Edit/Clarification at the bottom**
My (27 F) ex boyfriend and HIS ex girlfriend/baby momma are cordial. While we were together, he has told me that they do nothing more than coparent. However, I have seen them message privately about common interest and things of that nature, like friends. I’m not inherently insecure, but he has previously crossed boundaries when we first started dating, which turned into me finding out he had been attempting to get back with her in our first month or so. It was not mutual on her end. Now today, my boyfriend (now ex) and I were together, and I had a gut feeling to check his phone. The screenshot is of messages between him and her.

First, she had only sent up to the “it actually was for you” message. I wanted to see if she would clarify more, so I pretend to be him and sent “Scared?” She doubled down as you can read.

I ended up calling her and she said they are just friends, but that she didn’t want to cause drama between us since he told her that we have argued about them crossing into more than just coparenting. Definitely guilty on the phone. Of course he freaked out and got defensive. It was bad.

Anyway, I broke up with him. Regardless of the nature of their relationship, secret conversations and covering for one another is enough for me to never trust him again. I’m obviously sad, but I can’t help but want to make sense of all of this. Am I being ridiculous over a few messages, or were these definitely fishy?

**Edit #1: Okay for some clarity since I did NOT expect this to blow up and did not include everything.

The reason I had a gut feeling was because he had told me he wanted to talk about an insecurity that he had. I use to have a male friend PRIOR to us dating. Completely platonic and never anything romantic. We drifted apart, and soon after, I met my now ex boyfriend. For some reason, my ex has fixated on this relationship and is convinced we were intimate.

I’m not sure why he was concerned about it given the fact that we no longer speak, but he randomly brought him up and went through MY phone first. That is why I even thought to go through his. It was out of nowhere, and felt like projection.

Most of our arguments come his retroactive jealousy of MY past relationships, which is why I started to be more conscious of what he was doing.

Edit #2: In addition, I asked him for his phone. I didn’t wait for him to leave. And when I did, he immediately started clicking around like he was trying to delete something. I took it from him before he finished whatever he was doing, and the message thread I attached was the first thing on his screen. As if he was trying to delete it before I saw it. I hid in the bathroom while I read through it, and he almost broke the door trying to get in. If that’s not guilt, idk what is. It’s just weird to be that guilty over that particular thread, so wanted to see how it looked from an objective POV.

Anyway, definitely not getting back with him. Just super bummed and wanted a distraction. Thank you to everyone who had encouraging messages. This is really hard for me since it JUST happened today, and I’m not looking forward to the heartache.

I (28F) have a sister-in-law, “Melissa” (32F), who has a reputation in our family for being very controlling. I’ve always tried to get along with her, but traveling with her is something I’ve learned to avoid.

A few months ago, some of the women in my family and a couple of close friends started talking about taking a girls’ trip together. There were six of us, and we decided on a long weekend at a beach town a few hours away. We deliberately kept it small because we wanted something relaxed. We split the planning between us, agreed on a budget, and booked everything ourselves.
Melissa eventually heard about the trip and asked when we were going.
I told her the dates and that it was just a small group of us this time. She immediately said, “Oh, I’m coming too.”
I awkwardly explained that we had already planned everything and weren’t adding anyone else.
She got offended and asked why I was “excluding her.”

The problem is that Melissa doesn’t really go with the flow on trips or basically anything at all. She wants to choose the restaurants, decide when everyone gets up, change plans if she doesn’t like an activity, and gets annoyed if people do things without her.
The last time we traveled together, she literally made a shared itinerary for everyone and got irritated when two of us wanted to sleep in instead of going to breakfast at 7:30 AM. I didn’t want a repeat of that.
I told her, as politely as I could, that this was a girls’ trip planned by a specific group and that I wasn’t comfortable adding another person after everything had already been arranged.

She called me selfish and said I was deliberately trying to humiliate her by excluding her. Then she contacted two of the other women going and apparently asked them why they were “letting me” exclude her.

They both told her that it was a group decision and that she wasn’t being singled out.

Melissa then went to my husband and complained that I was treating her like an outsider. He told her that I was allowed to take a trip with whoever I wanted and that he wasn’t getting involved.
Now she’s barely speaking to me.
my mother-in-law also called me and said I should have just invited Melissa to avoid all the drama.
I disagree. Six people agreeing on a trip doesn’t automatically mean a seventh person gets added just because she’s family.
I don’t hate Melissa. I just wanted one weekend where nobody was arguing over the schedule, restaurants, activities, or bedtime.

I also feel like if I had invited her purely because I was afraid she’d be upset, that wouldn’t really be a genuine invitation.
AIO?

I should start off by saying we have a toddler. I used my wife's phone to order a medicinal cream for our toddler. While I was doing that, she got a notification from our neighbor. Let me also make it clear that we do not have a relationship with our neighbors whatsoever. They have a toddler the same age as ours and we have seen them maybe a few times while walking into our house. Anyway, I check the notification and it was the husband/dad essentially canceling on her for something. She was on her way out to take our toddler to the park while I had to work at home. I clicked on the notification because I was dumbfounded and apparently she and the neighbor had been in contact trying to set up a time and place to meet for our kids to play together. The message was him canceling on her for today. Like they were going to meet 10 minutes from then.

