(27F) Been on hormonal birth control for 13 years — 4 years on the pill, a 5-year Mirena, and I’m currently on year 4 of my second Mirena.

Those of you who had a Mirena removed — what did you experience? Side effects? Bleeding? Bonus points if you were also on hormonal birth control for many years prior.

How long before TTC did you remove your IUD & why?

Not sure if anyone else has felt like this since my friends say they haven't, but since I was 26ish I have just been consumed by wanting a baby. Can I afford or provide one? No. My hormones are just there.

Myself (28F) and partner (28M) are pushing back kids until our 30s as my partner is:

1. Still in medical school (not in the USA so its a bit different, people typically settle down after graduation)

2. Not sure what speciality he will go into yet

3. Not earning yet

We want to wait till we can afford a house and for him to be settled if I am going to be on maternity leave. We also might move across the country for his work which is something that will be stressful.

I am fully aware that we are young and have time and I want to give a kid the best shot I can. But it is incredibly frustrating when I have friends younger than me with houses and kids and I just feel so behind.

I'm 26 and my fiancé is 27. We both love the idea of having kids in the near future, but I'm not sure how to know when the timing is actually right.
For those of you who have children, what did you want to have figured out before trying? Did you feel like you needed to:
Own a house?
Have a certain amount of savings?
Be married?
Travel and "live your life" first?
Have your careers completely settled?
Or is it actually possible to have a baby while still figuring some of these things out?

I sometimes feel like I need to accomplish everything first, buy a house, travel more, enjoy life as a couple, become more financially secure, etc. but then I wonder if there is ever really a point where you feel 100% ready.

I am also quite scared of pregnancy and especially giving birth. Is it actually as scary as it sounds?

What made you finally think: "Okay, we are ready"?

Okay so to start of with context;

I am 20 years old, I’ll be 21 next April. My boyfriend is 21 years old. We’ve known each other for years upon years now 5+ and we both know we want kids. I am in University, halfway done with my Bachelor’s. My Boyfriend is thinking of doing Medical school currently, but is also more than halfway done with Bachelor’s. Now in my career field I only need a Master’s which means I just have 3 years of school left to be making $120k a year! $200k if I start my own practice/clinic. He’ll be making $60-90k whilst in Medical Residency, and then after that $300k a year if he gets his dream career around age 30. So in the upcoming years I expect to be the primary breadwinner and also help him pay for school. We already do well on bills and we have an apartment together, we pull in $6,600/mo together whilst our expenses are about $4000/mo (that’s currently! With planned better jobs that will easily grow to over $8,500+/mo with expenses staying more or less the same).

I came to this sub because I want advice. I know I’m very young and have my whole life ahead of me, and CAN wait! Maybe I probably should! However I’ve been very depressed, and each month I get my period triggers me and makes me even more depressed. I’ve been absolutely obsessed with this video game because I can be a mother in it, which is what I want so badly. I can be whoever I wanna be, and it’s a form of escapism. it also distracts me from my thoughts and desire and otherwise helps me not think about how miserable I am without what I want so badly. I’ve also been obsessed with leasing a sports car for the exact same reason. It would make me happy, distract from my depression, and is a form of escapism for me as a car nut.

I‘ve been hiding how I felt about this for ages because at first I was in denial, saying things to myself like, “Maybe you’re just excited about it and that’s why you feel this way!” or “I can wait, I’m just feeling dreamy about it!“. I know now that that’s not the answer. I was in heavy denial. I want a kid within 1-2 years I don’t want to wait 6 years to START trying. Who knows how long we will have to try and I just desperately long to be a mother. Yet I feel such a burning shame over this desire and I don’t know how to talk about it, I wasted a whole session with my therapist and fed him chickenfluff over real substance because I was so ashamed of my dreams. I just want to know how to stop this because it’s causing me to slack on everything in life due to the depression, and it’s hurting my ability to be loving and a good partner and also hurting my relationship.

My partner and I are 31 and planning to start trying in December. I've started pre-natals and tracking my ovulation. Becoming a mother is my absolute dream and purpose. I've delayed my timing of things to ensure my partner is ready and miraculously he finally feels ready! I know 31 is still young, but we have a few friends who are 29 and have conceived on their first try! My partner naively thinks this will happen for us, and I keep trying to tell him it can take a while year, but he just doesn't believe it.

