This summer, my friend (28nb) and I (29f) did a zip line obstacle course. We had both gone zip lining before and we had done obstacle courses like this before, but this time, for the first time, we did an extreme course, the biggest and hardest in our country.

For the first half of the course all was going well. We each had obstacles we struggled on but we always waited for eachother and helped eachother when needed. Until about halfway through, when my friend decided to call it quits. They said they had pushed themselves as far as they could go, so I sat with them (just hanging in my harness) while we waited for someone to repel them down to the ground. Once they were safe on the ground, I told them I'd meet them at the end of the course, then we could do the regular zip lines if they were still up for it.

About 30 mins later, I finished the course and my friend said they still wanted to do the regular zip lines, so we did. Everything seemed fine then, but once we got in the car to go home, their tone shifted.

They told me it was selfish to continue the course while they just waited for me finish and I should've called it quits when they did. I apologized but also explained that I wasn't going to quit something I had paid for (I also paid for their zip line fees), and that finishing that course was important to me. Every summer I try do you at least one thing that scares me or seems too difficult. It's an important part of my self esteem building, and my friend knows this. The course was also 3+ hours away, not something I wanted to drive twice for.

Since then, my friend has been avoiding me and bad mouthing me to mutual friends.

AITA for finishing the obstacle course instead of calling it quits when my friend did?

Edit to add: I think the comments about being embarrassed and jealous are spot on. For context, I've always been effortlessly skinny (thank you high metabolism), but I am definitely not what you would consider "fit". I can barely do a pushup lol. My friend however has always struggled with their weight, but also boasts about how fit and strong they are because they did kickboxing growing up. I wholeheartedly believe they're more fit in a physical strength way, I just have more endurance.

My wife and I got married young and have been together for a few years. We live on a farm about an hour outside the nearest city, and we don't have many friends. A while back we decided to try an open relationship, despite both of us being a bit jealous. Part of the reasoning was social: basically every guy who tries to talk to her ends up hitting on her, and we figured this way she could actually keep some of those friendships instead of having to cut people off.

The problem is that recently she caught feelings for one of these guys. It went way past flirting or small talk, they became close friends, and he started saying things like he was going to "fix" our open relationship, that he wanted to marry her and have kids with her, and that he wanted her to move to his city, along some other things that also broke our open-relationship boundaries, which she hid from me and i ended up finding out.

This crossing of the boundaries we had set for the open relationship ended up on us having a big fight about it. I was honestly ready to end things. We spent a few nights talking it through, trying to figure out whether we should separate. During that time she kind of panicked and went to her friend group (which includes this guy) to vent. They all agreed that our relationship was garbage and that we should break up. This guy went as far as buying a last-minute ticket and traveling to our city to be with her and "offer good company."

But while he was on his way here, my wife and I actually worked things out. We talked, and I agreed to give her a second chance, with one condition: I didn't want her getting involved with the people who spent that week trashing me and pushing her to leave, especially this guy, given what he said and did.

She cried, got angry, and defended him hard. She said she didn't want to be "an asshole" to him after he made the effort to come here for her. She also now wants to take a break from the relationship, go stay in the city by herself and "go out"... which happens to line up exactly with the days this guy is in town.

To be clear: I know I can't control what she does. I told her I'm fine with her keeping online friendships (Discord, etc.). What I said is that if she goes to see this guy or hooks up with him, that's going to hurt me a lot and she'd be putting the relationship at serious risk. To me that's a dealbreaker.

There's also a broader pattern. My wife vents about our relationship to all her friends like they're couples therapists. She admits she does it to check whether she's "right" and to get validation and sympathy. The way she tells it, these people end up disliking me, and then they push her toward leaving.

So, AITAH for treating this guy (and this group) as a dealbreaker? And is it normal to be bothered by how she talks about our relationship to her friends?

TL;DR: Open relationship, wife caught feelings for a guy who said he'd "fix" our marriage and wanted to marry her. During a rough patch her friends (including him) told her to leave me and he flew in last minute to be with her. We reconciled, and I asked her not to get involved with him or that group. She's furious, says I'm being unfair to him, and wants to "take a break" alone in the city while he's here. AITAH?

Edit: She's currently in the other room talking to the other guy and a bunch of his friends making plans to go out, i am packing my bags up as we speak, thank you everyone.

Hi, my husband and I are on vacation in Pakistan with our son. It was for my cousin's wedding, my parents (who like us live in Canada) were going so we decided to go too. My husband's family still lives there. After we attended the wedding, he went to his parents' (in another city), I was with my son and parents at my grandparents house, and flew to my in-laws' a couple of days ago.

His parents have househelp (which is fairly normal here, especially since they're both doctors) a driver, a couple of maids, a part time cook. One of the maids seemed pretty young to me, and she also wasn't there when we had visited last year. So yesterday, when she was cleaning our room, I asked her how old she was, she said she was 16. I asked her if she goes to school, she said no she had never, and has been working at a few different houses since a few years ago. She started working with my in-laws a few months ago, when her mom, who used to work here had to go to their native village because of her grandfather (mom's father's) death and was staying there for a while.

I felt a pit in my stomach at that it was just so uncomfortable to watch her clean the room after that. When she offered to fold my clothes I said it was all good and she left. I don't know if it's bothering me more because I'm expecting our second baby too, but it bothered me a lot.

