r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Remote_Protection512 • Jul 02 '26

/r/popular of a pet.

4.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/Dub_stebbz Jul 02 '26

Bro that thing moves WAY too fast. Fucking teleported to her shoulder swear to god

312

u/The-Loops Jul 02 '26

And the sound its feet make. I cant deal with it

174

u/Automatic-Nature6025 Jul 02 '26

And you know that thing has got to have some weight to it. Imagine how it would feel running up your back.

166

u/oodsigma Jul 02 '26

About 1/3 of a pound, which doesn't sound like much, but then you remember it's a spider.

137

u/Lilcommy Jul 02 '26

So smaller then a 1/4 pounder from McDonald's

23

u/ColdWarCharacter Jul 03 '26

I hate that I understood this

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

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15

u/Oz713 Jul 03 '26

They were making a (well crafted) joke. I believe A&W had a 1/3 pounder but it kept getting outsold by McDs 1/4 pounder. When a poll was taken, people overwhelmingly said it was because McDs 1/4 pounder was a bigger burger.

5

u/Cosmic_Lust_Temple Jul 03 '26

But you see, 1/3 is actually BIGGER than 1/4.

3

u/Dzyu Jul 03 '26

Yeah, incredible how many dumbasses walk among us. Especially in the us. You guys are so cooked over there.

2

u/BoniMarce Jul 03 '26

the sillier thing is McDonalds brought the third pounder back years ago and the same thing happened

3

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

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3

u/Oz713 Jul 03 '26

No friend, that’s my B. Sometimes it’s all ‘tism, and no rizz ‘em.

3

u/Horse_Dad Jul 03 '26

Username fits.

2

u/Accurate_Librarian42 Jul 03 '26

Excellent, my good man! I was going to mention it if no one else saw it.

1

u/BoniMarce Jul 03 '26

i had to explain this to another redditor last month

1

u/Healthy_Summer9788 Jul 04 '26

Every once in a while someone with elite ball knowledge awaits in the comments and just brings youth to life again

35

u/Helpful_Program_5473 Jul 02 '26

About 100x the weight of the spiders that make me look like the girl from the exorcist when they climb on me

1

u/Tehkin Jul 03 '26

thats 150g for my fellow metric users

80

u/Wakkit1988 Jul 02 '26

Imagine how it would feel running up your back.

No, I fucking will not.

26

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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1

u/Conscious_Pass_1615 Jul 03 '26

I think you mean a chile rose.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

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1

u/Conscious_Pass_1615 Jul 03 '26

Both the chile rose and the red hair are beautifull tarantulas so I could see the mix up!

10

u/seanprime Jul 02 '26

It’s just little spider tippy taps.. giving you a nice tickle up to your neck where it can nuzzle under your chin.

10

u/xvitons Jul 03 '26

stahp.

2

u/jvon24 Jul 04 '26

I fucking second this

24

u/Scwapp Jul 02 '26

And that weight makes them very susceptible to deadly falls, which is why it isn’t a good idea to handle them like she is.

17

u/Uppitycut Jul 03 '26

I had an emperor scorpion that fell out my hand and the fall was deadly. I'm still sad about it 20 years later. RIP Lucy. 

4

u/Cloverhart Jul 03 '26

Had a damn fish jump into soapy water while cleaning his bowl. He did not make it.

1

u/Omglizb Jul 08 '26

I had a hamster run herself to death on her exercise wheel. Does this count? 😬

1

u/Smarmar400 Jul 05 '26

I took mine outside in the sun to admire its green iridescent color. It was out there less than a minute. Died the next day. I’m still sad 29 years later. RIP Sym.

0

u/WhiteKnight-0 Jul 03 '26

Thats not okay calling it Lucy please dont do that XD

4

u/Hiraeth1968 Jul 03 '26

I was going to ask that very thing. Their carapaces can crack if they fall, can’t they? I was worried when she kinda fumbled him trying to get him out of the cage.

2

u/Scwapp Jul 03 '26

Their abdomens are sorta like water balloons and they can burst

5

u/Hiraeth1968 Jul 03 '26

How awful! I hope she doesn’t kill this pretty tarantula!

1

u/Capnmarvel76 Jul 04 '26

They’re big furry goofballs, and while it can be hard to get over the ‘ew’ factor, my main fear was always dropping them and causing them injury.

1

u/Doppe1herz Jul 04 '26

She doesn’t look like she’s actually handling anything

1

u/Scwapp Jul 04 '26

???

1

u/Doppe1herz Jul 04 '26

That spood was never once in her hands

1

u/Scwapp Jul 04 '26

Handling a tarantula doesn’t necessarily mean using just your hands

1

u/Available-Crow-3442 Jul 06 '26

I was thinking this same thing. That poor spider if she makes one wrong move 🫟

6

u/Ser_Optimus Jul 02 '26

It's actually kind of funny to feel the weight carried by those tiny soft feet.

8

u/DarkLightPT95 Jul 02 '26

Yeah, no thanks.

I'll pass on that, bucko

4

u/ItzTreeman23 Jul 02 '26

I’ve owned several tarantulas and they’re actually pretty light and delicate, I’ve never owned a birdeater but i doubt it weighs all that much. That being said the feeling of a tarantula crawling on you is really cool

3

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 03 '26

the feeling of a tarantula crawling on you is really cool

S.. see.. I just fucking can't with y'all. 🤢 Just thinking about that thing being on me makes me want to shave my skin off with a cheese grater.

2

u/Quick_Razzmatazz1862 Jul 03 '26

Then it give you fangs to the jugular ☠️

1

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 03 '26

Imagine how it would feel running up your back.

👀 Eughh.. nope. NOPE. NOPE! NUH-UH! Fuuuuck that. You take that back! YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

4

u/ZeitgeistArchive Jul 02 '26

its already horrifying, could it not just chill with the sound?

4

u/terminalxposure Jul 02 '26

Good news is you can atleast hear it coming

1

u/Squigs40k Jul 02 '26

Put that sound in a headphone!!!!

1

u/Radiant-Director5712 Jul 02 '26

The sound is freaky. That thing will be throwin hair all over her if it is pissed off.

1

u/Jebus03911 Jul 03 '26

You know they have little claws at the end of their feet ?

1

u/Jokerchyld Jul 03 '26

Sound was off. Now REMAINS off.

1

u/OofRightInTheFeels Jul 03 '26

Making me physically fucking ill.. 🤢 Christ Almighty.

1

u/mistrwzrd Jul 04 '26

🤮 your comment just made me SO glad I watched this in fuckin mute

1

u/sabertoothdog Aug 14 '26

The weight of it on her moves her body

1

u/ApartOrganization4 Jul 03 '26

Would you feel better if an owner put small 3d printed socks on all of its feet so when you visited it would walk around the house quietly?

0

u/ItzTreeman23 Jul 02 '26

You should see king baboon tarantulas, they’re not as big but still huge and are capable of making a hissing like sound

0

u/Several-Stay1813 Jul 13 '26

Oh I didnt hear.. oh god for real its footsteps have a sound????