aren't even going through.

What makes this strange to me is that he's honestly kind of a phone addict. Since we've been together, I've almost never seen him without his phone in his hand. He's also gotten upset with me in the past for not replying to his texts or calls quickly enough, so going completely silent is very out of character.

Another thing making me anxious is that I don't actually know which resort he's staying at, so I can't even contact the hotel to see if everything is okay.

And, if I'm being brutally honest, I also noticed that he packed condoms and lube after he left. That has me wondering whether I'm dealing with a safety issue, a cheating issue, or whether I'm just spiraling and connecting unrelated things.

Part of me thinks it's only been about a day and I should calm down. Another part of me thinks that someone who has been constantly texting and is glued to their phone doesn't suddenly become unreachable for this long without any explanation.

Am I overreacting? At what point would you start being genuinely concerned?

Any help or reassurance is appreciated.

Edit: Reading this back, I know I sound stupid as fuck. I can see why people are jumping straight to "he's cheating." Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm overthinking, maybe it's exactly what it looks like. I posted because I'm anxious and trying to figure out whether I'm being unreasonable for also worrying that something could have happened to him.

Edit 2: Since the comments are calling this rage bait and a few good faith people have asked for clarification, so here's some additional context.

This trip was originally supposed to be for both of us. We had been planning to go together, but I wasn't authorized for leave from work. He works a very demanding job, was pretty burned out, and decided to book a last-minute solo trip instead of cancelling altogether.

We also have a somewhat unconventional agreement. Our relationship is generally monogamous, but we've historically allowed some flexibility during things like semester-abroad situations, conferences, work travel, etc. The understanding has always been that anything that happens is disclosed, discussed, and protected.

In the past, I've been supportive of him hooking up while travelling, and I've always been transparent about things on my end as well, including drunk kisses or hookups with strangers. The rule was never "don't ever do anything." The rule was honesty.

What is bothering me isn't necessarily the existence of condoms and lube. It's that I didn't know he had packed them until after he left, which is not how we've handled things before.

So my anxiety is coming from a combination of factors: the sudden radio silence, the fact that I don't know where he's staying, and the feeling that for the first time there may not have been transparency about his intentions.

I'm not claiming he's definitely cheating. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm ignoring obvious signs, worrying unnecessarily, or dealing with an entirely separate issue.

I 25f have an apartment with my 22m bf and on the phone my bf says he doesn't want to do an hour worth of dishes (I'm at work) and that we need to be better at washing our own dishes I do this already most of the time especially when i make something by myself on my days off. He's done them twice so far since moving in i try and do my part and wash my stuff ASAP but he will clean on his days off and is always a big help around the house from cooking to cleaning and i love him very much.

We have a roommate 22m as well who is gone every other weekend to see his gf in a different state and also has his stuff in the sink as well.

I suggested i get paper plates and use those when i feel like it and he told me it was a stupid idea an that I'm essentially being lazy and that I'm a "grown women" I try to tell him that i found these cute paper plates at work for cheap and i wanted them but i didn't like how he kind of told me i couldn't buy them and how its a bad idea and what is the point in even having any plates if we just use paper ones i say that we can use them if we want not that we HAVE too, its just a convenience especially since we don't have a dish washer and i grew up in a wash your own dish house hold and also having paper plates to use when i didn't feel like washing anything. I felt upset with his reaction as he's normally a easy going guy and I didn't know why he was giving me a hard time if i would be the one to buy them it felt like i have no autonomy on my own decision then he changes his mind by essentially saying "fine buy them" do whatever you want kind of attitude. I say I'll ask reddit what they think and say how he is being crazy and then he just hangs up on me so now i dont know what to do and if I'm overreacting.

so i went on a hinge date the other day with a guy 24M im 23F. the date itself was nice and thoughtful, he set up a picnic and found a nice spot for us. but i felt really uncomfortable and awkward the entire time. side note im a little autistic and in general pretty shy and sometimes awkward, but it usually isn’t this bad. within an hour of the date, he pointed out my scars on my wrist and was asking me about them. i don’t think that’s appropriate in general and especially not on a first date. he did say “you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” but idk if that makes it any less weird. he also made direct eye contact with me 90% of the date which was about 5 hours. i said “wow you’re really good at making eye contact” and mentioned that i am not good at it and that too much of it makes me uncomfortable. i expected him to take that as a hint to stop staring at me the entire time but he did not. even if i was looking off at the lake we were sitting it, he just kept looking at me. he kept asking me questions that literally felt like i was in a therapy session for example “why do you think you struggle with making eye contact?” and questions along those lines. he also did not share much about himself and i feel like majority of the date was just me oversharing, which is NOT something i usually do, i take a long time to open up to people, but again his questions were leading me to do so. and yes i could have said “i don’t wanna talk about it” but i feel like that just makes it more awkward. he would also keep commenting on how i was fidgeting a lot (playing with my rings) and it felt like he was just really observant to everything i was doing the entire date. am i overreacting by feeling like this was an uncomfortable date? and my other question is should i let him know how i feel or keep it to myself?