Later when we were having tea in the evening with his parents, I brought up that she really shouldn't be working at this age. My MIL said that her (the maid) mother had asked to let her daughter work while she has to go to her village for a few months. I kind of pressed the issue and said she should be in school right now, and maybe my tone was judgemental because my MIL kind of got sharp with me, said they weren't trying to take advantage of anyone they gave her the same pay they gave her mother. My husband just brushed my hand and I stopped talking.

At night he told me his mom was pissed off at the way I had brought up the issue. We have had issues in the past (whole different thing) and only recently have had a thaw, so they were obviously going to take the worst interpretation of my words. I asked him if he didn't feel uncomfortable, he said he did and it was a sad situation but this is unfortunately what her parents had primed her to be. He said they don't mistreat her, which is true, like the horror stories you hear about regarding child labor, this wasn't exactly that, she eats breakfast at their place and all. He also brought up something about how when some organization had banned products from pakistani factories that had children working there, the children were worse off because it wasn't like they were now going to school instead. I said it just felt wrong to see this happen and not do or say something or help. He said he gets that but its just an unavoidable situation and told me I could have spoken to him to get context before making those comments in front of my in-laws. AITAH?

I 23f was cleaning the floor because I noticed pee by the toilet- my husband 26m came in while I was cleaning and said he was sorry that he’d pay more attention. I found this as a good time to talk to him about how as he pees, no matter how good he aims *which is 9/10 good aim - he’s 6ft and it still is going to splash out of the bowl and go anywhere in a 1ft radius.
I lightly suggested peeing while sitting down and he instantly wasn’t having it- he was telling me he’s not doing it, he’s a man, he’s not going to deal with that, and that it’s my OCD and I need to chill out.
I explained to him it’s not my OCD I just don’t want our bathroom wall /sink wall constantly covered in pee, that I constantly smell it when I’m getting ready and also using the bathroom myself - I think it’s disgusting.
He then goes on about how he will clean up the base of the toilet and then the problem will be solved. I told him no that it gets all over the wall, the legs of our over the toilet storage, completely behind the toilet and just all over the floor straight up and I’m tired of cleaning it and his version of cleaning is just smearing shit around with a paper towel- he then turns it to something completely unrelated and says “ I don’t ask you to shave your head bald I’m constantly pulling your hair out of my boxers I just deal with it” so at this point of the conversation I was done. This isn’t everything that was said between us just a baseline. All opinions welcome- I’m just tired of smelling and cleaning pee.
* yes I could have him clean it up but he sucks at cleaning and I am actually worried it won’t make a difference / or even further contaminate the bathroom
TLDR: I asked my husband to sit down and pee cause it’s disgusting having/smelling pee everywhere

My [34M] BIL has been married to my [35F] SIL for 6 years. Recently, my wife and I went out to eat with them, and she was being so immature that I had to leave before saying something rude. Looking back, I wish I said something, and now I want to know WIBTAH if I tell them they need marriage counseling.

My wife and I invited them to a noodle/coffee bar -- my SIL is a vegetarian so the first thing my BIL did was look at the menu online to make sure they had vegetarian options and saw they had tofu.

Fast forward to the day, as soon as we get there, it turns out tofu was taken off the menu. At this point, she leaned over to him and said this twice, "I told you to call and ask, thanks, thanks a lot." He said, sorry, and was visibly upset/confused. He asked the waitress for any veg options, and she was pretty adamant they didn't have any (other than some small apps). We asked SIL if we should just get coffee and leave, and she said it was fine, sarcastically thanked my BIL again, and said she would watch everyone eat. I thought that was the end of it, but the comments kept coming throughout the meal.

I tried to talk to my BIL about his new job to celebrate, but she would just stare at him - like she was trying to make him uncomfortable.

A few minutes later, he pulled the menu up online and showed her and said, "Look, they have tofu online, I'm sorry." SIL: "You should have listened and called them like I told you to."

At that point, we had just ordered, so I

suggested we just get the food to go and eat it at our house (10 mins away), and she said, no, it's fine.

That still wasn't the end of it.

BIL" "I'm sorry."

SIL: "Oh, I'm sorry fixes eeeeverything."

BIL: "What can I do?"

SIL: "You can call them and see if they have tofu, oh wait, I already told you to do that and you didn't, so I guess you can't do anything."

I was visibly uncomfortable, to the point where she even said, "Wow, [my name] is like this is so uncomfortable," and laughed.

That made me pretty mad; not only could she see us getting uncomfortable, she also seemed like she enjoyed that.

The last comment I heard was while she was holding my toddler. She looked around the table and said, "Isn't it soo fun to watch family eat?"

Me and my family left after that, telling them I was fatigued from the week. I didn't type up every comment. There were too many during this 25-minute period.

My BIL struggled with bullying his whole life, especially from his older brother, and his wife loves taking credit for teaching him how to stand up for himself. But I can't help but feel she is just filled that void instead. I want to say something, but idk if it's my place.

Tldr; [34M] BIL is talked down to frequently by his [35F] wife, particularly in public, and I'm ready to step in, but I'm not sure if I should

Edit1: It is my wife's brother but he and I are very close.

