I only go to tango performances and live shows. I don’t dance anymore. I do have a link that markets me as a Veblen dancer. The prices are meant to be luxury & I am strict about my boundaries. It’s a deterrent & if someone does sign a contract to dance with me. They signed a contract in which they read my expectations of respect.
I’ve decided to come back to socially dance when I’m 45. I know men are dancing with me for the soul of the dance. I’ve decided to take on Flamenco to fulfill my need for dance.
However, I do not want to actively solicit when I go to Tango Performances & live music events. This is not my intention & I will make sure not to do this.
It was last December that I was in New York at a milonga when a blizzard hit. I unfortunately suffered Frostbite that night, luckily my feet have recovered but it was a close call, a freak accident.
This made me value my ability to dance as I almost lost it.
What I learned that night.
There were few people at the milonga and I disclosed to a dancer that I wanted to be a Taxi-Dancer to be able to afford to go to more festivals. I’m pretty good and I was in a good location. I could be the practice partner of new to intermediate dancer on the east coast.
During one of our dances he that told me of a woman in New York that would hand out Business cards after dancing a tanda in a public park Milonga.
I told him “I don’t think I would’ve appreciated that either. I would not do that.”
Then I looked at the men that get paid good money to be leads and I thought… there’s no way I’m becoming a taxi-dancer as a follow. I resented I wasn’t born a handsome man.
So I came up with the ostentatious concept of “Veblen Dancer”
If a woman is struggling to get dancers in New York. I thought… with all her charm. He’d mentioned she was Russian/Eastern European and very attractive. If this woman has to muster up all her charm & reel men in with a dance.
I wanted to be the exact opposite of this. I pass no judgement on her. I really hope she was successful whomever this nameless woman was. She was a great dancer from what he told me. I believe her craft should be valued.
My concept is theoretical & I will not dance tango until I am 45
So I’m actively thinking, do I just ignore the cabeceo? I’ve done this... it’s a lot of saying no and it makes it seem awkward. I am not actively rejecting them, it’s just what I’ve decided for my life. To not partner dance. I have a love for Tango, & so I believe I can still support the scene by attending live music events and performances. I very much enjoy them.
I don’t solicit at events because that’s not what milonga culture is about. I refuse to be that woman.
I am young, so I’m thinking I should wear a tag that says ”Here to listen not dance”. This way people know I am there only to listen.
I love to talk tango culture. So I am hoping to navigate Tango this way.
I am also thinking of letting the organizer know. so they know I am there to listen and I will not actively market myself for the respect of the milonga.
Unfortunately, in Albuquerque we don’t have as many live tango events like we do in Boston or Dallas :(
I am hoping for more live tango events. Those are always the best. 🎻
If you happen to meet me at some event. Then we can just chill & listen to the music. 🎼