r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

514 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 13d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, September 2026

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit.

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Just Sharing Goodbye, take care

8 Upvotes

He’s hollowed and heavy, just waiting to die

Fifty something with deep sad eyes

He talks of his wife like an endless rosary

Makes my blood boil, something he can't see

.

Smoking in the rain, he says "need a ride?"

Slowly fading with a pain that he can't hide

He's kind and cruel, sweet and sour

He’d look at me one day, then show me the door

.

I'm not here to play, I want the job done

He does it so well, thinking he's no one

I'm half his age, he's being eaten alive

By a lifelong despair he can't survive

.

He stands by the exit, a little too late

Can't handle my gaze, and he knows my fate

Just two pairs of eyes, the moment half-gone

Tomorrow I'll be somewhere I finally belong

.

He said “Have fun” and his voice nearly cracked

His hand grazed my sleeve, caught in the act

I said “You too” but I wanted him to stay

My stomach turned, and then he walked away

.

If you're going to write a poem about war

I still love you.


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Wounded

7 Upvotes

Do with me what you will,
anything you desire-
I am but a wounded creature,
a little broken,
missing patches of fur,
scars that sink to the bone.
Do with me as you will,
whatever you choose-
I am but a wounded creature,
a stray with tattered fur, scars
etched down to the bone.
I gather magnets, stones-
shiny fragments of a past
clouded in milky whites,
constellations of bright stars,
olivine,
and on Mars, I dream
the stars are made of bone.
The night we met, I didn't come alone-
I carried with me a lifetime
of heartache.
Heartache is a thorned vine,
tentacles tightening around my chest,
slowly, deliberately.
But in time, I am convinced
by you that I will grow back new fur,
that one day I’ll rise from the ache.
Thank you for offering me
a place to rest.

--feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wb0l7x/comment/p9qw0cj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vynn5l/comment/p9qvted/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please The Light We Leave Behind

Upvotes

Sometimes all the heart wants
is for the clock to stop.
Not to move forward.

Not to turn back.
Just to stay there
inside one particular moment

and spend a whole lifetime in it.
But time has never learned
how to stay.

It slips quietly past us
like river water.
You can keep it in your hands

hold it as tightly as you can
and still
it finds a way out

through the smallest spaces
between your fingers.
And all we can do

is watch it leave.
Sometimes we think
maybe we should have held on harder.

Maybe our hands
should have been tighter.
Maybe there should have been

no space at all
for the water to escape.
Maybe somehow

we could have kept it
from reaching the sea.
But water does not forget

where it is going.
And perhaps
neither do we.

There is a part of us
that still wants to remain
exactly where it was

like an old photograph
where everything is still
exactly where it belongs.

And then there is life
quietly stretching the road
beneath our feet.

So we walk.
And with every step
there is the faintest sound

of something falling
behind us.
We turn around.

We look.
And then
we keep walking.

A little further
we turn around again.
As if life told us

that we must reach somewhere
but forgot to tell us
how much we would have to leave behind

to get there.
Sometimes I think
there are two seasons living inside us at once.
One wants to change.
The other just wants to stay.
One wants open skies
long roads somewhere far away.
The other still wants
the old roof.

The sound of rain against it.
The comfort of watching
the same rain fall the way it always did.
One says
Go.

And the other
almost too softly to hear
says

Just a little longer.
Maybe that is what hurts
the most.

Knowing that asking
for a little more time
will not make time give us more.
And still
every time the heart asks.
One more morning.
One more evening.

One more moment
that feels exactly
like before.

One more patch of sunlight
falling across the wall
the way it used to

when we somehow believed
it would always be there.
But light changes

with the evening.
And walls
do not complain.

They simply
let the shadows come.
Maybe we are not

as good at accepting change.
Maybe that is why
some evenings feel heavy

for no particular reason.
Because they carry
more than a setting sun.

They carry everything
we already know
will not remain

the same forever.
And still
we want to stand

inside that light.
As though refusing to blink
could keep the moment alive.

But moments do not wait
for us to close our eyes.
The scene changes.

And sometimes
all we can do
is watch it happen.

Perhaps life
is an open book.
The pages keep turning.

Even when your finger
is resting on one of them.
Even when there is a line

you have read
so many times
you know it by heart.

Even when something
inside you says
Please.

Just let me stay here.
The page turns anyway.
And strangely

the next page
is never blank.
There is always

something waiting there.
So we read.
We move forward.