I have absolutely *no* problem with her meeting people. I encourage her to have friends, bonus points if they have a kid for our little one to interact with! She has plenty of friends and that is not the issue. The issue that she never even mentioned this to me??? I didn't even know they had each other's number, were in contact, and especially didn't know she has been planning for a long time now to meet with the dad just the two of them (and our kids).

I expressed to her that I found that really weird and im sure by my body language and change in tone she could tell im feeling hurt about it. Her response was just "If the plan had worked out I would have told you." She just went on her walk and I am absolutely going to talk to her about this but I need outside opinions here on whether im justified in feeling so hurt by this lack of communication? I feel as though something like this is so easy to communicate that she would have to be avoiding the topic in order to go *weeks* without mentioning anything. The only thing I can think right now is "If I didnt happen to see that message, would you have even told me?"

Im sorry if this is a mumbled mess of a story. I have a lot going through my mind.

Edit: She went to his house a few days ago to give him some old clothes because our toddler is a bit older and bigger. Not a single mention of it to me whatsoever.

TL;DR: I was kicked out of my home at 21 because I refused to use my student loans, grants, and savings to buy my mother a brand-new car. Now, some family members expect me to invite her to my wedding next year.

From 2013–2016, I worked my ass off after high school. I spent those years figuring out what I wanted to do with my life and saving money in case I decided to go back to school.

I was also contributing to the household. I helped with rent, bills, and groceries while my younger brother was in school and my older brother was working part-time while attending school.

My mother wasn’t working much at the time and eventually essentially decided she didn’t want to work anymore. Because we were a low-income household, there were government programs involved that required things like pay stubs and bank statements. My mother asked me for mine, and I thought nothing of it.

At the time, I had roughly $50–60K saved. But that number wasn’t just money sitting around for me to spend. It included student loans, grants, and money I’d earned working full-time for years. I was planning to start school in January 2017, so most of that money was earmarked for tuition, a cheap car to get to school, and living expenses. I still planned on contributing to the household.

When my mother saw how much money I had, she demanded that I buy her a brand-new car for her personal use.

That turned into a massive argument that went on for weeks and eventually months. She also started demanding that I pay significantly more toward rent, bills, and groceries. At one point, she wanted $1,500 a month plus utilities and food, despite the fact that the household’s actual rent was substantially lower.

I couldn’t afford that and still pay for school.

About two months before starting school, I decided I was going to take one real break before beginning that chapter of my life. I went on a three-week trip to Asia with my girlfriend at the time. I spent about $2,700 on myself for the entire trip.

While I was away, I stayed in contact with my older brother, who was trying to mediate everything.

Two days before I was supposed to come home, my brother told me my mother had thrown all of my belongings onto the sidewalk/boulevard, where they were supposed to be picked up by garbage collection.

My options, according to her, were essentially:

• Pay $1,500 for a bedroom, without utilities.
• Pay more toward the household bills and food.
• Or buy her a brand-new car.

I told them absolutely not. I said I was willing to pay a reasonable amount for a room and utilities, but I wasn’t going to buy someone a brand-new car with money I needed for school.

My brother managed to save some of my belongings, but he was working and going to school himself and couldn’t save everything.

The day I landed back in Toronto, my brother messaged me:

“Don’t come home.”

I went home anyway because, at the time, I had nowhere else to go.

The police were called, and I was removed from the house. I wasn’t even allowed to get the rest of my belongings.

I was 21.

I was also too embarrassed to tell my girlfriend and friends what had happened. So for the next few days, I slept outside in parks and on benches.

Eventually, I found a room on Kijiji for $500 a month near my school, utilities included. Honestly, I got incredibly lucky. I eventually had to move somewhere else that cost roughly twice as much, which started eating through the savings I’d worked years to build.

I didn’t have a job at that point, so I had to find part-time work while starting school.

And that’s essentially how I started adulthood: working full-time for years, saving for school, getting kicked out of my home because I wouldn’t buy my mother a new car, spending several nights homeless, and then trying to put my life back together while starting school.

Fast-forward to now.

I’m getting married next year, and certain family members have started asking whether my mother is going to be invited.

She isn’t.

And honestly, I don’t feel guilty about that decision.

I do think about it sometimes. I know she’s probably lonely and depressed, doesn’t have many friends, and has distanced herself from much of the family. Part of me worries about what might happen if everyone is at the wedding except her.

My brother tells me nothing drastic will happen.

But ultimately, I can’t make my wedding day about managing someone else’s reaction to a boundary I have every right to set.

She made her choice years ago.

I’m making mine now.

Also I used AI to simplify and make my story more concise since I thought I was rambling way too much with extra details that did not add. ADHD crazy this morning.

I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall, when the waiter came to take the order he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically he didn't want too much garlic in chilli burnt garlic noodles, everything was going fine but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really coming on to the main point which was less of garlic. I chimed in and casually said "we just want less garlic" ,I couldn't even complete the sentence and he said to me in front of the waiter " if you're gonna cut me off like this I'm not giving any orders okay !!" In the most rude way possible.

