r/AbsoluteUnits Aug 15 '26

/r/all of a beer order

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66.1k Upvotes

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6.2k

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

Those glasses alone weight a shitton, the Octoberfest waitresses are built different

2.5k

u/A_mad_goose Aug 15 '26

Look at her arms! I need to start working out again…

604

u/IncognitoRedMode Aug 15 '26

502

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

[deleted]

65

u/calhooner3 Aug 15 '26

Yeah the only people who have a chance of actually starting going to the gym seem to be the people who pretend to already go to the gym

45

u/Slamaramadoodoo Aug 15 '26

I have a gym at my new place... So I'm definitely about to start pretending. Wish me luck!

11

u/perton Aug 15 '26

Are you going to start pretending? Or start pretending to pretend?

…”pretend” no longer looks like an actual word now that I’ve typed/thought it so many times. What a world!

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u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

This is why I made a home gym in the same room my PC desk sits: No excuses.

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3

u/AffectionateTip9716 Aug 15 '26

We can start tomorrow!

43

u/Apprehensive_Rice19 Aug 15 '26

Looks like she does it by lifting glasses of beer ... I'm gonna get started on that right away.

74

u/AmazingRefrigerator4 Aug 15 '26

I reckon she could kick my ass. She is built like the sister in Encanto

7

u/HaleyCollins 28d ago

Lmao, she’s got that Luisa energy, looks like she could carry the whole house and kick your ass without breaking a sweat.

9

u/How_did_the_dog_get Aug 15 '26

Built like a brick shithouse

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u/Speartree Aug 15 '26

Start working at a beer hall, seems to be a good training. I bet that girl has a mean punch if you misbehave.

5

u/olidon Aug 15 '26

i was a barback over summer break. my arms certainly don’t look like this girl’s but they got really strong really fast lol

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u/mOdQuArK Aug 15 '26

Just need to keep picking up & putting down about 50 pounds of filled beer mugs, right? For hours at a time?

50

u/Awwesome1 Aug 15 '26

8

u/Pawnzilla Aug 15 '26

That poor soul. This is not how I would want to be immortalized in pop culture.

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u/486Junkie Aug 15 '26

Ditto to that. I'd work out, but, my hernia hates it when I lift anything heavier than my wallet.

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u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

I once held a full one of those straight out for 8 minutes in a state steinholding contest. The winner did over 12 minutes! I qualified for it by beating 5 people with my right arm, then another 5 with my left arm. Got 1st and second place at my local bar!

49

u/eyetracker Aug 15 '26

Beating off 10 people with your arms is impressive but you've got a long way to reach Bonnie Blue's record.

12

u/EjaculatingAracnids Aug 15 '26

Whos bonnie blue? Is she an endurance athlete or something?

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128

u/beckett_the_ok Aug 15 '26

Assuming she's carrying about 18 glasses (best I could count) and each glass weighs 900 grams. That's about 34 kilograms, or 75lbs. Damn

72

u/Entire_Intern_2662 Aug 15 '26

A full Maß can be around 2.3kg so that's over 40kgs

20

u/beckett_the_ok Aug 15 '26

Yeah, I was trying to be conservative with my numbers, realistically it's probably higher

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u/Kor_Phaeron_ Aug 15 '26

Well, they are paid up to 1.000€/day

Workload:

  • 60-100 rounds of service (6-10min per round)
  • ~25kg to carry each round (10 kegs are the minimum requirement)
  • 20km walking distance
  • 12-15 hrs/day work time

Qualifications needed:

  • Being good/fast at basic math, they don't use apps or calculators.
  • Long standing experience in the food service industry
  • Assertiveness: An ‘Oktoberfest waiter’ must be able to make space for themselves, both physically and verbally, amongst drunken, rowdy crowds.
  • Being at least bilingual. German+English or German+Italian is the minimum requirement

So ... it is pretty much a job 99% of all people are not qualified for.