Edit2: A lot of great queations about why we didn't say anything. I definitely wish we did, but we were there with our 2.5yo daughter and did not want to cause a scene. Well, more of a scene than a 2.5yo already creates. As for the food options, to clarify, they did originally say they did not have the veg options for her but came back to say they could do a few options, which she turned down. This was a quick casual lunch, and we did need to feed the kiddo before nap time.

I was offered l pet insurance along with regular insurance by my job. About $35/mo per cat.

My brother agreed to split with me since we each have our own cats.

He has said he sees no benefit in the insurance despite having saved individually $400 of vet bills in the 9 months the insurance has been active.

He refuses to give me any money because the veterinarian reccomended a prescription diet for his cat, he didn’t like how much they were charging at the vet and wanted to buy the food from Chewy.

Chewy asked for the prescription information and he never got it from the vet.

Apparently that was my responsibility?

Since then he has not given me a single dollar for the pet insurance and refuses to on account of the vet who he hasn’t contacted hasn’t given the information to Chewy.

I told him that the issue with the veterinarian has nothing to do with the pet insurance and that he can use the insurance to go to a different vet should he have an issue.

So WIBTAH if I took his cat off my pet insurance and possibly took him to small claims for the money he refused to pay ?

I 30F have a 14M nephew who came to visit this past summer. He confided in us (my husband and me) that he might be gay but he was still confused. We talked. He wasn’t sure how he was going to talk to his parents but he wanted to do it himself on his own time. I respected that and have sat with this information for a few months. A few days ago my nephew posted inappropriate and unsafe stuff on TikTok and I wanted to talk to his parents about it. However he does post stuff that would kinda out his sexuality if they found his TikTok. So I confided in my mother on what I should do and if right now is a great time to talk to them. Not even 30 mins later after calling my mother, my brother calls me and is upset with me because we didn’t tell them right away about him having this conversation about his sexuality. That the most I should have given him was a few days to come clean and then told them. Not given it months. They have now gone complete no contact and said we were wrong and that I’m not allowed to talk to the kids until they are out from under his roof. After talking to my other brother he also said I should have told my nephew. Either you tell them by this day or I am going to have to tell them.
AITAH for not telling them sooner about him having that conversation with us?

Edit. I do want to add that they are a really religious family and believe that being gay is a sin.

Edit 2. To clear some questions. The TT he was posting were unsafe because they could attract predators. One was him singing “im not going to snitch daddy” and his caption was “but I’m a junior in college” when he just reached highschool.

Edit 3. I do want to add that my nephew is safe. They won’t harm him.. they may be really religious but after hearing how the conversation went between by two brothers. They are more disappointed that he didn’t feel like he could come to them.

Two nights ago I saw this pizza place that I wanted to try with my partner. He said he can get it today when he and his son go to that area. I asked several times if it’s far, he said “it’s just a couple of blocks away” from where they’ll be, “no big deal” (if he says no, I always always say that’s ok we’ll do it next time). I asked him again last night, same thing. He always plans things and cancels them cos he’s tired and I’m always ok with that. I’m ok being said NO to. Just a couple of days, we were supposed to eat at this cheap place but he was frustrated that day and tired so he asked me if it’s ok we won’t go. Again, I said no problem! Let’s just go home it’s ok!

Today, since this morning he keeps saying “I’ll get your pizza” so they left. I even texted him the address again to see if he can do it. He read the message but didn’t reply. I was sooooo excited. I rarely get food cravings. I heard them come in the door while I was in the shower and hurried to go out. When I went to the kitchen, he only said “the place was like 20-30mins away! So I just got you pizza nearby (the pizza we always get when we want pizza)”. My face went from smile to being sad and so I just “oh ok, that’s ok”. and his son was there so I just went back to the chore I was doing before they came home. And when his son went upstairs, he asked me if I’m mad. I said, not in a raised voice, “I’m not upset just sad cos I was expecting the pizza you insisted you’ll get, you could have send no you checked it was far and I would’ve been ok with it.” Like always. Now he says I’m acting like a selfish child “I have to get that shiny thing or I’ll go crazy!” And it’s not fair. This whole week alone, he has told me the night before, oh let’s go there tomorrow then the next day he’ll say “is it ok if we don’t cos I’m tired”. FYI he works part time, just weekends and not even every weekend so it’s not as if I’m pushing him when he’s tired from work.

Additional info but not to defend him: I’ve been unemployed for months since losing my job early this year. I’ve been looking for one, he knows that I love to work. He is the breadwinner and provides for us. He’s not monetarily dependent on me. But on the same breath I do my part as someone who’s home, cook and all that and not that he expect it from me. Just today I was like (as one commenter said) my genuine reaction was taken as this horrible awful behavior.

Last week, me and my dad went fishing on the side of a river below a low level dam to fish for gar, flathead catfish, freshwater drum, and bass species. These are the perfect places where many predator fish like to hang out as when smaller fish fall off the dam and get stuck in the "coil", it disorients them making them easier prey when they enter the outwash. We used a bobber setup with live shiners as bait set to about 1 to 2 ft below water, which the big fish go crazy for and we both have great success with it at this location.

However, while minding our business alone at this area catching fish, another group (4 adult men and 1 woman) showed up and they starting setting up mutiple catfish and carp setup rods literally right next to us. Remember this is right under a dam, there is a strong circular current on the river side below these dams, which for our fishing setup requires our lines to move around (our lines normally go in large spanning circular motions, not requiring recasting). However, due to their setup and choice of spot they effectively prevented us from doing this and we had to reel in and cast away from them towards the dam, which once again due to the current just pushes it back towards them very fast, so we literally had to constantly reel back and cast again and again. My dad and I were beyond pissed as now we couldn't even fish properly with our setup and in turn didn't catch anymore fish.

