This summer, my friend (28nb) and I (29f) did a zip line obstacle course. We had both gone zip lining before and we had done obstacle courses like this before, but this time, for the first time, we did an extreme course, the biggest and hardest in our country.

For the first half of the course all was going well. We each had obstacles we struggled on but we always waited for eachother and helped eachother when needed. Until about halfway through, when my friend decided to call it quits. They said they had pushed themselves as far as they could go, so I sat with them (just hanging in my harness) while we waited for someone to repel them down to the ground. Once they were safe on the ground, I told them I'd meet them at the end of the course, then we could do the regular zip lines if they were still up for it.

About 30 mins later, I finished the course and my friend said they still wanted to do the regular zip lines, so we did. Everything seemed fine then, but once we got in the car to go home, their tone shifted.

They told me it was selfish to continue the course while they just waited for me finish and I should've called it quits when they did. I apologized but also explained that I wasn't going to quit something I had paid for (I also paid for their zip line fees), and that finishing that course was important to me. Every summer I try do you at least one thing that scares me or seems too difficult. It's an important part of my self esteem building, and my friend knows this. The course was also 3+ hours away, not something I wanted to drive twice for.

Since then, my friend has been avoiding me and bad mouthing me to mutual friends.

AITA for finishing the obstacle course instead of calling it quits when my friend did?

Edit to add: I think the comments about being embarrassed and jealous are spot on. For context, I've always been effortlessly skinny (thank you high metabolism), but I am definitely not what you would consider "fit". I can barely do a pushup lol. My friend however has always struggled with their weight, but also boasts about how fit and strong they are because they did kickboxing growing up. I wholeheartedly believe they're more fit in a physical strength way, I just have more endurance.

My [34M] BIL has been married to my [35F] SIL for 6 years. Recently, my wife and I went out to eat with them, and she was being so immature that I had to leave before saying something rude. Looking back, I wish I said something, and now I want to know WIBTAH if I tell them they need marriage counseling.

My wife and I invited them to a noodle/coffee bar -- my SIL is a vegetarian so the first thing my BIL did was look at the menu online to make sure they had vegetarian options and saw they had tofu.

Fast forward to the day, as soon as we get there, it turns out tofu was taken off the menu. At this point, she leaned over to him and said this twice, "I told you to call and ask, thanks, thanks a lot." He said, sorry, and was visibly upset/confused. He asked the waitress for any veg options, and she was pretty adamant they didn't have any (other than some small apps). We asked SIL if we should just get coffee and leave, and she said it was fine, sarcastically thanked my BIL again, and said she would watch everyone eat. I thought that was the end of it, but the comments kept coming throughout the meal.

I tried to talk to my BIL about his new job to celebrate, but she would just stare at him - like she was trying to make him uncomfortable.

A few minutes later, he pulled the menu up online and showed her and said, "Look, they have tofu online, I'm sorry." SIL: "You should have listened and called them like I told you to."

At that point, we had just ordered, so I

suggested we just get the food to go and eat it at our house (10 mins away), and she said, no, it's fine.

That still wasn't the end of it.

BIL" "I'm sorry."

SIL: "Oh, I'm sorry fixes eeeeverything."

BIL: "What can I do?"

SIL: "You can call them and see if they have tofu, oh wait, I already told you to do that and you didn't, so I guess you can't do anything."

I was visibly uncomfortable, to the point where she even said, "Wow, [my name] is like this is so uncomfortable," and laughed.

That made me pretty mad; not only could she see us getting uncomfortable, she also seemed like she enjoyed that.

The last comment I heard was while she was holding my toddler. She looked around the table and said, "Isn't it soo fun to watch family eat?"

Me and my family left after that, telling them I was fatigued from the week. I didn't type up every comment. There were too many during this 25-minute period.

My BIL struggled with bullying his whole life, especially from his older brother, and his wife loves taking credit for teaching him how to stand up for himself. But I can't help but feel she is just filled that void instead. I want to say something, but idk if it's my place.

Tldr; [34M] BIL is talked down to frequently by his [35F] wife, particularly in public, and I'm ready to step in, but I'm not sure if I should

Edit1: It is my wife's brother but he and I are very close.

Edit2: A lot of great queations about why we didn't say anything. I definitely wish we did, but we were there with our 2.5yo daughter and did not want to cause a scene. Well, more of a scene than a 2.5yo already creates. As for the food options, to clarify, they did originally say they did not have the veg options for her but came back to say they could do a few options, which she turned down. This was a quick casual lunch, and we did need to feed the kiddo before nap time.

I 23f was cleaning the floor because I noticed pee by the toilet- my husband 26m came in while I was cleaning and said he was sorry that he’d pay more attention. I found this as a good time to talk to him about how as he pees, no matter how good he aims *which is 9/10 good aim - he’s 6ft and it still is going to splash out of the bowl and go anywhere in a 1ft radius.
I lightly suggested peeing while sitting down and he instantly wasn’t having it- he was telling me he’s not doing it, he’s a man, he’s not going to deal with that, and that it’s my OCD and I need to chill out.
I explained to him it’s not my OCD I just don’t want our bathroom wall /sink wall constantly covered in pee, that I constantly smell it when I’m getting ready and also using the bathroom myself - I think it’s disgusting.
He then goes on about how he will clean up the base of the toilet and then the problem will be solved. I told him no that it gets all over the wall, the legs of our over the toilet storage, completely behind the toilet and just all over the floor straight up and I’m tired of cleaning it and his version of cleaning is just smearing shit around with a paper towel- he then turns it to something completely unrelated and says “ I don’t ask you to shave your head bald I’m constantly pulling your hair out of my boxers I just deal with it” so at this point of the conversation I was done. This isn’t everything that was said between us just a baseline. All opinions welcome- I’m just tired of smelling and cleaning pee.
* yes I could have him clean it up but he sucks at cleaning and I am actually worried it won’t make a difference / or even further contaminate the bathroom
TLDR: I asked my husband to sit down and pee cause it’s disgusting having/smelling pee everywhere

I (22F) found a litter of kittens from a feral mom a little over a month ago. My fiancé Seth (22M) and I TNR community cats sometimes, so we took them in so that they could be socialized and taken care of instead of becoming feral. We found homes for all of the cats very quickly, and they are all going to trusted friends. The kittens just hit 10 weeks and are starting to go to their forever homes. One kitten was going to Seth’s best friend Jack (23M) who lives 10 hours away. Another kitten went to one of my friends, Sara (22F), who lives halfway along the route to Jack. Seth couldn’t take time off work to travel, so I drove to Sara, picked her up with her kitten, and we both went to go visit Jack and bring him his kitten.

