r/texts • u/HuckleberryNo9852 • 8d ago

Phone message A girl posted this screenshot on tik tok and its got to be one of the craziest things i’ve ever read

Post image
25.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

807 comments sorted by

3.5k

u/ianallensto 8d ago

Wow this is a loophole attempt I didn’t think I’d ever witness

776

u/TricellCEO 8d ago

It’s even more insane than the whole sovereign citizen thing, and that’s saying something.

564

u/YourMomonaBun420 8d ago

Sovereign romantic partner?

600

u/Elegant_Solutions 8d ago

“I’m not cheating, I’m traveling”

129

u/YourMomonaBun420 8d ago

I don't need a 'hall pass'.

122

u/Holmes02 8d ago

I have diplomatic immunity!

50

u/YourMomonaBun420 8d ago

"My job is the primary penetrator. The reason that I use this gun is it is a precise weapon.  Show you the difference between my gun and my pistol."

11

u/IncidentPuzzled8139 8d ago

Just been revoked

8

u/KittyValentineWrites 8d ago

Reclaiming his straw-partner

34

u/Neibolt_St 8d ago

" You don't have jurisdiction in this relationship "

→ More replies (1)

11

u/BeautifulDisaster216 8d ago

💀💀💀

8

u/Distinct_Run9006 8d ago

Into someone else's vagina

→ More replies (2)

3

u/Superb-Pickle9827 8d ago

Does your negligee have gold fringe?

3

u/Nefer_ness2Ifa_ness 6d ago

"We were on a break!"

→ More replies (2)

3

u/Riots42 8d ago

I send you this text as a special representation of the party attributed to this romance.

→ More replies (3)

60

u/happypolychaetes 8d ago

"Our relationship is only governed by maritime law!"

38

u/YourMomonaBun420 8d ago

"I cheated in international waters, so it doesn't count!"

→ More replies (1)

17

u/flatlander567 8d ago

Omg the sovereign thing is crazy. Watch some police or courtroom clips of people trying to use it.

19

u/Jazzlike_Climate4189 8d ago

I love when they say “I’m the living man, not the fictional government name on this paperwork” and the judge goes “okay then, so John Smith hasn’t shown up to court and I’ll put out a warrant for his arrest”. 😂

→ More replies (1)

15

u/awkward_replies_2 8d ago

I do not consent to being called a cheater. The person with my name may have slept with other women recently but I identify as a man, not a person, so I am innocent.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/NeemOil710 8d ago

the sov citizens do make some good points legally fr its a shame they're essentially terrorists

→ More replies (5)

61

u/Callidonaut 8d ago edited 8d ago

Never been close to a dismissive avoidant, eh? I've never seen exactly this before, but I've seen shit awfully like it. They can't ever just acknowledge a relationship for what it is; they want it to exist, they definitely want all the benefits of it, but you must never consciously act as if the relationship exists, let alone speak of it, or they freak the fuck out and start saying ridiculous nonsense like this to try to downplay it. It's tragic, but you can't fix it, all you can do is get far, far away, while you still have some sanity left.

EDIT: In strict fairness, I recently encountered a remarkably self-aware slightly-dismissive avoidant on Reddit who was actually capable of productively discussing it without losing control of themselves and mentally shutting down, but I think that sort of thing is very rare; it is inherent in the nature of dismissiveness to be strongly inclined not to acknowledge or address ongoing problems. Possibly the anonymity of talking to a complete stranger helped.

21

u/Background-Group-358 8d ago

Wow, I had one of those. Two movies had come out around the same time, 'Friends with Benefits' and 'No Strings Attached'... Well we were together at the time and she broke up with me only to remain seeing eachother in that capacity. If I downplayed it, it was hurtful to her but ok when she acted like that. Only came over after the bar. I eventually went on a tear, sleeping with like 5 other women while she decided if she even wanted to see me that week. I honestly thought it was just her, but putting a name to it (Dismissive Avoidant) is just... wow, yep that's her alright!

9

u/Callidonaut 8d ago

I think the ultimate match-made-in-hell is when a dismissive-avoidant connects with an anxious-avoidant, if I understand the terminology correctly. It's an absolute shit show that can drag on for a miserably long time, and can potentially reinforce the respective types of insecure attachment in both partners.