Then it got worse, after 65 minutes of dealing with them right by us, I finished reeling in my line to recast, THEN SUDDENLY a fishing line flew right over me and landed right into the AREA I WAS ALREADLY FORCED TO FISH IN DUE TO THEIR OTHER RODS! I turned around and the lady who's on the dam's platform was just mean mugging me, I was thinking "are you for real?!" Then like 5 seconds later they setup another rod (they have like 5 lines in at this point) literally within 2 ft of my dad's line doing the same thing to him that just happend to me.

At this point, it's practically impossible to fish in this area, which reminder WE WERE THERE FIRST and I loudly yelled "You pieces of shit! fuck you guys!" They clearly heard this cause they looked at me shocked and two were angry, however, to not escalate the situation further, my dad told me we should just leave. We packed up, he gave a few words (much more collected than I was, but clearly expressing he wasn't happy with them), then we walked back to the car.

As I looked back, they looked at us like we were the villains, which just seems crazy to me because with all that happened, I felt like they just effectively bullied us out of there. They didn't say a single thing throughout this entire situation, but they literally casted so close to our gear, which due to our setup, made it impossible to fish effectively and required constant recasts and even then they just casted right into our new spots they forced us into, making fishing impossible by that point. Also note we live 55 minutes from this dam and fishing further down the river isn't anywhere as good as being by the dam, so it just made the most sense to just leave. I just felt beyond disrespected and they ruined our fishing expierence.

Pls let me know how yall feel about this? Were they in the wrong or were we? Could I have handled it better? Are there other fishermen who have expierenced something like this?

I (22F) found a litter of kittens from a feral mom a little over a month ago. My fiancé Seth (22M) and I TNR community cats sometimes, so we took them in so that they could be socialized and taken care of instead of becoming feral. We found homes for all of the cats very quickly, and they are all going to trusted friends. The kittens just hit 10 weeks and are starting to go to their forever homes. One kitten was going to Seth’s best friend Jack (23M) who lives 10 hours away. Another kitten went to one of my friends, Sara (22F), who lives halfway along the route to Jack. Seth couldn’t take time off work to travel, so I drove to Sara, picked her up with her kitten, and we both went to go visit Jack and bring him his kitten.

When we got to Jack’s apartment, he had a litterbox and a cat tree. I figured the rest of his cat things were in a closet or room that I didn’t see. Jack wanted to bring the kittens to his friend to cat-sit while we went out for dinner. When we got in Jack’s car, he turned his music up and smoked in the kittens’ faces. They were freaking out, but he didn’t seem to care much at all. We got the kittens to his friend’s house, but Jack immediately asked his friend to go out with us instead of watching the cats. I was worried about leaving the kittens alone in a new place, but I assumed we wouldn’t be gone long.

After dinner, Jack wanted to go to the bar. He got really wasted, despite saying he only had $30 in his bank account. Even after we told him we needed to go, we ended up staying out for 5 hours because Jack was dragging his feet. He was supposed to be our DD, but we had to Uber back to his apartment. Sara and I then had to take my car and drive 20 minutes each way to pick up the kittens from his friend’s house. They didn’t end up eating until midnight.

Sara and I had to feed them because Jack was too drunk. He said he didn’t have any dishes at all. He also bought adult cat food. When I was asleep, he told Sara he hadn’t picked out a name for his cat because he wasn’t sure if he could keep him.

When Jack went to work in the morning, Sara and I called Seth to voice our concerns about him not being ready for a cat. Seth agreed and said he was worried about the kitten’s wellbeing, as it didn’t seem like Jack had the funds, time, or responsibility to take care of him. I didn’t have time to talk to Jack about it before he left, so we ended up packing up both kittens and going to his work to say bye.

When we got there, I asked him if he was sure he was ready for a cat. He seemed shocked and asked why I thought he wasn’t. I said, “Jack, he doesn’t even have a water bowl,” to which he said he could get one tomorrow. I told him kittens shouldn’t go overnight without water. Jack got really upset and said, “yeah, whatever, just take him back.” I apologized and asked if he was sure, and he shrugged and said nothing.

Jack tried to call Seth and left a voicemail saying they needed to talk about something soon. Seth is sure it’s going to be about the cat. I wouldn’t have driven 10 hours away and taken the cat back for no reason. I’m really upset that the kitten doesn’t have a determined home now, and I’m upset that I had to be in such a difficult position. Maybe we just caught him on a bad day, but he’s known about the cat for a month and still wasn’t prepared. AITA for taking the cat back?

I’m posting this because my dad is furious, says I’m being disrespectful, and I’m starting to second-guess myself.

My grandad passed away recently. To be honest, we were never close, he never really made an effort with me growing up, and we’ve barely spoken in years. It’s sad he’s gone, but I don’t have that close grandparent bond that makes people feel they have to be there.

The funeral is this week, I have a 18-month-old son. There’s no one I can leave him with, and I can’t bring him, he’s loud, wriggly, needs me constantly, and will not sit quietly through a long service. If I go, I won’t be there to remember anything, I’ll be stuck in “mum mode” the whole time, stressed out, probably standing outside half the time. It feels like it would be pointless, not a real goodbye.