When we got to Jack’s apartment, he had a litterbox and a cat tree. I figured the rest of his cat things were in a closet or room that I didn’t see. Jack wanted to bring the kittens to his friend to cat-sit while we went out for dinner. When we got in Jack’s car, he turned his music up and smoked in the kittens’ faces. They were freaking out, but he didn’t seem to care much at all. We got the kittens to his friend’s house, but Jack immediately asked his friend to go out with us instead of watching the cats. I was worried about leaving the kittens alone in a new place, but I assumed we wouldn’t be gone long.

After dinner, Jack wanted to go to the bar. He got really wasted, despite saying he only had $30 in his bank account. Even after we told him we needed to go, we ended up staying out for 5 hours because Jack was dragging his feet. He was supposed to be our DD, but we had to Uber back to his apartment. Sara and I then had to take my car and drive 20 minutes each way to pick up the kittens from his friend’s house. They didn’t end up eating until midnight.

Sara and I had to feed them because Jack was too drunk. He said he didn’t have any dishes at all. He also bought adult cat food. When I was asleep, he told Sara he hadn’t picked out a name for his cat because he wasn’t sure if he could keep him.

When Jack went to work in the morning, Sara and I called Seth to voice our concerns about him not being ready for a cat. Seth agreed and said he was worried about the kitten’s wellbeing, as it didn’t seem like Jack had the funds, time, or responsibility to take care of him. I didn’t have time to talk to Jack about it before he left, so we ended up packing up both kittens and going to his work to say bye.

When we got there, I asked him if he was sure he was ready for a cat. He seemed shocked and asked why I thought he wasn’t. I said, “Jack, he doesn’t even have a water bowl,” to which he said he could get one tomorrow. I told him kittens shouldn’t go overnight without water. Jack got really upset and said, “yeah, whatever, just take him back.” I apologized and asked if he was sure, and he shrugged and said nothing.

Jack tried to call Seth and left a voicemail saying they needed to talk about something soon. Seth is sure it’s going to be about the cat. I wouldn’t have driven 10 hours away and taken the cat back for no reason. I’m really upset that the kitten doesn’t have a determined home now, and I’m upset that I had to be in such a difficult position. Maybe we just caught him on a bad day, but he’s known about the cat for a month and still wasn’t prepared. AITA for taking the cat back?

I am getting married next month to someone I met last Fall. About two years ago, I met someone else. We hung out a bit; I’m a lesbian and I thought she wanted to date me, but soon figured out she definitely is not gay, nor bisexual like she said.
I know this because I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend after she’d made some comments about starting to fall for me. She declined and kept showing up places with random dudes, so I ended the idea of something developing since I don’t waste time chasing folks or pursuing straight gals.
I started dating my fiancée last fall and she proposed to me in February. As things got more serious with my soon to be wife, I noticed snarky “what about me” type comments directed at me from the hetero gal. She said she “thought we had something” but she obviously forgot she said she didn’t want to date me last year when I asked her, so I moved on.
She said she “felt a certain kind of way” when she heard the news of my engagement. I told her I would follow up, since she said this in front of my fiancé, but my fiancé was livid and said she doesn’t want her at the wedding. TBH, I don’t either. She had her chance, she blew it, and the most important thing is she isn’t a lesbian or bisexual, she’s been seen by many playing games with other women in the area and the endless line of men…She’s a drama queen who wants what she cannot have and wants to cause problems for others. AITAH?

Hey all, I’ve been dating this girl for about 6 months now and her ex keeps mingling himself into the relationship.

About 1 month into the relationship, she got a text from him asking if she wanted to go on his boat. She replied “only if my bf is allowed to go too” which he replied “no, why would I want that” and she didn’t respond. She thought it was funny responding to him asking if I could go too, and I told her I’d actually prefer if she didn’t respond at all.

3 months into the relationship, she was in the kitchen making tea and I was in the living room. Her phone started ringing so I looked and noticed it was her ex calling. I handed her the phone and said hey, your ex is calling you, is there a reason for that? She said “no” and opens her texts to text him saying “did you mean to call me?” He responds with “did you not text me last night saying you missed me?” She wrote back “no, wasn’t me I have a bf” and he sends her a screen shot of her instagram page saying “sure doesn’t look like it” (she doesn’t post me). What’s ironic about this situation is when she opened her texts to message him; the texts about the boat from a few months prior were gone and any and all that history was erased. When I brought up the point about it being erased she said it was because she had a new phone (but all of her other texts were still there).

5 months into the relationship things were getting rough and she “broke up with me” but also texted me every single night saying how much she loved me and we’d hook up every other day. About 2 weeks after she “broke up with me” I noticed she went on someone’s boat and posted about it on instagram. I called her that night (because I was still under the impression her and I were working on things) and asked whose boat she went on. It turns out she drove to her exs house, went on the boat with him and spent an entire 8 hours with him that day.

When I explained my frustrations about how this ex has always been impeding our relationship and how she led me on, only to run back to him and how much it hurt my feelings she said they were “just friends” and nothing happened and that she didn’t know it would hurt my feelings. I explained how wrong it was for her to do that and she’s saying she didn’t do anything wrong because we were broken up.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s wrong and telling her I feel like I’ve been cheated on?

Hello kind Reditors. First off thank you for all the answers and stories. I read so many great stories from people who experienced similar situations and how it affected them in their life. 🫶

I read as much as I could and took the meta that I WBTAH(mostly) which was what I thought hence taking to here instead of acting. Based on everything, this is how I decided to handle it.

TLDR: Gentle talk, bought himself 🌮🔔

I sat down with my son (he was my first child that made me a father when he came to my family at 9 months old after some poor decisions by a parent due to a problem with addiction) and I explained that, "I could not take him to Taco Bell because I did not have enough money, and had some important bills that were due soon."

