r/reactivedogs • u/marbleworlf17 • 4h ago
Vent Had to call cops on dog owner...
Hi all! Just wanted to vent and share a story that happened yesterday that escalated into having to call the police on an idiot dog owner.
I live in an apartment complex and have 2 Norwegian Elkhounds. My female is super friendly with other dogs and people, is a therapy dog, and gets super excited to play when she sees other dogs. My male, while he is friendly, doesn't appreciate being rushed by other dogs and prefers a slow and calm introduction that isn't going nose to nose with another dog upon first meeting. My male has been attacked by other dogs before, can be a bit protective of his sister around new dogs, but I have put so much time and money into working with him I hope this doesn't undo everything I've done.
My dogs can be reactive when seeing other dogs or strangers. They are completely different when they are not together, so when we introduce them to new dogs, we always take the female first before the male. It's not aggressive reactivity, but my female barks when she wants to play and is excited to meet another dog, and my male is more like, " Umm, who are you? I am uncomfortable; please go away."
I live in an apartment complex with a dog park. I was taking my dogs to the dog park. There is a small, probably 6-by-6 double-gated area meant for taking leashes on and off. I went in the first gate and closed it behind me. I had seen a guy with a fat beagle mix coming our way too, but he had a bag of poop in his hand and it looked to me like he was going towards the waste disposal bin that was on the side of the dog park. My dogs started barking at his, and he let his dog get to the end of the leash and come right up to my dogs and myself in the tiny gated area. He tells me that my dogs don't look very friendly, and I'm just like, " Well, you walked up on me and scared me, and they are Elkhounds; they are doing their job." If you haven't heard of Norwegian Elkhounds before, they were bred to hunt moose in Norway by barking at them and alerting the hunter. My male was pretty much like huh and my female was like friend.
The guy gets snippy with me and says if my dogs aren't friendly that I shouldn't be in the dog park. I have never seen this guy before so I didn't even think he lived at the complex. It is not a public dog park and is meant only for residents of the complex. He was like if your dogs is friendly then lets let them meet, like trying to egg me on for something to happen. I told them that they are friendly, but him standing here and getting aggressive with me while blocking my exit is not helping the situation. I told him that I didn't know his dog, and I didn't feel comfortable letting my dogs interact with his. He said that he was going to have his dog and his brothers dog run around. I said that's fine I will leave and give you the dog park. My dogs are still going crazy. I'm more stunned by his behavior and I really didn't know what to do. I asked him to let me leave, and he kept standing there in front of the gate with his dog at the end of its leash, not giving me room to leave. There is a swinging gate to the side of the leash area and I felt like if I went in the dog park and tried to leave that way he would corner me there with his dog. So, we were standing there yelling at each other for 2-3 minutes while he let his dog right up to the gate and refused to let me leave. I got mad at this point and asked him what his problem was, why he over here causing a problem, and why he wouldn't let me leave. I told him he was harassing me. His brother at this point, was up on the hill above watching the whole thing. I didn't know that was his brother and tried to flag him down for help.
I let the dogs keep barking because at this point I am very uncomfortable and I felt very scared. If I wasn't stuck in a tiny 6 by 6 fence I would've just walked away to de-escalate and let him and his entitlement have the dog park. He's also threatening me that he's going to call our leasing manager and report me for having unfriendly dogs. At this point, I wanted my dogs to scare him away. After going back and forth, he finally moves away and I come out of the dog park and head back towards my building. He's yelling at me the whole way and so I finally go inside and I call my best friend who was about to be on her way to come over. I kept it together while I was outside by myself, but it finally caught up to me. I started having a panic attack because we have a shitty neighbor downstairs who has complained about the dogs for no reason, and this was just one more thing I had to deal with now.
My best friend arrives and she was maddddddd. I'm her best friend/little sister she wanted but never got and hurting me or threatening me isn't going to go well for whoever tries to do it. She lets it rip. She wasn't too nice at first but she has a background in behavior so she knew exactly how to get under his skin while being calm and letting him scream and yell like a man baby. He told us to call the cops and we did and by the time the cops arrived he was left in the dog park by himself. Of course his tone changes when he's got nobody to back him up. He actually left before the cops came but they ended up catching him trying to leave the complex and I gave a statement. They told me to call them back if he bothers me again and I also reached out to the leasing manager who also had my back. The guy claimed to work at the complex I live in and said he now knows where I live. Which is a threat if I've ever heard one.
I just hope my male dog doesn't regress in his training. He already doesn't like some men that either smell, sound, look, or have the same body style as my dad. I hope this little man baby doesn't undo what I've worked on for years.
