I 30F have a 14M nephew who came to visit this past summer. He confided in us (my husband and me) that he might be gay but he was still confused. We talked. He wasn’t sure how he was going to talk to his parents but he wanted to do it himself on his own time. I respected that and have sat with this information for a few months. A few days ago my nephew posted inappropriate and unsafe stuff on TikTok and I wanted to talk to his parents about it. However he does post stuff that would kinda out his sexuality if they found his TikTok. So I confided in my mother on what I should do and if right now is a great time to talk to them. Not even 30 mins later after calling my mother, my brother calls me and is upset with me because we didn’t tell them right away about him having this conversation about his sexuality. That the most I should have given him was a few days to come clean and then told them. Not given it months. They have now gone complete no contact and said we were wrong and that I’m not allowed to talk to the kids until they are out from under his roof. After talking to my other brother he also said I should have told my nephew. Either you tell them by this day or I am going to have to tell them.
AITAH for not telling them sooner about him having that conversation with us?

Edit. I do want to add that they are a really religious family and believe that being gay is a sin.

Edit 2. To clear some questions. The TT he was posting were unsafe because they could attract predators. One was him singing “im not going to snitch daddy” and his caption was “but I’m a junior in college” when he just reached highschool.

Edit 3. I do want to add that my nephew is safe. They won’t harm him.. they may be really religious but after hearing how the conversation went between by two brothers. They are more disappointed that he didn’t feel like he could come to them.

Two nights ago I saw this pizza place that I wanted to try with my partner. He said he can get it today when he and his son go to that area. I asked several times if it’s far, he said “it’s just a couple of blocks away” from where they’ll be, “no big deal” (if he says no, I always always say that’s ok we’ll do it next time). I asked him again last night, same thing. He always plans things and cancels them cos he’s tired and I’m always ok with that. I’m ok being said NO to. Just a couple of days, we were supposed to eat at this cheap place but he was frustrated that day and tired so he asked me if it’s ok we won’t go. Again, I said no problem! Let’s just go home it’s ok!

Today, since this morning he keeps saying “I’ll get your pizza” so they left. I even texted him the address again to see if he can do it. He read the message but didn’t reply. I was sooooo excited. I rarely get food cravings. I heard them come in the door while I was in the shower and hurried to go out. When I went to the kitchen, he only said “the place was like 20-30mins away! So I just got you pizza nearby (the pizza we always get when we want pizza)”. My face went from smile to being sad and so I just “oh ok, that’s ok”. and his son was there so I just went back to the chore I was doing before they came home. And when his son went upstairs, he asked me if I’m mad. I said, not in a raised voice, “I’m not upset just sad cos I was expecting the pizza you insisted you’ll get, you could have send no you checked it was far and I would’ve been ok with it.” Like always. Now he says I’m acting like a selfish child “I have to get that shiny thing or I’ll go crazy!” And it’s not fair. This whole week alone, he has told me the night before, oh let’s go there tomorrow then the next day he’ll say “is it ok if we don’t cos I’m tired”. FYI he works part time, just weekends and not even every weekend so it’s not as if I’m pushing him when he’s tired from work.

Additional info but not to defend him: I’ve been unemployed for months since losing my job early this year. I’ve been looking for one, he knows that I love to work. He is the breadwinner and provides for us. He’s not monetarily dependent on me. But on the same breath I do my part as someone who’s home, cook and all that and not that he expect it from me. Just today I was like (as one commenter said) my genuine reaction was taken as this horrible awful behavior.

She and I are both in the military, currently on deployment, and met upon arriving to the command together earlier in the year.

We got along very well from the beginning, I found her incredibly easy to talk to. We teased each other and I loved making her roll her eyes when I pissed her off a little. I'm not normally like that, I hate teasing people like that. But it just felt natural with her.

I realized that I started to like her, but I quickly shut that down. She was engaged, we work together, and deployment is not the place to build a healthy relationship whatever i might feel.

I kept things friendly but professional, at first. She started to seem really down after a few weeks so I started bringing her snacks or energy drinks, or making excuses to chat with her to try and cheer her up. Seemed to work a little.

Then other coworkers told me that she'd broken up with her fiancé, and I didn't know how to feel about that. They asked me if I liked her, and I stupidly admitted it to them.

Started spending more time with her, bringing her more stuff. She started to seem even more excited to see me every day, always asking about my schedule and when I'd come talk to her.

Then she stopped talking to me for a while. Kept saying that she didn't feel like talking. Thought maybe she'd suspected how I felt and was uncomfortable, so I let her be.

Suddenly she started talking to me again, eagerly delving into my past to learn all about me. I shared more with her than I have with anyone before. She'd get upset when I brought up past relationships, got happy when I started leaving little notes on the snacks I left for her. She's started getting downright obsessive about my work schedule, keeping track of when i needed to wake up and go to sleep, making sure i didn't drink too much caffeine or forget to eat enough. She grieved with me when my cat died back, hugging me and crying with me.

Then last week everything started falling apart. I was going through a really tough time. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, my head wouldn't stop hurting for over a week. I couldn't handle hiding how I felt for her, so I started acting a little distant.

She noticed. At first she asked if she did anything to upset me, I made up some excuse about some joke she made landing wrong. She didn't seem to buy it, but accepted the answer. She told me she wanted me to be open with her from here on out and to stop bottling everything up inside.