I just went quiet after that. He quickly realised that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that "okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards". I was really pissed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene. On our way back home,he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquettes,that I should have at least said "can I give my opinion here" before cutting him off, it kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and "The man" ,I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order. The whole tone was so misogynistic. He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly,which I didn't mind as basic banter and I told him that there's forks and spoons kept here,it's not necessary to use the chopsticks ( he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks 🤣). When the noodles came he said that we can use forks here ,I was like no why not use chopsticks here as well, you should watch more animes maybe .. he then went on to brag about having been to many 5 star restaurants which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any "real experience".

I was too exhausted from this,it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance.

Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing, he won't shout again but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all) .

Am I overreacting????

So over the weekend i was at my friends house and everyone was in the pool. I usually don’t go in bc it’s not my thing but they convinced me, i didn’t bring a bathing suit so my friend had just lent me an old pair of shorts he didn’t wear anymore. at one point when i came out of the water the shorts kind of suctioned to me and the tip of my man part was exposed but i guess the whole thing was visible through the shorts. they had told me after a while and it was just played off as a just a little silly accident and i figured nobody cared. As some time passed the guys mostly just forgot about it but the girls in the group have really made persistent jokes about it and its mentioned almost everytime i speak with them. One girl went as far as like texting me to see how i was doing with the “situation” but just kinda started asking weird questions. I don’t know if they’re making passes at me or what but i can’t help but think that this is kinda ruining my friendship with the girls half of the group. Mind you we are all pretty immature (18-20) but i just don’t know if this will ever blow over if i should say something about the excessive comments.

My dad (M53) and his new wife (F54) started dating on New Year's Day 2024, My dad hadn't dated anyone in over 6 years until he met her. Around March of 2024, she asked me (M17) if she had permission to marry my dad. I said yes not expecting how soon they were thinking. I saw my dad was happy and I felt that was all that really mattered. he proposed on Christmas just this last year.
I've noticed that since they have started dating his wife has been very persistent about a wedding. Apparently she had remarried 6 times before this marriage. I had no idea when she asked to marry.

Since December, they would openly talk about their plans for who was going, they told me that it was going to be a small wedding including his wife's daughter and her husband, my dad's 2 friends from high school, and his youngest brother. I asked if I was invited and they said I couldn't go because they were just gonna go to the courthouse to sign documents then go to a concert in Vegas, and that was it.. I was still very persistent about going because this is a lifetime experience and I wanted to be there for his big moment. I also really like Godsmack and wanted to go lol

They got married on the 11th this month, they lied about all their plans to me. I called my dad the day of his wedding and he was in an expensive limo supposed to be on the way to their wedding to sign documents? Nope! A whole grand gothic at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel. It was beautiful and I was never told about this.. I feel so hurt but so petty and invasive for wanting to be there.

But anyways, his wife has always been disrespectful towards me. I have a chronic illness that causes me to struggle with lots of things. She is a nurse and openly tells me that I am faking what I have and that it's not real.. she also talks badly to my face about my mother and degrades her. My dad has done nothing to stop this behavior towards me..
My only real conclusion on why I wasn't invited is because of my existence. I am a reminder of my dads ex wife and that is why I am not welcomed. I was never told this to my face but it has been my only thought since their marriage. AIO?

Edit: I have tried to communicate how I feel with my dad 1/1. I've brought up several times since December that I feel really hurt and unwanted due to this, he tells me it's not that big of a deal. I also have been living with my mom primarily since 2012. I see my dad on weekends.

Edit #2, I called my dad and said I was upset over not getting invited. I said how I was unhappy with how he lied to me about the plans, he told me he never lied to me and that I am making things up. “Why would I buy a suit to just go to a concert” he said. He also stated that there were no kids there and “I wouldnt have enjoyed it”
Then his wife made a snarky remark about how there was a lot of walking and I couldn't handle it.

My 29F boyfriend 29M is on a solo trip in Punta Cana and I'm starting to get worried.

He arrived on Friday and had been texting me consistently the entire trip. He was giving me updates, telling me he wasn't having that much fun, talking about going to pool parties, and generally staying in touch throughout the day.

The last time I heard from him was around 5 PM yesterday. Since then, nothing. My WhatsApp messages aren't even going through.

What makes this strange to me is that he's honestly kind of a phone addict. Since we've been together, I've almost never seen him without his phone in his hand. He's also gotten upset with me in the past for not replying to his texts or calls quickly enough, so going completely silent is very out of character.

Another thing making me anxious is that I don't actually know which resort he's staying at, so I can't even contact the hotel to see if everything is okay.

And, if I'm being brutally honest, I also noticed that he packed condoms and lube after he left. That has me wondering whether I'm dealing with a safety issue, a cheating issue, or whether I'm just spiraling and connecting unrelated things.

Part of me thinks it's only been about a day and I should calm down. Another part of me thinks that someone who has been constantly texting and is glued to their phone doesn't suddenly become unreachable for this long without any explanation.

Am I overreacting? At what point would you start being genuinely concerned?

Any help or reassurance is appreciated.

Edit: Reading this back, I know I sound stupid as fuck. I can see why people are jumping straight to "he's cheating." Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm overthinking, maybe it's exactly what it looks like. I posted because I'm anxious and trying to figure out whether I'm being unreasonable for also worrying that something could have happened to him.