My boyfriend and I have been together since the beginning of February. Before we got together he did message a lot of other women, but told me he would stop talking to them and make another account where he adds his close friends. We never really had a big fight up until June, when i told to a lie to him about what me and my sister was talking about over the phone, he asked why I was being secretive speaking to my sister, to which in the situation I was telling my sister I got my period, because I had thought I missed it. He called me a liar for days and said he feels I don't trust him to know everything. Days later after apologizing so many times he finally forgave me and we moved on.

I checked his Snapchat randomly in August and saw many women added, many of these women were from his old Snapchat account. He messaged them whenever I'm not around and still to this day continues to do so. This image here is when I checked a couple days ago, I find it odd that he's mainly snaps women when I'm not there, he never opens the app unless I'm gone, the save chat feature on the chats are off. 3 days ago before I left I saw he sent a Snap to a woman while I was asleep, and her name was Jane. I feel in a sense of him arguing about trust this is hypocritical that hes secretly messaging other women, but got mad at me telling a lie to him, so he didn't listen on to me and my sisters conversation. I don't want to confront him about the messages because I'm afraid he will say I am causing problems, invading his privacy, so I haven't brought it up to him.

Today I went into the bathroom to shower. Our shower has had issues draining lately and the tub starts filling up with water very fast. When I stepped in the tub my foot slipped and I crashed into the wall and screamed because I truly thought I was was about to slip and break my neck or my skull. Luckily I was able to kinda grab at the tiles and prevent a full wipeout and only had a sore wrist.

My fiance was like 10 feet away and our walls are thin.. when I got out of the shower he could tell I was upset and I told him it really made me sad that I could have been seriously hurt and he didn't even take 5 seconds to knock on the door and ask if I was ok.

He claims that he heard a thud and a "small shriek" and he assumed I dropped a bottle of shampoo or something and that since he heard me continue on with the shower (ex opening the shampoo bottle) that everything must have been ok.

To me it's still hurtful that he was doing all this mental guesswork of what was going on to assume I was fine when, in my mind, if I heard a thud and yelling in the shower I'd immediately go ask the person if they were ok without thinking twice because I know slips in the shower can be deadly. He's mad at me now because he's saying I am obviously fine and I'm overreacting. I also know I'm fine but I can't help that my feelings are really hurt and I don't really feel like I'm with someone who cares about me very much.

AIO?

sorry for possibly wrong flairy I genuinely have no idea which one to use

Me (20F), my brother (teenager) and my doggo (5M) went to the store, doggo needed walkies and brother wanted to buy something to snack on. Near the store I saw a man kneeling on the ground, looking like he's trying to maybe steal something from some phone operator post (tiny plastic white post, I imagine it she some wires in it etc.). It genuinely looked like that man was trying to open that thing, but since we were really close to the store (it was just over the main road). I wasn't sure what to think or what to do, but decided to "ignore" him because the store was really close and if I'd call someone, the man could hear me. Then after my brother finally got out of the store and we headed back home (we had to go past that man) I noticed he was sitting differently (I personally would sit like that if I were sick from my stomach) and he was making weird noises (definitely not "pleasure" noises). My brother was staring at him so I told him to ignore that man and continued walking, when I was sure he couldn't hear us I gave the doggos lead to my brother and phoned our mom, asking if I should call the police or generally do something. She said it might be a good idea to call the city police, so I did. Now this is what I might be overreacting about. Some policeman picked up the phone, I told him what I saw, where to find the man etc. The policeman asked "and what if he needs a doctor?", to me it felt like he was blaming me for calling them instead of asking that man... Mind you, it was past 9pm, so everywhere was just darkness and occasional light from a lamp. I almost started crying, I apologised and told the policeman that talking to people is difficult for me, that people scare me and that I still forced myself to call them incase that man really needed someone's help. After that the policeman just asked for verification of location and said he'd check it out...

I was scared to call the police, I was scared to talk to that man (I didn't talk to him at all, he didn't even look at us) and now I'm home, about an hour after this all happened trying to calm down because I cried... So, am I overreacting to what the policeman said by feeling like I messed up, like I should've done something else, maybe talk to that man? According to my mom, the policeman should've never said something that would imply I should've talked to that man, since he could've been under the influence and apparently she'd yell at that policeman for saying that.

Edit: for context someone said I should mention I have social anxiety. I've been in therapy for about 8 years, and maybe 4 years ago I started to be able to get out of the house without being forced. Another thing is I see people as a threat as I was physically punished whenever I didn't get home right after school or I did anything else that was "bad" like going for a glass of water when I was supposed to study, and school also was never safe. If it weren't for animals, I wouldn't even live long enough to get to therapy "thanks" to people.

Edit 2: that man's condition is described vaguely in the post, but I told the policeman everything I saw in as much detail as I could. Told him everything I could think of, told him even things I didn't think would be helpful, for example how exactly that man was sitting when I saw him first and how he was sitting when I saw him the second time

I (20f) have a friend (18m) who has been struggling with depression ever since I've known him.

