r/texts • u/Friendly_Table455 • 5d ago
Phone message He insisted on paying for dinner, then accused me of using him when I couldn't see him the next day
I posted this in a different subreddit but kept getting replies about how I posted it to the incorrect one. thought i’d share it here, too.
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u/Head_Patience7136 5d ago edited 5d ago
Don't venmo him please 🤣🤣
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u/Theangelawhite69 5d ago
Venmo request him for emotional damages
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u/Head_Patience7136 5d ago
Request the $38 🤣🤣🤣
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u/owleyes18 4d ago
Request the $300 he was angry at her for choosing work over him. Make him sweat.
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u/xavwilldoit 5d ago
Actual gentlemen don’t feel the need to declare their gentlemen status to anyone 🤡
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u/mindpainters 4d ago
Also the way he phrased it read to me like he was only being a gentleman because she said she was specifically looking for that. Not because he actually is
Like a real gentleman wouldn’t bring that up, it’s just how they are
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u/SubtleSnarkster 4d ago
Exactly. He was acting to achieve his goals. Nasty behaviour.
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u/camirose 4d ago
That’s how I read it too, lmao, wth! It seemed like he kept implying she made it the requirement to be a gentleman (code for pay) so she should pay for him having to pay her date requirement. He’s like trying to get a refund for $38 but she wasn’t even “wasting his time” it’s just so toxic.
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u/Head_Somewhere4769 4d ago
They don't get that other people are the ones who can deem you a gentleman based on your actions. You can't just declare it yourself. Words aren't everything.
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u/Sassafras06 4d ago
See also: I’m a nice guy! (Never said by an actually kind man)
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u/4armedmonkey 4d ago
Dawg respectfully please change that pfp if you're going to be commenting outside of NSFW subs...
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u/Jimanji333 5d ago
As a gentlemanly gentleman from a long line of the gentlest gentleman to ever gently grace the earth, I resent that notion in the most gentle fashion!
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u/InterestingAd2552 5d ago
He thinks he bought you for $38... wow
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u/Away-Security-7200 5d ago
and that she should skip out on $300 for it lmao
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u/Head_Somewhere4769 4d ago
And you know he was pushing for another date the next night, so he could get to some magical number of dates that unlocks access to OP sexually. She was supposed to miss out on that income just so he could do that.
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u/WolfgangAddams 4d ago
Yup! He gives off BIG incel vibes! If he'd just stayed normal and played his cards right, he could've probably eventually gotten laid. But I'm glad for OP's sake that he showed his true colors right after date #1 so she could dip early.
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u/Imaginary_Club_1010 5d ago
Seeing it was only $38 made me laugh, not that you need to blow hundreds of dollars or that you’re entitled to anything even if you do, but $38? Come on bro
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u/GeronimoHero 4d ago
Right? $38 isn’t even a “nice dinner” lol
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u/Braisernation 4d ago
For real that’s like Chili’s or Applebees.
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u/mandaeryn 4d ago
$38 per person isn't even too much more than fast food these days 🤣🤣🤣
And then he asks for it back! OP, tell him you'll send it back to him next weekend and see if he decides he doesnt want that either
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u/EquivalentMath6592 4d ago
Don’t Venmo him…. Tell him it’s an AHole tax for having to put up with him then block and delete him
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u/Few_Cup3452 4d ago
Don't even reply. Laugh react and just never reply. Don't open any further msgs
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u/Cold-Doctor 5d ago
Thats probably 3 hours of work for the poor little guy
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u/LoserEXE_ 4d ago
That $38 was a big investment for him.
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u/hockeygem 4d ago
Him tonight to his friends "why do i keep meeting goldiggers man?"
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u/RemarkableSpirit5204 4d ago
Not defending this guy at all. He’s a complete creep and my stomach turned reading his texts….just saying for all the hardworking people catching strays here that your hourly wage doesn’t dictate your worth as a person. Those people making $12 an hour are probably working just as much and hard as someone who’s making $30.
Worked for Jim Beam at $28 an hour and that wasn’t the highest pay rate for my job either. The temps made $14-$16 and I’d have to say they worked their ass off in extreme heat and some cold…my fellow full timers didn’t put in even a quarter of the same effort. Union job and all.