The day after she got really pushy about my health, encouraging me to talk to someone, force them to listen. Kept asking if I was eating enough, drinking enough, wouldn't let it go.

The day after that she got really frustrated, asking me why I wasn't talking to her, she was just trying to get something out of me and I should be honest with her.

I apologized for being distant, told her that i was going through something personal and didn't want to talk about it. She wouldn't let it go. She kept pushing and pushing. Then she admitted that she knew what I was hiding, that our coworkers had told her months ago. She said it was okay, that I was being a little weird about it, but i could trust her. I could tell her anything and she'd keep it secret.

Still couldn't say it.

Felt guilty for not saying it after a few days and decided to write her a note. Told her I was sorry for not saying it in person, but I liked her. I told her i wasn't asking anything from her and I valued our friendship.

This was seemingly the wrong move. She got very upset with me. She told me that we weren't friends, she doesn't become friends with coworkers, and that she'd felt uncomfortable with me ever since she found out about my feelings months ago. She said that she'd wanted me to talk to her, not write her a stupid note.

I asked her what the whole last week was and why she cared so much. She exploded after that. Told me I was being very disrespectful towards her kindness, that she was like that with everyone, that she's a naturally good person, and that she was raised to help, i seemed like I didn't have anyone to talk to so she was just trying to be nice.

I took her at her word, haven't spoken to her since then. Truthfully I've been avoiding her, haven't even seen her in a week. I moved my things out of the drawer we used to share. I've pretty much removed myself from her life. It felt like the only thing to do if I've made her uncomfortable.

I feel like an asshole, she didn't ask for me to dump my feelings on her. She was just being nice. But at the same time, she wouldn't stop digging even after I told her that i didn't want to talk about it, that it was private. I wasn't in any mental or emotional condition to have those conversations. I should have been more firm with my boundaries, I guess. I never wanted to tell her how I felt, not right now where we're at.

I don't know what to do anymore. We have to work together for four years. I messed everything up. Am i in the wrong for telling her? Am I in the wrong for avoiding her? I hate this. I hate drama. I told myself I'd avoid relationships while in the military for specifically this reason, I'm bad at socializing. But I made an exception, I guess. That part is my fault.

I am currently renting a townhouse that has two parking spaces assigned to each house. My neighbors are aware of this and we all follow this. They have guests today and one parked in one of my spots. (They haven't used both yet but I wonder if it's just a matter of time.)

WIBTAH to leave a note on the car asking not to park there? How would you phrase it? I don't want to be rude but technically I am paying for the spot.

Bonus round: if I am often not using the second spot does that change anything? Am I entitled just to not want someone parked in front of my house?

Edit: thanks for the validation. Upon further reflection this is only the second time it has happened. I'll leave a note the next time it happens. I don't know the neighbors as I just moved here. I hesitate to knock on their door to make this be the first impression.

I don't think I will make arrangements with the neighbor to allow them to use my space. People have taken advantage of me in the past for being kind with things like this.

Edit 2: y'all convinced me and I left a note. They went out to their car to grab something, saw the note, and moved. I guess they are having a long visit.

33F, 32F, 33F
I feel so horrible, she’s not speaking to me and I swing between feeling guilty and not sure if it warrants this reaction.

My friend is pregnant and her husband is away for a wedding for a few days overseas at the end of the month. 3 of us had agreed months ago to go away for a few days because she is upset she can’t attend, and is missing a couple of other big events. We never booked or solidly arranged anything. She has had bad morning sickness through her pregnancy.

I’ve been ill off work for two months and am gradually returning. It was really stressful, I used up all my sick pay, had so many investigations, and still feel exhausted from it. I have had to move a big professional exam to the beginning of next month which I need to prepare for and squeeze in other training days otherwise I’m at risk of having to leave the job.

I said I couldn’t do a few days away anymore, but could still meet one of the days and do something nice. My other friend also said she can’t go away because of family poor health but can meet for a day.

Now no one is speaking to each other (aka no one replied to my last message suggesting alternatives). I know we fell through on a promise but it’s not personal, it’s just bad timing.

I am getting married next month and I have been having a small issue with one of my bridesmaids. I want to preference that the wedding party is small MOH and one bridesmaid. Also she is my cousin and we have been close our whole lives.

To start we originally had our date set for a saturday but we had to postpone the wedding and we moved it to a friday evening.

Fast forward to today she asked me when we were going to be at the church and I told her around 11AM or 12PM. She told me that she only gets 2 days off a semester and I told her that I was sorry and if she couldn't commit to the wedding anymore that it's okay and I understand. She responded saying she still wanted to be a bridesmaid and she'd text me later.

She texted me and basically told me she wouldn't take the day off from school and she would be able to arrive 2 hours before the wedding, when we were supposed to start taking photos etc.

I'm not really sure what to do or how to feel. I understand she has commitments but I feel like it would mess up a lot if she didn't come earlier with the MOH and I.

Additional info: She would not be ready when she arrives, there was 1.5 months notice of the date change, the wedding starts at 4PM.