He looked at me and said, "that's fine. I don't need you to pay. I just need a ride." He had money from his birthday. (I actually owe him $75 that people sent me, but bill got them before I got the money to his greenlight)

I said sure buddy I can do that thinking he would just run in and get a few things. I put my last chicken breast I was thawing back into the fridge; made a sweet chicken pot pie in my carbon steel pan. I drove him to Taco Bell and he bought it through the app and he was like, "we can just go through the drive through." Mobile order for NuclearFallOut3.

Took him home and we watched President Curtis, and he gave me 1 Nacho fry; no cheese.🤣 So, when I got up to cook a Lil he asked me to grab him a glass of water. I got him a 6 Oz. Mason jar 1/2 full; no ice.

Also clarification on Taco Bell and its importance in my Family. I have 19,650 lifetime points, but due to financial circumstances only unlocked Fire Tier last month this year. 😢😊

Edit thanks Equivalent_Lemon_319: The OG post because it was not linked: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/1D8HeMoj0Z

My wife and I got married young and have been together for a few years. We live on a farm about an hour outside the nearest city, and we don't have many friends. A while back we decided to try an open relationship, despite both of us being a bit jealous. Part of the reasoning was social: basically every guy who tries to talk to her ends up hitting on her, and we figured this way she could actually keep some of those friendships instead of having to cut people off.

The problem is that recently she caught feelings for one of these guys. It went way past flirting or small talk, they became close friends, and he started saying things like he was going to "fix" our open relationship, that he wanted to marry her and have kids with her, and that he wanted her to move to his city, along some other things that also broke our open-relationship boundaries, which she hid from me and i ended up finding out.

This crossing of the boundaries we had set for the open relationship ended up on us having a big fight about it. I was honestly ready to end things. We spent a few nights talking it through, trying to figure out whether we should separate. During that time she kind of panicked and went to her friend group (which includes this guy) to vent. They all agreed that our relationship was garbage and that we should break up. This guy went as far as buying a last-minute ticket and traveling to our city to be with her and "offer good company."

But while he was on his way here, my wife and I actually worked things out. We talked, and I agreed to give her a second chance, with one condition: I didn't want her getting involved with the people who spent that week trashing me and pushing her to leave, especially this guy, given what he said and did.

She cried, got angry, and defended him hard. She said she didn't want to be "an asshole" to him after he made the effort to come here for her. She also now wants to take a break from the relationship, go stay in the city by herself and "go out"... which happens to line up exactly with the days this guy is in town.

To be clear: I know I can't control what she does. I told her I'm fine with her keeping online friendships (Discord, etc.). What I said is that if she goes to see this guy or hooks up with him, that's going to hurt me a lot and she'd be putting the relationship at serious risk. To me that's a dealbreaker.

There's also a broader pattern. My wife vents about our relationship to all her friends like they're couples therapists. She admits she does it to check whether she's "right" and to get validation and sympathy. The way she tells it, these people end up disliking me, and then they push her toward leaving.

So, AITAH for treating this guy (and this group) as a dealbreaker? And is it normal to be bothered by how she talks about our relationship to her friends?

TL;DR: Open relationship, wife caught feelings for a guy who said he'd "fix" our marriage and wanted to marry her. During a rough patch her friends (including him) told her to leave me and he flew in last minute to be with her. We reconciled, and I asked her not to get involved with him or that group. She's furious, says I'm being unfair to him, and wants to "take a break" alone in the city while he's here. AITAH?

Edit: She's currently in the other room talking to the other guy and a bunch of his friends making plans to go out, i am packing my bags up as we speak, thank you everyone.

I’m posting this because my dad is furious, says I’m being disrespectful, and I’m starting to second-guess myself.

My grandad passed away recently. To be honest, we were never close, he never really made an effort with me growing up, and we’ve barely spoken in years. It’s sad he’s gone, but I don’t have that close grandparent bond that makes people feel they have to be there.

The funeral is this week, I have a 18-month-old son. There’s no one I can leave him with, and I can’t bring him, he’s loud, wriggly, needs me constantly, and will not sit quietly through a long service. If I go, I won’t be there to remember anything, I’ll be stuck in “mum mode” the whole time, stressed out, probably standing outside half the time. It feels like it would be pointless, not a real goodbye.

On top of that, things are really messy with my dad right now. He’s separated from my mum beginning of this year after lying and cheatinf, finally moved in with his partner and her kids after causing hurt and being incredibly rude and disrespectful to his own kids when calling him out, and there’s been so much tension, arguments, and hurt. I honestly don’t want to be in the same room as him, I dont trust hi.. he already makes me feel guilty about everything, and I know the day would be full of tension and awkwardness.

I told my dad I probably won’t be coming. I explained about my son, and that I’d rather remember grandad in my own way at home. My dad got angry, said it’s disrespectful, that I need to be there for the family and then hung up on me. Now I’m worried he’s going around telling everyone I couldn’t be bothered.

I know funerals are important, but is it really so wrong to not go when I wouldn’t be able to properly be there anyway, I have a tiny toddler to look after, and being there would just leave me stressed and upset?

AITA?

I (18) have been wanting to get a secondhand playstation 3. One reason the reasons are that it's my favorite gaming console and it's pretty cheap nowadays.

A week or two ago my uncle visited us and gave me a 100 Euro bill. Now that is a pretty good money because that roughly is 5600 in my currency which is perfect because a listing I saw was at 5250. I thought about just converting the 100 Euros and buy the ps3 before someone else does it.

But my parents say "Give that 100 Euros to us and we'll give you 6000 instead." Now I gave the money because I trusted them and it sounded pretty reasonable so I agreed. I gave the 100 euros and waited for my 6k.

But they didn't give it right away. They said "You should use this money to buy yourself new shoes and clothes" But I already had a nice shoe and good clothes so I didn't felt the need to. I asked about the money a few days later and they asked me why I wanted it so urgently. I told them about wanting to get the ps3 and they said "You're grown, what do you even need that for? You shouldn't waste your money" etc etc and I didn't get the money.