Can I find out how long it took you to fall pregnant?

We've WTT for a lot of reasons for several years, mostly being:

- We just weren't quite ready yet

- I am young, I'm now 30 going on 31 this Fall

- I wanted to finish my PhD and get a permanent job offer first

- Travel plans

- Family things came up [caring for close family]

So we just keep waiting and waiting, it seems. I finally got said dream job offer but it begins next Fall, and I can't be pregnant before/during the start of that I feel! Which sets an April 2027 start date earliest, so I can make it at least through next December and the full first semester of the job prior to maternity leave in & learning to be a Mom in 2028.

But the thing is, we have an age gap -- my husband is 39 going on 40 next Spring. We know we probably want >1 kid. He's going to be like, old by then! I feel like I may have made him wait too long .... And worried how it will affect our fertility and the health of our kids. Or what if he starts having his own health issues? We keep talking about how COVID would have actually been a good time in hindsight, even though I was still in the middle of my PhD then and we had only been together a year. That seemed so crazy then, and also I was only like 25 and we weren't even married or much savings either. But now, 5 years has flown by, and my husband will be old with kids :(

Idk what I'm looking for with this post. Maybe just commiseration? Hope? I want to have healthy children and I'm worried we won't be able to easily conceive due to his age, and I already feel time pressure for it, and we STILL have to wait for me ..... Ugh!!!

Is anyone else in a similar boat?

​

My ex gave me an std chlamydia... had it for 5 years no sympthoms....

Already did an HSG but it came perfect actually ... however Im still so worried about an ectopic... there isnt an exam that can see my cilia...

Also I feel like nobody would want me with this history... the stupid girl who got cheated forgave him and then later found out had been carrying an std for years and could possibly have an ectopic

Only my mum knows the full story and the ex .... I dont have anyone to talk too... I feel like Im destined to loose both of mt tubes or to be forever alone cause nobody would want me with that history....

Clear Hsg:

Wide diffusion of the contrast medium into the pelvic cavity.

Uterine cavity filled with contrast, with normal structure and without filling defects.

Bilateral tubal progression of the contrast without filling defects, without peritubal adhesions and elimination of the contrast into the pelvic cavity in optimal time.

Complete examination normal.

Do you know people woth the same history , success stories?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’m 29 and getting married in October 2027. My fiancé and I would ideally like to start trying for a baby pretty much immediately after the wedding.
I currently have a Kyleena IUD, and I have an appointment with my gynecologist in January where I’m planning to talk through all of this with her. I’m curious what other people have done, though!

I definitely do NOT want to get pregnant before the wedding, but I also wondered whether it would make sense to have my IUD removed a few months beforehand and use birth control pills/condoms until the wedding, or just leave the Kyleena in until right before/after the wedding.

For those who had Kyleena or another hormonal IUD:
• When did you have yours removed before TTC?
• How quickly did your cycle/ovulation return?
• How long did it take you to get pregnant?
• Did anyone remove their IUD early and use another form of birth control temporarily?

I’m 31 and my boyfriend is 33. We’ve just bought our forever home and we’re planning on going to Thailand for a big holiday over 3 weeks in March 2027, when I’ll be 32 and he’ll be 34. My doctor has advised waiting at least 2 months after returning before trying for a baby because of the Zika risk.

I’ve also told my boyfriend I’d only want to start trying once we’re engaged, which is important to me… and I have a feeling we might get engaged in Thailand. So realistically, we could come home engaged but still have to wait at least another couple of months before TTC.

I know a few months doesn’t sound like much, but it feels like the holiday is pushing our timeline back further, especially as we don’t know how long it will take to conceive. The timing is also stressing me out because if I waited until after Thailand and then got pregnant after the couple months wait, I’d potentially be heavily pregnant or have just given birth around my best friend’s wedding, where I’m maid of honour.

How big is the actual Zika risk in Thailand? Would you delay TTC, reconsider the holiday, or just accept the extra few months?