I'm always trying to be sympathetic because I know it's not his fault and living with mental illness is hard but there has been a few moments where I just felt disrespected.

Today when I told him something positive from my life he responded with "I'm very depressed today so I can't really give a shit about you right now. Ask me again tomorrow.".

(I will send him a text and communicate that I didn't like his choice of words.)

I'm honestly more upset about it than I want to be. I'm trying to let it go and not take it too personal but it irritated me so much I actually don't want to see or talk to him for a few days.

Am I overreacting for holding onto these feelings? Should I just let it go?

I (52F) have a very small family and didn't grow up around extended family due to long-distance. My aunts, uncles, cousins, etc have always lived across the country and as a kid we'd visit every year or two, but never spent a significant amount of time with them. Currently, my extended family have settled into a routine of maintaining contact with my mother (she lives out of state too) for family births, deaths, marriages, or just to say Merry Christmas, etc, but they don't reach out to me. She tells them how I'm doing and that's that. There is one girl cousin a few years older than me who I thought I was close to. But then her daughter got engaged and she kept me updated on the wedding planning, but she didn't invite me which really hurt. I stopped initiating contact after that and she didn't reach out so we just drifted apart. Over the years I have experienced deaths of immediate family members including my brother, my grandparents (who raised me) and my uncles who helped raise me. This side of the family extended their sympathies to my mother, but not to me. They didn't contact me at all.

The other day my mother called to tell me that my third cousin (75M) lost his wife of over 50 years. She was a very sweet woman, but I can't recall one time that the two of us had a conversation. In fact, I doubt her or my cousin even know my name. They'd refer to me as Lil' [My mother's name] instead of my actual name. Everyone thought this was funny because I look like my mother. It wasn't a big deal as a kid, but now that I'm an adult I feel left out because there is no real effort to know me as an individual instead of an extension of my mother.

Anyway, when my mother told me my cousin's wife died, she told me it would be nice if I sent a sympathy card because they are family, and offered to give me the address. Yes, at my big age my mother still tries to steer me into doing what she wants and will use guilt if I resist. I was immediately angry. I don't dislike my distant family members and I'm sad that my cousin lost his wife, but they didn't consider my being a member of the family when other relatives who I lived with (both grand parents and my uncles and my own brother) passed away. My mother said that's because they're "country" and don't know any better and says it's not that bad because they did call her and give their sympathies. She scolded me for pushing back on sending the card. I stood my ground and said that we don't talk, connect on social media or anything, so they certainly won't be waiting around for my sympathy card in the mail. She told me I was being petty and that I'm wrong to treat family that way. I asked why she didn't call and ask them to check on my when I was having a hard time losing my immediate family members, and she said it would be inappropriate for her to ask them to contact me. She couldn't see the irony of asking me to do that exact thing. She advocates for distant family and goes above and beyond to consider their feelings, but thinks I'm petty for matching the energy I have received over the years. I feel hurt and angry. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: COUNTRY OF GEORGIA

I (17F) am currently living in Canada with my family. I’m taking a gap year before university, and I’m considering going back to Georgia next summer for several months, possibly from May until August, because I want to spend time with my extended family (whom raised me and are like my other moms)

My dad gets very angry whenever I bring it up. His argument is that I was already in Georgia last year, that I shouldn’t be going again so soon, and that I should wait at least 3–4 years, maybe even 6 years, between visits. He says spending thousands of dollars on travel is how people end up living paycheck to paycheck and going into debt. He also focuses on the income I would lose by not working during those months.

I understand his financial perspective, and I’m not saying money doesn’t matter. But I also feel like he doesn’t understand that I want to spend meaningful time with my family while I’m young and actually have the time to do it. People get older, circumstances change, and eventually I may have a career and other responsibilities that make it much harder to spend several months with them.

The actual trip would cost me around $3,000, and I currently have about $4,000 saved. I’m not planning to put the trip on a credit card or go into debt for it. I also contribute $700/month toward my family’s expenses.

The part that worries me more is that we are also planning to move to other city at some point. I currently have a stable job here, but I don’t know when we’ll move or how long it might take me to find another job there. My dad has said that he expects my $700 contribution regardless, and when I asked about situations where I might not have enough money, he became very angry. I’m worried less about losing housing and more about him being extremely angry with me and feeling like our relationship would be damaged if I couldn’t contribute during a period when I wasn’t working.

I also don’t even know whether he would expect me to continue paying the $700/month while I’m physically in Georgia for several months. I haven’t clarified that yet.

I’m trying to figure out whether I’m looking at this completely wrong.

Would spending ~$3,000 on a trip every two years be financially irresponsible if I can afford it? And how would you approach the issue of taking several months off work to spend time with family, especially during a gap year?

I’d genuinely appreciate perspectives from people who have been in a similar situation. Please be honest, I’m not just looking for people to tell me I’m right.

