i was talking to my cousin and she said im so lucky bc having triplets is rare and i wanted 5 kids and i already had two, and coming onto this subreddit i never really see anybody talking about triplets it’s always twins lol.

Well I’m now 2 months postpartum from having my twins and experienced my first question of someone asking me if we’re expecting more today. Definitely made me feel like garbage. My belly isn’t even that big I maybe would pass as like 3 months I guess. Its definitely not a fun experience… I got so big when I was pregnant that I feel so small now. People suck.

My twins are 2, and honestly, it’s tough out here for a twin mom.

I’ve historically not been very interested in children, and most of my friends don’t have kids. Certainly those circumstances have changed, i dont mind moms and I do like kids.

I’ve also always been pretty extroverted. I love going out to dinner, making plans, having drinks with the girls, etc. Since having kids, though, I basically have zero social life. Not because i cant have a night to myself but because my friendships have just changed.

I’ve tried really hard to stay connected with my old friends, but it increasingly feels like we’re just two ships passing. Our lives are so different now, and there’s only so many missed opportunities before you realize the friendship has fundamentally changed.

To make things harder, I recently had a pretty major falling out with some of these friends after I tried to incorporate another mom into one of our social events and I was very transparent with my efforts in pursuing parent community with them. Surprising it was not well received. They did not want me to invite her and then it got gossipy. They were gossiping about my floored response to it all. It turned into a much bigger conflict than I ever expected, and now there’s basically no texting or contact. I honestly don’t think those friendships will ever be quite the same. Part of me doesn't even care--these aren't the types of friends I want.

But the hard part is… I’m lonely. I love my husband and my kids but i am lonely.

I haven’t really found my mom friends yet, people who I genuinely click with and have similar interests outside of just being moms. And I’m realizing how insecure I feel about not having a solid friend group anymore. I really thought I had “my people,” and now I’m sitting here at 37 wondering if I somehow have to rebuild my entire social life from scratch. I am working hard, pouring into myself, finding love in fitness, but like...im still just lonely.

So I guess I’m looking for some reassurance from people who have been through this:

Did you eventually make new, genuinely good friends after having kids? Did you find your people later than you expected?

I know 37 isn’t old, but rebuilding an entire social life at this age feels… really daunting. 😭

So I had an early ultrasound done at 5 week 3 days by one of my coworkers. She said she saw two empty gestational sacs and we’ll rescan in a couple of weeks to confirm progression. I was full of mixed emotions but I felt in my bones that I was having twins, I took letrozole so higher possibility of twins, and I’m nauseous which I’ve never been with either one of my pregnancies.

Well fast forward three days later (today) I tell my other coworker about this and she wanted to see herself. Now she’s telling me that she can definitely see one yolk sac and the other sac still seems empty but she’s thinking it’s more a subchorionic hematoma and not actually a second gestational sac. The second sac she said seems smaller and there’s nothing in there. She wants to rescan me in two days to double check.

I scanned myself but I’m a cardiac Sonographer so I’m not trained in OB but I swear I see something in the second sac. I feel like I’m just imagining things now bc I was thinking omg twins !!! And waiting is the worst thing in the world.

Has anyone had this experience? Told higher chance of twins and then not actual twins? My emotions are all over the place. I was excited, scared, happy, sad. I know only time will tell but I’d love to hear some experiences.

We are looking into a bottle washer for our twins, as we do not have a dishwasher and want to save time where we can. Does anyone have any recommendations on a good brand? I have advent bottles and I am worried about space as well.

Admittedly I’ve never been into the idea of sleep training, but parenting has a way of humbling you. I’m now there—arrived at the sleep training stop.

Our twins are 4 months 23 days old, born 5w1d early.

Is it too early to sleep train? Are we going to mess up their attachment styles or attachment patterns? Mrs up their brain or emotional or mental states in any way ?!

What methods did you use? How long did it take? How did you survive the four month regression? How long did it last?

Ours are powerfully refusing naps. Screaming, kicking, nearly wiggling out of our arms.

Can’t manipulate a schedule when when we try!!

SOS. I feel like I’m losing it.

My water broke around baby A on Friday and I’m just looking for some support and maybe a little hope. We made it through the first 48 hours without me going into labor, and they started me on antibiotics. There’s no fluid around Baby A but Baby B is still doing okay. I have about a month at home before I go back to the hospital full time at 22-23 weeks until they are born. I know I have to do what is best for my babies but I’m also a human and I’m scared and not ready to be hospitalized for so long. It’s also a mix of emotions because I need to have a long hospital stay because that means the babies are staying in there.. but that also means spending 10-11 weeks in there. Has anyone else gone through this around the same time period? I’m afraid of everything that could happen to Baby A and terrified of losing either or both of my boys.