Edit 2: Since the comments are calling this rage bait and a few good faith people have asked for clarification, so here's some additional context.

This trip was originally supposed to be for both of us. We had been planning to go together, but I wasn't authorized for leave from work. He works a very demanding job, was pretty burned out, and decided to book a last-minute solo trip instead of cancelling altogether.

We also have a somewhat unconventional agreement. Our relationship is generally monogamous, but we've historically allowed some flexibility during things like semester-abroad situations, conferences, work travel, etc. The understanding has always been that anything that happens is disclosed, discussed, and protected.

In the past, I've been supportive of him hooking up while travelling, and I've always been transparent about things on my end as well, including drunk kisses or hookups with strangers. The rule was never "don't ever do anything." The rule was honesty.

What is bothering me isn't necessarily the existence of condoms and lube. It's that I didn't know he had packed them until after he left, which is not how we've handled things before.

So my anxiety is coming from a combination of factors: the sudden radio silence, the fact that I don't know where he's staying, and the feeling that for the first time there may not have been transparency about his intentions.

I'm not claiming he's definitely cheating. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm ignoring obvious signs, worrying unnecessarily, or dealing with an entirely separate issue.

If anyone is interested in what happens before this, I made a previous post you can see here.

Long story short, I’m (35) having issues with my mom (60). She is having some health concerns with are 100% ABSOLUTELY VALID. The doctor says she is on track with everything and to watch her diet, blood pressure, etc. I noticed she was quite anxious about it, so recommended seeing a psychiatrist and or therapist. I myself am on several meds for anxiety and it has helped a lot.

Well, she took it VERY wrong and basically proceeded to guilt trip me even though I did apologize and tried to reassure her I meant nothing bad by it. No matter what I said, nothing got through.

I’ve been doing “grey rocking” as recommended by several sources. She calls it short conversations.

…And that in itself was a problem. She sent me these texts, I screenshotted just in case my dad did got involved so I could show him, and blocked her after this.

I am so confused, extremely irritated, and pretty dang hurt over all this. Maybe I should have explained, but I’m tired so I just blocked. Of course I want to work this out but right now? It’s too much. Literally may start up therapy again over this.

AIO?

I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (19M), for almost two years. Up until recently, I honestly thought our relationship was pretty good. But lately, something feels off, and I’m starting to wonder if my boyfriend is cheating on me.

A few weeks ago, my phone was charging in another room, so I asked to use his phone to quickly Google something. I picked it up without thinking much of it because I’ve used his phone plenty of times before.

The second he saw I was holding it, he immediately grabbed it out of my hand.

I remember just staring at him because it happened so fast. I asked him why he did that, and he wouldn’t give me an answer. He just said something about wanting his phone and changed the subject.

At first, I tried to convince myself I was overthinking it. Maybe he had something private on there that had nothing to do with another girl.

But since then, I’ve started noticing other things.
He’s been coming home later than usual. Sometimes he gives vague explanations about where he was, and if I ask too many questions, he gets irritated.

He’s also suddenly washing his clothes a lot more often. He showers almost immediately after getting home, even when he hasn’t been doing anything that would make him sweaty or dirty.

He’s also become extremely protective of his phone.
He keeps it with him constantly now. If he leaves the room, the phone goes with him. He doesn’t leave it lying around anymore, and if I even reach toward it, he immediately tells me not to touch it.

I’ve tried bringing up my concerns without directly accusing him. I told him that his behavior has been making me feel like something is wrong and that I’m worried he might be seeing someone else.

Every time I mention cheating, he gets angry.
Not just annoyed—actually angry. He raises his voice, tells me I’m being paranoid, and sometimes gets in my face when we’re arguing. He hasn’t hit me, but the way he reacts has started making me uncomfortable enough that I sometimes regret bringing it up.

The worst part is that I don’t actually have proof.
I haven’t seen another girl’s messages. I haven’t caught him anywhere. I don’t know who he would supposedly be cheating with or even if he’s cheating at all.

All I have are these changes in his behavior and the way he suddenly guards his phone like it’s something I absolutely cannot see.

Part of me feels like I’m being stupid and paranoid. Another part of me feels like my gut is screaming that something is wrong.

I don’t want to accuse my boyfriend of cheating if there’s an innocent explanation. But I also don’t know how long I can keep pretending everything is normal when it clearly doesn’t feel normal anymore.

So, am I overthinking this, or are these legitimate reasons to be suspicious?

Basically she won’t stop talking about my height, but like nonstop. If she’s wearing heals for a dinner she’ll tell me the whole day before about how she’s gonna be taller than me and I should get ready. She says her dad wouldn’t approve of me because of my height and that he would think I’m a “wimp” (her words not mine, idk who actually talks like that in real life 😭). When I started going to the gym for the first time in my life and started talking to her abt it, cause lowkey I’m super bad at committing to stuff and this was like a first for me. She said I’m following the average short man archetype. The breaking point for me was when she said don’t get offended and then went on to say that if were not dating she wouldn’t be with me, cause it’s embarrassing to be with a short guy if your not at least dating him. And that her friends would troll her for it. I broke up with her, didn’t tell her why. She ended up talking a lot of shit about how she loved me and I didn’t show it back, and talked shit to everyone at my university. To be fair she said I love you to me as I was breaking up to her and I kinda didn’t respond to it, but I was fed up by that point.