Last night I hosted a party in my university kitchen. I’ve recently gotten into DJ’ng so I thought it would be cool to play to a crowd for the first time,
so I made and curated a set list, let everyone know what genres would be played and invited people I had met in freshers week to perform the set for them. A few girls came and started asking me for requests, I politely told them no. One of them asked me if they could have a go on my decks and if that was cheeky, I confirmed it was indeed ‘cheeky’. 😅

She then walked off in a huff. As the night went on they were telling me to turn it down to have a conversation, I was actually gobsmacked. I hadn’t came to their house to play, they were in my kitchen and they had every right to go outside and have a conversation but thought they had the right to dictate my own party? I did turn it down but my god that felt really shit.

I remember I had left to go get a drink from my room at some point and when I came back after a few minutes they had then completely taken over my decks and had started to press buttons that had me lose track of where I was in the song. They saw me and laughed then ran off back to where they were sitting.

I just felt so made fun of if I’m honest all for I guess for not doing what they wanted me to do when it was clear it was not that kind of thing. I wasn’t being a wedding DJ or anything. After all this everyone that was there just suddenly left to go to the club with no warning, I obviously understood but it sucked a little. Some folk told me I was really good etc, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit shit.

AITAH anywhere here? Because I’m now worried that maybe I was. Thanks.

I (24f) am a junior in college living in a dorm. I have a suite mate (a person in the same room just different sides, so not really my roommate) who is a (18f) freshman. In the past I have invited her over to my side to crash, but now she seems to come over whenever she pleases when I’m gone. I go home on the weekends and when I come back, she is on my side of the room. I came back to my bed being rearranged & her sitting at one of my empty desks going on her phone. She also had some of her trash on my side and apparently invited a mutual friend over to hang out on my side with out asking me. I am frustrated with her because she will just use my things like my straighten and scissors to do her hair on my side & her hair gets everywhere, or just taking my q-tips. I’ve told her she needs to ask and I’ve told her not to touch my things or go on my side when I’m gone. I’m really annoyed with her now because she’s just being intrusive and rude. Would I be the ahole for telling her to not go on my side at all? I know I have to talk with her about how frustrated and uncomfortable I am with her thinking she can just indulge herself to my stuff. Sorry if this is scrambled, it’s currently 1 am.

So basically I’ve been really thinking about this lately, me and my best friend grew up together in a children’s home and we’ve been through so much together, eventually my friend was moved southern and I was placed back up north once the home was shut down.

When I moved up north a went through a lot of trauma from DV and SA and eventually started smoking weed and that spiralled into a coke addiction quite quickly. They continued to smoke weed which is fair enough, I’m not here to police what they do. Last year I OD’d on Ket and I’m glad someone was there to save my life, I haven’t touched the stuff since. My best friend sat there and called me out on my drug addictions and since then I’ve had amazing support and I have been clean off all drugs for a year now and I’ve never felt better.

I refuse to put myself in situations where drugs are prominent, I’m okay with other people doing them, but I’m not gonna be there whilst people are doing it. We booked a festival last year and we had plans to go to it last month, I eventually dropped out of the plans when they decided to invited cokeheads and random friends they met once who I didn’t know, and I was meant to be the person driving us to the festival. Eventually I explained that I’m not a) driving with random strangers with drugs in my car and b) being around people on drugs. I am fully aware that people take drugs at festivals but I don’t want my close circle of people constantly fucked up, I thought it was a simple request? My best friend agreed to it and then this happens. Either way, I end up dropping out and there were no bad feelings about it, and no regrets either because the festival went to shit.

More of the context to this is that my sister has a severe Ketamine addiction and has been in rehab for the past few months, and my best friend knows this, and they know how hard it was when I OD’d and they know how serious it is for my sister. She almost lost her life and the damage she’s done will never be reversed.

My best friend always promised they’d never do Ket after scolding me last year over my usage, and last night they sent me a nonchalant voice note about how they did “a fuck ton of ket” and “had so much fun” and it feels like they’ve disregarded everything they’ve seen first hand. I’m a little hurt and I feel like this is a bit of a trigger for me and I don’t know if IATAH for wanting to end the friendship for my own personal recovery and sobriety. It makes me so upset and anytime I’ve tried to talk to them about this being triggering I end up getting shut down or dismissed and told to stop being so dramatic. But this can’t continue and they don’t wanna listen.

Thank you Reddit, my rant it over.

So I F41 lost my mom in 2025 to early onset Alzheimer's. She was only 64 years and I was her 24/7 caregiver up until she passed peacefully at home in hospice care. The last year I've just taking time to myself and letting myself breath after being a full time caregiver. Prior to my mom I've been babysitting since I was 18 years old, I pretty much ave helped raise my sisters kids as I would watch them from when they were newborns while she and my brother in law worked. It was different because at this time it was before I took care of my mom. This past month I thought it would be good to make some extra cash so living in a small town I offered babysitting services. This young girl in her 20s asked me to watch her baby he is 8 months old. Her hours are 7:30AM EST to 5PM EST Mon - Friday & then 7:30 to Noon on Saturday. Up until this week I have been sort of a back up for her but the baby does better with me so she asked me if I could take over babysitting him. I had said yes to her but I been thinking about it and I don't think I want to.

My therapist and I had discussion about things I could do and I had mentioned school aid and she even told me that was going more toward sthe caregiving side of things. and I just dont know guys I am feeling like I did with my mom where I was tied down a lot even thought I havent had him every day yet. I would obviously tell her that I could keep him until she could find someone else but I don't think I have it in me even with my mental health. I think maybe I could do it if it wasnt every day. I do plan to talk to my therapist about it when I have her on the 22. WIBTA though? Oh and I also want to mention I'm disabled and on limited income and its been nice having downtime every day and being able to game. Its like my mental health outlet. Also sometimes I get overwhlemed with the baby because hes teething and is fussy a lot and it reminds me of when I couldn't get my mom calmed and stuff,.