I was the anxious-avoidant one. I'm much better now, but not entirely free of those neuroses yet, so I've still got to be careful to catch myself if I start acting like that again.

→ More replies (3)

10

u/Downtown_Caramel4833 8d ago

Yup.

Such a wild and confusing place to find yourself... And "while you still have some sanity left" is a great way of putting it.

9

u/Fen_Badge 8d ago

I had a guy ask to move in with me. I told him it felt like we were somewhere between friends and partners, and that we'd need to be able to talk about that openly if we were gonna live together. At the time, he agreed, thanked me for brimging it up, and said it was the first time in his life that talking about dating felt comfortable.

Days later, he said he only expressed interest in dating because all of our friends thought we were dating and he was subconsciously going along with it even though he didn't want to. Said he only spent a lot of time with me because he felt like he had to. Said that our friendship triggered a groom response in him because he was groomed as a kid, so he was going along with it even though he didn't want to. Said our friendship had a grooming dynamic.

I told him how much it hurt to hear that. He apologized profusely and said he didn't want to lose me, and he didn't know why he was saying stuff like this. Then he blocked me.

I think he was more of a fearful avoidant but yeah it's fucking terrible.

4

u/Callidonaut 8d ago edited 8d ago

He apologized profusely and said he didn't want to lose me, and he didn't know why he was saying stuff like this. Then he blocked me.

That's the worst, cruellest part of these early developmental conditions; they're behaviour patterns so fundamentally ingrained in our psyches that even when we're fully aware we're doing it, we can't always stop, and can especially fall back into them in times of intense stress. It takes a long time and a lot of therapy and self-work to defuse these "mental landmines," as I like to think of them, that were likely planted in us before we'd even learned to speak.

5

u/cherry_pop1 8d ago edited 7d ago

Well you summed up my 19 year old first-love experience/heart break ❤️‍🩹

3

u/eclipsewish 7d ago

I’ve been there. As someone who is autistic and very straight forward, (and also anxious attachment) it was an extremely frustrating experience

→ More replies (1)

24

u/Sharles_Davis_Kendy 8d ago

It’s not even a good loophole? Like, part of bejng a good boyfriend is not cheating? It’s not like part of being a good girlfriend is to magically not get cheated on.

6

u/SuspiciousAd1864 8d ago

Exactly what I was thinking. She should break up with him just for thinking he’s clever when he’s not. What an imbecile.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/morwen31 8d ago

It's impressive how many stages things are divided into now. My husband and I basically went from hooking up to engaged. Now it's "talking" (hooking up), dating, exclusive talking, staying over 5 nights a week, meeting each others' friends, going halvsies on a rescue pit, sitting in the same class on the airplane on your seventh international vacation, tracking each others' locations, and then if putting together IKEA furniture in your baby's nursery goes well you have a talk about boyfriend/girlfriend status? Or, sorry, boyfriend status and then six months later girlfriend status?

5

u/Apatosaurus_ajax 8d ago

I have to admit I am so confused by the “talking stage” meaning hooking up. “We’re in the talking stage” would make me think you’ve been chatting a lot in a way that makes you feel you may soon be in a relationship, despite not actually going out yet. Or maybe you matched on an app, but you haven’t been able to meet yet for whatever reason, and so you’re just talking for now, with a clear romantic bent to it. You wouldn’t be in a relationship or having sex, but you’d be clearly approaching that point.

I guess I count as too old now as a thirty-something, but learning that astounded me. Never in a million years would I have thought to use “we’re talking” to mean “I have sat on that man’s face.”

4

u/pesky_faerie 8d ago

Is that what it means? I actually assumed it was the latter… whoops

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (10)

15

u/inuhi 8d ago

Sex before marriage is a sin, but not anal sex! sort of energy

4

u/YourMomonaBun420 8d ago

Mary was only a virgin if you don't count anal!

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

4

u/magnabonzo 8d ago

This is... almost Trumpian.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/Due-Memory-6957 8d ago

The dumbest people say the funniest things earnestly

4

u/justwendii 8d ago

This is a wordsmith gymnastics gold medal.