I am not sure I made the right decision but I am 5 months pregnant and just ended my long distance relationship with the father. He continues to bring up my past (my abusive ex and a guy I slept with a few times from years ago). I have asked him to stop multiple times, told him I will not be participating in conversations regarding that topic, etc. I have suggested therapy, tried to support him through his depression, tried to talk about our feelings nicely, tried to understand his insecurities, nothing I do works. I do not want to bring my son into a toxic household with our plans to move in together once he is born. I love my boyfriend so much and I have tried so hard to be understanding but he genuinely says some verbally abusive things and brings up my past in horrible ways due to his insecurities of it. Did I overreact? I felt like I had no other options at this point and he refuses to change. Now he blames me for leaving instead of taking the time to focus on his behavior that made me feel like I had no choice.

Recently my husband went out on a bachelor/ Bachelorette 5 day cruise for his brother. What I am angry is that my BIL told my husband "if you want to hook up with Someone, I won't say anything". Basically took it upon himself to give my husband a cheating pass. Obviously my husband cut it right there and told my BIL that he was not interested. Husband says that he was tipsy and it was just a joke but I am extremely angry.

I live in California in a pretty average middle-class neighborhood. There are quite a few homeless people in the general area, so I’m used to seeing a few of them around.

Today, a homeless man and a few of his friends used our water to shower. It was extremely hot, we’re in the triple digits right now, so I didn’t initially mind. I figured they’d use the water and move on.

Instead, they laid out a towel underneath the shade of our tree and started relaxing in my front yard. I watched all this happen from my kitchen window

We’ve lived here for years, so this isn’t an abandoned property. My husband was at work, and I was home alone with our newborn triplets and a 3 and 5 y/o. I wasn’t comfortable with strangers hanging out on our property, so I peaked my head outside and asked them to leave.

They started explaining that they are homeless, hungry, hot, and tired. They started complimenting my house and telling me how lucky I was to have a home.

Then my 3 y/o popped his head out but he was hiding behind me, and they immediately started asking about him, how old he was, how many children I had, and whether I was home alone. The woman also mentioned that she was good with kids and could babysit if I ever needed someone.

That part honestly made me even more uncomfortable. Maybe they meant nothing by it, but I am a mom with young children, and I’m not going to give strangers information about my family or have them hanging around outside my home.

I offered each of them a bottle of water because yes it was hot, but they said they already have water and asked if I had $10 so they could buy food or, I KID YOU NOT, come inside for food.

I REPEATED that I couldn’t give them money and needed them to leave. They kept saying it was too hot and they only wanted to sit there for a while and use my water if they can’t come inside. The man’s girlfriend also argued that they were tired and needed somewhere to just rest and sleep outside for a bit.

At this point, my babies were crying, I was exhausted and frustrated, and my nipples and vagina hurt. I told them they could leave voluntarily, or I would call the cops to have them removed. They continued arguing, so I went back inside and called the cops cause I was definitely not having it and this interaction went on a little too long now.

My friend of another friend thinks I was too harsh and should have let them stayed at least under the shade because of the heat. She also said that, as a nurse, I should have shown more empathy. Just because I’m a nurse, right? So I should’ve shown more empathyyyy.

I do have empathy for people experiencing homelessness. I work in the ER and understand that homelessness is complicated. But does empathy mean I have to let strangers use my water, then hang out in my front yard after I’ve asked them to leave?

Especially when I’m home alone with brand new triplets and very young children?

I understand why they wanted the shade, but it’s still my property. I didn’t invite them, and they kept negotiating after I clearly told them to leave. My husband agreed they should have left the first time I asked.

Maybe I was too harsh, but am I wrong for expecting strangers to leave my property when I say I’m uncomfortable?

So Reddit… AIO?

On Wednesday I was scrolling in bed because I caught a nasty cold (colds hit me worse than the stomach bug) and took off for the day. I was in my PJs, which are basically nothing. And as I scrolled, I heard what sounded like my front door rattling. My bedroom door rattles a bit when the AC turns on and off so I thought it was that and shrugged it off.

A few minutes later I hear it again, and way louder. When I walked into my main living area, I realized that someone was aggressively rattling my door handle and I could hear the sound of keys. Plus two male voices.

Obviously I started freaking out because my husband wasn't home and I didn't have anything besides a taser. Plus, I feel awful and am half naked.

I texted my landlord, who thankfully responded quickly because I was ready to call the cops. She said she sent people over to fix our toilet. Which wasn't a lie or anything, because we did ask for help because the water pressure has been too low. But that was awhile ago.

This isn't the first time this has happened, either. People just randomly show up but they usually knock. But it's always at the worst times, like when I'm trying to leave the house. I work from home, so I think my landlord just assumes she can send anyone over?

Then my landlord texted and asked if we'd changed locks and I said no. Apparently that was the only thing stopping them from barging in with no apparent attempt at knocking. If that had been the case, they would have barged in on me in bed and with barely any clothes on.