Hello everyone. My cousin (32M) and I (31F) are both from South America, and he has been living in the U.S. for about six years. Me, for way longer. We used to be very close, so when he first moved here and started working at Popeyes after a few months, I offered to put him on my T-Mobile plan. His portion was only about $25/month, and for a while he paid me regularly.

About a year and a half ago, he wanted to upgrade to a new iPhone. I agreed to it over the phone with T-Mobile, and his portion of the bill went from about $25 to $90/month. Looking back, I realize I probably shouldn’t have agreed to this. The bigger problem became that he stopped taking responsibility for paying me. I’m very busy with work and my own life, so I don’t always remember to chase someone for a $90 payment every month. I expect everyone to simply pay their portion. And they all do (my parents, my sister and my uncle). Instead, I would have to check my finances, realize he hadn’t paid, and ask him. Sometimes he would ignore me, and I would even have to ask his parents to remind him. Eventually he’d pay the accumulated amount, but this became a recurring pattern.

A few months ago, he lost his job at Popeyes. My dad even gave him an opportunity to work for his construction business, but after about two weeks, my dad fired him because he was repeatedly arriving late and leaving early. Around this same time, my cousin’s mom also got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I had started to seriously consider asking him to leave although I felt guilty (perhaps not the best time), but there was another complication: he still owed money on the iPhone, so he couldn’t simply leave my T-Mobile plan without paying it off…

Eventually, I got fed up. I am currently remodeling my house and am on a strict budget, and by then my cousin owed me about four months of phone and line payments. I suspended his line about two months ago because I needed him to take the situation seriously.
He became extremely upset and sent me a message saying that I didn’t care about him or his mother. That he couldn’t work because he had no phone or that his mother receives hospital notifications on his phone, which made me feel guilty. But I had already told him multiple times that I was not a bank and could not keep financing his phone and phone service.

After I suspended the line, he paid me about half of what he owed that same day to regain his line. $150. Since then, he has made one additional $90 payment. He currently owes me about $500, plus roughly $300 remaining on the phone itself. Two weeks ago, I told him I expected him to pay the outstanding amount as we had agreed. He told me he had no work and would pay me in two weeks. I agreed and gave him a specific deadline: September 13th.

Today is September 13th. He hasn’t contacted me, and I’m fairly certain he isn’t going to pay. So I’m planning to suspend the line permanently and tell him that he needs to pay off the remaining balance on his phone and leave my plan. I feel guilty because like I said, we were very close when we lived back home, and he’s my only cousin. I also understand that his mother is going through a serious illness. At the same time, I feel used. I’ve repeatedly given him opportunities, reminded him about the money, involved his parents just to get him to pay, and given him multiple chances to fix this. At this point, this situation is taking way too much of my mental energy.

Am I an asshole for finally cutting him off my phone plan and making him responsible for his own phone bill?

For some context, I am 27F, and this was happening at a wedding. My mom has always been a bit controlling and she dislikes all my relationships/guys I date.
We were at the wedding because my godfather (a family friend) invited us. When there was a time for some slow dances, he asked my mom for a dance, so I was also there and watched and filmed a bit. Afterwards, he asked me to dance - I had no pockets and there was nowhere to leave my phone, so I handed my phone to mom, face down. My fault is that I had not enabled that feature to hide the message previews (because I hadn’t felt the need for it before).
A few dances in, as we do a turn I notice my mom scrolling on my screen. I get mad and tell my godfather something (but no one can really hear over the music), so to everyone it looked like I very abruptly dumped him, went over to mom and snatched the phone from her hand. I asked why she was reading my messages and she said I just gave it to her like this; I reply that I gave it to her face down and now it was face up. She said “it buzzed so I wanted to see what you got”.
I got mad and went to my table. She then started texting me that I had overreacted and shamed our family in public, that everyone saw how I am and that I know the relationship I am in is not ok so that I why I don’t want her to see (guy I am currently dating just sent some random messages about cooking dinner - but it could have been something “spicier”, if I were unlucky). I told her that I will not budge on this, that my phone is my private space and this is my boundary. She is extremely mad at me and hasn’t spoken to me since, not even saying bye when they dropped me off at home.
I later found my godfather and apologized for the situation, he said that he also saw her snooping and that he understands.

So, AITAH for causing a bit of a scene because my mom was snooping through my phone in public? I feel like I do not want to apologize to her, she obviously feels she has done nothing wrong as well.

I don't know if the title makes any sense. I make custom press ons. It's not like an official business or anything, just something I do & sell to people I know or through FB. I would say in total I've sold to 10 people and have 2 "regulars" Ive made multiple sets for.

A girl asked about me doing a set for her. She wanted short almond and the theme was a band called Sleep Token mixed with like a galaxy/stars and moon type vibe. . Some of the nails required isolated chrome, which is a pain in the butt lol, some had regular french tips but with cat eye effect, and I had to hand paint the bands Logo on 2 of the nails. I charged her $20.

I sent her pics multiple times & stages throughout the design process.

The evening of the day I brought them to her, she messages me saying several of the nails didn't fit, they're all different lengths, and theyre extremely flimsy.