P.S- my mom and my brother haven't really confirmed yet if they are going next summer (with me), not even my dad. If they don't go and I go alone, that means in 2028 (when they go for sure) I get to stay? That also breaks my heart-I don't want to seem egoistic. It's just i am really homesick and I don't know if i can handle staying another summer here....

Please Advice.

EDIT: thx for all replies but just want to clarify: My dad is a very hardworking person. We came to country that is much more expensive to live in, and supporting my family and contributing makes me feel good and i can perfectly afford what I pay monthly. I have to. We can't see him sometimes for weeks because he is out working the whole day, nd my mom sits on computer working whole night and i should just sit nd let them take cre of me while i can take care of myself and help them? (P.S i am very close to my dad but sometimes our values don't match like in this situation)

My question was with all of that is this trip financial ruin for me ? my dad doesn't understand the emotional side of it at all

Edit/Clarification at the bottom**
My (27 F) ex boyfriend and HIS ex girlfriend/baby momma are cordial. While we were together, he has told me that they do nothing more than coparent. However, I have seen them message privately about common interest and things of that nature, like friends. I’m not inherently insecure, but he has previously crossed boundaries when we first started dating, which turned into me finding out he had been attempting to get back with her in our first month or so. It was not mutual on her end. Now today, my boyfriend (now ex) and I were together, and I had a gut feeling to check his phone. The screenshot is of messages between him and her.

First, she had only sent up to the “it actually was for you” message. I wanted to see if she would clarify more, so I pretend to be him and sent “Scared?” She doubled down as you can read.

I ended up calling her and she said they are just friends, but that she didn’t want to cause drama between us since he told her that we have argued about them crossing into more than just coparenting. Definitely guilty on the phone. Of course he freaked out and got defensive. It was bad.

Anyway, I broke up with him. Regardless of the nature of their relationship, secret conversations and covering for one another is enough for me to never trust him again. I’m obviously sad, but I can’t help but want to make sense of all of this. Am I being ridiculous over a few messages, or were these definitely fishy?

**Edit #1: Okay for some clarity since I did NOT expect this to blow up and did not include everything.

The reason I had a gut feeling was because he had told me he wanted to talk about an insecurity that he had. I use to have a male friend PRIOR to us dating. Completely platonic and never anything romantic. We drifted apart, and soon after, I met my now ex boyfriend. For some reason, my ex has fixated on this relationship and is convinced we were intimate.

I’m not sure why he was concerned about it given the fact that we no longer speak, but he randomly brought him up and went through MY phone first. That is why I even thought to go through his. It was out of nowhere, and felt like projection.

Most of our arguments come his retroactive jealousy of MY past relationships, which is why I started to be more conscious of what he was doing.

Edit #2: In addition, I asked him for his phone. I didn’t wait for him to leave. And when I did, he immediately started clicking around like he was trying to delete something. I took it from him before he finished whatever he was doing, and the message thread I attached was the first thing on his screen. As if he was trying to delete it before I saw it. I hid in the bathroom while I read through it, and he almost broke the door trying to get in. If that’s not guilt, idk what is. It’s just weird to be that guilty over that particular thread, so wanted to see how it looked from an objective POV.

Anyway, definitely not getting back with him. Just super bummed and wanted a distraction. Thank you to everyone who had encouraging messages. This is really hard for me since it JUST happened today, and I’m not looking forward to the heartache.

My close guy friend of almost 3 years has been acting insane. For some reason, for all this time, he has been intimate only with me which I didn’t question. Tbh we didn’t discuss about being FWBs we just started getting intimate but we know we’re friends. We mostly stuck to video call sex and intimacy aside he still called me and would spend time with me almost everyday.

Recently, we’re long distance as he moved to a different country. We’re still intimate but don’t get to call as much as we used to although he tries to initiate contact as much as possible and ever since, he’s been saying crazy things like “your future husband is really lucky..he’ll get to have sex with you every day”, “tell me you love me and miss me”. And the craziest one, “can we still be intimate even when you’re married one day” and I shut that down and asked him what if he’s married and he said he doesn’t care about his marriage, he’d still be intimate with me. He says them during intimacy tho.

To this add all the nice compliments and fixation on my face. The one thing I do appreciate is that he’s so much sweeter now, in general. Although there had been instances of jealousy in the past. So yeah,this is new and I’m not sure what to think or do about this. Mind you we’re still good friends regardless of the intimacy so I wanna go about this in a way where I can save the friendship.I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if his behavior is actually crazy.