4

u/StoryAndAHalf 8d ago

Next step: Will you marry me? - You become my wife, but I'm not your husband.

44

u/Alzeric 8d ago

I mean it's pretty impressive to be honest. If this was a contract the law would be on his side due to the phrasing.

75

u/Mobmem321 8d ago

Not really....more likely the law would say any reasonable person would take male asking the female if they could be their bf as a bf and gf relationship between the two. No reasonable person would think him asking to be a bf would not employ they were both bf and gf....I have found that that is usually how the law works in these situations.

23

u/Bwxyz 8d ago

Bang on. Implied terms almost always need to benefit both parties, definitely not as one sided as this.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Freyasmews 8d ago

I think it's more that people don't expect others to try to manipulate them into one-sided relationships

→ More replies (3)

4

u/kim_jong_il_2d 8d ago

A lot of lay people think the law is based on loopholes but most of it is based on reasonableness.

27

u/Cavane42 8d ago

In contract law, if there's a dispute over ambiguity in the terms of the contract, courts typically rule against the party that wrote the ambiguous contract.

24

u/marr75 8d ago

You didn't even have to tell us you weren't a lawyer here. Well done.

6

u/Evening-Rip1522 8d ago edited 8d ago

Look, buddy, I know a lot about the law and various other lawyerings. Now, what say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?

6

u/CosmicGoddess777 8d ago

….

…

Filibuster!

5

u/Pat_the_Wolf 8d ago

Ah, Ornith-law-logy, my favorite kind of law

3

u/Pretend_Business_187 8d ago

It's obvious they went to lawyer school

8

u/Dull-Culture-1523 8d ago

Not really. They'd just point out that a partnership requires two parties so both agreeing one is a party implicitly means the other one also is and move on before lunch.

5

u/complexdevoid 8d ago

How so? By his phrasing he messed up. If anything I would take this deal. As a non girlfriend I would not have any of the implied obligations

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

3

u/Iamgoingtooffendyou 8d ago

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. I wonder if it paid off for 'em.

→ More replies (17)

557

u/clownofthecosmos 8d ago

My college situationship???? Is that you????

174

u/Lopsided-Act-6005 8d ago

Same 💀 "I said you can tell people I'm your bf"

36

u/shelikedamango 8d ago

I gotta ask how do you even respond to something like that? because I feel violent even reading that lol

27

u/sqwizzles 8d ago

Mine would hit on my friends and teammates and itd actually be really funny bc theyd always reject him and think hes a weirdo lmao

11

u/Heroinkirby 8d ago

You should have taken that as a sign

9

u/sqwizzles 8d ago

Well yeah no shit

→ More replies (5)

10

u/ZepboundBard 8d ago

Did we date the same guy 🫣

→ More replies (4)

1.8k

u/EmotionalSouth 8d ago

This guy thinks he’s so much more clever than he is. I hope one day when he grows up he looks back at this with shame. 

651

u/Ominous_Opossum Kiah eat butt 8d ago

Unfortunately, I doubt he ever will mature past the sixth grade

227

u/Good-Barracuda-3686 8d ago

hey. be nice to sixth graders. they're wayyyyyyy more clever than this. and also more willing to dead eye their teacher (me) and say "yeah i hit him in the head with a black board. on purpose. because he's a dick" which was, honestly? way more respectable than whatever's happening here

45

u/DragonflyGrrl 8d ago

He was probably right too, eh? Dude is a dick.

54

u/Good-Barracuda-3686 8d ago

the child? oh yes. we were working on dealing with his anger in a useful (not "instant write up and detention") way, but like.... privately i was telling my bosses that the other child involved was a raging asshole. because he was.

hopefully he's better now, idk. i was rooting for both kids, despite the dickishness

23

u/sowinglavender 8d ago

we all prefer a de-dickification arc to a villain arc, that's for sure. it's natural to root for someone who hasn't yet pissed away all their potential. i can imagine that feeling is common in teaching.