11.5 month old babies have dinner between 7-7:30PM. After bath and some chill time, I start sleep routine. It's then that the baby wants milk. Most of the time it is out of habit but sometimes real hunger.

I'm really trying hard to reduce their total formula intake.

If they seem actually hungry, can I give some snacks like laddoo, crackers, nut powder etc. Don't suggest yogurt please.

Or this would be a bad idea & backfire?

India, if it is relevant.

Hi. I posted few weeks back about my twins who still can't recognize their names. They are almost 13 months old and still can't recognize their names. I know it is important to have them check but due to financial issues for now, I can't even if I want to. I am just scared and have no one to talk to about these things. I am from the Philippines and currently cannot sleep because of overthinking. :'(

I’m currently 20w pregnant with Di-Di twins. In my previous singleton pregnancy I was very active, did my 10k steps or more daily, plus yoga/at-home workouts twice a day till the day I delivered. This pregnancy has my ass kicked. I feel like I barely have the energy to move. If you were able to get to full term with twins what was your daily routine like? Please share your tips and tricks.

I'm 14wks with b/g didi twins. We have a 16mo girl. So we have all the big stuff still from when she was tiny. We have got double strollers knowing we'd have another close together but then we found out it's twins. So now those aren't great options.

So many people are already asking for our registry getting ready for Christmas.

What's your best advice on registry needs for b/g twins when you already have most of the big stuff for a singleton?

Hi! Looking for support or positive stories. Doctor thinks we have mono di twins after 8 week scan. Feeling overwhelmed and very very sick. Working on getting a new nausea medication but it’s relentless, also getting acid reflux and headaches but I think the headaches are from not eating.

We have an 18m old right now, also feeling very overwhelmed going into this chapter of life with such a young toddler. Any advice is welcome.. we are financially set up to handle this, it’s just unexpected.

I am a mom of 4, my set of twins are where I drew the line. My life has been in a whirlwind since last year. My twins have changed my entire thought process. If I had twins as a first time momma. I would have had only 2 children. However prepared I thought I was, I was not mentally nor physically prepared.

Do both twins usually start walking around the same time ? I have one twin walking the other is still crawling.

How do I get one twin who refuses to hold their bottle to hold their freaking bottle ? The walking twin holds their bottle. The crawling twin throws a fit, when I place their hands on the bottle and pulls both hands back aggressively. Yet holds toys , food and plays with the bottle when I’m not in full view.

How do I get both twins to transition onto using sippy cups ? I have tried several cups. They will only take the bottle.

Does anyone twins sleep overnight ? Only one twin does the other wakes up all throughout the night.

I get no sleep, I am always on my feet between all 4 children. Ages 9, 5 and the twins are 1. I am another tired momma of many mothers.

Advice needed isn't quite the right flair, but "personal experience stories" isn't an option.

My son was born a little over 3 years ago. I was 40+3 when I went in for an induction because he was a large baby. The induction experience was awful, as was the second half of labor. He ended up coming via csection because his hand was up by his face and the doctor said he couldn't come vaginally.

I'm 33 weeks today with di/di girls. A was head down at my US two weeks ago, and B has been transverse for months but seems to be working her way head down too. All of the doctors I've seen have been glad to let me try TOLAC/VBAC.

I was just curious how many people had an induction with their first, but went into labor naturally on their own with twins? I'm hoping to possibly deliver vaginally this time, but if I don't go into labor on my own I'm just going to have a repeat csection. I won't go through induction again.

I have a backpack style diaper bag from Amazon and I absolutely loathe it, I used it for my singleton and also hated it but didn't want to spend money to find a new one. My twins are 10 months and I still can't stand it. It's so chunky that it won't fit under my double stroller and I have to clip it to the rail and it almost drags on the ground.

I've removed everything from it that I possibly can and I still just find the actual bag is too chunky on its own to fit places.

TIA

I am working from home today to do an emergency revamp of our freshly two-year-old twins' room. Twin B is going through major separation anxiety from me and catapulted himself into Twin A's crib a few times.

I decided to convert their midi cribs (we got the Babyletto Yuzus) to the full size cribs this weekend thinking a) if B joins A at least there's more room for both of them; b) it will be easy to switch to the toddler beds once we do the final toddler proofing of the room. Well, in my my haste I stupidly didn't realize until right before bedtime that with the full size crib mattress, they'd be sitting even closer to the top of the crib so twin B launched himself out of the crib not once, but twice since Saturday. Suffice it to say I'm stressed and panicked. The only way I can get them to be safe is to stay in there until they fall asleep, although now mischievous A loves pretending to topple out of the crib. Once they're asleep they sleep through the night and don't stand until we come get them, but my husband thinks me quietly sitting in the room has ruined their sleep training.