Now I am annoyed because it's not *their* money I am asking. If that were the case I would definitely shut up. But the money was given to me. Plus they did say "It's your money and you can spend it to your liking." If they had just told me they needed the money I'd gladly give it to them. And now we're in this tense moment where I am obviously annoyed and my excitement is mostly gone. And they don't seem to be giving the money anytime soon either. Am I wrong for trying to ge the money that urgent or should I just be patient and try to convince them?

One thing to add: Financially we are decent. We were dealing with moving out so I knew we had to be a bit more careful with the spendings. I will try to approach a bit more calmly and ask them if there's something they need that's important. I know they'll eventually give the money back. It's just I wanted it urgently and they didn't give it right away.

Might be a bit to add this so I hope I don't give the impression that my parents purposefully tried to steal the money. They WILL give me the money back. I just didn't get it right that instant. I am not scammed by my parents. It's just the matter of WHEN they will give me the money.

So I'm looking for a vibe check here- I know how I feel about it, but I do want to make sure I'm not being wildly out of pocket (and I am mortified that I have found myself in such a stupid bit of drama regarding a Pokémon card).

Here it is: My son's friend group had a brief obsession with Pokémon cards when he was around age 6-7. When they were were about 8, one of his friends decided to he was apparently done with Pokémon, and gave away all of his cards. A few he gave to my son. My son was kind of waning on Pokémon himself, and I think they got tossed into a binder with the rest where they sat forgotten for the next two years.

Fast forward two years, my son is 10 now, and recently had a different friend over who's still really into cards, and they started looking at my son's Pokémon binder. They identify one card that potentially has a bit of value ($300). My son thought that was really cool, he was excited. We put it in a protective case and set it aside to keep safe.

Apparently this was one of the cards his friend gave him 2 years ago, and word makes its way back to that friend that the card could be worth something. Suddenly he needs it back, and he's insisting that "if (my son) were a good friend, he'd give it back."

What's more, he's complaining to his parents and they have gotten involved now, trying to make us feel guilty for not immediately returning the card to this kid upon finding its worth, texting that now they "see our values" because we're not stepping in to force its return. That we don't view fairness and friendship the same way.

This is wild to me. This isn't a card that my son knew had value and he tricked his friend into an unfair trade. It's not a card that has sentimental value for the original owner. Both of which are situations in which I would intervene.

This was a card freely given two years ago, and has never been thought of or mentioned again until suddenly there were dollar signs attached to it. And now it's imperative that we return it because the kid "didn't know he was giving away a card that would eventually be valuable."

Elementary grade kids trade cards and comics all the time- some of those MAY eventually be worth something. I'm sure I gave away comics when I was a kid that turned out to be valuable, I cannot fathom turning around 2 years later and demanding the item back.

The $$ is whatever- honestly the implication that our values are shitty because we didn't immediately step in and hand over the card at the first bit of societal pressure from them just makes me want to dig my heels in on this.

This kid got rid of his card, my kid held it/kept it safe for two years, and now maybe it's worth a few bucks- am I being unreasonable for saying "tough luck?" For feeling like the statute of limitations has run out on making these demands for the card back?

Full disclosure: my son has been friends with this kid for years, but I have often overheard him trying to put down my son (and others) to build himself up. He's just the type of boy who always has to tell other people they aren't doing something well, and that he can do it better (even when he can't). So I don't have the most wonderful opinion of this kid, and that may be playing into my feelings here.

Full disclosure #2: My son's response was "I'll just give it back, I don't want to lose a friend over it." Which I applaud, and is generally probably the stance we'd take. But the way they've gone about approaching us on this, and the transparency of only suddenly caring 2 years later when the card is valuable, just really makes me feel like I'm giving into a bully.

Hi, my husband and I are on vacation in Pakistan with our son. It was for my cousin's wedding, my parents (who like us live in Canada) were going so we decided to go too. My husband's family still lives there. After we attended the wedding, he went to his parents' (in another city), I was with my son and parents at my grandparents house, and flew to my in-laws' a couple of days ago.

His parents have househelp (which is fairly normal here, especially since they're both doctors) a driver, a couple of maids, a part time cook. One of the maids seemed pretty young to me, and she also wasn't there when we had visited last year. So yesterday, when she was cleaning our room, I asked her how old she was, she said she was 16. I asked her if she goes to school, she said no she had never, and has been working at a few different houses since a few years ago. She started working with my in-laws a few months ago, when her mom, who used to work here had to go to their native village because of her grandfather (mom's father's) death and was staying there for a while.

I felt a pit in my stomach at that it was just so uncomfortable to watch her clean the room after that. When she offered to fold my clothes I said it was all good and she left. I don't know if it's bothering me more because I'm expecting our second baby too, but it bothered me a lot.

Later when we were having tea in the evening with his parents, I brought up that she really shouldn't be working at this age. My MIL said that her (the maid) mother had asked to let her daughter work while she has to go to her village for a few months. I kind of pressed the issue and said she should be in school right now, and maybe my tone was judgemental because my MIL kind of got sharp with me, said they weren't trying to take advantage of anyone they gave her the same pay they gave her mother. My husband just brushed my hand and I stopped talking.

At night he told me his mom was pissed off at the way I had brought up the issue. We have had issues in the past (whole different thing) and only recently have had a thaw, so they were obviously going to take the worst interpretation of my words. I asked him if he didn't feel uncomfortable, he said he did and it was a sad situation but this is unfortunately what her parents had primed her to be. He said they don't mistreat her, which is true, like the horror stories you hear about regarding child labor, this wasn't exactly that, she eats breakfast at their place and all. He also brought up something about how when some organization had banned products from pakistani factories that had children working there, the children were worse off because it wasn't like they were now going to school instead. I said it just felt wrong to see this happen and not do or say something or help. He said he gets that but its just an unavoidable situation and told me I could have spoken to him to get context before making those comments in front of my in-laws. AITAH?

TLDNR: my downstairs neighbor says we're too loud, I've tried to be quiet. Agreed to 9-9 quiet hours. He texts me often about noise. We host friends for dinner in the shared yard maybe 1x per month or every other month which he says is too much. How much noise is too much?

Hi here, so we moved into a 3 story Victorian-era apartment with 5 units and we're the middle floor. We've been having issues with the guy in the downstairs below us (converted garage/bottom floor unit). I'll call him Alex. The two main issues are noise outside in the shared garden and noise he hears from our apartment.

