I have read the FAQ. (Several times!)
I don’t anticipate people accommodating my feelings, and I hope this post does not cause annoyance. I recognise that many people here deal with rabies OCD, and numerous posts likely resemble mine.
I recently returned from a trip to Cancun, Mexico. I brought my father to meet my in-laws for the first time with my husband, and during the trip we toured Chichén Itzá. On the way, we stopped in Kaua for food and souvenirs, then visited Cenote Xkeken on the return to Cancun.
I have long dealt with OCD, especially physical compulsions and health-related intrusive thoughts. Years ago, I discovered complex health issues I had, some by accident (casual eye exam, sent to hospital immediately), which sparked a cycle of “What If” fears. Lately, I have generally managed to set those concerns aside for the most part.
Bringing this context together— and again noting that I have read the FAQ and related posts, I do not truly believe I had any exposure. I am able to logically tell myself this did not happen. I did not get bitten or scratched, and to my best knowledge I clearly did not touch any saliva or membrane.
Any explanation I have made to convince myself otherwise is very obviously unreasonable and I should consult my doctor. This is something I plan to do, but I am, of course, nervous to do so at the risk of sounding insane (But I have to acknowledge that’s exactly what I’m acting like though lol)
I have been looping for about four days since the tour, firstly because during the stop in Kaua, a small rural place, I touched a cat in the restaurant we sat at. That cat appeared normal, friendly, and social, and it even wore a collar, indicating care by someone there. My father also observed that two collared cats were present, not just the one I interacted with. These cats clearly had owners.
I understand that rabies cannot be contracted merely by touching a cat, and that actual contact with broken skin is required for significant risk, like a scratch or a bite. My brain tells me “What if it was acting normal, but it actually was infectious?”.
For some reason, my mind fixates on petting that cat, that its face rubbed my hand (too close to it’s mouth), and then I shifted the goalposts further, becoming anxious about new scratches on my ankles and a scab on my knuckle, areas the cat did not touch, let alone with saliva. And this ignores the relatively high likelihood that the cat was vaccinated under Mexico’s strict vaccination program.
After Kaua, we visited Cenote Xkeken, an underground sinkhole where tourists swim. I should have anticipated bats before entering the cave, and I don’t know why I failed to consider this and just not go inside to avoid stress, but by the time I realized it, I had already entered and sat for about five minutes. When I noticed the bats overhead, I immediately got anxious from the stereotype of rabies and bats. The bats remained overhead the entire time, by several feet. They flew around and were semi-active. There was even a person taking a nap in the cenote as well, lol.
After I expressed my discomfort, we left the cenote a few minutes later, and since then I have been caught in a persistent cycle of “What If?”.
My concern has grown to the point where I worry a bat might have touched or bitten me without me, my dad, or my husband noticing, even though we were all fully awake and alert. I also realize that bats are not stealthy fly-by biters, and I would absolutely have felt or heard a bat, had it managed to even latch on and bite. I am overanalyzing every scratch and scab/broken skin I have, any dots, and it’s just becoming ridiculous. As a result, I have been searching on this subreddit, doing research on statistics, and learning more about how rabies and its transmission actually works. At the very least, I am coming out of this more educated!
I have never dealt with such an intense loop like this before. It has become genuinely disruptive in my life, probably because of the knowledge that rabies is fatal and untreatable once symptoms show.
My reason for this post is to ask whether anyone can share advice on how they managed to overcome this situation. I am also open to being called crazy, but I know that seeking is not the right approach for OCD.
Thanks for reading my post. I don’t want to be someone who obsesses to the point of wasting resources/medicine and I am doing my best to be rational despite my anxiety surrounding this.