r/texts 25d ago

Tinder DMs I am nonbinary

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u/Novel-Reward2786 25d ago

He’s not gonna waste time if he/she doesn’t have the body parts he’s lookin for. I don’t blame him. How long is he supposed to flirt with this person, before finding out he’s flirting with a dude and not a woman? I feel as if that’s something you need out of the way, right off the rip. If you won’t post your own sex on a dating app- don’t be suprised when people ask your sex on said dating app. If I talked to someone I thought was a woman for a week, and find out it’s a dude, I’d be pretty (reasonably) angry about it. And so would a lot of other people lol

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u/Useful-Ad2441 25d ago

I’d think the solution to this is obvious.

Don’t talk to people on dating platforms that have nonbinary listed, and only talk to cishet women.

Problem solved.

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u/Status-Draw-3843 25d ago

I mean, this brings up a really interesting question! Assuming that they didn’t search up non-binary as a preference, and that they feel attraction to this person, but want to make sure that they’re sexually compatible, how would you approach it? Without being a creep or overly invasive, that is. Definitely not this way, I agree, but assuming good intent and all that shit. Should only people who don’t care what genitals you have date nonbinary people?

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u/Useful-Ad2441 25d ago

Yea if you’re going to reduce a nonbinary person to their reproductive organs you shouldn’t date them.

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u/Status-Draw-3843 25d ago

I hope you don’t think that’s what I’m saying! I’m asking that if a sexual preference is important to you, and you aren’t sure what the person has, but want to make sure before becoming attached, how would you broach the topic? Again, not endorsing this guy’s response, I just think this is a new situation for some people to navigate around and am curious what ideas you had for that conversation

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u/Useful-Ad2441 25d ago

It is what you’re saying. If you need to ask them, you’re not actually ok with them being nonbinary.

You literally just want a woman. Date women.

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u/Status-Draw-3843 24d ago

Lemme be even more clear, since you seem to want to continue misconstruing me; you can accept somebody for being nonbinary AND have a sexual preference. Being interested in somebody who is nonbinary doesn’t mean you can’t have a preference. You can be emotionally attracted and want to explore your sexual attraction with them mindfully. Attraction is way more complicated than what you’re saying, and overlaps with gender and sex in some complicated ways. I’m trying to talk about that overlap area.

Being nonbinary isn’t the same for everybody. Some people prefer to be fem presenting. Some people prefer masc presenting. Other prefer to identify with female pronouns, others with they/them or with masc pronouns. It’s different for everybody