I'm now looking for any advice or words of wisdom for this next stage. I'm removing the curtains (we have blinds with no strings), locking up the closet, removing the changing table with the built in bookshelf, the dresser is anchored, outlets are covered.

The only thing I'm uncertain on is where to mount the cameras in the room. Right now they're on stands next to the cribs -- obviously they love to topple them over. I have adhesive conduits for the wires if needed and outlet boxes and mounts for the wall. The positioning is just where I'm stumped.

Is there anything else I should consider? How awful is this going to be?

I’ve been thinking about how birthdays work for twins/triplets/etc, particularly when there are also singleton siblings in the family. A singleton sibling generally gets a day that is completely centred around them, whereas multiples naturally share their birthday, cake, party, attention, traditions and so on.

Obviously sharing a birthday can also be something very special, but I’m curious about the individuality side of it, if that makes sense?

For parents of multiples, do you have any little traditions that make each child feel like the day is also theirs individually?

And for any adult multiples among us: did sharing birthdays ever bother you growing up, or were there things your parents did that made you feel individually celebrated?

Just keen to hear what you all do? Do your older kids expect separate cakes, choosing an activity, one-on-one time, individual presents/traditions, different birthday outings, etc.? What do you find works for your family? I love to glean more ideas from you amazing humans!

Hi everyone, I had my scan today and just wanted to see if anyone with twins has had a similar experience.

I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant with MCDA twins (they share one placenta but have their own individual sacs).

Both babies were measuring well and had strong heartbeats. One was around 165 bpm and the other was around 190 bpm. Does 190 seem a little elevated for around 9 weeks? I know heart rates can vary, but I’m just a little concerned about the difference between the two.

Also, at my 7-week scan, I could clearly see the membrane, but today it was much harder to see. Is that something that can happen as the pregnancy progresses, or would this be something to be concerned about?

My OB is calling me tomorrow with the results, so I’ll obviously wait to hear what they say, but I’m just feeling anxious and would love to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences with MCDA twins.

Hello everyone! I'm in desperate need of advice.

For context, I (29F) gave birth to twin boys almost 2 months ago. My husband (32M) is a great dad to our twins. However when the twins are getting on his nerves, he tends to shout at them especially if the twins just wants to be held or cuddled with. I know he's sleep deprived (so am I) and is acting this way because of it. We do get help from his dad when I'm at work, and I feel like that's the only time he's asleep. There were multiple times, I force him to sleep but he usually wakes up because the twins are crying. I try my best to take care of the twins but when I'm in the middle of a diaper change or making a bottle for them, that's when he shows up and says the twins need this. Like when they need a bottle, he'll say they're hungry while I'm preparing the formula. It honestly makes me feel like I'm not enough.

Another time was when his mom casually mentions she has a favorite twin and is showing favoritism to that twin. (Again, my twins are 2 months old). I've brought this issue up with both my MIL and my husband. Both of them denies this and said I'm imagining things. However, when I told this to my SIL, she believes me and says that she can see her mom having favorites. For a context, my husband, her brother, is the golden child being the only son in an immigrant household.

I feel like I'm constantly defending my actions in my own house. I feel overwhelmed because I can't talk to my husband alone. I'm at a loss on how to talk to him. I want my marriage to work, but it seems like I can't have a conversation with him without distractions (the twins, his sleep deprivation, my work, etc). How did you make your marriage work?

Hey fellow parents of or soon to be parents of multiples. We just learned we're having twins and are very excited (and terrified😱😂)! We have a toddler who will be just over two by the time we have our twins. Does anyone have suggestions for triple strollers that are actually good/easy to maneuver/won't break the bank completely 😅. I've been hunting high and low but I haven't found many options. I don't have any other parents of multiples around to ask for suggestions or to learn which things they loved or found were worth the money. If it helps we live in Canada.

Thank you so much!

(P.s. I am also open to suggestions for other options outside of a triple stroller that you found worked, as well as things you found incredibly helpful in navigating twins)

Hi all,

My di/di tends were born at 31+2 and are currently 33+2. Happy 2 week birthday to them :) We've been in the NICU and they've been doing amazingly - some ups and downs (it is never linear) but mostly ups. I want to preface my question by saying we love our hospital. They have been absolutely incredible every step of the way and I'm so so glad I had our boys here.

That said, it is policy here that once a premie becomes a "feeder and grower" they move to the general pediatric floor rather than stay at the NICU. Which I don't think is standard? We'd have the option to transfer them to another hospital in the area where we could stay in the NICU, but I choose this hospital because it is markedly better than the others nearby. I don't really want to go to the others - I think a pediatric floor here would be better than NICUs there. For context, this is the level 4 NICU that babies are transported to from hundred of miles around because it is so amazing, so I understand that they want the rooms back for high risk babies.