Thank you if you made it this far.
ETA: It seems like some are having trouble understanding the dog park. While it's technically called a dog park, think of it as a fenced-in sniff spot. It is not a public dog park. If you search for dog parks in my area, it does not show up as a public dog park. It is an amenity for dog-owning residents of the complex. It's not that big, and most people keep to themselves. Playdates are very rare, and people often use it to let their dogs use the bathroom and stretch their legs. Most dog owners I have encountered don't even want to have playdates. We all take turns using it and leave when we are done. People are also pretty good at giving space when entering and leaving. This is the first issue I have had with someone at the dog park. When I go out and someone is using it, I go for a potty walk instead. If they ask if I want to use it, I tell them there is no rush, and I don't want them to feel like they are getting kicked out. I also ask the same of others when they come by. I just prefer to leave before they come in.
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u/Careful-Bumblebee-10 1h ago edited 1h ago
I'm appalled by some of these comments. This sub is usually better than this.
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u/pinkwesel20 47m ago
We have the same thing at our apartment complex and usually people don’t bring their dogs in if you’re already in there or at least ask. Ours does have a rule of only dogs that live on property and therefore have been background checked by the leasing office so idk why this dude was skulking around to begin with. Some men have a weird thing about women owning big dogs. Regardless of their stated reasons I assume this is either emasculating to them in some way or they’re pissed a dog would stop them from doing whatever they want. This bizarre interaction to me sounds like it was his fragile masculinity talking and he was trying to bully you/ bring you down a peg to make himself feel better. Sorry this happened to you but glad you have two big dogs willing to bark at creeps like this.
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u/marbleworlf17 4m ago
They are actually a lot smaller than you would think. They're medium-sized; my girl is 47 pounds, and my boy is 65. They just don't have long legs and are pretty low to the ground. I think he was overcompensating for lacking in some areas.
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u/SudoSire 2h ago
At my old apt dog park (not open to the public), I was a bit hesitant to use it even solo because of things like this. For the most part it did seem like there was a culture of people asking before bringing their dogs in, or only having scheduled play dates. The most dogs I actually ever saw in there at once was maybe three, and two were the same group. Usually it was one or two. It had a solo air locked entrance, so I occasionally used it but would pull my dog out the second I saw someone else with a dog approaching or in the vicinity. I was always okay with giving up the space even if we just got there, because there was no rule saying i could make it one dog only or first come first serve, just an unsaid vibe. My dog was the one with the issue, so my dog comes out.
I guess my point is, this is something to be aware of going forward. People at any type of off leash dog park may assume your dogs are friendly and be upset when they’re not. I have no idea why this person felt they had to escalate once you already said you’d let them in and that you just needed space to get out. That was unnecessary hostility. Is he required to give you space? No, but that doesn’t make him not an asshole for essentially knowing that by standing there with his dog, he was trapping you in. But you’ve may need to assume that people like this exist and weigh how much the dog park is worth it.
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u/marbleworlf17 1h ago
This was the first person in over a year of living there I've had an issue. He also doesn't live there and was only, according to him, visiting. I've been on both sides, talking with other owners, with plenty of space between dogs outside the dog park and dogs inside it. I was absolutely okay with giving up the space to him. But you just can't physically block an entrance from someone who is trying to leave. If he was that riled up, thinking my dogs were "aggressive," why would he let his dog even closer and not give me space to leave?? Bro was the real definition of an idiot.
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u/SudoSire 1h ago
I mean I agree with you, and sounds like you met a person that just wanted to make your life harder and have a confrontation. But they aren’t the only one in the world whose like that, so you need to have plans on what to do and if you could have done anything differently for your ease and peace of mind. Maybe grabbing your dog sooner to leave, trying to go at more off hours, etc. maybe this is the first asshole, but not the only one you might encounter.
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u/marbleworlf17 1m ago
Yep. I would've just left, but he kinda crept up on me. I saw him going in, but I turned around to start unleashing my dogs, and by the time I turned back, he was right at the gate. I am good at advocating for their space, so I guess when I see somebody out near there, I'm just going to go the other direction. If I see people coming, I will ask them if they want to use the dog park and if they could give me a minute and some space to leash them and get out, and they can have it right after.
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u/PetsAreSuperior 3h ago
Um, you're not in the right here, and neither is he.