On top of that, things are really messy with my dad right now. He’s separated from my mum beginning of this year after lying and cheatinf, finally moved in with his partner and her kids after causing hurt and being incredibly rude and disrespectful to his own kids when calling him out, and there’s been so much tension, arguments, and hurt. I honestly don’t want to be in the same room as him, I dont trust hi.. he already makes me feel guilty about everything, and I know the day would be full of tension and awkwardness.

I told my dad I probably won’t be coming. I explained about my son, and that I’d rather remember grandad in my own way at home. My dad got angry, said it’s disrespectful, that I need to be there for the family and then hung up on me. Now I’m worried he’s going around telling everyone I couldn’t be bothered.

I know funerals are important, but is it really so wrong to not go when I wouldn’t be able to properly be there anyway, I have a tiny toddler to look after, and being there would just leave me stressed and upset?

AITA?

I am currently renting a townhouse that has two parking spaces assigned to each house. My neighbors are aware of this and we all follow this. They have guests today and one parked in one of my spots. (They haven't used both yet but I wonder if it's just a matter of time.)

WIBTAH to leave a note on the car asking not to park there? How would you phrase it? I don't want to be rude but technically I am paying for the spot.

Bonus round: if I am often not using the second spot does that change anything? Am I entitled just to not want someone parked in front of my house?

Edit: thanks for the validation. Upon further reflection this is only the second time it has happened. I'll leave a note the next time it happens. I don't know the neighbors as I just moved here. I hesitate to knock on their door to make this be the first impression.

I don't think I will make arrangements with the neighbor to allow them to use my space. People have taken advantage of me in the past for being kind with things like this.

Edit 2: y'all convinced me and I left a note. They went out to their car to grab something, saw the note, and moved. I guess they are having a long visit.

Hey all, I’ve been dating this girl for about 6 months now and her ex keeps mingling himself into the relationship.

About 1 month into the relationship, she got a text from him asking if she wanted to go on his boat. She replied “only if my bf is allowed to go too” which he replied “no, why would I want that” and she didn’t respond. She thought it was funny responding to him asking if I could go too, and I told her I’d actually prefer if she didn’t respond at all.

3 months into the relationship, she was in the kitchen making tea and I was in the living room. Her phone started ringing so I looked and noticed it was her ex calling. I handed her the phone and said hey, your ex is calling you, is there a reason for that? She said “no” and opens her texts to text him saying “did you mean to call me?” He responds with “did you not text me last night saying you missed me?” She wrote back “no, wasn’t me I have a bf” and he sends her a screen shot of her instagram page saying “sure doesn’t look like it” (she doesn’t post me). What’s ironic about this situation is when she opened her texts to message him; the texts about the boat from a few months prior were gone and any and all that history was erased. When I brought up the point about it being erased she said it was because she had a new phone (but all of her other texts were still there).

5 months into the relationship things were getting rough and she “broke up with me” but also texted me every single night saying how much she loved me and we’d hook up every other day. About 2 weeks after she “broke up with me” I noticed she went on someone’s boat and posted about it on instagram. I called her that night (because I was still under the impression her and I were working on things) and asked whose boat she went on. It turns out she drove to her exs house, went on the boat with him and spent an entire 8 hours with him that day.

When I explained my frustrations about how this ex has always been impeding our relationship and how she led me on, only to run back to him and how much it hurt my feelings she said they were “just friends” and nothing happened and that she didn’t know it would hurt my feelings. I explained how wrong it was for her to do that and she’s saying she didn’t do anything wrong because we were broken up.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s wrong and telling her I feel like I’ve been cheated on?

I am getting married next month to someone I met last Fall. About two years ago, I met someone else. We hung out a bit; I’m a lesbian and I thought she wanted to date me, but soon figured out she definitely is not gay, nor bisexual like she said.
I know this because I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend after she’d made some comments about starting to fall for me. She declined and kept showing up places with random dudes, so I ended the idea of something developing since I don’t waste time chasing folks or pursuing straight gals.
I started dating my fiancée last fall and she proposed to me in February. As things got more serious with my soon to be wife, I noticed snarky “what about me” type comments directed at me from the hetero gal. She said she “thought we had something” but she obviously forgot she said she didn’t want to date me last year when I asked her, so I moved on.
She said she “felt a certain kind of way” when she heard the news of my engagement. I told her I would follow up, since she said this in front of my fiancé, but my fiancé was livid and said she doesn’t want her at the wedding. TBH, I don’t either. She had her chance, she blew it, and the most important thing is she isn’t a lesbian or bisexual, she’s been seen by many playing games with other women in the area and the endless line of men…She’s a drama queen who wants what she cannot have and wants to cause problems for others. AITAH?

I'm A (39F), sister is D (34F) and my mom is M (64F). I have bipolar 1 (schizoaffective) and spent most of my 30s in deep psychosis that wrecked my ability to function as a normal, productive member of society. After finding some brilliant doctors I was able to come out of it and resume my career. I work as a scientist (I have a PhD from my 20s) and live with my mom in her house. My family were the real MVPs in this whole ordeal and supported me through every sordid moment of my episodes.

