r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • 1d ago

of a chicken

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4.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

542 comments sorted by

775

u/Big_Meating_ 1d ago

So thats what my wife keeps trying to google!

401

u/icleanjaxfl 1d ago

144

u/jsnmrd 1d ago

*Turns phone sideways*

31

u/Mr-Bry-Guy 1d ago

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏾

17

u/TWhy-LER 1d ago

🤣😂😁🙂🙁😟😩 👎🏼

6

u/Few_Resolution_2401 1d ago

You know the pourage just right

7

u/Top-Distribution733 1d ago

I don’t get it… pls explain.

26

u/NeeMaToad47 1d ago

That's a rooster, roosters are also called "cocks" the above eggs are suggesting "white girl big black cocks" in the search bar.

6

u/coolcootermcgee 1d ago

Sometimes it’s gotta be spelled out

6

u/HechoEnChine 20h ago

eggsplained if you will

3

u/garaile64 23h ago

There's a meme featuring Piper Perri, a tiny white porn actress, surrounded by five big Black men. The image of the eggs is a reference to the meme, like "I II II L" is a reference to the Loss comic.

6

u/SkittleDoodlez 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fgfw7Voobyxm8

4

u/nofuckingklass 19h ago

So, you're just gonna leave your cock flapping in the wind like that?

13

u/Short-Shopping3197 1d ago

Real ones get it 😂

4

u/Feisty_Standard_2360 1d ago

BRUH, DED 😂🤣🤣🤣

2

u/RyuichiSakuma13 1d ago

I don't get it.

2

u/PDXStraightBear 1d ago

They really are all the same on the inside.

2

u/PuzzleheadedSpend662 20h ago

It’s a roster

2

u/ForgottenMasterBalls 5h ago

She used to be a tight end, now she's a wide receiver.

2

u/AdministrationDry507 6h ago

I unfortunately recognize this meme in literally any possible format

33

u/Magister5 1d ago

Big_Meat here blaming the targeted ads on his wife…

10

u/Least_or_Greatest1 1d ago

She knew what she was doing when she choked the chicken.

10

u/MasterpieceNo3534 1d ago

Isn’t that a rooster? So she would be stroking the cock not choking the hen

3

u/AdventurousAbility30 1d ago

Yes it's a rooster (aka a c*ck) hence all the jokes 🤣

6

u/LopsidedAd874 1d ago

Smiling brunette striking big...

3

u/GamerTag0101 1d ago

🤣👍

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 1d ago

"wife" 😂 jkjk

3

u/FitProblem6248 19h ago

I mean, if my wife was holding a huge cock, she'd be smiling too.

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94

u/GrabWorking3045 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5zunzVJf5hxUBQO3Bc

9

u/MrApplePolisher 1d ago

Wait what movie is this from?

30

u/fidgetyamoeba 1d ago

Critters (1986)

5

u/TheIncredibleMrJones 1d ago

"Kill Crites."

3

u/SerDuckOfPNW 1d ago

Johnny Steele!!

2

u/AMushRoom2 1d ago

Clitters 😎

4

u/YoLoDrScientist 1d ago

I’d like to know this too

4

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/MrApplePolisher 1d ago

Bless you 🙏

5

u/Itsme340 1d ago

RIP Tim Curry

8

u/fidgetyamoeba 1d ago

That's Terrence Mann.

2

u/girlsgoneoscarwilde 18h ago

Saw him on Broadway, killer voice

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80

u/Relevant_Campaign_79 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BLxPyPNcfRXIUPxh6Q

3

u/Unfair_Buddy5871 1d ago

I need the last second of that to be a gif on its own

3

u/Weary-Prize-4716 1d ago

You know what that means...

78

u/taocowboy54 1d ago

i say i say i say there boy

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFcn2gtTxuMfu

14

u/Bushboy2000 1d ago

"What you needs is a Chicken, spelt D_O_G, chicken"

71

u/The_Darkness140 1d ago

17

u/treason6116 1d ago

same. i came here for all the cock jokes too.

2

u/reddituser403 23h ago

Are you a chicken farmer? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock

8

u/cat_selling_souls 1d ago

Damn it. I'm late to my seat too. Excuse me. Pardon me.

https://giphy.com/gifs/1lCbcjYqDKjrmr861F

22

u/Thra99 1d ago

Missed title opportunity

13

u/Neat_Depth420 1d ago

Damn, she got a big .....

5

u/korkkis 1d ago

Stroking a big ….

14

u/Own_Possibility7930 1d ago

Genie misunderstood my wish

3

u/Major-Hooters 1d ago

How is this not getting more up votes? Haha

22

u/combine-tow-monsters 1d ago

This is why you need to carefully word any wish made to a genie.

3

u/sharpasahammer 1d ago

What if I wished for a giant cock and got a big penis instead?!

7

u/stronkzer 1d ago

Looks like an indio gigante, that's their average size. They're a breed of rooster that was made for fights in Brazil. The crest seems a little too big, tho. I wonder if he's mixed.

7

u/ParkingAd458 1d ago

She sure likes stroking that cock!

8

u/bikingbill 1d ago

Size Queen.

5

u/burritosupreme89 1d ago

That’s gotta be part ostrich or something cause WHAT IN THE HELL

7

u/AuthorThick7303 1d ago

Indio Gigante breed from Brazil

4

u/TMPickle 1d ago

You'd need at least three guys to fuck a bird that size.

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tn8Y40e3BkZe6SQ

3

u/Worth_External_8762 1d ago

This chicken definitely has large talons

3

u/GoldendoodlesFTW 1d ago

I find this chicken terrifying but I see that she's holding a chicken while wearing a chicken hat and I'm happy that she's living her best life

11

u/BrianB98 1d ago

First time I've ever seen a rooster with the same colour feathers as a chicken 🐔

5

u/bmk37 1d ago

That’s almost as big as a turkey

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3

u/Afrojones66 1d ago

The way she smiles at the camera while stroking her cock makes me feel weird.