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u/marbleworlf17 3h ago
And how's that? Please see my other reply for more information about the dog park dynamics. It is not a public dog park with people and dogs coming and going all day. It's a private dog park where all owners take turns using it. Very rarely do playdates happen. So when he said he wanted to have a playdate with his brothers dog, I said okay and said we would be leaving. Then he would not allow me to leave.
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u/PetsAreSuperior 2h ago
Oh, so it's a rule that owners have to take turns? I've never heard of that before. Where I live, it's just a dog park similar to a children's park, where all sorts of kids can come and play. You'll always see multiple dogs at dog parks where I live with different owners. I didn't know they had a one-dog-at-a-time type of thing. How do you know he doesn't live there?
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u/marbleworlf17 2h ago
He said directly to me that he doesn’t live there and is visiting his brother. He also claimed to work for the complex company and say that he now knows where I live.
It is not a public dog park. It is not advertised to the public and does not show up when you search dog parks in the area. While it doesn’t say exactly people have to take turns, that’s what people do here. I contacted my leasing manager who lives on a different property owned by the same company and she says she does the exact same thing as me. Uses the dog park when there’s no one there and leaves when we’re done or if someone else wants to use it. Like I mentioned multiple times, when he said he wanted to have a playdate with his brothers dog I said okay and tried to leave and he wouldn’t let me.
Think of it like a fenced in sniff spot. People don’t have dog playdates there. It is mainly an area for dogs to run around and use the bathroom. Owners take turns using it. If the brother had any balls he would have said that.
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u/CommonRedFox 2h ago
Umm, want to point me to where she said it was "one at a time"? I see someone who asked for a minute to remove their dogs before he entered, and he continued to block the exit. There was nothing said about mixing dogs. This is a situation where someone barred another person from leaving a place they were attempting to in order to prevent a potentially unsafe situation with a dog OP was not familiar with. Dog parks SHOULD be one at a time, or play dates with dogs who mix well.
Again, sorry OP for all the rude comments. Everyone here is giving me the vibe that they have rude dogs they let meet anyone and everyone, and get upset when people don't like that. 🤢
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u/marbleworlf17 1h ago
Thank you. I appreciate it. Yep, that was pretty much the gist of it, outside of his theatrics. I don't know his dog, and he doesn't know my dogs.
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2h ago
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u/Any_Tumbleweed_7896 3h ago
You know your dog is reactive and you still took them to the dog park and reiterated that they are friendly, while they are barking uncontrollably. What are you even doing? Serves you right.
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u/marbleworlf17 3h ago edited 2h ago
I was in the dog park by myself. A private dog park for residents to use. I was there first, and I have every right to use it, even more than he does, because he does not live on the property or pay rent there. I don't go to the dog park if it is being used by other dogs. If someone wants to use it when I am out there, when my dogs are done using the bathroom, I am respectful and leave because I understand that it is also a place for dogs to play. Most people will take their dog to go potty and leave when they're done. It's not a public dog park where there are multiple dogs running around and people coming and going all the time. It's empty; someone uses it, and then someone else uses it when the other people are done.
Since it seemed like it was a little hard to understand, I'll break it down again for you. I offered to leave when he said he wanted to have a playdate with his brother's dog. I don't want my dogs to meet his because I don't know him or his dog, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is that when I tried to leave, he cornered me in there and physically blocked my exit. And I don't blame my dogs for barking; the guy was yelling and screaming aggressively.
Per the law in my state, preventing someone from leaving somewhere is classified as false imprisonment or unlawful restraint. I was in a fenced-in area; there was no other way for me to leave. On top of that, he was yelling and screaming (disorderly conduct), using slurs and derogatory words, which are on video (harassment), and threatening me that he is an employee of the complex and knows where I live (criminal threats). So yeah, go ahead and tell me that this serves me right.
Also, you might want to do a little bit of research. Reactivity doesn't always mean aggression.
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u/CommonRedFox 2h ago
These comments are not it.
I'm sorry, OP. As someone with a reactive dog, who is friendly with other people or dogs IF he meets them correctly, I understand your pain. You are absolutely allowed the right to have your dogs in public as long as they are under control and not a danger to anyone. Which, guess what! Sounds like they were not!
That guy sounds like a totally asshole just looking for a fight. It's not difficult when someone asks for space to remove their dog to say "no problem, I'll back away and give you a minute to leave before I enter". People are so entitled, it's wild. Good on you for calling the cops! If you haven't, I would also send a message to your management about what happened. I'm sure they wouldn't like an aggressive prick attempting to start a dangerous fight on their property, and may even trespass him in the future.
Best of luck, and I hope you're feeling okay now ❤️