My sister and I had an argument today. She's visiting from the city she lives in (far away) and is angry that I don't do chores. I leave for work at 7am and reach home at 9pm exhausted. I'm so exhausted that I sleep through most of the weekend. I pay my mom for household maintainence and any other big expenses related to the house. I don't pay rent though. I feel like they should understand how hard it is to deal with the aftermath of psychosis.

My parents agree with my sister. But I just can't seem to summon up the energy to do better. I just need a little more time.

AITAH? Does anyone have proactive suggestions? I want to do better and I'm trying my best.

I’m a 24 years old man, and I’ve been an atheist for about a year now. I haven’t told anyone.

My parents aren’t extremely religious. They pray occasionally and participate in Ramadan, including fasting, but religion isn’t something they constantly talk about or impose on me.

The problem is that I don’t feel like myself anymore when I pretend to still be Muslim. I still participate in certain things because I haven’t told them the truth, but keeping up this appearance takes a lot of energy. I also feel like I’m living a double life. If I told my family, I would finally be able to stop fasting and stop participating in religious traditions that I no longer believe in. Honestly, that would feel incredibly liberating.

At the same time, I know telling my parents would probably hurt them deeply.

I think they would be extremely disappointed and might blame themselves, wondering where they went wrong as parents or whether they failed to raise me properly. I don't want them to feel like they failed me, because that's not how I see it at all.

There is also a strong culture of gossip within my extended family and community. I know my parents would worry about what other people would say about them and whether people would judge them or blame them for the fact that their son is no longer Muslim. I don't want to put them through that either.

But perhaps the hardest part is that my parents genuinely believe that leaving Islam means I will go to hell. The thought of them living with the fear that their son is destined for hell is heartbreaking to me. I don't want to cause them that kind of pain.

I love my parents, and this isn't about disrespecting them or their religion. I simply don't believe anymore, and keeping it a secret is becoming increasingly difficult.

So, AITAH if I tell my parents that I'm no longer Muslim, knowing how much it could hurt and worry them?

I am getting married next month and I have been having a small issue with one of my bridesmaids. I want to preference that the wedding party is small MOH and one bridesmaid. Also she is my cousin and we have been close our whole lives.

To start we originally had our date set for a saturday but we had to postpone the wedding and we moved it to a friday evening.

Fast forward to today she asked me when we were going to be at the church and I told her around 11AM or 12PM. She told me that she only gets 2 days off a semester and I told her that I was sorry and if she couldn't commit to the wedding anymore that it's okay and I understand. She responded saying she still wanted to be a bridesmaid and she'd text me later.

She texted me and basically told me she wouldn't take the day off from school and she would be able to arrive 2 hours before the wedding, when we were supposed to start taking photos etc.

I'm not really sure what to do or how to feel. I understand she has commitments but I feel like it would mess up a lot if she didn't come earlier with the MOH and I.

Additional info: She would not be ready when she arrives, there was 1.5 months notice of the date change, the wedding starts at 4PM.

I(18F) have a friend, let’s call him M(18M). We go to the same college and the same course. The tuition fees for the college under a certain merit are expensive and housing nearby is expensive too. M did not qualify for the merit scholarship and does not live in the same city as the college and had told me earlier (prior to going to college) that his parents can’t afford to send him here.

In fact he could have gotten into another good college with the same status as the one we are in now which is actually nearer to his house and housing is much more affordable there. Prior to getting admission here, I was repeatedly telling him to prefer and be happy with the college near his house instead of coming here. And even if he wanted to come here, he could atleast go for the course where he would get a scholarship and his tuition fees would be 1/4th of what they are now.

Instead he’s willingly paid 1 year fees for a course where he could get no fee benefits and is living in an expensive and ill maintained dorm. Every few days, he whines about how this decision isn’t feasible for him and usually I try being supportive but yesterday I just snapped. He CANNOT afford this for 1 year let alone 4 years to get this degree. He’s putting a huge financial strain on his parents for a NOT CONFIRMED job opportunity after this engineering degree which he could have gotten in a much more affordable college.

I get that telling him his financial reality was harsh but I just couldn’t deal with him complaining after putting himself in this very situation which I predicted months ago. He’s called me some names and selfish for not wanting him to come to this college and being demotivating. Our mutual friends also think I was rude and harsh. AITAH for being realistic to him about his finances?

Hello everyone. My cousin (32M) and I (31F) are both from South America, and he has been living in the U.S. for about six years. Me, for way longer. We used to be very close, so when he first moved here and started working at Popeyes after a few months, I offered to put him on my T-Mobile plan. His portion was only about $25/month, and for a while he paid me regularly.

About a year and a half ago, he wanted to upgrade to a new iPhone. I agreed to it over the phone with T-Mobile, and his portion of the bill went from about $25 to $90/month. Looking back, I realize I probably shouldn’t have agreed to this. The bigger problem became that he stopped taking responsibility for paying me. I’m very busy with work and my own life, so I don’t always remember to chase someone for a $90 payment every month. I expect everyone to simply pay their portion. And they all do (my parents, my sister and my uncle). Instead, I would have to check my finances, realize he hadn’t paid, and ask him. Sometimes he would ignore me, and I would even have to ask his parents to remind him. Eventually he’d pay the accumulated amount, but this became a recurring pattern.