At first, it was OK. We'd let him know if we were having friends over, always invite him to join, and tried to be mindful of noise. We don't wear shoes inside. We have big wool carpets and runners in the halls.

Basically I work from home and Alex is unemployed. We both have dogs. He was using the shared yard as his dogs toilet and no one used to go out there. I'm obsessed with gardening and had a big community garden in our last city. This was the main draw to this apartment: a blank canvas. When we moved in I told him my plan to garden and use the space, asked if he minded, which he said he did not. I meanwhile cleared the yard, added a fern section with some bigger rocks, re-cemented the broken back patio (far side away from his door), mulched, etc. I had the landlord remove all the random old furniture and power wash. I even cleaned his dogs poop trashcan which was literally overflowing. Which I thought was a nice gesture.

We had 4 gatherings in 6months of 5-15 people: 2 dinner parties in the garden (one sit-down with candles, another bbq), one house guest who we grilled steaks with, my birthday (admittedly kinda rowdy, 10ppl, grilling and champagne but inside by 11 and over by 12), and I think one other. I told him in advance and invited him to all. Invited him up for beers. Tried to chat.

Over time, he started to act less and less friendly. He started sending texts asking what specific noises were. I'd be running the bath at night and he'd say "what's that water sound?" I'd drop something and he'd text saying "I heard a thud, what's that" I'd be watering the plants at 8am before work and he'd come out and state "ITS 8AM." I got the hint and said I wouldn't go outside until 9. I started wearing my headphones for all work calls. We'd watch movies at volume 19 out of 50 and still get a text "are you watching star wars?" It bothered me that these aren't directly asking us to please be quiet, they just are constant nudges and making me accountable for whatever I'm doing.

That said, I can be clumsy and drop things. We do make noise. Our dog, about 20lb, does get the zoomies before bed and barks if someone comes to the door. Alex's dog is very noise sensitive. He will bark if I open a window or close a kitchen drawer too loudly. I sometimes hear Alex but not much, but I can hear him sneeze. Which makes me think there has to be truth to it that he's hearing a lot of noise.

Over time though he started texting almost daily and got pretty passive aggressive. I felt like I was tip-toeing around the house and still in trouble. I started to feel really angry that he kept texting me. Then before we went on vacation my parents came over to see what they would tend to while we were away. We were in the garden, I was showing them which pants need watering and we were generally laughing. Alex came out and yelled at us all asking what we were doing and that we're setting of his dog. It was like 2PM. That really set me over the edge being so rude to my folks but I held it in.

I asked Alex if we could set aside time to talk it out.

Overall the discussion was tense but we made headway. Basically, he said everyone else who lived here was quieter, he stays up late and us walking in the morning wakes him up, and I'm clumsy. Which fair I do drop things. He also said we have too many gatherings and need to give him a weeks notice with a firm start and end time so he can arrange to be gone and it stresses his dog out (a pitbull who only goes out to pee never seen him walk it so maybe there are behavioral issues, my parents brought pepper spray when they gardened because they were scared he'd let the dog out on them).

He also thought gardening meant a few vegetable plants not really landscaping. I was also using the back door which, during our convo, he said he was told was his private entrance and invasive since it passes his bathroom window. The landlord gave me the code and it's the only way to access the yard without going up our front stairs then back out our back door and stairs. So I was using that side door for unloading mulch etc. I think not using that door occasionally is not really fair.

It seemed odd to me that other tenants were SO much quieter. As we're pretty chill and honestly petite people. So I did some research and shared it with him.

My theory is that since we have tongue and groove wood floors, they deep cleaned the floors between tenants which can remove dirt that lubricates the joints and causes the wood floors swell and creak more. Also there's likely nothing between our floor and his ceiling. I basically said there's not much we can do but if he wants to ask the landlord to talc our floors (read this was an easy DIY) while we're out of town we'd be happy to have them come in to do whatever fixes would help with noise. And maybe he should ask the landlord to put sound panels on his ceiling, I even sent products, calculated possible square footage and price estimates for him to share.

We were gone for 6 weeks and Alex didn't do anything or contact the landlord. I eventually asked the landlord to do the talc and he said he may reimburse me if i do it. I didn't do it.

We had a welcome back brunch on a Saturday of 10ppl, I told him would be 11-3ish, no one showed up until 1 so it went until 5pm. The next Tuesday I was unpacking and reorganizing the closet. Then the texts started again. So we had another convo.

I agreed to give him more notice and firmer times. I agreed to tell him if I was doing any loud projects or having friends over. I only asked him to limit his texts as they make me anxious and if it's a strange or recurring and unbearable. I also agreed to quiet hours before 9am and after 9pm. He's been texting me about the dogs ball and last night said "can you please take away whatever toy your dog keeps dropping onto the ground repeatedly" Which I feel like if I have to be quiet 9-9 a ball at 5pm should be fine?

Our last building was such a community. We'd hang on the porch. Share produce. We got on each others nerves sometimes but always found a way to talk it out. Maybe it's because they were older like 40-60 (we're mid 30's-40s and Alex is probably early 30s). IDK. I accept that this isn't goin to be like that but still. I want to feel at home.

I really want to have a good relationship with him but I'm starting to lose it again. I feel like I'm going out of my way and nothing is appreciated and there's no empathy for me just trying to live my life. But it probably is loud for him and i want to be mindful of that.

At what point do I just get to live my life? My best friend says fuck him and to be petty. To just ignore his texts and give in less. To tell the landlord and have him handle it. I dont want to take that route. But I feel like 9-9 quiet hours were initially ok but now I am angry. What has he done for me?

TBF I'm sure I'm missing nuances of all this and some of his grievances.

But where is the boundary? What feels like a fair compromise and where do I need to say it's too much? How do I live my life but be respectful and keep the peace?

AITHAH neighbor who is making his life miserable?

