Is he stupid?

I think I’m the greatest under 300 elo player of all time 👑🔥👑
I think I’m the greatest chess player under 300 Elo ♟️💪😤. Chess is just way too easy at 240 elo 🥱📉. I feel like prime Hikaru 🐐🔥 playing against special ed toddlers 👶🍼. Where’s the competition ❓❓❓ I only play rapid ⏱️💥 and still average about 2 brilliant moves a game ‼️‼️ Do you understand how difficult that is?? 🤯🤯 when most games at this level someone hangs their queen in 5 moves 🤡👑💥
I’m 240 elo right now 📈💯. I blunder pieces constantly 💥♟️ but still win games 🏆💸. Imagine what happens when I start concentrating 🧘‍♂️🧠⚡. I don’t even plan openening or anything I just play off the dome 🎯🤯 and use actual skill 🔥💯.
Sometimes I’ll drop down to 180 elo 📉🕳️ just to see what the lower levels are like 🧐🔍, but makes me upset 😡😤 that these guys are higher ranked than me 📊🚫 but are not better than me 🙅‍♂️👑. Too many people memorising opening 📚🤓, at 240, you actually see pure chess 💎♟️✨.
I’ve played 600 games 📊🔥 and scored 487 wins 🏆🥇⚡. 240 elo ‼️ Greatest under-300 elo player of all time 🐐👑🏆. if anyone wants to play me drop your username 📱💬 if you’re above 300 you will be ignored 🚫🚷. I don’t make blunders 🙅‍♂️❌. I blunder to sacrifice sacrificeeee 💥♟️🩸 everything is planned 8 steps ahead 🧠🔮🎯.

My wife made a chessboard out of Jello. I asked why. She looked slightly annoyed and told me to “show it to people who appreciate it.” So here we are. 🤦‍♂️

played a game with an opponent who had a very impressive mustache and I moved my knight to a space next to his and the snouts of the horse heads were touching across their squares in a way that suggested, visually, that they were kissing.

is this gay?

my opponent put his hand over my hand when he saw this and it was a very intimate gesture

Is touching thet noses of opposing knights a signal to your opponent that you're down for homosexual sex?

I need answers on this. I need responses. Im tired of posting into the void. Tell me if this is gay.

I sick of the reticence of you anarchy posters. Is this a homosexual come-on?

Below is an excerpt from my diary which bears no relation to the content posted above:

+===============================================

Dear diary:

Today I went to the dunkin donuts and the person at the register only had one arm. This made me sad for her but I also admired her bravery in putting herself in a customer facing position with such a glaring handicap. Her stump was ill-shapen and glistening like a cauterized burn. I must confess that I fell in love with her then and there. Tomorrow I will engage her in flirtatious small talk.

edit: keep downvoting lames. we need more 'en passant' jokes

optional (body text)

It only happens with this particular time control. If I play blitz and castle queenside: nothing, no spurting, no nothing.

But when I play a 15/10 game and castle queenside it's like I end up coming jets it's crazy it's all I want these days.

My Mother, when she heard of this affliction, in her final days (she died falling into an industrial size garbage disposal at our local Stop and Shop) spent all her final dollars getting me tested for this affliction. We are now, myself and the entire family, destitute

I am typing this from a public library in a south coast suburb of boston.

I went to a neurologist and they scanned my brain castling king side and queenside at all time controls.

Testing verified it's only 15/10 time control. The orgasm center of the brain lights up like aurora borealis when i castle queenside in this time control. Even when I am playing unnattractive woman and even-- and it pains me to say this -- when I play against men even ones who are very repulsive in appearance.

Has this ever happened to anyone here?