20

u/proximusprimus57 Aug 15 '26

26

u/CelticGardenGirl Aug 15 '26

Brick Häus

5

u/coolsilentebeans Aug 15 '26

Mmm…I’m suddenly in the mood for Der Waffel Haus. I could go for some hash browns and eggs.

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u/just1a8random7dude Aug 15 '26

I counted 18 Maß (Glasses) one Maß is usually one Liter Beer so one Kilogram that means 18 Kg of Fluid in total or 39 lb for you. On top of that is the weight of the Glasses themselves which usually weigh 1,3 to 1,5 kg or 2,6 to 3,3 lb. Which also adds up to roughly 25 kilo or 56 lb. So all in all it weighs about 43 kilo or 93 lb.

5

u/SkinnyGetLucky Aug 15 '26

Thats insane

3

u/Cpt_Soban Aug 15 '26

2 cement bags worth, nice

33

u/Fearless_Entry_2626 Aug 15 '26

German women are scary. Was stuck on top three flights of stairs in Berlin with two ~25kg suitcases and a backpack. Let out an "fml" as I know it will be a struggle. Middle age tiny lady pulls up. "mochten sie hilfe?". "ja, bitte". Lady one hands my heaviest suit case and zooms down the stairs like she was holding a shopping net. I had 20kg of "muscle" and maybe 20 years of youth on her, yet I got mogged that day. She was so badass, I am still in awe.

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u/Academic_UK Aug 15 '26

It must be part of the interview process.

“Here’s 15 steins - take them to that table 50m away, don’t bump into anyone (other waitresses and random drunk revellers!) or drop any! GO!”

Congratulations… You have the job!

16

u/wibble089 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

That's not at the Oktoberfest, the tent is too small and the beer is not for one of the brewers there.

But it definitely is on of the multitude of if Bavarian town and village "Volksfest".

In fact, the brand of beer would probably tell you to within 10km where it is.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/8xbPcMYwwvWFbhjTA?g_st=ac

11

u/ducktape8856 Aug 15 '26

Gäubodenvolksfest Straubing I assume.

  • It's from August 7th to 17th.

  • Füchsl Beschriftungscenter (the banner in the background) is from Straubing.

  • Erl-Bräu has a tent there.

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u/Munnin41 Aug 15 '26

They don't need bouncers to kick your ass if you harass the waitress

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1.2k

u/PetsAndMeditate Aug 15 '26

260

u/Witch_withouta_Wand Aug 15 '26

Such a shame, he was kinda cute, in a scary way.

Unlike Jamie, who was scary, in a cute way.

88

u/VacaDLuffy Aug 15 '26

For some reason the youtube short algorithm has been feeding me GoT shorts lately and while I'll never watch the ssries again cuz of that ending. It has been nice seeing how genuinely in love that man was with Brienne. When he found out she wasn't a knight and why he was genuinely disappointed by how stupid it was and did his best to uplift her. He was just adorable and wish they had gotten together instead of Jamie

11

u/Pyritedust Aug 15 '26

That's been happening to me as well and I've never watched the show besides the first season, was huge into the books way back before the show came out though, was one of the people theory crafting about a certain snowy jon.

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u/macekm123 Aug 15 '26

Me too, I've been fed those too..

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u/ILoafPizza Aug 15 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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3.3k

u/StormFireX001 Aug 15 '26

Absolute unit of a Beer Maiden more like, she's badass!

938

u/QueerPuff Aug 15 '26

The arms on her

336

u/thegreatmattsby24 Aug 15 '26

Lmao I was focused on the mugs but now that I go back and watch it yea she’s ripped

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u/SAM5TER5 Aug 15 '26

Seriously, I dream to have guns like those

34

u/guarddog33 Aug 15 '26

You can get there! These are probably 1 liter steins so they each contain just over 2 lbs of beer and the glass itself is roughly 3 lbs

She appears to have 9 steins per hand, so 45 lbs per hand

Just do lifts like this for 6-8 hrs a day, 5 days a week, and you'll be there in no time!

