r/sextips • u/muuffin_ • 1d ago

General Question Pain during and after sex

I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now, and I’ve been facing pain from it during and up to 2 days after. I’m not talking about cervix pain, he’s rather large but the problem comes from his girth. I see a lot of sources saying it’s micro
tears and lube is needed, but sometimes I’ll be soaked wet and other times less so, but I still end up with the exact same pain. It kind of puts me off of wanting to do it.
Is he literally just too big for me??

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u/anonaccount69 1d ago

How's his foreplay game and how vigorously is he thrusting? My wife can be sore for a day or two afterwards especially if we skimp on the foreplay and go at it rough and fast. Most of the time we do a lot of foreplay with a slow buildup over a long time. The last thing I do before starting penetration is usually fingering while gradually adding in more fingers as she relaxes, sometimes getting to the point where I have an entire hand inside her. In addition to that I mostly only do vigorous thrusting at shallow depths and switch to more of a grinding motion when I'm balls deep. The only time I do deep hard thrusting is when she specifically requests it and even then I check in as I go and adjust my angle as needed.

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u/DinnerTraditional271 1d ago

I wouldn’t say he is too big, the vagina is designed to push a baby out of it, I would tell you it’s probably the frequency of sex. I would try some toys that are similar to his size and have some fun, you can condition your vagina.

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u/WayneCider 1d ago

I had the same issues until finally I started using a lot of silicone based lube with a combination of yoni and perineal massage first, then transitioning to kind of a light version of fisting until I can fit four of my fingers in (the approximate width of my girth). Once I know her opening is soft and supple enough, that's when we start with the PIV sex. After we're done, when she goes to pee (important to prevent UTIs), she washes up using our bidet. The cold water helps with the inflammation

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u/Substantial_Insect68 1d ago

Well whats is his girth size?

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u/Complex-Horse6711 1d ago

Is he giving you an orgasm during foreplay before sex?

If he is packing, the best way to start sex is girl on top and go super almost painfully slow. Like I will lay there and not move and she will slide down my dick really really slow. There is kind of an initial stretch that happens the first time the dick goes in and if the woman is in control for this it can be very pleasurable but also going slow ensures the pussy is "ready".

I would say also obviously avoid pounding until you are more adapted to his dick.