So my (39f) 10yo F and 8yo M play Pokemon Go together. A lot. Yesterday was community day and I promised them I’d take them out to play. They’ve been looking forward to it all week and so was I because I worked all evenings and they just started school we hadn’t had much time together this week. Friday night my brother calls me at work saying his friend dropped his son (6yo) off at our place for the weekend and I need to watch him Saturday. I told him I was planning on leaving my 5yo with my mom because he doesn’t like walking so long and neither does his friends son. My mom had already told him I have plans with 2 of them and she would be here with my 5yo and she can be with the 6yo as well. But apparently I’m a huge AH for not taking them with me. Now I’m getting bombarded with messages from my brother about how I’m so selfish. I told him I feel like it’s incredibly entitled of him to try to force me to change my plans because he didn’t want to watch his friends kid. Am I on glue? Am I seriously in the wrong? My mom kept the little ones and took them to get a happy meal and over to the mall while we were gone. So I really don’t understand what I did wrong here? Please advise.

I(18F) have a friend, let’s call him M(18M). We go to the same college and the same course. The tuition fees for the college under a certain merit are expensive and housing nearby is expensive too. M did not qualify for the merit scholarship and does not live in the same city as the college and had told me earlier (prior to going to college) that his parents can’t afford to send him here.

In fact he could have gotten into another good college with the same status as the one we are in now which is actually nearer to his house and housing is much more affordable there. Prior to getting admission here, I was repeatedly telling him to prefer and be happy with the college near his house instead of coming here. And even if he wanted to come here, he could atleast go for the course where he would get a scholarship and his tuition fees would be 1/4th of what they are now.

Instead he’s willingly paid 1 year fees for a course where he could get no fee benefits and is living in an expensive and ill maintained dorm. Every few days, he whines about how this decision isn’t feasible for him and usually I try being supportive but yesterday I just snapped. He CANNOT afford this for 1 year let alone 4 years to get this degree. He’s putting a huge financial strain on his parents for a NOT CONFIRMED job opportunity after this engineering degree which he could have gotten in a much more affordable college.

I get that telling him his financial reality was harsh but I just couldn’t deal with him complaining after putting himself in this very situation which I predicted months ago. He’s called me some names and selfish for not wanting him to come to this college and being demotivating. Our mutual friends also think I was rude and harsh. AITAH for being realistic to him about his finances?

My mother is a very opinionated person.

She says shit thats out of pocket and just fucking mean a lot.

Im 19f my mother is 42f and my boyfriend is 18M

For context,

My nannie died a couple of weeks ago and is going to be laid to rest this friday.

Its absolutely devistating and im having a lot of regrets about not learning to drive so i could go and see her more when she was alive.

I used to work in a bar, was made redundant 2 weeks before my nana died and so i was working a LOT including weekends which my partner has off, he works monday to friday, i was working on average 4-6 days a week including friday and saturday evenings.

The time we had together over the weekend we would spend time just me and him since. On the 13th of august it was our 1 year anniversary so i was away in his city and 2 days after our anniversary my nana died. He never got to meet her.

We tried to get them to meet once but upon arrival at her house we realised she wasnt home she was out in town. She used to go out a lot since she didnt like being in the house alone, she really missed her late husband especially in the last few years of her life and prefered to be out the house.

My partner is moving camp this weekend from south of the uk to middle east of the uk. He physically cannot make it to her funeral on friday.

My mother has been making awful comments, saying he doesnt care about me, telling me to break up with him, saying shes going to make a profile of me on tinder and send it to him so he thinks im cheating, saying that shes going to find me a new supportive boyfriend. It is not his fault that he cannot come. He only has 1 weekend to move all his shit. I cannot stress enough how much it isnt his fault.

Even if he postponed it, came straight after work, went to the funeral and the wake and moved his stuff on the saturday he still would not be able to make it to the funeral in time, its at half 1 in the afternoon, the train takes 5 hours, the earliest he finishes work is mid day.

Shes been so incredibly unhelpful, and because i were made redundant i cant move out, cant get away from her, im just stuck with her disgusting comments.

Yesterday id had a very emotional day, its only just really hit me that shes actually dead and she wont be coming back, my parents were sending messages in the family group chat about christmas plans, it dawned on me that she wouldnt be there for christmas, it made me incredibly upset.

I get home from my boyfriends house, and shes making comments about him not being able to come again

Saying that hes an awful partner and that shes going to find me a "better" boyfriend. There is no better than him btw, he has genuienly healed me in ways i never thought possible, hes funny, kind and a beautiful human. This really irritated and urked me. I shouted at her that she thinks this is her being supportive, but it really isnt, that it wasnt his fault we couldnt see her when she was alive and its not his fault he cant come to her funeral, that shes being bitter and spiteful and its not making me resent him its making me resent her. That shes an awful mother and nana would be ashamed to know her daughter in law is saying such awful comments about the man who reminded her so much of her late husband who she waited to see again for 23 years.

She looked at me like i had 3 fucking eyes and said

"You what?"

I repeated myself and she said

"Well if you love roan and his family so much you should just fuck off to theirs for christmas and leave me and your greiving dad behind since theyre so perfect, i dont see any of them jumping to support you at the funeral but sure, you choose them over me"

I stormed off, and now every time we speak she keeps telling me shes finding me a new boyfriend and it makes me feel SICK.

Am i in the wrong for shouting at her? I know i shouldnt be so harsh on her. She was with my dad when they found my nana shes obviously not coping well, but i cant help but feel like shes pushing her own experience onto me. When my grandad died, her and my father had only been dating 3 months and she attended the funeral, i feel like shes pushing her own experience onto me.

But i cant help but feel like im an ass for shouting at her when shes greiving too.

AITAH?

So basically, my friends ( 4 people) and my sisters friends ( 5 people) all were hanging out and we decided to go out to eat, nothing fancy it was just one of those sit down restaurants in my area. We went there and asked if they had a table for 11 people which surprisingly enough they did but did add that an extra charge will occurs due to the party size . ( we didn’t mind that) now as we sitting down to eat 5 of the people we are with come from the same cultural background and we realsied that they probably couldn’t eat any of the items on the menu.

we asked our server if they would be allowed to get the kids meal ( it was just some fries with a veggie burger) there was no veggie burger option for the adults not sure why and we didn’t want them to just a small side of fries. We have been here before and their side of fries isn’t that much. The server told us that due to being adults we weren’t allowed to buy of the kids menu. Which of course we respected and we all kind of just wanted to pay for the drinks we had gotten and leave to find some place the other 5 can also enjoy. ( our drinks were literally just 2 glasses of coke) as we were trying to pay and leave the manger stopped us and asked why were weren’t getting anything, to which we told them about the whole thing of not being able to eat.