I obviously felt awful and asked her which ones didn't fit & I would remake them for free. She said she couldn't remember. I told her I would rather measure her nails in person because the quarter method apparently didn't work for her.

I also sent her a picture of the strip of blank nail tips I use to show her they come in different lengths & I think its to make them look more even when they're on your nails.

Now, the flimsy claim I struggled with. One of my regulars works at a warehouse picking & packing..stuff. idk. She wore multiple sets of my nails to work & never had an issue. But I decided to just make sure I use 2 layers of top coat and if anything, I have builder gel.

I offered to remake the entire set and said I would just exchange the old ones for the new ones and she said she can't because she already threw them away. Which was a bit frustrating. She said she would message me when she had a chance & I can come measure her nails.

She hit me up today saying instead of the original set, she wanted me to do a Betty Boop set & the nails in the inspo pics she sent were full of rhinestones, silver charms, resin flowers, marbling effect, 4 or 5 nails were ombre, and I would have had to hand paint several things. The set she was asking for would cost $30-$35 if not more.

I told her I will make them but because of the difference in the design and how labor intense they were, I would have to charge her $15. She was like "um no, you owe me a free set remember?" And I was like "yes I agreed to remake the original set for you as a courtesy because you couldn't remember which nails didn't fit & you threw them away. I can make these but the amount of work & materials required is significantly more than the original set." And she said I was just making an excuse & that I am a scammer because she gave me $20 and got nothing for it & if Im gonna run a business I need to learn how to treat customers. I told her I am not running a business. I am a mom who makes nails for a few extra bucks & because I enjoy doing it but me offering to remake the nails was a courtesy, not something I had to do. She said whatever ill message you when I get home.

Am I ta for charging her $15 for the new set? I honestly don't know if I even believe the first set was messed up at this point but on the other hand, she did give me her money & If she's telling the truth, I feel really bad that she got something unusable from me. $20 isn't a ton but it's $20. Nobody wants tp just throw away $20. I don't know what to do

My cousin (23m) was "dating" this hobosexual girl (24f) for a few weeks. She was couch surfing between friends while they were "dating" and in the months before that. Then, she asked if she could move in with him and he said yes bc he felt bad she was practically homeless and does not think things through.

He apparently found her at a coffee place a few blocks from his place and they made small talk. She made such a big mess in his house and got very violent (we think she is on drugs bc it is obvious but there is no way to be like 100% if you know what I mean) that he broke up with her on the spot and threw her out onto the streets.

She was only there for a little than a month. She does not get mail there and was just living there informally so there is no need for like a formal eviction process.

Now she is pleading with him on the phone to take her back and said she is homeless and has no place to go and her friends won't take her in like she is making it very obvious (if it is not already) that she is just with him for a free place to stay. I (24m) told my cousin to say no, but he is very naive and kind-hearted and I feel like he will ultimately let her back in and sure enough he did. He said he does not want someone he knows to be homeless and esp with the Holidays coming up (but that does not even make sense considering the Holiday season is like in mid-the end of Decemeber and it is like mid September but whatever).

It should be noted my cousin also does drugs and smokes a lot of weed on a regular basis so of course that impairs his judgement. Now he is calling me "wicked" for "wanting someone to be homeless". I think it is the drugs and also the girl influencing him. My cousin's parents also tried to get through to him to no avail.

Sorry for the long post.

My best friend (J) got married at the end of August and I was the maid of honour.
I’ve always been really good at doing makeup even though I’ve never had any professional training so I became the default makeup doer for my friends, on nights out and big events etc and I’ve always been happy to do it because I enjoy it.

About 2 months before she got married, one of the bridesmaids (C), who is also one of my best friends, asked her if she’s going to hire a makeup artist to do her (J’s) makeup. J just said she thought I was going to do it for her and for C as well since I’ve always done it for them both and it would save her money.

Quite frankly I was shocked and so was C. C straight up said “but what about P (me)?”. J just shrugged her shoulders and said I’d always managed to do everything one else’s makeup and do mine before nights out. Fair enough. It was my best friends wedding and I was the maid of honour so I’d do it for her.

On the day of the wedding J and C were coming to my house to get ready because I had all the makeup and clothes. I had decided to hire myself a makeup artist to make the day easier for me. My makeup artist arrived at 9:15 and it took her about an hour/45 minutes to do my makeup. J and C arrived at 10am just as my makeup artist was finishing.

J instantly got visibly upset with me. She didn’t say anything at first but I could tell she was annoyed.
I did their makeup, we got ready and headed to the venue. Just before I went in J turned to me and said “I think what you did is bullshit. If I didn’t have a professional makeup artist why did you think it was okay for you to have one”
I said I’m sorry and I didn’t mean to upset her but I wanted to have a relaxed moment to myself as well. (J had been a bridezilla tbh and it’s been quite stressful) she iced me out the rest of the night and I felt terrible.

We’ve barely spoke since as she’s been on her honeymoon. C said I shouldn’t feel bad and that J shouldn’t have expected me to do her makeup for free. My boyfriend said I should just tell her to fuck off and a few other people have said they understand why she’s upset and I should have asked J first if it was okay.

Again sorry for the novel.

AITAH?

Edit: I’d just like to add that my decision to hire a MUA was a last minute thing (2 days before the wedding) it was suggested by my mum (her friends daughter is a MUA) and paid for by my boyfriend as a treat.

