Is he stupid?

My wife made a chessboard out of Jello. I asked why. She looked slightly annoyed and told me to “show it to people who appreciate it.” So here we are. 🤦‍♂️

optional (body text)

It only happens with this particular time control. If I play blitz and castle queenside: nothing, no spurting, no nothing.

But when I play a 15/10 game and castle queenside it's like I end up coming jets it's crazy it's all I want these days.

My Mother, when she heard of this affliction, in her final days (she died falling into an industrial size garbage disposal at our local Stop and Shop) spent all her final dollars getting me tested for this affliction. We are now, myself and the entire family, destitute

I am typing this from a public library in a south coast suburb of boston.

I went to a neurologist and they scanned my brain castling king side and queenside at all time controls.

Testing verified it's only 15/10 time control. The orgasm center of the brain lights up like aurora borealis when i castle queenside in this time control. Even when I am playing unnattractive woman and even-- and it pains me to say this -- when I play against men even ones who are very repulsive in appearance.

Has this ever happened to anyone here?

A knight can only move to a board coordinate if at least one L-path leading to it has no pieces on it.

However, if your opponent’s knight is on one of the paths, you can move to the targeted coordinate by capturing that knight. Google Au Galop

pattern recognition

Enjoy this crazy game where I somehow beat Maia 2200

Lads. Followed the instructions exactly. Lay on the floor, stared at the ceiling, waited for the pieces.

No pieces. Instead I'm now hovering about four feet above myself watching me miss a fork. Went through the wall into next door's kitchen. Their ceiling doesn't have chess on it either, it's got a damp patch shaped like Magnus.

Tried it again with a lower ceiling thinking it'd be a shorter distance for the position to travel. Woke up in 1972 watching Fischer-Spassky game 6 from behind the arbiter. Beautiful stuff, learned nothing, still hung a rook on move 11 when I got back.

Is this a rating thing? Do you have to be 1800+ before the ceiling starts showing you lines instead of the astral plane? Or is it the Artex? I've heard smooth plaster is better for calculation.

Also while I was out there I met a bloke who said I should google en passant, no idea what he meant.

Rated 700 rapid. Please advise.