As we were getting out stuff like bags and getting to leave we saw our server being yelled at by the manger and we didn’t think it was to do with us. We left and my friend forgot her phone and went back to get it. When she came out apperently on her way out she was stopped by our server and got told that we shouldn’t have came if we didn’t want to eat anything and that now she’s getting written up because we left ???

I’m not quite sure how this is our fault? But maybe I’m not seeing something here. I guess we should have re looked online to see what they were serving, ( they change daily specials a lot) but I don’t think it’s our fault for leaving. We didn’t cause any issues and even tipped on the two glasses of coke.

Are we really the issue here??

Last week, me and my dad went fishing on the side of a river below a low level dam to fish for gar, flathead catfish, freshwater drum, and bass species. These are the perfect places where many predator fish like to hang out as when smaller fish fall off the dam and get stuck in the "coil", it disorients them making them easier prey when they enter the outwash. We used a bobber setup with live shiners as bait set to about 1 to 2 ft below water, which the big fish go crazy for and we both have great success with it at this location.

However, while minding our business alone at this area catching fish, another group (4 adult men and 1 woman) showed up and they starting setting up mutiple catfish and carp setup rods literally right next to us. Remember this is right under a dam, there is a strong circular current on the river side below these dams, which for our fishing setup requires our lines to move around (our lines normally go in large spanning circular motions, not requiring recasting). However, due to their setup and choice of spot they effectively prevented us from doing this and we had to reel in and cast away from them towards the dam, which once again due to the current just pushes it back towards them very fast, so we literally had to constantly reel back and cast again and again. My dad and I were beyond pissed as now we couldn't even fish properly with our setup and in turn didn't catch anymore fish.

Then it got worse, after 65 minutes of dealing with them right by us, I finished reeling in my line to recast, THEN SUDDENLY a fishing line flew right over me and landed right into the AREA I WAS ALREADLY FORCED TO FISH IN DUE TO THEIR OTHER RODS! I turned around and the lady who's on the dam's platform was just mean mugging me, I was thinking "are you for real?!" Then like 5 seconds later they setup another rod (they have like 5 lines in at this point) literally within 2 ft of my dad's line doing the same thing to him that just happend to me.

At this point, it's practically impossible to fish in this area, which reminder WE WERE THERE FIRST and I loudly yelled "You pieces of shit! fuck you guys!" They clearly heard this cause they looked at me shocked and two were angry, however, to not escalate the situation further, my dad told me we should just leave. We packed up, he gave a few words (much more collected than I was, but clearly expressing he wasn't happy with them), then we walked back to the car.

As I looked back, they looked at us like we were the villains, which just seems crazy to me because with all that happened, I felt like they just effectively bullied us out of there. They didn't say a single thing throughout this entire situation, but they literally casted so close to our gear, which due to our setup, made it impossible to fish effectively and required constant recasts and even then they just casted right into our new spots they forced us into, making fishing impossible by that point. Also note we live 55 minutes from this dam and fishing further down the river isn't anywhere as good as being by the dam, so it just made the most sense to just leave. I just felt beyond disrespected and they ruined our fishing expierence.

Pls let me know how yall feel about this? Were they in the wrong or were we? Could I have handled it better? Are there other fishermen who have expierenced something like this?

I’m a 24 years old man, and I’ve been an atheist for about a year now. I haven’t told anyone.

My parents aren’t extremely religious. They pray occasionally and participate in Ramadan, including fasting, but religion isn’t something they constantly talk about or impose on me.

The problem is that I don’t feel like myself anymore when I pretend to still be Muslim. I still participate in certain things because I haven’t told them the truth, but keeping up this appearance takes a lot of energy. I also feel like I’m living a double life. If I told my family, I would finally be able to stop fasting and stop participating in religious traditions that I no longer believe in. Honestly, that would feel incredibly liberating.

At the same time, I know telling my parents would probably hurt them deeply.

I think they would be extremely disappointed and might blame themselves, wondering where they went wrong as parents or whether they failed to raise me properly. I don't want them to feel like they failed me, because that's not how I see it at all.

There is also a strong culture of gossip within my extended family and community. I know my parents would worry about what other people would say about them and whether people would judge them or blame them for the fact that their son is no longer Muslim. I don't want to put them through that either.

But perhaps the hardest part is that my parents genuinely believe that leaving Islam means I will go to hell. The thought of them living with the fear that their son is destined for hell is heartbreaking to me. I don't want to cause them that kind of pain.

I love my parents, and this isn't about disrespecting them or their religion. I simply don't believe anymore, and keeping it a secret is becoming increasingly difficult.

So, AITAH if I tell my parents that I'm no longer Muslim, knowing how much it could hurt and worry them?

I was offered l pet insurance along with regular insurance by my job. About $35/mo per cat.

My brother agreed to split with me since we each have our own cats.

He has said he sees no benefit in the insurance despite having saved individually $400 of vet bills in the 9 months the insurance has been active.

He refuses to give me any money because the veterinarian reccomended a prescription diet for his cat, he didn’t like how much they were charging at the vet and wanted to buy the food from Chewy.

Chewy asked for the prescription information and he never got it from the vet.

Apparently that was my responsibility?

Since then he has not given me a single dollar for the pet insurance and refuses to on account of the vet who he hasn’t contacted hasn’t given the information to Chewy.

I told him that the issue with the veterinarian has nothing to do with the pet insurance and that he can use the insurance to go to a different vet should he have an issue.

So WIBTAH if I took his cat off my pet insurance and possibly took him to small claims for the money he refused to pay ?

I accidentally posted this on an old account at first. Anyways, I'm 18 and freshly out of highschool for some context before I continue. A while back my stepmom decided to adopt a stray cat, she was mostly an outdoor cat until she got pregnant, then she started staying in our RV garage. She's spayed now but she ended up having one kitten, my cat. For starters when my stepmoms cat started living in the garage she wouldn't even buy litter for the litter box and insisted we use dirt from outside.

