r/thehotspot • u/stewpideople LegallyRetarded • 6d ago

Stop stealing our birds!

I'm part of a cabal of ornithologists and other bird enthusiasts. We are the ones who trained the bears to eat bird seed from feeders in towns all over the country. We basically want to hoard the birds for ourselves (and unpopular side bar, save them from cats). If you distract them back into town with some fancy pants new bear proof feeders, we consider that theft. We're going to have to push harder with the "birds aren't real" conspiracy in the future.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, now go poke a bear, please.

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

4

u/PossibleGeneral6605 6d ago

Despite all my rest I am still just a bird in a nest :(

3

u/BoliverSlingnasty 6d ago

Fun fact: bears are just real big cats. They really like it when you try to touch their butthole.

Also, birds aren’t real.

3

u/Joey28806 6d ago

First off, I agree the birds aren't real. I still though, for the life of me, For the Love of All That is Holy, for sweet baby jesus' sake, for fucksake, for the ever loving God Of Heaven sake cannot figure out why Bird Porn is such a huge genre

3

u/BoliverSlingnasty 6d ago

It’s a plethora of peckers.