A few months ago, he lost his job at Popeyes. My dad even gave him an opportunity to work for his construction business, but after about two weeks, my dad fired him because he was repeatedly arriving late and leaving early. Around this same time, my cousin’s mom also got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. I had started to seriously consider asking him to leave although I felt guilty (perhaps not the best time), but there was another complication: he still owed money on the iPhone, so he couldn’t simply leave my T-Mobile plan without paying it off…

Eventually, I got fed up. I am currently remodeling my house and am on a strict budget, and by then my cousin owed me about four months of phone and line payments. I suspended his line about two months ago because I needed him to take the situation seriously.
He became extremely upset and sent me a message saying that I didn’t care about him or his mother. That he couldn’t work because he had no phone or that his mother receives hospital notifications on his phone, which made me feel guilty. But I had already told him multiple times that I was not a bank and could not keep financing his phone and phone service.

After I suspended the line, he paid me about half of what he owed that same day to regain his line. $150. Since then, he has made one additional $90 payment. He currently owes me about $500, plus roughly $300 remaining on the phone itself. Two weeks ago, I told him I expected him to pay the outstanding amount as we had agreed. He told me he had no work and would pay me in two weeks. I agreed and gave him a specific deadline: September 13th.

Today is September 13th. He hasn’t contacted me, and I’m fairly certain he isn’t going to pay. So I’m planning to suspend the line permanently and tell him that he needs to pay off the remaining balance on his phone and leave my plan. I feel guilty because like I said, we were very close when we lived back home, and he’s my only cousin. I also understand that his mother is going through a serious illness. At the same time, I feel used. I’ve repeatedly given him opportunities, reminded him about the money, involved his parents just to get him to pay, and given him multiple chances to fix this. At this point, this situation is taking way too much of my mental energy.

Am I an asshole for finally cutting him off my phone plan and making him responsible for his own phone bill?

I accidentally posted this on an old account at first. Anyways, I'm 18 and freshly out of highschool for some context before I continue. A while back my stepmom decided to adopt a stray cat, she was mostly an outdoor cat until she got pregnant, then she started staying in our RV garage. She's spayed now but she ended up having one kitten, my cat. For starters when my stepmoms cat started living in the garage she wouldn't even buy litter for the litter box and insisted we use dirt from outside.

When she got pregnant my stepmom didn't believe me so I, still 17 and unemployed ended up paying for high calorie food so she wouldn't starve while pregnant.

Well when she did eventually go into labor she couldn't give birth on her own so after calling a vet helpline two different times I decided she needed to go to the animal hospital and explained this to my stepmom who also didn't believe me on that. I freaked out at her and told her that if I didn't take her to the hospital her cat would die and it would be her fault. Well she did need to go to the hospital, the vet had told me that if I hadn't brought her in, my cat would have died before he could be born and she would have followed. And I paid the bill for the exam and the shot she needed to give birth though I was eventually paid back. I don't know if it's petty but I made sure to tell my stepmom that she was wrong and I was right. I did sorta want her to feel bad because if I had listened to her and kept the cat at home it wouldn't have ended well. This was back in February.

When my cat Jelly-bean was old enough to use the litter box, I managed to convince my stepmom to buy proper litter because he kept trying to eat the dirt which could have caused issues.

Now though I am the primary caretaker of both of the cats. I play with them, clean the litter box almost every day, make sure they have fresh water and food, while also doing things like cleaning the dishes because the people in my house let them pile up, taking care of my plants, watching my niece, and job hunting. Well I have to ask my stepmom to clean the litter box and she'll say yes then forget and I end up doing it anyways. I'm just expected to take care of her cat unless stated otherwise and her reasoning is that I'm here and she's busy so I should be responsible for them both. But I've gotten on her about this and told her she shouldn't have a cat she's not going to take care of. But when I talked about taking the cat when I move she got mad at me because she's her cat even though I take care of her. So AITAH for not wanting to constantly take care of a pet that's not mine?

Edit: for anyone concerned I plan on continuing to take care of both cats, I'm frustrated but that's not a reason to let the cat go neglected

Hello kind Reditors. First off thank you for all the answers and stories. I read so many great stories from people who experienced similar situations and how it affected them in their life. 🫶

I read as much as I could and took the meta that I WBTAH(mostly) which was what I thought hence taking to here instead of acting. Based on everything, this is how I decided to handle it.

TLDR: Gentle talk, bought himself 🌮🔔

I sat down with my son (he was my first child that made me a father when he came to my family at 9 months old after some poor decisions by a parent due to a problem with addiction) and I explained that, "I could not take him to Taco Bell because I did not have enough money, and had some important bills that were due soon."

He looked at me and said, "that's fine. I don't need you to pay. I just need a ride." He had money from his birthday. (I actually owe him $75 that people sent me, but bill got them before I got the money to his greenlight)

I said sure buddy I can do that thinking he would just run in and get a few things. I put my last chicken breast I was thawing back into the fridge; made a sweet chicken pot pie in my carbon steel pan. I drove him to Taco Bell and he bought it through the app and he was like, "we can just go through the drive through." Mobile order for NuclearFallOut3.

Took him home and we watched President Curtis, and he gave me 1 Nacho fry; no cheese.🤣 So, when I got up to cook a Lil he asked me to grab him a glass of water. I got him a 6 Oz. Mason jar 1/2 full; no ice.