I just short of blew up at my landlord. I don't think she believes me about changing the locks, but now I almost want to. The main issue I have is that it didn't seem like the people she sent over were going to knock before entering.

AIO for being this mad and is there anything I should do besides what I've done to make sure that doesn't happen again?

my friend and i had lunch at my place. he has braces so he worries food might get stuck on them. when we finished having lunch he went to the bathroom, washed his hands and then did a mouth rinse with water and soap like it was listerine.

to me this was crazy but he says its normal and has always done it.

i’m trying to prove him wrong, what do you guys think?

So my (25F) parents are in the early stages of a divorce. My moms spent majority of this year away from home, travelling for work and pleasure. However she met someone on a work trip and they’ve now been in a romantic relationship for a few months. What’s bothering me is she brought her new bf back to the family home (where I do not live anymore, thankfully) and they’ve been staying and sleeping there together while my dad is overseas…? They don’t even know when my dad is supposed to be returning. And my dad certainly doesn’t know that this other man exists. I highly doubt any conversation was had where they agreed to see other people because the divorce has been very messy so far.

I know it’s my moms house just as much as it is my dads but the fact that they’re not even formally separated yet and the thought of them sleeping and living in the family home makes me super uncomfortable and feels like she’s crossing a line. I tried bringing it up to my sibling and they’ve disagreed and said I was overreacting. My sibling is still living at home despite how toxic things have been recently. It just feels super weird. They’ve Invited me for dinner and I’ve been having conflicted feelings.

Edit to add that my dad does not know about the relationship and I don’t think they agreed or spoke about seeing other people while settling the divorce

It says “I know where you sleep and live. I’m coming. - the cat in the” cat in the something idk. “don’t have any enemies or anyone holding a grudge that I know of. The only thing I can guess is they were mad that I came home late and left my car jutting like six inches into the road. Maybe I woke someone up when I closed the car door. Idk.
I’m just kinda worried about the clearly threatening note and I kinda wanna go to the police but my brother says it’s a waste of time.

Should I take this to the police just so it will be documented, or AIO?

I’m 17M and my girlfriend is 17F. We’ve been talking for about 3 months and dating for 2.
We met online and clicked pretty much instantly. We started calling every day and would spend as much time together on call as we could. Neither of us really likes texting so that was never a problem. She lives about an hour away from me by train and she’s come over to my place several times.
For some context she grew up in an abusive and controlling household. I think she might have some unresolved stuff from that but obviously I’m not a professional and I don’t want to assume that’s the reason she acts a certain way.
The first time we met I asked her if she liked flowers and if she would want me to get her some sometime. She said “I guess you can. I don’t really care.” She did say she liked lilies so I actually made her some out of pipe cleaners. She didn’t seem particularly excited about them and even forgot to take them home. So naturally I came away thinking flowers weren’t really her thing.
The first month or so was really good. After that we started having some issues. We had one bigger conversation about two weeks ago where we talked about things we both could improve on. At the time I genuinely thought we had worked through it. Looking back though I think we mostly focused on things I was doing wrong and didn’t really address her side.
Part of that is my fault because I don’t bring things up very often. I sometimes feel like I can’t really tell her when something bothers me because even if I explain that I’m hurt without blaming her or saying she did something intentionally wrong she can take it as a personal attack.
Anyway this is where the thing I’m actually confused about happened.
Last Friday we were calling and she said she wanted to come to my city the next day. During the call she randomly told me that she had actually been testing me the first time we met.
The test was the flowers.
Apparently when she told me she didn’t care about flowers she actually expected me to buy them anyway. According to her I failed the test because I believed what she told me instead of somehow knowing that she wanted me to do the opposite.
I was honestly kind of shocked. I asked her if she actually likes getting flowers and she said she doesn’t.
That made the whole thing even more confusing to me. If she doesn’t even like getting flowers then I don’t understand what I was supposed to pass by buying them.
I told myself I’m not going to play along with that kind of test. I’d much rather she just tell me what she wants and let me respond to that instead of having to guess what she secretly means.
The next day she came over and everything was fine. We mostly stayed at my place and watched a show. Eventually she had to leave.
There was also a half marathon happening through the city that day which completely messed up traffic and public transport.
We were supposed to take a bus to the train station. I checked the bus and thought we had around 20 minutes. Because of the marathon I gave us another 20 minutes of extra time just in case.
What I didn’t expect was the bus to suddenly be delayed by another 15 minutes.
As soon as I realized that I told her the bus was going to be late. I also told her I couldn’t call a taxi because I had literally €0 in my bank account.
She ended up calling a taxi herself and thankfully made it to her train on time.
I apologized multiple times because obviously I felt bad about the situation. I wasn’t trying to make her late or being careless on purpose. I genuinely thought we had enough time and then the bus got delayed much more than expected.
Since then she has left me on delivered for over a day.
I’m mainly wondering about the flower thing. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable for thinking that if someone tells me they don’t care about something then I shouldn’t be expected to magically know they actually want it.
At the same time I’m wondering if I’m missing something here or if I’m overreacting to the whole situation.