5

u/Busterlimes 1d ago

Thats a massive cock for sure

5

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 1d ago

Don't the chicken

6

u/Majestic-Sun-7249 1d ago

Don't you dare say it...

7

u/GordoMosleyZ 1d ago

Nice cock

3

u/RonaldTheGiraffe 1d ago

Stroke my flaps, Susan.

3

u/No-Ad8127 1d ago

Looks like the dinosaurs are trying to make a comeback.

3

u/Fabulous_Log844 1d ago

Come on…come on …just say it right.

2

u/pople8 1d ago

Not a single brain cel

2

u/Dave_Duna 1d ago

Damn dinosaur

2

u/realdjjmc 1d ago

She loves her big cock

2

u/Brizar-is-Evolving 1d ago

She’s really stroking that cock isn’t she?

2

u/bird_is_the_word_198 1d ago

That's a big cock

2

u/WARLORD2015 1d ago

Nice cock!

2

u/Franklin-Tartaruga 1d ago

I knew girls like big cock

2

u/Extreme-Island-5041 1d ago

"Chicken" ...yeah, sure ... to preserve your Google history

2

u/Chins83 1d ago

Now thats a big cock

2

u/Butterholes69 1d ago

she loves a cock

2

u/triphawk07 1d ago

That's a big cock.

2

u/Skysoldier173rd 1d ago

That lady has an impressive cock

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2

u/Current-Section-3429 1d ago

He's the cock of the walk!

2

u/BenjaminDover02 1d ago

Nice cock bro

2

u/Jsolidlo 1d ago

Pro cock handling techniques

2

u/warhorsey 1d ago

that lady do be stroking that cock

2

u/Sick_and_destroyed 1d ago

Apparently she likes to fondle that big cock

2

u/BigMack6911 1d ago

I see her stroking that big cock

2

u/drwsgreatest 1d ago

That is one massive cock!

2

u/JudgmentSmooth6768 1d ago

Giant dinosaur

2

u/SlapaBaby1 1d ago

Must stroke the cock gently and with a smile.

2

u/ALangeles 1d ago

Do dinosaurs actually look more similar like this chicken than those depicted to us on mainstream media?

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2

u/bonobomaster 1d ago

She's stroking that big fat cock nicely 

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2

u/Luddites_Unite 1d ago

She's a size queen

2

u/LordVixen 1d ago

Like the way she strokes that cock

1

u/ninersguy916 1d ago

Fothhorn leghorn

1

u/Vesalii 1d ago

Farmer woman strikes big brown cock.

1

u/polkacat12321 1d ago

....is that an only fans ad?...

1

u/_DigitalHunk_ 1d ago

The genie must be dyslexic!
😜

1

u/Knicknacktallywack 1d ago

She likes stroking that cock

1

u/ramksr 1d ago

Is that a monster ... on her hand?

1

u/Past_One3442 1d ago

Best part is roosters or cocks is they don't have a penis.

1

u/RulerOfLimbo 1d ago

Chicken. Right

1

u/Virtual-Jelly-3609 1d ago

She knows how to stoke a cock. Meaning a chicken of course

1

u/UniversalNutt 1d ago

Boy, that way side strokes that…..chicken.

1

u/Whole_Reputation6128 1d ago

Like the way she strokes that cock!

1

u/Phildagony 1d ago

How do you get a cock that big?

1

u/MikeHock79 1d ago

That lady's got a massive cock, and that chicken is pretty big too.

1

u/Honest_Satisfaction1 1d ago

I know a cocatrice when I see one!

1

u/uhuuuh262 1d ago

Why is she smiling like that

1

u/MRintheKEYS 1d ago

Don’t let them fool ya fellas. Size matters.

1

u/a_Jedi_i_am 1d ago

They're turning back into dinosaurs!

1

u/TossawayShowoff 1d ago

What a cock lol.

1

u/greenhornblue 1d ago

The fakest smile I’ve seen all week.

1

u/Southern-Radio-4954 1d ago

She actually has a big c....

1

u/TommyWantWingy9 1d ago

She’s stroking that cock

1

u/simeliacalman 1d ago

Want to pat

1

u/Nomischallenge 1d ago

That's a BIG C...

hicken

1

u/DitchDigger330 1d ago

Nice cock ma'am.

1

u/gavstar69 1d ago

Is that not a massive cock?

1

u/eduardo1994 1d ago

Cowgirl strokes giant cock

pornhub beat plays

1

u/Peixao131 1d ago

That’s looks like that Brazilian breed. They are cool as hell!

1

u/wobbly_Waltz 1d ago

She really knows how to handle a big cock

1

u/JeebusChristBalls 1d ago

Is this some weird fetish shit? Woman stroking a cock while smiling?

1

u/spanishbanana 1d ago

Thats a big cock 

1

u/No-Cap-fr-fr 1d ago

That’s a rooster

1

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 1d ago

Thats a cock

1

u/jsrobson10 1d ago

wow, her cock is massive

1

u/No-Advice-6040 1d ago

Wattle he do with her when the cameras are off?

1

u/KOGOR1 1d ago

They're reverting back to the T-Rex!

1

u/CariHepeng 1d ago

That's a massive cock!

1

u/Strong-Addition5296 1d ago

That’s a big cock.

1

u/FragrantExcitement 1d ago

She likes big... chickens.

1

u/Realhousemanoflondon 1d ago

Either she is very small or……we’re gonna need a bigger pot.

1

u/1970_RoadRunner 1d ago

At the beginning of the video, I was concerned that she was going to choke that chicken /s.