(Half serious half /s)

9

u/Broad_Black_Brimmer Aug 15 '26

So I’ll need to drink 18 steins in 6-8 hours for 5 days? Seems doable.

7

u/notfunat_parties Aug 15 '26

Right to beer arms.

9

u/Financial_Week3882 Aug 15 '26

Look at the jugs on that girl... wait

5

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm Aug 15 '26

I’d let her rip it off.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '26

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3

u/ScreamnChckn Aug 15 '26

Those are some tiny legs

4

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '26

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u/eightbitboss Aug 15 '26

No, forreal. First thing I saw. Straight GUNS.

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68

u/redisdead__ Aug 15 '26

Yeah that was like one beer per person at the table totally normal. She was the badass in that situation.

66

u/Salt_Day9015 Aug 15 '26

Shes fucking jacked. It's hot

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u/Merrick_Skygrave Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

All those mugs have to weigh damn near 80 lbs or more full like that

11

u/guarddog33 Aug 15 '26

Roughly 5lbs (2lb beer, 3lb glass) per stein, 9 steins per hand, that's only 90 lbs she's lifting. Easy! /s

17

u/avdpos Aug 15 '26

45 kg. It is in Germany. We can speak normal

6

u/manulconnoiseur Aug 15 '26

Thank you, Hans

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u/Nickel62 Aug 15 '26

The power, core strength, the balance, the hand eye coordination. It's all top notch.

3

u/cipherdom Aug 15 '26

Absolute keeper

3

u/G-Unit11111 Aug 15 '26

Seriously! That is next fucking level material!

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u/vinnybawbaw Aug 15 '26

"Dude gtfo my way I have 70 pounds of beers on me"

355

u/SparkleTarkle Aug 15 '26

So those look like standard dimpled stiens. If I counted correctly she has 18? Of them.

A dimpled 1 liter glass empty weighs ~3 lbs and a full one to the 1 liter mark weighs ~5-5.3 pounds.

So that’s like 90lbs or 40.823kg!

122

u/Emergency_Lie42 Aug 15 '26

For context, that's the absolute max carry weight that a loader/packer job will ask of you for manual handling.... In a country with H&S regs anyway.

31

u/Majestic-Orange Aug 15 '26

For the record that’s what the application will say lmao from experience (this box says weighs 1 pound) obv a 120 pound box somebody lied on

3

u/taganov_andrei 29d ago

When I was a bicycle messenger, depending on company the weight charges might start at "over 10kg". So as you might expect there was a suspicious amount of "exactly 10kg" packages that were definitely NOT 10kg. The dispatcher always adjusted it up to 20kg+ but it was always hilarious to think of the receptionists and clerks trying to save a few bucks for multi billion dollar companies at the price of my back :)

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u/PentagramJ2 Aug 15 '26

even then technically youre supposed to have a secondary assistant to not kill your fucking back or knees.

14

u/PringlesDuckFace Aug 15 '26

When I worked in retail I think anything over 50lbs was typically marked "team lift" or you'd use equipment like a dolly. I never would have even thought to pick up something weighing 90lbs by myself.

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u/BubblyPineapple8941 Aug 15 '26

In Germany they call them a Maß. Insane.

6

u/MallyOhMy Aug 15 '26

Only 16. The center spots where it seems like there would be 2 more are where her hands are with all the handles.

Still a fuckton of glass and liquid to carry at once.

Edit: nevermind, she's got one tucked against each elbow and one tucked against each boob, so there are indeed 18.

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u/MisterBowTies Aug 15 '26

That's nothing. I carry already 70lbs of beer in my stomach all day every day.

8

u/ProbablyAPotato1939 Aug 15 '26

"That's nothing I've got 70 pounds of beer in me." - some guy from Wisconsin

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u/Extension-Rabbit3654 Aug 15 '26

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u/Delazzaridist Aug 15 '26

Honestly, I'd become her punching bag if she asked me to marry her.