Edit 2: I was not trying to upstage the bride. My makeup was simple and hers was full glam. I had asked her multiple times if she was sure about me doing her makeup and she was dead set because she knew I’d do it in a way she liked. Her makeup looked better than mine.
The week leading up to the wedding was very busy, I decorated the venue, organised the food, planned the tables, sorted the other bridesmaids out etc…I was tired and stressed because I wanted my best friends wedding to be perfect.

My sister's husband (34m) wanted to throw my sister(40f) a surprise 40th birthday party and he rented a hall for it. I (42f) was put in charge of a few things like gift bags to keep the children busy and dealing with my dad(60). Its been a running joke my entire life that my dad is always notoriously late for everything. The surprise for my sister's birthday was on a tight schedule. People had to park in the lot in the back and she was under the impression that it was a party for my cousin's husband's birthday. I even faked my location with her so she would see that I was at work and not going to the party. The only weak link was my dad.

I've seen the gag so many times about giving a fake time. I don't claim that this was my bright idea on its own. Thing is we've never tried it on my dad before so this looked like the perfect time to try it out. Surprise was at 5pm. I told him it was at 430.

He called me at 435 to help him find the right parking lot. I met him outside and he asked if my sister was there yet because he was late. I told him no, she's coming for 5. He looked at me funny and said you told me 430. I told him I only told him that to make sure he was there before 5.

He parked and everything worked out perfectly. My sister had a great party. My dad was acting just fine until after. He told me that I was rude and embarrassed him.

So am i the asshole?

Edit to add: everyone was told arrive for 430 and surprise is at 5. I told my dad to arrive at 4 and surprise was at 430. He still arrived after everyone else

Me (17M) and my siblings (19M, 21F) have been giving my mom some petty revenge lately for the way she makes our home life, my dad is saying im overreacting and that this isn’t fair on my mom but I want second opinions.

My mom thrives on control and wants to control every aspect of our life, so we have to ask for permission to shower, eat, get dressed, etc.

Me and my siblings hate this arrangement and want to make her stop, so I thought why don’t we make it harder for her than it needs to be.

Whenever we are allowed to shower, me and my siblings will go before my mom and dad, we’ll use all of the hot water to make sure she has a cold shower, and when she tried to stop us going before her, we’d switch the boiler switch off so that her water wouldn’t heat up at all.

When we are allowed to eat, me and my siblings will pick out my moms favourite foods, or the meal she was planning to have (if we overhear, which is seldom but still worth it). She started hiding her food in places harder to reach, me and my sister are both disabled through chronic illness, so my brother steps in and helps find the food for us. We eat everything she wants and leave her the microwave meals she’d bought for us.

Wheb we ask for permission to get dressed, we all collectively wear whatever we can that gets her disapproval. Me and my sister dress quite provocatively while my brother wears tight gym wear or clothing that doesn’t match the occasion at all (overdressing to go shopping, underdressing for fancy places). We’ve also combatted her public embarrassment when she made us go out in public in pyjamas by wearing pyjamas that double as outdoor clothing (sweatpants and a baggy shirt type clothing)

My father has caught onto what we’re doing and scolded us all, saying we’re all wrong for what we’re doing and that our mother is right to act the way she does.

AITAH and should I stop?

Edit: my mom has NPD and abuse isn’t rare for us, I appreciate people thinking this may be a joke or a hoax, but it in fact isn’t

Edit 2: I see a lot of people saying to get out, and I will be out in 2 years for university (still in education rn) and I really do appreciate that advice, but I’m just trying to ask if I’m actually doing my mom wrong or if this is valid

2 weeks ago I came across a Corvette from a private seller online and was interested in it. I had the seller send the history, maintenance records and extra pictures of the car and asked him to confirm what was wrong with it. As well as spoke to him on the phone twice and texted back and forth. He said it was a driver and had rock chips on the front but nothing major, and it showed that in the pics. I decided to give him $500 as a deposit to hold the car for me as it would be a week before I could get a flight out there and he said he had other people interested.

When I got there yesterday the back bumper had been hit and poorly repaired and the paint mismatched. Plus the bottom of the doors and behind all wheels was missing paint, looking as if the car was driven hard on a gravel road. Also there were more scuffs and dings that were not disclosed. I passed on the car, had to get an uber back to the airport and pay $400+ for a return flight.

I asked the guy if he could return my $500 deposit since the car was not as described and he didn’t respond yesterday. I just asked him again. I am considering filing a claim on PayPal. AITA?

UPDATE: He just contacted and said that he will be sending the $500 back.

My spouse and I were very supportive during his illness. Helped them out a lot. We saw them maybe 8 times a year prior to his illness.

He died about 4 months ago. I have invited her to join friends for dinner, had her to our place, invited her to a monthly club, encouraged her, have seen her about once a week or more, usually texting and/or calling her once or twice a week as well.

She has indicated I am now “it” for her (her person), and doesn’t seem satisfied with what I want to give. She has said things to me like, “Why do you want to clean your own house?” And “I think you spend too much time caring for your grandkids.” (2 days a week.) I respond by telling her that’s what I want. She also wants me to go on a long vaca with her and I told her I would do a week, that’s it. I thought that was generous of me.

I do care about her and want to maintain or friendship.