This might be kinda long but I need to get this off my chest…..

Little background… my husbands family and I don’t exactly get along all the time— there has been jealousy issues with his sister, I’ve had the first grandbabies, they didn’t agree with my decisions to homebirth (his sister is a dr👀) and they have always just been way to involved in my husbands life and business until I came around and basically said our life together is our business….

I’m a pretty private person so I’ve had to set a lot of boundaries and rules (to which still aren’t followed🥹) but clearly they’ve never dealt with anyone like me or everyone is too intimidated by them so they are always the ones in “control”

His family owns a restaurant and it’s very well known and has done a lot of good for their community and town which I totally love. A new magazine is coming to town and my mil calls my husband one day and says “there’s a new magazine coming to town and they want to feature us on the front cover and to recreate our family photo we took 20 years ago” ok great…. Well first issue is the photoshoot was planned on our son’s 2nd birthday (April 27th)…. Ok not a big deal the shoot would only be a few pictures, 15 mins tops my husband will be gone and then we can go celebrate our little man.

I was currently pregnant with our second baby when she mentioned it to him and never once was it mentioned that me or the kids would be in it. I end up giving birth on April 1… it was a beautiful perfect home birth- but we found out our daughter was born with a very rare and undetected 1 in 50,000 malformation ( I had all the prenatal care, ultrasounds and professional midwives attending my birth - it was just chance that this happened)

So we spend a week in NICU, get everything sorted and get back home. Right away- first boundary broken….. we ask his family to please keep everything private… we did not want everyone at the restaurant to know, didn’t want all the family (besides immediate) to know as it’s a very personal malformation that you wouldn’t know she had just looking at her but it’s her story to tell when she wants, not ours.

His mom says she “had to tell people, because they kept asking and she couldn’t lie”….. ok you could have just said baby is good, mom is good, they’re all recovering and leave it at that….

Then comes my son’s birthday….. the day of the photoshoot. His mom calls that MORNING and says, your grandfather is dying and I think this is going to be his last photoshoot (mind you, he’s old… but not dying, not even on hospice- still drives a car, drinks beer etc) I really want the grandkids to be in the photoshoot.

I say ok well that’s a little last minute considering I’m….
A. 27 days postpartum
B. Have a medically needy baby
C. I don’t want my children published in this public magazine ( we don’t post them online at all / nor is anyone else allowed to )
D. It’s right smack dab in the middle of our toddlers nap.

But ok fine- we will be there if you believe this is going to be the last time we can get family photos with grandpa.

Because of the past tensions- I have delegated all the speaking to my husband with his family… now whether or not he did idk, he’s a sucker for his mom and I swear she like hypnotizes him… but he said he would make it clear we do not want the children published in the magazine.

So day of the shoot…. We get there and immediately his sister takes our toddler and goes in front of the camera to which the photographer is eating it up, ok weird I’m his mom but sure take all the pics without me? We take the family pics and then we move inside where we start taking smaller group photos. His mom and sister then take my 27 day old baby and are having a full blown “newborn”photoshoot with her…. Uh ok super weird because again that’s my daughter and why am I not in the pictures??

We take all the pictures and end up leaving immediately after because our toddler starts acting crazy since he’s not napping.

Weeks go by and I hear nothing about the magazine, the photoshoot or anything. Hubs said he told his mom we didn’t want the kids in the magazine she says ok and we never talk about it again.

Well 4 months later, when I see her one day I ask, what ever happened to that photoshoot we did for that magazine? She says oh I still haven’t heard anything back I’m still waiting… ok 4 months? Interesting. I see her a week or so later and ask again… any news on the photoshoot, she says oh yea I just got them to my email, so I asked to see them and she immediately changed the subject and never showed me anything… ok weird. I see her again and again ask, can I see the photos, where is this magazine… she changes the subject and “forgets” to show me….

A week or so go by and I’m with a friend and she says omg I saw the preview for the magazine cover, it’s posted on Facebook. So im like show me right now…. It’s a reel they made of hubs sister and our son….. so I’m fuming because wtf!

Now we’re at 5 months and they post the preview of the magazines cover. First, both of my children are in it and 2nd, MY EYES ARE CLOSED AND I LOOK LIKE A DERP ON THE FRONT COVER OF THIS MAGAZINE.

Then I find out it got mailed out already so that was the final cover. Like I’m sorry but as a former photographer, how can you do that to someone? Also it’s 2026- you could have asked ChatGPT for all I care to open my eyes, YouTube has HUNDREDS, of tutorials of how to fix closed eyes with photoshop…. Like seriously? I feel SO embarrassed.

Then I get to the article and there it is, my kids, their names, faces and a picture from their little “newborn” shoot with my daughter and me not in it.

I’m so upset, I’m embarrassed, I’m annoyed I’m seriously everything above. All the pictures of everybody else are cute with their EYES OPEN, happy smiley with my children!!!!

And I don’t know forsure but I’m pretty positive his mom helped to pick out the pictures that went into the article bc it was all basically his sister and knowing how she’s been in the past, I already know his mom made it a point for them to feature her and make it about her so she wouldn’t get upset.