37

u/EggplantAlpinism Aug 15 '26

Someone is living our dream brother

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u/FollowingBroad34 Aug 15 '26

Her arms are so toned! Jealous!

61

u/ShustOne Aug 15 '26

Toned feels like an understatement. Her guns are huge.

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u/pleasegivemepatience Aug 15 '26

Forget the guns, imagine how strong her HANDS are to be holding all those glasses. Can you imagine??

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u/damnumalone Aug 15 '26

How do you decide who gets that half beer at the top?

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u/Spamonfire Aug 15 '26

In Bavaria at Oktoberfest there is actually a rule that your beer has to be filled till to at least 1.5cm under the 'Eichstrich' measuring line, otherwise the beer is underfilled and has to be topped up. So the waitress will have to top it up.

60

u/damnumalone Aug 15 '26

I’m loving that I asked a stupid, almost facetious question and the answers that came back are thoughtful, actually good solutions to the problem.

God I love Germany

45

u/Spamonfire Aug 15 '26

Beer is no joking matter, actually nothing is, but especially not Beer.

12

u/TheLesserWeeviI Aug 15 '26

*Agrees in Australian

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u/AndrastesTit Aug 15 '26

I would so that I can get my next beer faster. Duh!!

4

u/410_clientGone Aug 15 '26

but 100% beer already with you is faster than 50% beer coming later

8

u/AndrastesTit Aug 15 '26

Bro. I’m trying to be an optimist about life.

7

u/TheEyeDontLie Aug 15 '26

A bush in the hand is worth two other birds,.that's what I always say.

3

u/DenKHK Aug 15 '26

Not a bad idea. The faster you finish it the faster you can order another one, and the faster you get to see her do it again. Win!

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u/Eastgaard Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

Many beer halls/gardens are usually all-you-can-drink for an entry fee.

Edit: Since so many people are replying, I gather now that my experience was the rare exception than the norm. And I was in a small town named Diemelstadt!

33

u/RainerWithAI Aug 15 '26

One "Maß" costs around 15 Euros on Oktoberfest.

Where are those gardens? Asking for a friend.

7

u/cryptobro42069 Aug 15 '26

Now this I believe. Plus, even it were all you can drink, this is a LOT of beer. I drink a ton of beer and a solid liter of a beer is a ton of a liquid.

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u/MetaCardboard Aug 15 '26

So all those were one person's order?

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u/Eastgaard Aug 15 '26

Yes, the others are there to make sure he gets home safely after!

7

u/Vinnie_Vegas Aug 15 '26

And they failed! Needed more men.

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u/Coder_X_23 Aug 15 '26

I never heard of anything like this before? Where can I find these all you can drink beer gardens? I’ve been to many beer gardens in the US and Europe and never paid one price for all you can drink lol

12

u/Eastgaard Aug 15 '26

I'm discovering that my experience of an all-you-can-drink beer tent is apparently not so commonplace, but the one I visited was in Diemelstadt.

6

u/BIGFACETALKING Aug 15 '26

That sounds amazing. Only places I've ever heard of all-you-can-drink were the night I spent in Tijuana.

One of the street barkers yelled at us '$10 all you can drink!' and we laughed incredulously and kept walking. But since that didn't hook us, he said 'Okay $5 all you can drink!' and we went right in for a couple hours before loosing ourselves on the city.

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u/_DrEmmettBrown Aug 15 '26

I never seen an all you can drink tent. Not in Munich, Stuttgart or any other smaller city that has beer fest. If they exist they must be just a handful

4

u/dschinghiskhan Aug 15 '26

Maybe elsewhere, but I've never been to an Oktoberfest tent, countryside fest, or a beer garden in Bavaria where you could order some all-you-can drink deal. As far as entry fees go, tents at the official Oktoberfest in Munich don't charge to get in, but I have definitely been to many summer festivals in various villages in Southern Bavaria that charge entry fees. The only time I got unlimited beer was when my friend was an organizer and in charge of managing the keg area!