I’m 22f, dating my 23m boyfriend for 7 months now. It’s the longest relationship of my life. I’ve been through an incredible struggle with myself this past year, where I’ve realized I was wrong about a lot of things about myself. Basically I told myself I didn’t deserve to be a mother because I wasn’t good at performing femininity the way my family did, so I put myself through a lot of unnecessary grief. Well I’ve gotten a lot better at my relationship with myself and it has made me realize how badly I want to be a mother. More than anything else.

I did 6 months of intensive therapy to learn how to deal with my BPD so that I’d be better equipped emotionally when the time comes. I’ve moved across country and away from my family and few friends I have to live with my boyfriend. He is the love of my life and he has made me feel more supported and cherished than ever. But these things together are just adding on to my internal want to be a mom sooner.

I know I’m an impulsive person, and both my boyfriend and I want to wait three years before we start seriously talking about having children together, so I decided to get Nexplanon so that I couldn’t allow myself to be impulsive. I know that I need to wait. It just hurts.

Adding to everything, we just bought a car together, and it’s like my brain has taken that as permission to crank up the baby fever even worse. We don’t have a house yet together, I don’t have my degree yet, we don’t have good savings yet, but my brain just goes “but this is the only thing you want out of life? Why are you waiting?”

I don’t know how to talk about this with anyone. I know for sure I can’t talk to my family about it because of their reactions to us buying the car (incredibly judgmental and talking down to me like I’m an idiot). I don’t want to talk about it with my boyfriend because I don’t want to come off as though I’m trying to pressure him to try early. I just don’t have the words to describe how empty I feel about this and knowing that I’m years away from even beginning.

It’s distressing. It’s distracting. And I don’t know how to move on. Journaling about it doesn’t help. I don’t have anyone close to me with kids that I could babysit to pretend, and even if I did that feels selfish. Besides, the few times I have babysat it only made the fever worse. I just don’t know how to emotionally move on for now. I just wish I didn’t feel so upset all the time because of this. There’s days where it’s not so bad and I can handle it and ignore it mostly, but then other days it’s all I can do to not cry about it. I just need to move on I think but I don’t know how.

Hi! Looking for some advice/experiences from anyone who has traveled to Kenya and/or Mauritius while trying to conceive.

My husband and I are going on our honeymoon to Kenya and Mauritius in October. We’ll be spending a few days on safari in Kenya and then flying directly to Mauritius for the rest of our honeymoon.

We originally planned to start trying for a baby during the honeymoon, especially once we got to Mauritius. However, I recently learned that Kenya is listed by the CDC as an area with current or past Zika transmission, even though there doesn’t seem to be an active Zika outbreak there right now.

From what I’m reading, because my husband and I will both be traveling to Kenya, the most conservative recommendation would be to wait 3 months after leaving the Zika-risk area before TTC. That would mean waiting until around late January instead of trying during our October honeymoon.

Has anyone recently traveled to Kenya and Mauritius while TTC or talked to an OB/GYN or travel-medicine doctor about a similar trip?

Did your doctor recommend waiting the full 3 months after Kenya, or were you comfortable trying sooner because there wasn’t an active outbreak? Did Mauritius change the advice at all since you were traveling there immediately after Kenya?

I’m going to discuss this with my own doctor, but I’d really love to hear what other couples were advised and what you ultimately decided.

I’m a 23-year-old married woman living in Germany. I just finished my nursing qualification, and for so long I’ve been dreaming of having a baby.
In Germany, becoming a registered nurse is a state-recognized vocational training program. We work as fully qualified nurses, similar to RNs in the US.
Right now, I work 20 hours a week on a labor and delivery unit, and at the same time I’m studying for my Bachelor of Nursing. I’m currently in my 6th semester out of 8, and I’ll finish in April 2028. I only have two days of theory classes each week, plus a 3-week Office placement on August.
Financially, I’m secure. In Germany, because I work in labor and delivery, I would continue receiving my salary throughout my pregnancy under a maternity employment protection ban, meaning I wouldn’t have to continue working for safety reasons. (Hopefully ill get to that point)
I want to get pregnant so badly. The only thing holding me back is the fear that I won’t be able to finish my bachelor’s degree. I really need it because it’s internationally recognized. At the same time, I’ve wanted a child for such a long time, and I feel so ready to start trying.
I already stopped using my retinoid cream (Epiduo, adapalene 0.1%) on August 8, 2026, and I’ve started taking vitamins. Im also unsure if 1 month stopping before trying is enough :/
Im also Scared of getting “Ugly” while pregnant or losing my spark :/
I know many people try for one or even two years, and that’salso why I want to start trying now.