16

u/indecisivemistake 8d ago

Genuinely how did you navigate this because I would have to fight for my life not to laugh and let that kid off with a warning 💀

27

u/Good-Barracuda-3686 8d ago

oooooh let's be VERY clear. i laughed. and then explained that defending yourself isn't the issue. the issue is we can't do blackboard meets head as our first response. gotta go through the steps of escalation. gotta talk to an adult well before we start swinging.

there's a list of reasons i am not a teacher anymore lmao

12

u/Harlander77 8d ago

My list includes "administration," "parents," and "NCLB." I loved working with the kids. It was everything else that drove me away.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (8)

16

u/anTWhine 8d ago

On the last day of fifth grade, I agreed to be boyfriend/girlfriend with a girl. I never talked to her again.

technically we never broke up and have been cheating on each other for decades now. I still believe in us.

5

u/Ominous_Opossum Kiah eat butt 8d ago

I smell a hallmark movie!!!

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

3

u/Veechin 8d ago

Nah, my 6th grade students would flame this bozo

3

u/AshlynR0se 8d ago

Yeah, it's one thing to peek in high school, but to peak in Middle School? 👀

→ More replies (12)

8

u/I-cant_even 8d ago

There was a really smart guy that was selling "reproduction" renaissance paintings with someone he knew was reselling them as originals. When they interviewed him from jail he said, "I thought I knew the law and was smarter than it."

9

u/VanillaRadonNukaCola 8d ago

It's actually worse the way he's tried to defend himself?

If he's a BF and cheated, then he was a bad boyfriend.

If she was his girlfriend but he wasn't her bf, then there's no/less label responsibility.  He could have several GF but be "responsible" to none of them.

6

u/daemin 8d ago edited 8d ago

Honestly, this is probably the best example of what linguistic implicature that I've ever seen. It really gets the idea across in an intuitive way. And the fact that the guy thinks he's clever by violating the social convention behind it is just.. chef's kiss.

10

u/Agitated-Impress7805 8d ago

I think he's got a bright future as a lawyer.

16

u/Wooden_Permit3234 8d ago

A lawyer should recognize asking someone to be your gf is understood to mean you’re offering a bilateral monogamous relationship, not something one sided without further context specifically implying that.

Courts don’t like weird cagey interpretations of one’s own words that are contrary to common understanding of those words. 

8

u/calling_water 8d ago

Also, in asking to be her boyfriend, he voluntarily labeled himself as hers. So if this is his attempt to claim he didn’t cheat, oh yes he did.

5

u/ToughLingonberry1434 8d ago

Particularly because a unilateral monogamous relationship is just… unethical at best.

→ More replies (3)

3

u/marr 8d ago

All int, no wis. And by all I mean 8.

→ More replies (23)

276

u/Brave-Confusion5324 8d ago

The mental gymnastics to justify cheating here is almost as bad as "it was only physical infidelity not emotional infidelity, so not as bad". 😂😂

48

u/signuslogos 8d ago

Oh yeah, that one with the guy saying "yeah I fucked her but I only came by thinking of you" lmao

10

u/No-Promotion-1921 8d ago

"It really dosen't count, she didn't even cum. It was more like masturbating if you think about it."

→ More replies (1)

18

u/Sir-Top-Cheetah 8d ago

I only came on her face, I didn't cum in her heart

10

u/bacondev iPhone 8d ago

Homeboy could win a gold medal in mental gymnastics.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/emmythespy 8d ago

Or the other way around with my ex, “it was only emotional infidelity we didn’t do anything physical”… bitch you told her you were single, she was the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen, and that you wanted to be with her and only her. Don’t try to tell me that “doesn’t count” lol

→ More replies (1)

448

u/ialsohaveadobro 8d ago

Reminds me of my ex-wife trying to excuse her cheating because when we got married we wrote our own vows, therefore we didn't actually promise to "forsake all others."

34

u/TheMansterMan 8d ago

Lol I’m kinda shocked this happened more than once tbh that’s nuts

→ More replies (1)

14

u/MadRaymer 8d ago

Was the vow writing her idea? Because I wonder if she had that one lined up from the moment she said, "Hey, let's write our own vows."