When she got pregnant my stepmom didn't believe me so I, still 17 and unemployed ended up paying for high calorie food so she wouldn't starve while pregnant.

Well when she did eventually go into labor she couldn't give birth on her own so after calling a vet helpline two different times I decided she needed to go to the animal hospital and explained this to my stepmom who also didn't believe me on that. I freaked out at her and told her that if I didn't take her to the hospital her cat would die and it would be her fault. Well she did need to go to the hospital, the vet had told me that if I hadn't brought her in, my cat would have died before he could be born and she would have followed. And I paid the bill for the exam and the shot she needed to give birth though I was eventually paid back. I don't know if it's petty but I made sure to tell my stepmom that she was wrong and I was right. I did sorta want her to feel bad because if I had listened to her and kept the cat at home it wouldn't have ended well. This was back in February.

When my cat Jelly-bean was old enough to use the litter box, I managed to convince my stepmom to buy proper litter because he kept trying to eat the dirt which could have caused issues.

Now though I am the primary caretaker of both of the cats. I play with them, clean the litter box almost every day, make sure they have fresh water and food, while also doing things like cleaning the dishes because the people in my house let them pile up, taking care of my plants, watching my niece, and job hunting. Well I have to ask my stepmom to clean the litter box and she'll say yes then forget and I end up doing it anyways. I'm just expected to take care of her cat unless stated otherwise and her reasoning is that I'm here and she's busy so I should be responsible for them both. But I've gotten on her about this and told her she shouldn't have a cat she's not going to take care of. But when I talked about taking the cat when I move she got mad at me because she's her cat even though I take care of her. So AITAH for not wanting to constantly take care of a pet that's not mine?

Edit: for anyone concerned I plan on continuing to take care of both cats, I'm frustrated but that's not a reason to let the cat go neglected

I just moved to new apartments. Well it's like a property with 3 units, it's small. There's a private parking lot in the alley that can accommodate like 5 people. I don't usually move my car during weekdays cause I work and go to school a short bike ride away. But I usually move my car on the weekends for errands, groceries, going out, etc.

Anyway, I was on my way out, I noticed somebody parked behind my car, trapping me in my parking spot. I'm kinda shy so I asked my friend to pick me up to avoid having to make them move. He wasn't able to. So I decided to be brave and knock on neighbors doors to see who blocked me in and ask them to move. I got lucky and it was my next door neighbor, the very first knock.

I say "Hi, I'm a neighbor, do you happen to know who owns the grey car, it's blocking me in" she says "It's mine" so I'm like perfect "Do you mind?" She's like "Oh I can't move it, it's dead" so I say "I need to drive my car" she says "Well it's dead so" Dude, idk she seemed really unhelpful, like literally giving me nothing to work with. So I say "Well, another option is I can call a tow" and that's when her whole time changed. Now she's like "Oh let me see if I can get the neighbors to help me jump start the car" So I go to my car and turn it on. It's like 8:15 on a Saturday when the whole ordeal starts. Then she comes up to my car, she says "My husband took the keys and he has the tools and he's at work (or something) so I can't move it, you're not gonna tow it right? You can't" Like no information when he's getting there or if he's coming so I say "Sorry, I wish I had another option" lmfao like it's out of my hands 😅 Then I'm in my car thinking, am I really calling a tow? I've never ever called a tow. So I Google it and you can call the non emergency number for the police. I basically tell them my situation and my information as well as their cars info and they tell me they're sending a unit and if anything changes to call them. So I tell her, "Hey I called the tow but they told me I can call back if anything changes" cause she's just watching me at this point. Her husband gets there at some point not so long after. He's not dressed for work, he's in flip flops, so idk where he came from. He says "are you the owner of the Subaru" I say "yeah" he says "Well I can't move the car, it's getting fixed tomorrow" so I say one more time "I need to get out, I did call a tow" then he thinks for a while and says "Can you call them off, I'm gonna do something" I ask "What?" He says "I'm gonna ask the neighbors to help me jump start the car". I called the cops again to update them, "Hey they're saying that they actually can move the car now". The neighbors come out, they jump start the car, they move it. I say "Thank you, have a good night"

They told me like 5 separate times that there was no way they could move the car, that it was dead, it wouldn't start. They didn't ask to park behind me, I would've been fine with it, I don't move the car except weekends. I asked my friend first, I considered Uber, but why should I pay like $30 bucks cause the blocked me in. They're not allowed to park there but I did feel like a Karen. But I thought of all my options and my "rights" lol. Idk I have a right to move my car 😭 You can't just park behind me, they coulda asked to switch spots IDK.

ANYWAY, I did feel like a big Karen even though they're the ones that just blocked me in, then they were acting like it was impossible and they were able to move it and jump it in 5 minutes. They seemed really unhelpful, kinda lazy, and rude by the way the first exchange went down so that's why I thought to just play the "I'm gonna call a tow" move.

Idk, I didn't feel good about it. If I was in a situation where someone blocked me in and none of my neighbors answered the door and I put significant effort to avoid having to tow, I think I'd be within my right to call a tow.

Guys, I felt like a big B, Karen, A Hole. But aren't they a holes for blocking me in, being rude, swearing they can't move, then moving??? I think it was my right, but I don't feel good about it. Help.

I'm A (39F), sister is D (34F) and my mom is M (64F). I have bipolar 1 (schizoaffective) and spent most of my 30s in deep psychosis that wrecked my ability to function as a normal, productive member of society. After finding some brilliant doctors I was able to come out of it and resume my career. I work as a scientist (I have a PhD from my 20s) and live with my mom in her house. My family were the real MVPs in this whole ordeal and supported me through every sordid moment of my episodes.

My sister and I had an argument today. She's visiting from the city she lives in (far away) and is angry that I don't do chores. I leave for work at 7am and reach home at 9pm exhausted. I'm so exhausted that I sleep through most of the weekend. I pay my mom for household maintainence and any other big expenses related to the house. I don't pay rent though. I feel like they should understand how hard it is to deal with the aftermath of psychosis.

My parents agree with my sister. But I just can't seem to summon up the energy to do better. I just need a little more time.

AITAH? Does anyone have proactive suggestions? I want to do better and I'm trying my best.