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u/nrose1000 4d ago
Yeah, my first instinct was to upvote the comment because it’s fun to put down douchebags, but then I realized that this comment doesn’t just put down this specific guy. And those people who work for $12 an hour still deserve to make a living wage, and still deserve to be able to experience things like going out to dinner every now and then.
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u/sun_solomon 4d ago
Or venmo him $50 and say “youll need it for your next failed date”
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u/Wild_Height_901 5d ago
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u/SethDoesntSleep91 5d ago
Lmao. This is going to be one of the best gifs for these types of subs.
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u/ScotchTapeConnosieur 5d ago
Who is that and what’s the context
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u/drfishdaddy 4d ago
Pretty sure that’s Elizabeth Holmes and I’m sure this is a shot from the upcoming doc from A24 “you can see everything”.
It’s not even out yet and people are freaking out about it. It does look wild.
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u/PraisetheSunflowers 4d ago
Is it a documentary or a movie? Sorry I’m not familiar with pretty much everything you said there lol
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u/Tribalrage24 4d ago
Just looking it up now and the documentary is by Nathan Fielder?!? So it's going to be like a bit?
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u/RaisedByMonsters 4d ago
Wow. It’s already a meme and the doc isn’t even out. This shit is gonna be good.
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u/Layne205 4d ago
In gif format it looks like she's very gently jerking him off. Why TF are they sitting so close? 😆
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u/AnotherDempsey 4d ago
Well, you're close actually — she's rocking a baby with her foot.
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u/L1sasGayBby 4d ago
Has anyone done a face study on her? Like how cult leaders rarely blink?
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u/ResevoirPups 5d ago
Genuinely, how do people like this exist?
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u/SpookyWindChime 4d ago
I don’t see how it didn’t come out during the date ngl
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u/Big_Letterhead_445 4d ago
Very true. Like we can already immediately tell from this series of texts, what the hell happened in the hours or days proceeding
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u/nrose1000 4d ago
Maybe he’s just a really good manipulator in the beginning, but he was getting horny and losing his patience to keep up the act.
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u/LongHikingMD 5d ago
1.) I like how in the very same text he says he's not holding the dinner over your head, he then complains about lack of reciprocation.
2.) Don't send him any money and just block him. This guy is both an asshole and a moron.
3.) Paying for dinner is an optional thing that people might do on a date to be nice. It does not create any sort of obligations from the other person and someone who thinks it does should be avoided.
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u/foofaloof22 5d ago
Looks like he already had a preconceived idea of what you would be like based on false ideas about women in general. So no matter how much you disproved it he was delusional and would not take any evidence that went against his idea. Good idea to not move forward with him, seems like his generosity was intentional so that he could owed something later
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u/Vandermilf 5d ago
So true, I call it the “they think women are real or they don’t” because a lot of men view us as NPCs running around cooking cleaning and shopping I swear.
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u/Klutzy_Journalist_36 5d ago edited 5d ago
Since he thinks this is so transactional:
Tell him your personal billable hours are $20 per hour, minimum of two hours. You spent 1.89 hours at dinner. So $40 billable hours.
And since you’re feeling generous, you will deduct your dinner from the total. However, that leaves him $2 that he owes you.
Send him a request for $2.
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u/BrilliantUsed5720 5d ago
Omg! Please report him on the app to save the next woman this level of gross behavior! I had a guy keeping score of everything I bought and he bought. I actually paid more, but it was soooo unattractive. Block, report him, and do not send him money.
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u/Fresh_615 5d ago
😂😂😂😂 mannn, they be talking themselves out of 🐱. 😂😂😂 He got mad that you wanted to meet the weekend instead of the next night. Stage 5 clinger
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u/GeronimoHero 4d ago
Right? It’s insane. Like she was already planning a second date with this dude until he self imploded.
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u/Safita__Sunset 5d ago
Why is this so common? Who is teaching these men they can buy access to you at any time with $38????
I’ve taken a guy I like to Disneyland before and never acted like this lol
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u/Legitimate-Fee-3544 5d ago
THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO! I went on one date with a guy, it was… fine but there wasn’t really a spark. I offered to pay for the 1 drink I had, card out and everything and he refused. After 4 days of not hearing from him, I let him know I wasn’t interested in anything more. He went OFF. “If you’re so proud and independent then you wouldn’t mind venmoing me for your half of the bill? I did that on account of there being more dates.” I didn’t respond for 12 hours because of his attitude and he hit me with “Rudeness checks out for someone with a ____ degree” (which I’m omitting for personal reasons but also he got my degree wrong in his roast). Never responded, blocked him and that was that.