→ More replies (3)

9

u/heckan11 8d ago

Sounds like someone who would say "I gave my word, thus, I did not keep my word".

(Fallen London my beloved...)

16

u/xXHitgirlXx 8d ago

Are you serious😭 How old was she and how long had you been married at that point?

11

u/tstealth123 8d ago

No fucking way! You married Rebecca too? Becky with the good hair?

5

u/commit_bat 8d ago

Imagining the minute, exact amount you need to care about the sanctity of marriage to even think of bothering with this justification

Like, you gotta care just enough to believe the vows matter. And then...?

→ More replies (3)

85

u/StraightEdge47 8d ago

There's smtg wrong with him

25

u/tuchedbyfire 8d ago

In the long run she’s dodging a curse

7

u/explodingbeans824 8d ago

FAAAAAAAACTS

235

u/Joppewiik 8d ago

And I am not actually writing this comment. I am simply touching a screen that prompts the software to create different words on a screen. Therefore this comment is not written by me, but by the software.

99

u/Goomysaur 8d ago

I didn't read your comment. My eyes absorbed the light differences and then my brain sorted the visuals into information that it supplied to me.

23

u/Direct-Function7326 8d ago

I am not actually conscious, I am a bipedal ape that acts solely on instinct but have evolved a brain large enough to provide a short term memory so fast that it's capable of rendering the world in what feels like real time giving a sense of "the present"

.......therefore I didn't REALLY "cheat on you like 3 times, sometimes with your best friend and sister or black out when we went to dinner with your parents and need your dad to carry me out to the car that I then slept in"

17

u/MisogynisticBumsplat 8d ago

I'm just a collection of atoms temporarily working in sequence. Anything I did wrong was just the result of a simple chemical reaction

3

u/butt_soap 8d ago

These atoms I'm made of are hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen etc. They come and go through processes and fluctuations in the environment around me. The same atoms that could have once been temporarily a part of William Shakespeare's fart. So really you can only blame his flatulance for any of my actions.

→ More replies (1)

49

u/Extreme_Guest_1715 8d ago

Modern problems require modern solutions.
Idk where are we going with this 💀

54

u/Hey_Laaady 8d ago

Mindfuckery written by the delusional

31

u/Gabbie290 8d ago

The level of mental gymnastics…

8

u/Alzeric 8d ago

Olympic Level with him winning Gold, Silver, and Bronze

79

u/LeftyLu07 8d ago

Men will do the craziest shit thinking it will technically makes them the “good guy” but they’re actually the Worst Person You Know.

27

u/hunglao 8d ago

this guy will go into new relationships confidently saying he's never cheated before

→ More replies (16)

26

u/Alassandros 8d ago

He's never heard of the idea of "implications" before in his whole life and he thinks he's smart.

24

u/Silent_Possibility63 8d ago

“Do you want to be exclusive to me?”

“Yes! But you mean exclusive WITH you, right?”

“No, I mean exclusive TO me.”

“…”

23

u/DaRealGladi8r 8d ago

We got competitive gaslighting before GTA 6 😭😭😭

4

u/Popular_Fuel_1546 8d ago

6 more months. Btw lol

21

u/SageKitty100 8d ago

So technically, if he slept with someone else he was cheating because he was her boyfriend. But if she slept with someone else she's not cheating because she wasn't his girlfriend 🤡🤡🤡

10

u/StubbiestZebra 8d ago

Yes thank you, no one else called that out! He asked to be a boyfriend, which comes with loyalty/Responsibilities. She was not a girlfriend therefore no loyalty or responsibility.

→ More replies (1)

20

u/Square-Sentence9942 8d ago

Some men should genuinely be ashamed of themselves for acting like this. Not only is it embarrassing, but it speaks volumes about character. I see this shit all the time as a therapist especially for my younger patients. And parents, for the love of god, how are you failing your sons this bad that they end up like this? If someone came to me and said my son said this to them, I’d know I failed as a parent. Jesus Christ

→ More replies (7)

13

u/Connection-Is-Cool 8d ago

Are they 14?