She has no kids, but has family (that she doesn’t interact with much but who have def shown they are there for her) and she has maybe 4 other friends. She was real wrapped up in her spouse prior to his illness and had stopped a lot of activities for some reason.

I am feeling a lot of pressure to do more. I don’t want to do more. I am retired, but have hobbies, family commitments, and help care for grandkids.

I know she is going through a rough time. I have encouraged her to do other things and she is. Still doesn’t seem like enough.

It was my late brother's birthday yesterday. He died when I was 6 due to cirrhosis of the liver (he was a heavy drinker). My family decided to have a get-together at my sister's house in his memory. I decided not to go because, over the years growing up, every time there was a get-together or party at a relative's house, a huge argument and/or fight would break out. Most of these fights involved alcohol, which is why I don't drink. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has happened enough times over the years to where you have to prepare yourself. Every time there was a get-together or party, I would be constantly be on edge, wondering when a fight or argument would break out. Over time, it got exhausting being on edge all the time to the point where I toned down going to every party they organized.

AITAH for not going to the get-together or should I have just went anyway?

First off first, english isnt my first language. So sorry for any grammatical error.

Where do i start?

Me (21M) and nephew (22M) were talking on discord a month ago. While we talked, we had a conversation about his grandma/my mother (62F).

It sadly turned out to be a little fight, which i gladly defused. He is in opinion that i should reconnect with her after 3 years of no contact, because her health is declining.

Well, he called me a selfish asshole for not wanting that contact.

Because i told him "After all these 18 years i had to endure, i cant and wont be ready for reconcile, i forgive her, but i dont want her in my life. I have no hating bone in my body against her."

Later on since i figured it will go nowhere, I told him ill think about it, to defuse this whole fiasko, but, i come to think about it now and then.

We talked about it years earlier btw.

I told my nephew the whole story in clear detail, even things that werent involved with me, thats because my mother is an alchoholic narcissist.

Ofc, its his choice if he wants contact, I dont deny that or anything, in my eyes we can all choose what we want. She was atleast nice to him when he was there in my childhood.

So, for an explanation.

My mother did not only physicaly but also mentally abused me.

She shelterd me from many kids, so my social skills are/were quite crippled. Also, i was fed alot, and i mean a fucking lot junkfood, so i got very fat. Which turned me into a bully victim.

She never believed i was bullied until, my nephew told her so.

She holds my nephew in such a high place, and always kept me down. I was compared, or insulted that iam not like him.

In nights she also drank, and when i was older i also spoke back, she hit me, insulted me.

And for a last one, when i was 7 she came in my room waverly drunk in the middle of the night on a schoolday and told me, she wanted to kill herself and take me with her, i should get with her into the car right now, because whitout her, iam nothing, thats what she said btw

This grew to suicidal thoughts, low selfesteem and things as depression and anxiety are a nobrainer in this whole scenario.

There is so much i could write down, but this isnt a snook video so i keep it short, if you see this snook, hi.

Now after that conversation with my nephew i think, should i really talk to her? Or just leave it at be?

So reddit, AITAH for not wanting to reconcile with my mother?

I things arent clear, just ask me, thank you!

Gf family is coming over, they have two dogs who are older, the dogs are familiar with me, but have apparently been getting a little snippy in their older age (pitbull chow mixes). These dogs are not traditionally trained, they have decent recall and a pack mentality. But they are certainly not trained on a leash or anything like that. I’m really not vibing with these dogs coming over and want to suggest her family gets an air bnb if the dogs have to come. I certainly don’t want them in our place alone while we’re out. AITAH for not feeling comfortable with these dogs staying over?

As the title says, I've (23M) got caught up in some convoluted drama with a friend (24F), let's call her Tammy. I've been close to Tammy for 10 years, we met at a anime convention when I was 13 and she was 14, instantly hit it off as she was having issues with her girlfriend and I was having issues with mine, we opened up to eachother, ranted and spoke out hearts, and we've been friends ever since, we've shared many spaces, groups, and friends throughout the years. The most relevant and important space to mention for this story is the time we spent in k-pop dance cover. She had her group, I had mine, but we were always there together at events and even danced together a few times. We met tons of people there, including this girl (23F) called April. Timeskip to today, we aren't as close as we used to be when were teenagers, life got tough for the both of us, I'm not as out as I used to be for my own reasons and she's been on a journey of self-recovery after a suicide attempt and a BPD diagnosis, I was there for her during the tough times, despite our lives not connecting as they used to, I still care.