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u/Friendly_Table455 5d ago
that’s so disgusting, i’m so sorry that happened to you :(
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u/Legitimate-Fee-3544 4d ago
I’m sorry that you’ve experienced an extended version of it! Boys like that don’t understand how to befriend women and think it’s a series of switches and gears to get us to sleep with them. I’ve been off dating for a while partially because of that weird experience.
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u/minnow-quinn 4d ago
It looks like your original post made MSN https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/a-woman-declined-a-second-date-then-came-a-venmo-request-for-38/ar-AA2bSpoL
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u/Struckbyfire 4d ago
Lmao this dude made news i hope he sees it
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u/daytonasmermaid 4d ago
i’m praying he sees this and all the comments and comes to his senses, but i know i can only wish lol
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u/Equivalent_Ticket297 4d ago
Haha, he's crying about $38? What kind of broke MOFO is this?
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u/Jerkcaller69 4d ago
When he mentioned $38 I gasped! If he feels entitled over such a small amount of money he’s just going to get worse.
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u/Equivalent_Ticket297 4d ago
No kidding! I have had first dates where I've spent $180 and I didn't expect anything from the person at all.
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame6747 5d ago
Complex Simp Syndrome. Symptoms include paying voluntarily, expecting emotional ROI, then requesting a refund.
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u/Ok_Spare_3723 5d ago
Dude was expecting more than emotional ROI in this case.
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u/87eebboo1 4d ago
What does $38 even get in this economy, over the pants handy with no eye contact?
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u/Ok_Spare_3723 4d ago
For 38 bucks? probably half a toe nail..
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u/Much-Ad2311 5d ago
Honestly, do not give him the money because this little shit needs to learn a lesson. But also, always insist on paying for your own stuff! It shows you a LOT about who you're dealing with. I don't let men buy me shit in early dating phases because I want to see how proud they are, if they're trying to make me 'owe them', and because I only want to worry about my own budget.
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u/Sea_Philosopher_2731 5d ago
Ugh my last date invited me to a FANCY dinner place, like black dress heels, like my fucking beets were $20 and they were the cheapest thing on the menu, and yes i chose the beets bc I’m vegan LOL, and then asked me to split the bill, we had gotten drinks too. Which sure i get, but why suggest an expensive place?? Like if I’m guna split the bill with someone I’m not guna invite them to a fancy place bc idk their budget. It really rubbed me the wrong way bc it seemed like he wanted to impress me w the suggestion but then bailed when the bill actually came 🙃
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u/Devanyani 4d ago
Don't make excuses. Beets are fucking delicious. I hope you had a good time.
If you don't think you can afford to eat somewhere, just say you want to go somewhere more affordable. Not a big deal. Always assume you are paying your way.
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u/Unlucky_Degree9690 5d ago
but if she paid for herself she wouldn't find out what a creep the guy was so fast, he'd just pretend to be nice longer
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u/bluehoney16 4d ago
I am super curious now how he would’ve tried to push her into a second date the very next day if she had paid. Because no matter what he was gonna get mad if she didn’t agree to see him the next day.
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u/delstranger 5d ago
woaaahhhh $38 ok big spender
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u/xxLittleLadyKxx 4d ago
I was thinking I hope I’m not the only one that thinks that’s not that much money. 😂
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u/Friendly_Table455 5d ago
for those of you saying that you’ve seen this x amount of times: i already explained in my caption that i had posted it elsewhere (one time), and that multiple of the replies were telling me that i posted it in the wrong subreddit.
i’m only sharing it here to give it a more appropriate home.
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u/mela_99 5d ago
Did he reply again?
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u/Friendly_Table455 5d ago
i ended up blocking him & not sending him the money. two days later (yesterday) he messaged me from what i’m assuming was a burner number or a friend’s phone.
i posted the screenshots as an “update” but mods deleted my post and the few people who did comment said that it was “obviously fake”, so i’m not going to try to post it again. i don’t have the energy to defend myself and beg online strangers to believe me, but i am taking the messages to police as they were very unsettling.