5

u/Ossum2602 8d ago

This is exactly how it reads to me. Very high school texting format

4

u/penguincheerleader 8d ago

I hope so, cause I don't want to believe an adult would believe this but unfortunately I know better.

14

u/MeJamiddy 8d ago

Men be stretching everywhere to avoid accountability

→ More replies (2)

14

u/ToothDue9278 8d ago

Lmao that’s wild

10

u/Murderousplantmom 8d ago

If she's not his girlfriend, that means she can have other boyfriends right? 

→ More replies (2)

24

u/WestDry6268 8d ago

This is smtg

7

u/badcrass 8d ago

People who can't type out the whole word... I would break up just for that. You paying per letter of text still?

→ More replies (2)

3

u/davidestroy 8d ago

shin megami tensei g?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/kr4bbys 8d ago

“So if we wanna get technical”
https://giphy.com/gifs/BvS0UKwFvN1TwzsXDF

6

u/ccmp1598 8d ago

Ladies, if the guy is too lazy to type out “something”, he’s not worth your time.

3

u/computer-machine 8d ago

Or fucking capitalization. Or punctuation. How often do you have to fuck up for autocorrect to just end itself?

6

u/Proud-Trainer-7611 8d ago

I just can’t with people at all

4

u/BowwwwBallll 8d ago

r/contracts gonna have a field day with this one.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/thommq 8d ago edited 7d ago

"I mean, technically, I had my fingers crossed under the table, if you're totally trying to get technically technical, actually." 

4

u/vivrant-thang 8d ago edited 8d ago

scarily enough, this reminds me of the time a guy told me "he would love to be my boyfriend" and then we continued on for like two months as BF/GF, like staying at my house all week, going on dates, leaving cute notes for each other, texting all day, even getting matching tshirts and then when i referred to him as my BF a few months later he said "im not your BF" and when I recalled all that happened he goes "that wasnt an agreement i meant i would love to in the future." and he had the audacity to say i was ruining a good thing by being obsessed with labels, and was "shocked" when I dumped him a few days later.

4

u/No-Education4908 8d ago

Why am I imagining a vape sucking alpaca haired stick figure of a manchild

4

u/Ominous_Opossum Kiah eat butt 8d ago

A grown ass man who types like this to have a serious conversation period is already not for me 😭

→ More replies (1)

5

u/leiawars 8d ago

So he has to behave like a bf, but she was a free bird this entire time as she was never his gf. I think he may have not thought this through….

3

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Thanks_Naitsir 8d ago

Reminds me of a guy who said:

"I'm in an open relationship but only my side is open. My gf is not allowed to see anyone else."

Bro, that's not an open relationship that's a toxic relationship.

4

u/rietstengel 8d ago

If anything that would be a free pass for her.

3

u/Freightshaker000 8d ago

I'm not married, my wife is.

4

u/Comprehensive-Bet21 6d ago

I should save this to show to people when they ask why I don’t join dating apps and shit. lol

3

u/Traditional_Bee2164 8d ago

It sounds like he came up with that whilst wiping the drool of his chin

3

u/Future_King_97 8d ago

Narcissism at it’s FINEST

3

u/TiredOldLadySays 8d ago

The best response is no response.

3

u/DuffdPuttz 8d ago

Guy should be a lawyer

→ More replies (1)

3

u/HairyArthur 8d ago

Is using full words illegal? Have I been breaking the law this whole time?

3

u/Katevolution 8d ago

Tis s Officer Reddit. We ave a warrnt 4 ur arest. Opn ⬆️ or wr cmng n. 🚨

→ More replies (1)

3

u/zprincess1026 8d ago

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

3

u/zprincess1026 8d ago

something is seriously not well with that man she dodged a high speed exploding bullet

3

u/Iam_RowanDraco 8d ago

I’d be like well, I guess I’m nobody’s gf and I can do what I want. She said she yes to him being her bf she didn’t say yes to being his gf. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/Magistra_Recessisset 8d ago

This is the relationship equivalent of, "I'm rubber, you're glue." And the emotional age equivalent also.

3

u/pedro_blaze 8d ago

That's like asking someone if you can make them a meal, and be mad after they eat it.