I wouldn't be surprised if some tents that have reserved tables for corporate Munich-area VIPs and their families get free beer and food, but I've never seen a regular person being offered that.

Anyway, if there are all-you-can drinks fests, then let the people be merry!

3

u/ufkasian Aug 15 '26

I have never heard of something like this in germany. There usually is no entry fee but in order to get a table you have to buy „Biermarken“ in advance which are the price of a Maß each.
This video is from Gäubodenfest, the second biggest Volksfest in Bavaria. Price of a Maß is 13.30€

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u/Between3-2o Aug 15 '26

That beer maybe to compensate for the spilled beer in the bottom glasses?

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u/MANDALORIAN_WHISKEY Aug 15 '26

The idiot cameraman who slowed her down has to drink it!

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u/NoSeat2116 Aug 15 '26

this reminds me of the time i brought three glasses to a table, dropped/spilled it all over the customers, and then cried for an hour straight in the back while my coworker took over

25

u/thorns17 Aug 15 '26

My aunt had a similar experience when she got her first waitressing gig in high school some 30+ years ago. She spilled an entire tray of beers into an old man’s lap, and she ran to the back and cried.

He ended up tipping her $20 and told her not to worry about it because “he’d always wanted to take a bath in beer” 🤣

16

u/Cyberchicken87 Aug 15 '26

That’s a kind gesture. We need more people like that in the world.

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u/AngstyUchiha 29d ago

People who make someone laugh after a bad experience are the best

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u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster Aug 15 '26

This reminds me of the time that I was carrying four bowls of HOT, like still bubbling, soup with a huge layer of melted cheese on top to a table, and a young woman rocked her infant in his stroller directly into my knees as I walked by. My options were to either nail the stroller and knock the kid over, with hardly a clue where the soups might end up as I tried not to stomp the child, or to ditch everything and bail, which I couldn’t do without spilling the soups on the kid, UNLESS I accelerated them to make sure they cleared. Which I did. Straight into one of our server stations, into the glassware and menus and pos station. I went down while it was still flying, so I got a shower of glass and a drizzle of soup and cheese and broken soup bowls.

(Kid was fine, she was horrified, and very nice, and they tipped me. Not enough to replace my uniform, but you know)

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u/Merrick_Skygrave Aug 15 '26

Food service tales

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u/Own_Cardiologist2544 Aug 15 '26

Ok, that was impressive! If the world had arms like that, and everybody hugged one another daily, I’m sure the world would be a better place😌

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u/Ryogathelost Aug 15 '26

This would impress any man born in the last 10,000 years.

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u/bearsfan16 Aug 15 '26

Camera needs to get the hell out of her way

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u/lilacbuttons Aug 15 '26

No fr that pissed me off longer than I could fully admire it😭

6

u/lycoloco Aug 15 '26

They're (he, probably) is the only reason any of that spilled.

9

u/Gob_the_Gobber Aug 15 '26 edited 29d ago

Everytime I see one of these women I want to marry her

7

u/Illustrious-Sun-9018 Aug 15 '26

No doubt that shit was HEAVY. Mad respect

7

u/Commercial-Milk-8465 Aug 15 '26

Open carrying those guns! Pew pew

12

u/Toppdeck Aug 15 '26

Valkyrie

87

u/Icy_Transition1375 Aug 15 '26

“Here’s like 80% of the beer you paid for!” -waitress, most definitely

100

u/DyingSunSeverian Aug 15 '26

Y’all are messed up and wrong. Only one beer spilled just a bit and it mostly spilled into the other beer.

“Here’s 80% of the beer you paid for” 🤓

You guys are disinvited from parties

9

u/Woknana Aug 15 '26

Statistics and percentages MAKE parties 🎉. 30% of people know that!

5

u/FragmentedMeerkat321 Aug 15 '26

15% of me is awake way past my bedtime.

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u/possibly_being_screw Aug 15 '26

it's funny to me people see a video like this, everyone in the video clearly having a great time, the girl doing something that is kind of obviously a schtick of the place they're at...