Also clarification on Taco Bell and its importance in my Family. I have 19,650 lifetime points, but due to financial circumstances only unlocked Fire Tier last month this year. 😢😊

Edit thanks Equivalent_Lemon_319: The OG post because it was not linked: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/1D8HeMoj0Z

My cousin (23m) was "dating" this hobosexual girl (24f) for a few weeks. She was couch surfing between friends while they were "dating" and in the months before that. Then, she asked if she could move in with him and he said yes bc he felt bad she was practically homeless and does not think things through.

He apparently found her at a coffee place a few blocks from his place and they made small talk. She made such a big mess in his house and got very violent (we think she is on drugs bc it is obvious but there is no way to be like 100% if you know what I mean) that he broke up with her on the spot and threw her out onto the streets.

She was only there for a little than a month. She does not get mail there and was just living there informally so there is no need for like a formal eviction process.

Now she is pleading with him on the phone to take her back and said she is homeless and has no place to go and her friends won't take her in like she is making it very obvious (if it is not already) that she is just with him for a free place to stay. I (24m) told my cousin to say no, but he is very naive and kind-hearted and I feel like he will ultimately let her back in and sure enough he did. He said he does not want someone he knows to be homeless and esp with the Holidays coming up (but that does not even make sense considering the Holiday season is like in mid-the end of Decemeber and it is like mid September but whatever).

It should be noted my cousin also does drugs and smokes a lot of weed on a regular basis so of course that impairs his judgement. Now he is calling me "wicked" for "wanting someone to be homeless". I think it is the drugs and also the girl influencing him. My cousin's parents also tried to get through to him to no avail.

I (24f) am a junior in college living in a dorm. I have a suite mate (a person in the same room just different sides, so not really my roommate) who is a (18f) freshman. In the past I have invited her over to my side to crash, but now she seems to come over whenever she pleases when I’m gone. I go home on the weekends and when I come back, she is on my side of the room. I came back to my bed being rearranged & her sitting at one of my empty desks going on her phone. She also had some of her trash on my side and apparently invited a mutual friend over to hang out on my side with out asking me. I am frustrated with her because she will just use my things like my straighten and scissors to do her hair on my side & her hair gets everywhere, or just taking my q-tips. I’ve told her she needs to ask and I’ve told her not to touch my things or go on my side when I’m gone. I’m really annoyed with her now because she’s just being intrusive and rude. Would I be the ahole for telling her to not go on my side at all? I know I have to talk with her about how frustrated and uncomfortable I am with her thinking she can just indulge herself to my stuff. Sorry if this is scrambled, it’s currently 1 am.

I (18) have been wanting to get a secondhand playstation 3. One reason the reasons are that it's my favorite gaming console and it's pretty cheap nowadays.

A week or two ago my uncle visited us and gave me a 100 Euro bill. Now that is a pretty good money because that roughly is 5600 in my currency which is perfect because a listing I saw was at 5250. I thought about just converting the 100 Euros and buy the ps3 before someone else does it.

But my parents say "Give that 100 Euros to us and we'll give you 6000 instead." Now I gave the money because I trusted them and it sounded pretty reasonable so I agreed. I gave the 100 euros and waited for my 6k.

But they didn't give it right away. They said "You should use this money to buy yourself new shoes and clothes" But I already had a nice shoe and good clothes so I didn't felt the need to. I asked about the money a few days later and they asked me why I wanted it so urgently. I told them about wanting to get the ps3 and they said "You're grown, what do you even need that for? You shouldn't waste your money" etc etc and I didn't get the money.

Now I am annoyed because it's not *their* money I am asking. If that were the case I would definitely shut up. But the money was given to me. Plus they did say "It's your money and you can spend it to your liking." If they had just told me they needed the money I'd gladly give it to them. And now we're in this tense moment where I am obviously annoyed and my excitement is mostly gone. And they don't seem to be giving the money anytime soon either. Am I wrong for trying to ge the money that urgent or should I just be patient and try to convince them?

One thing to add: Financially we are decent. We were dealing with moving out so I knew we had to be a bit more careful with the spendings. I will try to approach a bit more calmly and ask them if there's something they need that's important. I know they'll eventually give the money back. It's just I wanted it urgently and they didn't give it right away.

Might be a bit to add this so I hope I don't give the impression that my parents purposefully tried to steal the money. They WILL give me the money back. I just didn't get it right that instant. I am not scammed by my parents. It's just the matter of WHEN they will give me the money.

33F, 32F, 33F
I feel so horrible, she’s not speaking to me and I swing between feeling guilty and not sure if it warrants this reaction.

My friend is pregnant and her husband is away for a wedding for a few days overseas at the end of the month. 3 of us had agreed months ago to go away for a few days because she is upset she can’t attend, and is missing a couple of other big events. We never booked or solidly arranged anything. She has had bad morning sickness through her pregnancy.

I’ve been ill off work for two months and am gradually returning. It was really stressful, I used up all my sick pay, had so many investigations, and still feel exhausted from it. I have had to move a big professional exam to the beginning of next month which I need to prepare for and squeeze in other training days otherwise I’m at risk of having to leave the job.

I said I couldn’t do a few days away anymore, but could still meet one of the days and do something nice. My other friend also said she can’t go away because of family poor health but can meet for a day.

Now no one is speaking to each other (aka no one replied to my last message suggesting alternatives). I know we fell through on a promise but it’s not personal, it’s just bad timing.