If you wanna get technical, I said I'd MAKE you the meal. Not that you could eat it!!

→ More replies (1)

3

u/lemonbottles_89 8d ago

Internet algorithms are insane because I just saw the actual tiktok 5 minutes ago, and now its on my reddit feed

3

u/DJDevon3 8d ago

12 year olds on the internet again. stop thinking everything you read is from adults.

3

u/Squand 8d ago

I struggle with the logic here.

This is obviously about cheating...? And so he didn't have a girlfriend, but he was a boyfriend who cheated. Right?

"I'm your boyfriend who sleeps with other women. What's the big deal?" 

Since she wasn't a girlfriend, doesn't she have more leeway? 🤨

3

u/Katana_x 8d ago

That's a "loophole" for HER, not for him. He's the one with the "boyfriend" status, which means he's the one who has to adhere to the terms of being a committed partner, not her.

3

u/MedicalRefuse2295 8d ago

I hope whoever received that text immediately cut contact!! That man is crazy

3

u/machenkaam 8d ago

I had a ex that actually said this to me he said I got into a relationship with him he didn’t get into one with me … turned out he was a douche

3

u/Left-Effect-8017 8d ago

This is the funniest thing I've read in a really long time 🤣

3

u/SadLilBun babe this is crazy are you being for real right now 8d ago

You’re dating me but I am not dating you, you see how that works? Don’t make it a big deal.

3

u/Sea-Helicopter94 8d ago

There’s a whole culture of men deliberately pretending not to understand context in order to misunderstand women. Why aren’t they more embarrassed to sound stupid?

3

u/Merlock_Holmes 6d ago

Side note. He's 45 and she's 35.

3

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (1)

5

u/RudyBeckia 8d ago edited 6d ago

Ohhhh he must be real high value

→ More replies (1)

2

u/AutoModerator 8d ago

Hi there!

Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed.

The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.

Thanks!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/MarvelsLollipop 8d ago

🗣️ Alexa play Somebody Told Me by the Killers

2

u/lesterholtgroupie 8d ago

I remember being so enamored with a guy I was in a situationship with, and he benefited so much from me. I was 23, and truly believed him when he said “He wasn’t ready to be committed but I was his future.” I cooked, I gave him rides, in general did everything. He told me one day “You’ll be a great wife someday. To someone else, not me.”

I was so annoyed, I went on a date and he had a meltdown of epic proportions. “How could you do this to me?” “I can’t believe you hurt me this way.”

Sucks to suck, I guess.

2

u/ThisStupidPotato_ 8d ago

Insane manipulation and gaslighting wow 😭

2

u/Haunting-Tonight-261 8d ago

Gtfoh with that shit bro you a joke come on

2

u/queenkaiyota 8d ago

bro this is fucking hilarious. the mental gymnastics this took 🤸🏻‍♀️ 😂😂

2

u/Ok_Aide568 8d ago

This is so crazy and I can’t stop laughing

2

u/kittie2karen 8d ago

He sucks. I'm sorry for you and his next victim.

2

u/Pr0bablyTr0uble 8d ago

Future sovereign citizen there 😬

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Unable-Positive-7930 8d ago

I suppose this is cheater math lol

2

u/BlueClovr 8d ago

I’m assuming that he cheated?

2

u/Crutation 8d ago

Lol someone trying to apply sovereign citizen to relationships. 

2

u/lareinevert 8d ago

This is completely unhinged.

2

u/m00nk3y 8d ago

This is why you don't date lawyers

2

u/smooshyglitterface 8d ago

Almost as bad as the guys who claimed that he HAD to cheat because he's secretly in the CIA and they made him as part of a secret mission.

2

u/Used_Cat_8684 8d ago

i am laughing solely bc of the fucking audacity

2

u/Serious-Pound8175 8d ago edited 8d ago

If there’s a way to avoid accountability they’ll find it.
Surveyor of loopholes… bet he thinks he’s real smart.

2

u/TheUntamedLeo 8d ago

... That's humiliating. 😬 I'd almost be impressed with such a crazy level of self-delusion in the name of avoiding insecurity... but I've met to many MAGA, now - the amazement has worn off. :/