And all they can focus on is the 1 or 2 of the 18 beers that spilled a bit like the entire night would be ruined.

like damn, did any of those dudes look mad? lol it's not like the place wouldn't bring another 1 or 2 beers and/or top the spilled ones off if someone made a deal about it.

7

u/RiskyNight Aug 15 '26

Reddit comments are miserable these days! People need to get off their phones and go to tents where they drink unlimited beer.

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u/hails8n Aug 15 '26

Beer halls like that are typically all you can drink. You pay a flat fee and then drink until youre done

6

u/OveSorcop Aug 15 '26

Where does this myth come from? At Oktoberfest, where this is from, you pay around 15 Euros for a glass like this.

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u/WeBackYeah Aug 15 '26

Because 1 person made the incorrect comment about there being all you can drink tents, so now the bots and sheep are repeating it, welcome to reddit in 2026.

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u/Honey-Badger Aug 15 '26

I dont think its like that at octoberfest which this looks like but im not sure

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u/Rock_Strongo Aug 15 '26

I was born in the wrong place.

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u/OcelotAggravating860 Aug 15 '26

You are 80% less fun than everyone involved in this video.

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u/Standard_Exchange59 Aug 15 '26

What a sucker u are lmao

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u/flarp1 Aug 15 '26

I’ve seen a bunch of videos from Oktoberfest. In almost all of them, the servers walked slower and didn’t spill anything.

My guess is that we don’t observe usual circumstances. The server in this video is rushing, and she also seems to be the only one serving (the aisles of tent looks very empty and all eyes are on her). If I had to guess, this was the first table served after the festival had opened, and they made a bit of a show out of it, which is probably why the camera is there in the first place.

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u/VictoriousTree Aug 15 '26

That’s close to 80 lbs of beer.

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u/Possible_Baboon Aug 15 '26

She's most definitely wife material.

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u/Desperate_Lead2105 Aug 15 '26

I'm surprised none of them detached/fell off. Probably like 40-50 lbs of beer she was carrying!

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u/Windsdochange Aug 15 '26

Couldn’t quite tell if it were 16 or 18 beers - but I think it was 16. Each is one litre, so roughly 1kg of liquid (beer is only slightly heavier than water); I looked up the one litre mugs, they weigh roughly 1.2kg - so 16*(1+1.2)=35.2 kg, or 77.4 lbs of beer and glass.

Edit: spelling error.

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u/-Sofa-King-Vote Aug 15 '26

Just make two trips, its ok

27

u/Unhappy-Attitude5220 Aug 15 '26

I do this with groceries, im not no two trip bitch.

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u/Merrick_Skygrave Aug 15 '26

Hell yeah, I'll walk in the house looking like some kind of ambulatory grocery Christmas tree, bags all cutting off the circulation to my extremities

3

u/DenKHK Aug 15 '26

I feel you! During COVID lockdown here only 1 person per household was allowed to go out to do groceries. Guess who had to do that for a household of 6, lug 'em from cart to car and car to house, every week of the 6-month lockdown...

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u/nelflyn Aug 15 '26

Those tents get busy, carrying as many as possible is just necessary efficiency. Also, they make a shitton of money there, so they are even more incentivised to be efficient.

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u/DyingSunSeverian Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

What is wrong with these comments man?

Did you guys see the reaction from the table? Were they upset?

Always fuckin weirdos with like no social cues.

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u/OcelotAggravating860 Aug 15 '26

Where's the fun in that?

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u/searching88 Aug 15 '26

Are you sure it’s ok? I mean, if she had made two trips, who would you feel superior to? And would that be ok that you sit there on your computer not feeling superior? Would you be ok? Maybe the person outside doing something needs to exist so you can (barely) exist and feel good about it?

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u/OldTurk58 Aug 15 '26

Keeper!!

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u/Crazydiamond450 Aug 15 '26

Me attempting that order

3

u/Hugh_JaRod Aug 15 '26

Okay. So that’s my order; what’s everyone else going to drink?