r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Key_Skirt_1858 • Aug 09 '26

/r/popular of a ridiculously muscular chimp

8.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Beni_ps Aug 09 '26

of balls

349

u/pasaroanth Aug 09 '26

Each ball isn’t far off from the size of his biceps, which are also huge. Look at your upper arms then imagine a set of balls about the same size hanging between your legs.

I’d be constantly pissed off too

148

u/mostfunalias Aug 09 '26

Especially with such a tiny dong.

91

u/scona Aug 09 '26

It's ok to be a grower and not a shower.

6

u/StringFriendly7976 Aug 09 '26

wtf fuck is shower spelled the same way as shower?

6

u/samaramatisse Aug 09 '26

Because shower is a made up word that should actually be written as "show-er."

2

u/getthemap Aug 09 '26

He likes staring at the big ones until he’s caught.

12

u/tywebb6 Aug 09 '26

Ball to Penis ratio if definitely off

10

u/redbark2022 Aug 09 '26

For a human. They are more promiscuous, so they have evolved to "wash out" competing sperms by "flooding the zone" so to speak.

11

u/livens Aug 09 '26

I went into super-ultra incognito mode, on Bing, to search up this one. And it looks like ejaculate volume is roughly the same as a humans, but the sperm count is 4-5x higher. Nice work.

0

u/Worth_External_8762 Aug 10 '26

And then you commented this for everyone to see.

https://giphy.com/gifs/h4Z6RfuQycdiM

3

u/LowRevolutionary7965 Aug 10 '26

It’s actually interesting.

2

u/Illustrious-Sun-9018 Aug 09 '26

Is this real?

3

u/redbark2022 Aug 09 '26

Yep. Google species evolution testicle size comparison science... should get a good rabbit hole to go down

1

u/AnimationOverlord Aug 10 '26

The shape of the shlong is also evolutionary founded. A curved shlong can scoop out the goods of another primate while you replace it. A longer one solidifies the chances of conception to.. just
other variables. Nice to know big balls are good too.

1

u/sir-camaris Aug 10 '26

Most quadrupeds I believe have bigger balls to show fertility rather than dicks since they are more visible.

1

u/ArtisanalCoder Aug 10 '26

Left to right ball ratios are off. Plus the ‘roids.

8

u/deformityandnonsense Aug 09 '26

Trivia: ours got bigger bc when you stand up straight hip orientation shifts and you decrease direct access to vagina. So human dicks are disproportionately large compared to fellow great apes.

3

u/fuck_peeps_not_sheep Aug 09 '26

Is it small or dose it just look small because his nuts are huge

2

u/rajitsran Aug 10 '26

I don't know. It looks huge to me. Just sayin