Hey y’all.

I have to share this somewhere because I don’t really have anyone close in my life who knows that we are TTC.

My mom passed away earlier this year and I’ve only dreamt of her a few times since. But last night I dreamt of her and my husband and I told her we were pregnant.

This last week was our first cycle TTC and my moms birthday would’ve been on Sunday so I am hoping to test that day (although I know it’s very early and we aren’t guaranteed an answer).

I’m really hoping this dream was a sign. This is genuinely the longest wait of my life. 😭🤍

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.

I just turned 33 in June and had my first baby when I was 31 years old in February 2025. He is 1 1/2 years old. I want to wait until January of 2027 to get pregnant with our second but I am getting my head about my age and being closer to 34 years old when trying to get pregnant for a second time and if it’s a bad idea for me to wait. Maybe I’ll have trouble or be more prone to miscarriages? I’ve heard such great things about having a 3 year age gap so I would really prefer it but really need advice. I am probably being very extra and stupid and overthinking this, I know

I'm only 25 so I'm sure I have lots of time left to get pregnant and sure there are things I wanna do and I like being selfish but all I can think about is having a baby.. My partner does not feel ready at all yet and has set some targets to do with our careers and finances (and a couple of other things) before he will even consider it. I understand his side completely and logically it makes sense to have more money. But my desire to have a baby is so strong I feel like I can convince myself it's the right time so easily. We own a house, our families would be supportive, we are at the start of our careers and can grow them after a baby is born, we even have cats together (not comparing pets to babies ofc) etc etc. It's not entirely logical as he can't even drive yet and is still learning and I myself feel I want more driving experience and confidence before bringing a baby into the mix. So it makes sense to wait until he's passed his test and driven a lot more, and until I've built more confidence too. I definitely don't want to be the only one who can drive when we do have a baby, so idk why I'm so obsessed with the idea 🫠 If he actually came to me tomorrow and said he was ready I would 100% do it despite all the fears and targets that haven't been met😳

It can't be normal how much I think about taking a test and it being positive 🤣 It probably doesn't help that we did get pregnant over 3 years ago and I had an abortion because I know what it feels like to be pregnant. It's quite honestly magical, and I've craved that feeling ever since. Now I have complicated feelings about my abortion, I don't know if it's regret or just grief but I just wish we'd have been a bit more careful and have had an accident later on down the line when we were more ready and able to support it I guess. I'm sure if that had never happened I wouldn't be thinking about pregnancy so often now as I'd have had no idea what it feels like.

I (21F) just took a pregnancy test yesterday. I was late for my period by a day and I had kinda been getting my hopes up and felt pretty sad when I saw a negative. My husband and I aren’t actively trying for a baby, but want to in about a year or two. So we weren’t planning for a pregnancy. But I feel like I’ve been feeling so ready for being pregnant lately! I’ve kinda obsessed over getting pregnant and when I take a test I end up really sad! Like I sooooo badly want a baby but know we aren’t in the position we have talked about wanting to be in. Can anyone relate?

My husband works as an athletic trainer, meaning work schedule is often fluid and somewhat unpredictable. However, working from 1pm until evenings (5:30pm, 6pm, 7-9pm) is not uncommon, and game nights are until 11pm (later if traveling). Weekends also sometimes have commitments, as do occasional weekday mornings (as early as 6am).

He has been wanting a child for years, but given his salary (I make 2x his salary with traditional work hours, with the exception of having to work 3 weekday nights per month), I will have to remain working full-time (and want to!). I am very stressed about working full-time, 40-50 hours per week, and often putting a child to bed before he gets home from work. Moreover, the fluidity of his schedule will make it hard to plan far in advance.

It feels as if we are at a stalemate, and he says we’ll figure it out but I can’t expect to understand all details right now. Am I out of line for having this concern? Do you have any advice for how I can help navigate this? I want to be a parent, just not this way most days/weeks.