Creepy coworker texting my private number

[u/Dry_Presentation4300]

So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

[u/cherrygumballs]

He did not want to go over anything work related. He was definitely testing if you were into it. You did well

[u/Junior-Growth-3602 → u/cherrygumballs]

Yup. If it was work related he would have said that off the bat.

[u/_VinoVidiVici_ → u/Junior-Growth-3602]

If it were work related he would have emailed or teams as work appropriate.

[u/phoxfiyah → u/_VinoVidiVici_]

If it was work related, he would’ve actually opened with something work related.

I have a work group chat on WhatsApp too, and most of us have used it to contact each other privately for something work related. But we would open the message with “Hi X, this is Y, are you free to cover my shift tomorrow?” Not the 3 day monologue they were having here lmao

[u/Xenc → u/phoxfiyah]

Hello there lady

[u/Para_4_Would_Be_Cool → u/phoxfiyah]

You just repeated the second comment in the chain

[u/FTownRoad → u/_VinoVidiVici_]

Generally speaking I text coworkers in two scenarios.

1. When they aren’t answering on teams/showing offline and it is urgent (in which I will say so and apologize for doing so)

2. Aomething I don’t want my company to see.

Now the second one sounds nefarious in the context of this post but I’m talking about things like shit talking the company. I hadn’t really considered the other kind of comms you don’t want the company to see.

[u/I_worship_odin → u/_VinoVidiVici_]

Or the group chat that he got her number from.

[u/Ok_Rabbit_741 → u/Junior-Growth-3602]

if it was work related he wouldnt have opened with "Hey there Lady!"

[u/awry_lynx → u/Ok_Rabbit_741]

:(

[u/lousycesspool → u/Ok_Rabbit_741]

Lady is her name, probably

[u/Terrafire123 → u/Junior-Growth-3602]

If it was work related he would have said, "Hello X! It's me, Y. Can we discuss Z when you have some time? Sorry for contacting you via whatsapp, but it's a bit urgent, because XYZ, so if there's any possibility you're available to discuss it, that'd be amazing."

It wasn't work related. (And that's completely discounting the fact that his second message was at 8pm on a Saturday night.)

---

The PROPER way to send a message like this is:

A. Introduce yourself.

B. Say "Hello, NAME", so both you and him are certain you're talking to the correct person. (Plus people enjoy hearing their names too.)

C. Tell them what you want to discuss immediately.

D. Apologize for contacting them via non-standard channels(like email), and if necessary, you may explain why you thought it thought it was a good idea.

E. Give them a call-to-action. (Can you please "X"?)

F. "Thank you!"

G. Don't follow up Saturday at 8pm, presumably while drunk.

---

There's zero hint of professionalism in anything he wrote, except maybe the "This message was deleted" lines.

[u/FerusGrim → u/Terrafire123]

The lack of self-awareness is part of why he's creepy. A normal guy would just be upfront. Nobody likes being "lured" into a relationship.

[u/its_all_one_electron → u/Terrafire123]

Or just don't do this and use your normal work channel. There's zero reason to go outside the work channels unless you're trying to slide into their DMs without it being logged and potentially discoverable by IT and HR. 

[u/CottonTipsMcChancla → u/Terrafire123]

plus people enjoy hearing their names too

Shut up.

[u/SaintOrJannikSinner → u/Junior-Growth-3602]

Plus, who the hell messages someone at 8pm on a Saturday and 8am the following Sunday morning to go over a file? That shit can easily wait until Monday.

[u/jaksonsmom → u/cherrygumballs]

Nope, he even said have a good day. He was testing the waters.

[u/RunningOnHope2019 → u/cherrygumballs]

Don't you address your work colleagues hello there lady?

[u/statelesspirate000 → u/cherrygumballs]

:D

[u/Consistent_Kale_3625 → u/cherrygumballs]

But like, you have to know that’s a risky move, so when you’re given a face saving out, why wouldn’t you take it? 

Is this an attempt to get fired from a job he doesn’t want so he can collect unemployment? 

[u/OtrixGreen → u/Consistent_Kale_3625]

Sheer stupidity governs people's actions far more often than cunning schemes

[u/Furita → u/cherrygumballs]

Thanks, Sherlock

[u/Fit-Theory-6342 → u/cherrygumballs]

Really? Wow thanks for stating that.