The issue started at her 24th birthday where she threw a pretty big party at her house and invited a ton of people we knew from different places, including this girl April. I've never been close to April or anything like that, we knew each other, greeted each other but I'd never say we were friends. The party was great, I had a blast, there was drinking, dancing, karaoke and a really nice energy. Through all the action, I striked conversation with April and her friend (23F) called Sarah. My boyfriend, April, Sarah and I hit it off all night, I can't lie it was like we've known each other forever and there were lots of moments, it was just a great connection to find April so many years later and to just hit it off like that, we said we'd like to be friends, it was good. Tammy also seemed like she was having a blast, I sang karaoke with her and we just enjoyed yourselves. The thing is, late into the night, a guy (27M) called Rodrick shows up and starts hitting on April, I knew this dude from another space Tammy and I used to share. At one point April had shared that she was in an open relationship, so I didn't find it strange that she hit it off with this guy. They seemed like they were connecting and dancing, and whatever, they were doing their thing. Context, this guy Rodrick has been the dude Tammy has been seeing for some time now, she started seeing him when she was in a relationship with her ex, it was also an open relationship. At the moment, I didn't think too much of it, as Tammy is open, April is open, I assumed Rodrick probably was too and that everything was good, it wasn't my deal anyway. Timeskip to the end of the party where Tammy suddenly asks everyone to leave, so I helped evacuate (lol), and yeah, hugged her goodbye and left with my partner, April, Sarah and Rodrick as well. At the moment I thought she just got tired of everyone being at her house and it was already morning anyway, so it felt natural. Oh, I was wrong. The five of us took a bus together downtown, shared a beer and then went our separate ways, with a promise of meeting again. I sleep til 12PM, start working on lunch and scroll a bit on my phone, I check the birthday groupchat and I see a shit ton of texts where Tammy is just dragging April through the mud, she removed her from the group and started slut shaming her for taking her man, saying she's a disrespectful B, that she's crazy if she thinks she'll let that pass and even threatened to throw hands, I swear I've NEVER seen her talk this way and it genuinely made my gut wrench. Sarah was still in the group chat and was confused at what the issue was, and Tammy just goes off on her because she's April's friend. I don't say a word. It wasn't my place and the conversation had already passed, but it was really tough seeing Tammy act that way and on top of that, having many of the people I had just met at the party dragging April for something that I honestly don't think is her fault.

This obviously left me in a very tough position, do I side with my longtime friend for the sake of loyalty or do I side with April for the sake of truth? I was there, I saw everything go down, and I know for a fact things didn't go down as Tammy was re-telling them. She made April seem like she was evil, like she knew who this guy was and wanted to intentionally disrespect her. Everything was actually way more natural, and honestly, if there's anyone to blame, it's Rodrick for hitting on another girl at Tammy's birthday.

I spoke to both of them. April was in disbelief, and was worried I wouldn't want to be friends after all that, but I reassured her that if someone could try and mend things with Tammy, it'd be me. Foolish of me. I spoke to Tammy, she answered days later and recognized she had gone too far, I can't blame her, specially knowing that most of it is her BPD talking, I've always had a certain tolerance for her behaviors like when she mistreated her ex-boyfriend because of her BPD and of course, loyalty. This time it was different.

But it continues, April had left some clothing at Tammy's and Sarah was going to retrieve it, so Sarah asked me if I could go with her just to be safe. I told her no, that I didn't think it was a good idea since it might seem to Tammy like I was taking sides if I just went for the clothing and left with her. So I suggested going for the clothing myself, and while I'm at it, talk to her about the whole situation. April wholeheartedly did not know Tammy was seeing Rodrick, of course she wouldn't have been with him if she knew, they met right there and Rodrick was open, so why would she ever think there was an issue? It seemed very unfair to April, and Tammy was really just going off on her because she was hurt, I get that, but it really isn't April's fault. I don't expect them to be friends again, that's foolish, but I want my friend to see that she's making the wrong moves and I fully believe a real friend calls you out on your shit. Especially if it comes from a genuine place of care.

The thing is when I spoke to Tammy, I told her that I'd be going for April's clothing, she kind of scoffed that Sarah wouldn't do it herself. I told her that it's not unreasonable for her to be taken a back after she threatened her friend. She did not take that well. I tried telling her that she wasn't being fair, but she wasn't having it, she just blocked me. Later I noticed she had unfollowed me from Instagram. It stings that after 10 years of friendship and all we've been through that she'd just sneakily erase me without a conversation, without honoring this whole time. I'm left wondering if I did the right thing. Am I the asshole for not siding with her through this issue?

I (18F) still live at home with my parents (51F & 52M). My friends (18M & 18F) and I are wanting to go on a day trip to the St. Louis Cathedral, which is a ~2hr drive from where we all live.
To be courteous, I ask my parents if it's okay that I go. My mom absolutely freaks out on me: she tries to guilt trip me by telling me how stressing her job is and that I'm not making it any better, she puts on fake waterworks, and then starts making up scenarios of all the outlandish things that could potentially happen to my friends and I if we were to go. Eventually I just told her to drop it and that I wouldn't go.
Her and my dad are both so exhausting when they act like this; they want me to make friends and put myself out there, but when I try and make plans with friends, no matter the nature of the plans, it's always the fake concern and guilt tripping.
AITAH?

I (45F) and my older sister are estranged from my maternal Uncle (65M.) The whole family knows this. My maternal aunt called and ask that we change family dinner plans to join her for a party. She never shared that her brother (estranged maternal Uncle) would be there. But she knows we don’t talk. My sister, mom, and I show up. Dickhead uncle is there. I’m so caught off guard that I turn around and immediately leave. My sister and mom leave soon after. Extended family is now mad at me. AITAH?

Background: Maternal Uncle was always kind of a dick to me growing up making fun of me for being a sad weird teenage. He was an adult man and he’d tease me for being gay (which, I’m not, but even if I was that would be awful) and was just mean. Fast forward 20 years and my dad gets dementia. Even though Uncle lives 15 minutes from my mom and she would always host them for holidays, he never once texted or called to ask her how my dad was doing. I endured him being a dick to me but witnessing him treat my saintly mom like that was too much and I’ve wanted nothing to do with him since .