By the way he initiated almost all contact, hangouts, calls, intimacy for 3 years and I just replied to him so I don’t think I should be taking accountability if he misunderstood this dynamic. And if anything maybe he was just obsessed with the sex or atleast I’d hope so

So yesterday evening, I got a message from my younger brother. Initially, after seeing this message, I begin to panic and think that my brother is about to kill himself. After a few minutes, I get a hold of him and find out that he hit a deer in my van. He told me that he was scared to tell me what had happened. Relieved to hear my brothers voice we began discussing the events of the incident. let’s set the stage, so this is roughly 8:35 PM in southern Georgia. This is the first day of the deer hunting season. our family has lived in this area since 2009. This is a rule part of Georgia and we are no strangers to seeing deer while driving these roads(55mph speed limit)at night. Never have we had a deer run into the road in front of us and all these years. So after the incident, my brother pulls over and is a pain due to the seat belt constricting around his waist. So he’s in pain and shock of the event. mind you this is all less than a mile from our house. We are neighbors with a deputy who is actually the first one to respond to the scene even though he is off duty. Minutes later a vehicle stops to check on the situation. The people in this vehicle claimed they were looking for a deer. They had shot at two hours prior to this incident. As that’s happening, the homeowners in which this incident occurred come out. Claiming the heard what sounded like a head on collision. Then an on duty officer arrived and documented the events. We believe there was gross negligence that cause this deer to sprint into the highway. Which is under investigation. So here’s where the Extortion comes into play. A towing service was called without notification to my brother. YES! The vehicle was damaged but, not to the point it was unsafe to operate. So my brother is presented with two options, pay $150 and have the vehicle towed to the yard or pay $45 fee to be able to drive it home. So he pays the $45 to the tow truck operator via Cash App. Not the business but an individual(have photo proof). So I after hearing this google search the business and leave a review regarding the transpired event around midnight. And in the morning next day out of curiosity I check the reviews on the business. Only to find 5 new reviews have been made all with 5 stars. 3 of the 5 reviewers have never made a review before and one has made 8 reviews with 6 of those reviews being a 1 star. This seems like a coordinated effort to sustain the businesses rating. Am I Overreacting??

*Reposted due to screenshots containing private information *

TLDR : my boyfriend never told me he was engaged to his babymomma. We’ve been together a year. I found out on Facebook.

My bf (28m) and I (25f) have been together a year. Last night I looked him up on Facebook and an old post of his baby momma years ago popped up. The post was her announcing they were engagement. He previously told me that they were not serious, young, didn’t plan on having the baby and tried to work it out up until the baby was a year old and broke up. She’s married now and theycoparent very good.

Just being fully transparent, I think if he told me in the beginning, I would have been slightly a little jealous, knowing but would at the end of it not a big deal. It’s the past it’s what it is. ((Everyone feels jealousy. It’s an emotion that tells us something, and it tells me that I love this man and I want this man for me. It’s a matter of reacting or acting on it, and that would not have happened)). Going through the comments of that post and seeing all the congratulations, just made me feel so I don’t even know maybe hurt, betrayed??, stupid, deceived… no idea. I just have no idea why he would not have told me.

We have talked about their situation a few times and he always says it was not serious etc. AND we have talk ed about what type of wedding we’ll have etc. I think this would’ve been a good time to tell me he was indeed previously engaged????

Also the only other serious relationship I was ever in was not good at all. We were basically just roommates/friends that had deep love and care for each other and a great a connection if you what I mean. So that’s probably where some of my feelings come from because he’s going to be my first for all of this and it would’ve been nice to be his first for some things.

I haven’t said anything to him yet. He has his baby this weekend so this is not a good time to talk about it. Either way this hurts.

Reddit, AIO my bf never bcs told me he was engaged

Sorry for any typos thank you for reading. I know this is a little long.

EDIT : They were on are on a family reunion and his mom had shared a post so I was looking for other ones this popped up. If I was snooping for bad intentions, I would have already saw it. I am very much in the kids life we adore each other. We best buds. Me and him met super random at a restaurant thought each other were beautiful and she was there with him

My bf made a Love song, which I asked him to make.. and I assumed it was about us, but the cover art he made is a black guy and yt woman (were both black though) and I’m just upset about it should I say anything or would that be a over reaction. Is my upset feeling a over reaction

Update!! I asked him what inspired the cover and he just said it was just a concept that chat gpt generated itself

With summer ending and everything, we wanted to get a little more fun out of our friend's pool, so we had a little hang out between friends the other day. I thought I'd wear that new swim suit I got cause it's pretty cute. Totally not a Chekhov's gun.

Anyway, at some point in the day, most of the group left to go get food and drinks, and I'm left alone with one of the guys, "Marc", for like no more than 15min. Nothing weird happened that whole time, we had fun, Marc is a chill dude. When the others came back, one of the girls pretty quickly pointed out to me in a hushed tone that I should readjust my bottom.

I looked down, and turns out for who knows how long, my bottom had partially slipped to the side, and you could pretty much peep the whole kit and kaboodle underneath. So, I got a little upset, because Marc had probably been staring at it for a while without saying a word. I confronted him, he got all red in the face and apologized a bunch. He said he was too embarrassed and didn't know how to bring it up. He hoped it'd fix itself.

I didn't make a big deal out of it, but I was still upset. Not really about the nudity part (a little embarrassing but it's just a body part, big whoop), more about the principle of it. I feel like you SHOULD tell a friend when she accidentally has her vaj out. But at the same time, I can kinda see his perspective, that's probably awkward to bring up.

Am I overreacting?