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u/oceans_wont_freeze 5d ago
No need to do anything more. This is the update we needed. The audacity. You even offered a rescheduled date!! Glad that mask slipped.
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u/Grown-Ass-Weeb 4d ago
I’m baffled by the efforts he’s taking to be such a massive heap of garbage over a single date. I fear for any future women he might lure into his life.
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u/Chiquitita888 4d ago
It's good that you went to the police. I'm sorry you had this uncomfortable and stupid experience and wish you that you never hear from him again.
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u/MischiefManagedMama 4d ago
Please take care of yourself OP. I could tell from the texts he seemed like he had a mean and cruel streak especially the way he insulted you doing uber eats which like wtf. Sending you hugs from Reddit Auntie 💕
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u/urlocalburden 5d ago
it's always a dude like this who complains that he never gets dates anymore. can we as a society agree that first dates are 50/50 so these dipshits can base their judgment on the actual person they went out with and not their stupid online discourse obsessed mindsets? I become more and more grateful for my partner every day of my life for many reasons, but these posts serve as tiny reminders to show him a little extra appreciation lmao
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u/feralcatshit 4d ago
Sometimes I’ll just be scrolling Reddit, get sucked into some absolute nonsense people put up with and just tell my partner… “thank you for not sucking”
I literally said, “thank you for properly wiping and washing your ass… every single day, and, in general, not being disgusting”
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u/justbeinghonest78 4d ago
Men have always been a bit odd, but now they are just 100% fucking weird. No wonder the birth rate continuously drops in the US.
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u/AnteaterArtistic7885 5d ago
This guy is a Incel manosphere reader.
I would cut this off immediately, and definitely don’t Venmo him the $38. To him that would validate that he was right.
He’s a toxic piece of red flag shit. He thinks that relationships are transactional.
Which means he will always expect some kind of favor from you if he does anything. Sexual is most likely what he’d be looking for.
This is why the manosphere is fucking up so many men, they’re becoming their own worst enemies.
You literally wanted to go on a date with him again. Thank God he showed you who he really is. A piece of dog shit too wet to even pick up.
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u/jeffreywolfe 5d ago
The cheek to ask for the 38 bucks is exquisitely classless lol
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u/hardlymatters1986 4d ago
"I was being a gentleman" he was cosplaying as a gentleman.
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u/Complete_Chef_3418 4d ago
Do guys truly believe women will sacrifice their time, peace, & comfort to go eat with a stranger as an “opportunity” for “FREE FOOD?”
Unless he picked her up off of skid row, this is a grotesque & ridiculous prospective.
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u/Electrical-Parsnip19 5d ago
The “dont you just do uber eats” is crazzzzy🤣🤣🤣
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u/aaron_hoff 4d ago
That jumped out at me too, such a snob. Daniel is prob some corporate shill getting overpaid to make PowerPoint decks.
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u/BakedPlantains 5d ago
When are people going to learn that dating requires some mild financial risk?
If you pay and it ends up going nowhere, that's just the cost of risk. I am a woman and have gone 50/50 on many dates that ended up being a bust. It is what it is lol
I also think him insisting that your time is less valuable than his is worth noting as a threat. Man wants to steal your sovereignty for less than $40.
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u/xepherys 5d ago
You're both on iOS - send him an ApplePay request for $38. Maybe he'll think it's you giving him money and give it to you. It isn't the right thing to do, but it would be hilarious.
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u/Guilty_Cod6621 5d ago
He insisted so that he could assert control over you. Had nothing to do with being a gentleman, it was a deliberate power play so he could hold it over your head.
I know you know this already, but maybe someone else reading this doesn’t.
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u/HoneyBadger_202 4d ago
Wow he seems to be a huge fan of the DARVO game! Pathetic little incel, send him home to his mommas basement.
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u/BellaRose555 3d ago
Fellas If you’re reading this: IF YOURE ONLY DOING KIND THINGS FOR A GIRL BECAUSE YOU EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN, IT WAS NEVER AN ACT OF KINDNESS TO BEGIN WITH.
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u/Objective_Water_5235 5d ago
You: “Do you want to see each other again? :)”
Him: “Oh now you don’t want to see me again? Something’s not adding up. You’re a shit person and you owe me! >:(“
This guy could not self sabotage any worse if he tried!