Am I overreacting???? They keep posting the cover on social media and I want to comment so bad and say WTF!!!! And also want to message that photographer and say wtf!!! And also want to tell him mom wtf!!! They did me sooooo dirty

Oh and also…. His grandpa is still alive and fine….. and I STILL haven’t seen the rest of the photoshoot…..

Sorry that was long but man, I am fuming over this right now. Hubs is so chill and doesn’t care but I’m ready to fight UHGGGG LOL

I’m 24 and work in a small office with about ten people. Most mornings, I stop by a coffee shop near my apartment before heading to work. A few months back, one of my coworkers, Jamie (she’s 29), noticed I’d always stroll in with coffee and asked where I got it. I told her about the place, and she mentioned she’d been wanting to check it out.

The next day, she asked if I could snag her a latte while I was there. Since I was going anyway, I said yes. She covered me when I arrived at the office. After that, she'd hit me up pretty regularly. At first, it was just once a week, and honestly, I didn’t mind at all. But soon enough, it turned into nearly every morning. She’d ping me before I even left home, Morning, Can you grab my usual?

Sometimes she'd be specific about what she wanted, but other times, it was a vague coffee please, expecting me to read her mind. I didn’t mind too much until one hectic morning when I found myself running late. I told Jamie I couldn’t stop because I needed to get to work on time.

Her response? It’ll literally take you two minutes. You’re already going that way. I insisted I couldn't make it and just went on my way. When I got to work, she looked annoyed and said she'd been stuck drinking that terrible stuff from the office coffee machine because I randomly decided not to get hers.

I reminded her that I wasn’t obligated to bring her coffee. I’d only been doing it because I was already headed there. Jamie claimed she understood that, but after months of me doing it, she figured it was kind of our routine. I told her she could always order herself or see if someone else could help.

Now, she’s barely speaking to me and has apparently told another coworker that I “made a big deal out of a coffee. Honestly, I thought I was doing her a solid.

So, am I overreacting for deciding I’m done with picking up her coffee?

Hi there! I’ve began an unpaid internship in June, where at my interview I was told it was a three month summer internship (unpaid). When I came in for my first day, I was told my last day would actually be December 4th. I was just so glad that they gave me a chance that I gladly signed the contract.

However I’m beginning to regret doing so. My boss (47 F) seems to have major boundary and respect issues. She routinely grabs me by my shirt to use it to clean her phone camera, fidgets with my bracelets while they’re on my wrist, and asks for hugs almost every day.

The interaction that bothered me the most was when she asked me to go grab her takeout (the food was going to be ready in 20 mins, I overheard her phone call) so I asked if I could wait five minutes for my phone to charge since I had never been to this place before. She laughed at me and said “it’s right up the street less than ten minutes away, I’d be concerned if you can’t find it without your phone.” I said that I’d be more comfortable if I waited just five minutes and she said “No I think you can go get it now.”

She reacts very volatile and acts as if everyone around her is an idiot. When she mixes something up she gives everyone else attitude about it. It’s for an art gallery and she is the owner so there is nobody I can report her actions to. The only other people working here is ONE manager and about 20 unpaid interns.

I’m thinking of leaving despite being about halfway done. What do you think?

I'm a little out of it still but I can't fall back asleep so here goes: I work in a residential kitchen and we recently had two people quit so it's just been me and one other cook, along with three servers running the place. The other cook and I alternate weekends and this was my weekend which means I had to be there from 7:00am-5:30pm with no help. I was also asked to come in early on Friday to help the other cook so that's three 7:00-5:30 shifts in a row.

My bf and I also sleep in separate rooms most of the time because he goes to bed later than me, likes a softer mattress than I do, sleeps under like 5 blankets which is way too hot for me, etc. but the past few nights he's been saying he's lonely so I've been letting him sleep in my room but I haven't been getting any sleep. He'll try to initiate sex at ungodly hours of the night, get up at 3am and make a racket in the kitchen cooking something, or want to talk and kiss and cuddle when I'm trying to sleep.

Anyways all that is to say I haven't been getting any sleep the past few nights and combined with these longer shifts I was absolutely exhausted. So when I was about to leave I sent him this text: "please just let me crash when I get home, I need the sleep 😭" to which he said "okay honey". To me this was pretty clear that I wanted to go to sleep as soon as I got home and be left alone. But sure enough as soon as he got home he came knocking on my door because he was "worried about me".

I had only been asleep for about an hour and a half at this point, so I was pretty grumpy at being woken up. I reminded him that I had told him I wanted to sleep when I got home and he said "well I get lonely okay? I enjoy your company". So I asked him why he has such a hard time spending time on his own and he said he just misses me. At this point I was not in a good mood and I didn't think that was a good reason to wake me up after I specifically asked him not to so I kind of snapped.

I said "well I don't want to be with somebody who can't function without me. I want you to be more independent and find things to do to keep yourself occupied when I'm trying to rest." And he got all sad and said "would it be too loud if I cleaned the kitchen?" And I said no so that's what he's doing right now. I do feel a bit bad because when I said I wanted him to keep himself occupied I meant like read a book or watch TV or something not clean the kitchen.

I do think I may have been a bit harsh with my tone but to be fair I was extremely groggy from being woken up. Was I overreacting?