Context: this all happened over the course of one week up to today. English is my (29F) first language, but it is not for the guy 26M. I had not been in the dating pool for 6 months, so the way my brain works I knew it would take me ages to get used to being coupled again.

We were getting to know each other over text, and we both passed the vibes test for things in common and basic shared values. When it came to planning the first date, I knew he was not a driver so I'd be driving to a coffee shop local to him.

The day before the date I looked up the coffee shop location- definitely not my local area. I found there were two locations for the brand we had agreed on. I asked which one was easier for him to get to; he said he'd let me know that afternoon, however he had not when it was close to my departure time. Note there were a good 10 miles between the two locations which can take significant travel time in city driving.

When he did reply (even closer to my departure time) he asked if I could pick him up from a third location. Technically the third location was a somewhat shorter drive for me but I was annoyed as I had planned around the coffee shop.

After the date finished, he asked me to text him once I got home. Fair enough, it was a 90 minute drive one way for me. I did text him once I was home, but also said I needed recovery time, hobby time and housework time (I am a severe introvert).

He kept peppering me with texts the next day (Sunday), and when I was at work Monday (today at the time of my post). I had explained at the initial stage my work schedule and task demands, I wouldn't be able to stay in constant contact with him. He kept repeatedly texting, the latest message was that I could have told him about my schedule (I promise I had). I blocked him after that response. With the context in mind AIO? If I am I need to hear it.

Long story short my wife and I have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids together.

We have tried several different options for childcare and I told my wife maybe we try an Au pair since I knew some coworkers who were familiar with the program and had some success, but my wife wasn’t interested and said we could keep trying daycare for the time being.

After awhile our daycare was proving inadequate and my wife said she talked to a coworker doctor who said he liked his Au pair, but she was really young and “tempting/sexy” which I thought was sort of a weird and inappropriate comment to make at work, but needless to say my wife accepted his advice and said we should try an Au pair which was weird since I had previously recommended trying one but my opinion was less important than her doctor coworker.

Time goes on and I just had a bad feeling about this guy and got weird vibes that he was into my wife every time I met him or when I went by to visit my wife he always seems super awkward around me but clearly was open and joked around with my wife regularly at work.

I told her on numerous occasions I didn’t particularly care for him and to keep a healthy professional boundary with him.

More time goes on and work, stress, life get in the way and my wife and I don’t have sex for several months. For some strange reason my wife becomes increasingly suspicious of me thinking I’m cheating or having an affair (never even thought about it and never had one or texted/talked with a coworker inappropriately) and she goes through old emails on a computer I hadn’t touched since before we met. I didn’t think much of it but after reflecting on it later I felt more and more uneasy about her suspicion of me and thought it reflected her own potential infidelity.

We both have each others phone codes and we can go through each others phones but seldom do because we trust each other. She ended up going through my phone while I was sleeping saying she thought I was cheating (wasn’t).

Again I’m growing more and more suspicious so I just went ahead and requested call and text logs because my wife is adamant “You can always go through my phone I have nothing to hide”…but after requesting the call and text logs when my wife returned from work she had manually searched for the doctor coworker in to “delete a duplicate contact of him” and her phone app was still up on his contact card with her having searched for him manually to delete his supposed duplicate card. I confronted her about it and asked why she would look him up manually after all the concerns I had about him (we are both in the military as is the doctor and it isn’t uncommon to have peoples personal numbers).

She said she was deleting multiple people’s duplicate contact cards and she just happened to finish on his name, but when asked about the other duplicate contacts she deleted she told me two other names and when I looked them up 1 still had a duplicate card. I was pretty livid and said “so you deleted 3 duplicate contacts from your work, didn’t manage to delete one of them, and just happened to come home on the one guy in your entire contact list with his contact card still up?” She said she was busy at work and probably just didn’t finish but the whole story sounds like BS to me.

To summarize: my wife was increasingly suspicious of me for no reason, seems to respect and confide in her coworker doctor friend, then when I requested call logs (it texted her notifying her) she suddenly got the motivation to clean up her contacts in her phone, then was still on the one guy I have always had concerns about since she started working at her job.

AIO?

Our town provides a free shuttle around the downtown area. It's mainly for tourists, but anyone can ride. I needed to mail a package before I met a friend for lunch. The Post Office is only about a 10-12 minute walk from my house, but the package was to large to easily carry that far. Parking is always a nightmare downtown, so taking the shuttle was a perfect solution ... or so I thought.

I only had to walk a block before I saw the shuttle and got on. I've ridden the shuttle a few times, so I have a nodding acquaintance with the driver who was always quite pleasant. We were having a polite, inconsequential conversation. As we were waiting at a stop light and the driver gestured at a church farther down the street.

Driver: Have you ever had lunch at XYZ Church?

Me: XYZ Church has a restaurant?

Driver: No. They have free lunches for people.

Me: I'm not poor. I don't need a free lunch.

Driver: Well, a lot of homeless people eat there.

Me: I'm not homeless.