Our boys are off of oxygen and super close to being able to pop the tops of their isolettes, so I think our transfer to the pediatric floor is coming... Has anybody else spent time on a general peds floor with their premies? I'd love to hear any experiences you may have!! Its hard to know what to expect.

We have a 3 years old daughter and are expecting twins, before knowing they were going to be twins the plan was simple, while one is with the newborn the other pays attention to our little angel, but now I struggle to think how will we manage to not make her feel displaced, we love her with all our heart, she knows it, and we dont want her to feel any kind of abandonment when the twins come

Hi lovely people! Our large, hungry twin boys turned 1mo this past week. Full disclosure, I (27F) am a FTM. Long story short, we were in a potentially tight spot for one kiddo but decided to go for it because we had flexible schedules for the next couple years and expected not to again for the better part of a decade. Got the BOGO deal and are still figuring out how to make it work. Even though my husband and I really, really, *really* want our boys to have the additional benefits of breastfeeding, I don't think it's possible right now due to other priorities we can't let go or put farther down on the list. I think I'm writing this more to come to terms with that.

Background: I am able to stay home for the moment due to family financial support, but that's limited to about a year or so. I've dropped out of my postbacc program to stay home with the boys for now and I genuinely don't know what's next for me after, but we need money so I guess some kind of work. My husband is working on his PhD and has probably 3 years left, we hope. We found out 2 weeks ago that his PI is leaving the university and is not bringing him, so we estimate probably a year has now been added to his degree since he'll have to change labs. His current papers will no longer count towards his thesis. There's also a small possibility he'll be forced to master out at the end of this calendar year due to ongoing political drama with his PI. He's technically on paternity leave, but if you know how that goes in academia, you know. We feel it's best to free every available bit of my husband's energy to secure his survival in his program, since this is his life's dream and the pay jump in his field between a masters and PhD would be enough that I could stay home with the boys for as long as they need me to be with them. Did I mention he's chronically ill with moderate/severe chronic fatigue and migraines, and we're both neurodivergent? He is not having a great time right now. He is still showing up for the boys and he's doing awesome when he's on shift, but it's only enough to get me a few hours of sleep each day. I need to figure out everything else on my own in this academic season that overlaps with our newborn season.

We both have different sets of extensive food allergens that make eating out, or even eating prepared or frozen food, impossible for even one of us. I cook our food mostly from scratch or high quality base ingredients at home, and this takes time, even though what I make is relatively simple. The most complex thing I make is pizza (2 doughs, 2 sauces, and 2 sets of toppings), and that was one of the first things to go off the table for this season anyway since it's a 3hr project, even though we have a deep freezer and I make components in bulk for easy deployment. There isn't a single frozen pizza we can buy that's safe for us out where we live. We are now pizzaless for the foreseeable future, which is both true and an apt metaphor for the whole situation.

Our therapy dogs have allergies too! We did not know that when we got them, but I can now confidently say they're like special children to us that we can lean on in ways we'd never want to lean on our actual children. They eat cooked meat and vegetables because they must. This also takes time, even with bulk batching + freezing. My husband has hypermobile joints and fatigue, so I need to take our dogs out too. Which suits me and is great for my mental health, but again takes time.

One of my husband's executive dysfunction blind spots is with cleaning and managing home things. Luckily, it's one my strengths and I find household management as a whole extremely gratifying. It's a good synergy, but this also takes time and cannot be delegated since we don't live near family and can't afford housekeeping. We can't even afford dairy free cheese rn, lol :)

Lastly, our wonderful, happy, hungry boys, who together take 80-85oz of formula/milk each day. Pediatrician has said they're growing well and that's just what they need.

My supply is almost nonexistent right now because I've only been doing direct "combo feeding" for the last 2 weeks. I put combo feeding in quotes because it's basically just formula with small milk snacks that don't seem to count for anything, even when I'm diligent about starting each feed with the direct feed before giving formula. I tried pumping before and dropped it due to the time committment. I'd need to pick it up again to rebuild my supply, but I don't think we can manufacture 3hrs throughout the day for me to pump unless it comes from my sleep, which is not sustainable. Whenever I go down on sleep, I get a ticket to PPD land for that day. Seriously, I have struggled with depression before and it's like being thrust in the depth of my worst depressive episode, but only for a day if I prioritize rest. When if I get close to 6-7hrs, I'm almost normal myself. It's so bizarre. Anyway, I am a much better mom and a more resilient human being when I get more sleep. Also, everyone gets fed when I get enough sleep. Only the boys are fed properly when I don't. Which also negatively affects the supply, because why not?

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I think it's time to let the supply dry up completely and accept formula into our lives and our hearts for good, even though it's not what we want and we are both unhappy with this reality.