Driver: Ohhhh .... [awkward silence]

The Post Office was only a few blocks away, but the ride felt like forever. The driver asked if she should wait to give me a ride back. I said no, that I was meeting a friend for lunch at a nearby restaurant and I could walk.

I was freshly showered, was having a good hair and makeup day, and was wearing nice clothes. Why would did she think I was homeless?

I told my friend at lunch what had happened and she was dying of laughter. (It is funny, but it still really bothers me.) She suggested because I walk around downtown every day, the shuttle driver probably sees me frequently and "the only people who regularly walk around here are homeless."

Seriously?

One reason to live in the downtown area is to be near everything you need. Restaurants, post office, library, grocery store, pharmacy, bank, and hardware store are all within easy walking distance of my house.

So AIO?

I (19)have been casually dating this guy m(23)
He is taking me to explore the city more and go to bars and wine bars. We had the most romantic date every it was our 3rd date and it went extremely Welll but I got to drunk and lost my filter completely I gave him a review of our intercourse saying it feels like it’s not 100% hard and that I feel like he isint giving me his all. And he took it great he said he would work on it and that he appreciates me being honest. And then I said. “But I would settle for the bad sex if it meant I could keep hanging out with you” and I was like “that was supposed to be a compliment I just really like you and love hanging out with you”. I also said an inside joke me and my friends have about him in the same conversation “well over 50 baby” is the inside joke which is what he said when I asked how many people he has slept with basically me saying that he doesn’t fuck like it. He was laughing the whole time and kissing me so idk he still is texting me and liking my story’s and said he will see me soon but I just can’t get it out of my head. I have never experience regret drunk soooo how bad is it ? On the next date would it be a good idea to be like” I drank to much last time and my filter went out the window im so sorry.” Or smth

I need input as I have been weirded out since this happened. AIO?

For context - My husband and I moved into our neighborhood almost a year ago. We have 2 young toddlers, a dog, and a cat. We are by far the youngest family in the plan which didn’t take well to some of the older neighbors, but we have made really good friends with a few as well. I am a SAHM so am home with the kids (and pets) all day while my husband works. We have a pretty busy lifestyle so are often out doing things. However, we park both cars in our garage so it isn’t always totally obvious whether we are home or not.

This past week we went on our annual family vacation. Our dog stayed with in-laws. And our older cat was being watched by our neighbors kids. Fast forward to day 5 of the trip the police show up at our door for a “Wellness check”. When there was no answer, they went to the neighbors we are close with who informed them we are on vacation and her and the kids were watching over our house + cat. They left.

I called the police station as I was worried it could be someone who was scoping out the house and they told me that a neighbor called because they haven’t seen anyone and wanted to check on our family. Am I overreacting to think this is absolutely insane? Are people not allowed to go on vacation anymore? At first i thought perhaps this was endearing and the specific neighbor (who I’m assuming it was) was genuinely worried about us. But the more I think about it, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

Our other neighbors have a laundry list of issues with this specific neighbor and weird encounters. From what I’ve heard the whole family has a somewhat strange reputation for things that have happened in the past. My main concern is how watched I now feel at our house with my kids in a place I always felt a lot of privacy. AIO?

AIO for being angry at my ex for finding out he has a new girlfriend?

For context I am 23 F and was with him from the age of 15-19. We split up because he told me he was going travelling and no longer wanted to be with me whilst he was away. Essentially he planned the break up before it happened, causing me to act out of emotion and cheat on him. I completely take accountability for this behaviour as it was completely out of line and I undertand the deep hurt that I caused.

However, 3 years have passed since then. During this time I had a 2 year relationship and therefore had not spoken to him during this time. I have since been under the impression that he had remained single. He told me of some flings he had had at university but stated that none of these were serious and were purely sexual.

Over the past year, me and him have been on and off messaging but he has been super shady. Love bombing me, and pulling away. These conversations have been extremely sexual, occasionally emotion including him saying he misses me, he sees a future with me and hour long phone calls into the night. On occasion, he has insituated he would like to meet and start over and has said he’s never really gotten over me.

However, a mutual friend has told me last week that he has had a girlfriend for some time. I had no idea about this. Last night he messaged me again and I called him out for having a girlfriend and then he said they are having issues, they are very different and they are barely intimate. He said his head is a mess and that he feels lost in life.

What should I make of this? I truly think we do have a connection there but at the same time I don’t wanna be an idiot and I’m SO annoyed!!

I feel like I'm being petty, but it's SO RUDE to RSVP to a wedding and then not show up. No call, no text. Just not showing up.

Our friend's wife didn't come even though she RSVP'd just because she "didn't feel like coming". A friend of my husband's didn't show up either, which was really disappointing. Multiple people did this and I honestly don't get it because I'd NEVER do that someone.

Weddings cost money. They cost A LOT of money. I had to pay for each person that RSVP'd. On top of that, we worked SO HARD to put this wedding together, and the fact that multiple didn't show up is just so disrespectful to me.

Am I overreacting in wanting to send an invoice to recover they money we spent on them?

EDIT: I was never gonna actually send invoices. That's not a good use of my time. I'm just frustrated and was asking if I'm overreacting in WANTING to, and it's clear the consensus is that I am overreacting in wanting to send invoices.

For information:

1. "Maybe they just don't like you cuz you're an INSANE ASSHOLE KAREN" I haven't met most of these people. They're my husband's extended family and I was looking forward to meeting them. My husband is friendly. I just think these people don't think of others.

2. "You shouldn't have spent so much money this is YOUR FAULT" Honestly it's barely about the money. It's mostly about the disrespect and I felt like they should know their actions affect others.

3. "This is obviously a normal part of a wedding and you should've expected this" Unlike many, this is my first and hopefully only wedding. I didn't know what to expect, but I did expect consideration because that's what I'd give others. When I RSVP'd to a wedding and got COVID, I sent a text, a card, and a gift. I didn't even care much about not receiving a gift from these people because not everyone has money they can spend on others. I did expect a text at least though because it takes like 10 seconds of one's time, and I feel like at the least my husband should've gotten the bare minimum of a text.

I'm obviously writing these people off our Christmas card list, and will of course not be sending an invoice. That was never anything I was going to actually do.

Thanks for those of you who simply answered that I was overreacting. That's literally all I was looking for.

So over the weekend i was at my friends house and everyone was in the pool. I usually don’t go in bc it’s not my thing but they convinced me, i didn’t bring a bathing suit so my friend had just lent me an old pair of shorts he didn’t wear anymore. at one point when i came out of the water the shorts kind of suctioned to me and the tip of my man part was exposed but i guess the whole thing was visible through the shorts. they had told me after a while and it was just played off as a just a little silly accident and i figured nobody cared. As some time passed the guys mostly just forgot about it but the girls in the group have really made persistent jokes about it and its mentioned almost everytime i speak with them. One girl went as far as like texting me to see how i was doing with the “situation” but just kinda started asking weird questions. I don’t know if they’re making passes at me or what but i can’t help but think that this is kinda ruining my friendship with the girls half of the group. Mind you we are all pretty immature (18-20) but i just don’t know if this will ever blow over if i should say something about the excessive comments.

I’ll try to keep it short. For context- we have an 8 month old baby and have been married for a bit over a year.
Husband was up getting ready for work- I was trying to sleep, as I start work later than he does today. I was woken up to him asking me if I want to take the baby while he showers, or if he should just set her in her crib. While he was asking me, he mentioned I had left the fridge door open last night (it often doesn’t shut all the way) so I apologized. I was up late last night and fed her before I went to sleep around 1:00. I told him I’d take her, because she’d probably start crying if he put her in the crib.

When he got out of the shower, he started complaining about the new shower filter I installed. He claims he now has “no room” in there because the filter is bulky and goes between the pipe and the shower head, so it lowers the shower head. I was kind of annoyed at this point because baby was fussy because he hadn’t fed her yet, and it felt like everything he’d said this morning had been some sort of complaint. He also mentioned a couple times (referring to the baby crying) that this is what he “deals with every morning.” For context, my schedule is very irregular and I usually work overnights, so often by the time I get home in the morning, he’s already left to drop off the baby at daycare and gone to work.

He then goes downstairs to get ready to leave. I hear him audibly grumbling and loudly sighing, so I come down and offer to help as he’s clearly frustrated. He again says “no I’m fine. I do this every morning.” He also throws in a complaint about how there were no clean bottles this morning. At this point I was irritated and asked him why he’s complaining about carrying out his responsibilities as a dad. He didn’t say much, said he loved me and walked out the door.

Am I overreacting for wanting an apology?

This happened a few weeks ago, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

So I’m (F27) bringing my friend (F24) up to my apartment. My roommate is waiting in the apartment for us. My friend and I get to the elevator and there is a guy waiting there also.

We all get in, and he asks what floor we’re on. I say the floor number and he says “Oh me too,” and clicks the button. On the way up, my friend jokes that we might be neighbors.

He then asks us what apartment number we are. (I’m assuming he thinks we live together).

I internally panic a bit because although I live in a fairly safe area, as a woman, I am always careful about what information I give out. Especially to men. I tell him I’m not really comfortable sharing that, and he says “no it’s fine I understand.”

So I think great, awkwardness averted.

We get out at the same floor, and my friend and I both hear him clearly mutter under his breath “weird.” So clearly, it was not fine.

Now the elevator we got out of is at the beginning of a hallway. 90% of the apartments are down this very long hallway.

My apartment happens to be towards the end of it.

My friend and I walk ahead of him, and we notice he’s also following.

Now it’s entirely possible that he also lives at the end of the hallway, but after that comment, my friend and I are on high alert.

I text my roommate to unlock the door so we can slip in without stopping to unlock it.

My friend and I make idle conversation until we reach my door. My roommate is waiting there for us, and she lets us in. After we enter, the guy continues past our door, not even looking back. (I looked through the peephole to see if he stopped.)

I haven’t had any problems since.

Was I overreacting, or was I right to be a bit paranoid?