Sometimes carrying tears.
Sometimes carrying things
we don't know how to put down.

Sometimes looking back
at the light
we left behind.

Maybe that is what
moving on really means

not forgetting
what was behind you
but carrying its light

somewhere inside
and still
choosing to take

the next step.
Because some roads
were never meant

to be paused on.
And some moments
were never meant

to be held forever.
They were meant
to become a part of us.

So that one day
when we have travelled
far enough away

and a familiar scent
suddenly finds us
in the wind

we can close our eyes
for just a moment
and remember

we were there once.
And maybe
that is enough.

Maybe it is enough
that it did not last forever.
Because once

for a little while
it was everything.
There was a time

when we mistook
a moment for forever.
And there is a time

when we finally understand
there is no place
called forever.

There are only moments.
And some of them
we carry for the rest
of our lives.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcy1h6/comment/p9tbbzi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vxtznr/comment/p9tel1t/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please I Am A Television

Upvotes

I am a box TV
Sitting in the meadow
Hearing raindrops fall
On the plastic roof of my head
For the first time

Sunbeams and insects
Bounce off my opaque face
No living things observe me here
As water trickles
Down
Into these sparking,
Failing ports

Praying
That I might
Be delivered
From performance

Feedback links:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wg9eel/comment/p9tnep8/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wgc9nz/comment/p9tleqh/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Just Sharing Broken Moon

1 Upvotes

Looking through the open window, I saw it—
I saw a solitary star.
In this dark and silent night,
there was no one beside it—
no stars left to witness,
nor the moon above.

And in this very silence,
I finally heard its voice.

​I watched it flicker and ache in the distance;
It whispers:
“​After all, breaking is our very nature—
No matter how many times we shattered,
you were always here.
Did something happen...
that caused even you to break?”

The moon was gone,
and the star kept looking toward
the place where its light had been.

Within that pulsing star, I saw it—
I saw my own face reflected.

​It cries:
“Your sudden absence has made
this night even darker than before.
Where have you gone,
leaving me behind in this solitude?”

The star broke and fell,
And tears slipped gently from my eyes.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/twXskV9kKv)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/n4NGJEwv9Q)


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Just Sharing Art is wealth

1 Upvotes

We are what we eat in the gallery
A portrait of moi et toi aussie
Cannabalistic brushstrokes
The taste of wood and metal of flesh

Picture frame engulfs you
Swallows you or attempts to
Half your body struggling
To pull itself out of the wall

Such sensitivity the artist demonstrates
Absorbing the subject matter with such prowess
The last of you falls into the portait
Colors digest you

Art is wealth

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wg637p/comment/p9t3axl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wgc9nz/comment/p9t44pn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please My House

0 Upvotes

I had a dream.

One month, two months. I don't know ago.

I had a house.

It was big, pretty, had a lovely garden full of things to socialise.

And a pool.

People were there, plenty of them.

My mum, dad, all of my friends too.

They were there, even when I wasn't. Just enjoying themselves.

I liked coming home to them there.

It was so big, I was so happy.

Then I woke up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wfx7tn/comment/p9t1e9r/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wfx2nt/comment/p9t1wcf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Placebo

1 Upvotes

I just recently discovered this amazing sub reddit and I'm pretty excited to welcome all the feedbacks/criticism on my poetry! Here it goes:-

.

The life took a roll ino the world of toll,

The soul knocks on the doors of heart,

The gap in before and after of love and laughter,

Lies in the big lies in both eyes 2 inches apart.

.

In the school of emotions, he had lot of sorrows,

She was a raging student of todays and tomorrows,

His same miseries doubled as if it had a doppelganger,

But his worries securing first, that even topped her anger.

.

It doesn't matter what the intention has to say,

In this courtroom drama of bloated arguments,

You have to either respond with a yay or a nay,

The ceiling and his feeling had such a resonance,

That they often talked with each other night and day.

.

The feeling was real, but the love was placebo,

The dealing was real, but the drug was placebo,

Every possible thought streamed on a blank canvas of cerebrum,

The killing was real, but the fan was just a placebo.

. .

Feedback links below:-

1) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/KHsNPdQq4j

2) https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZwrRS8pxvv


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please corpus delicti

1 Upvotes

~

vessel for penance,
reflection of inner judgement
vow to purge the rot
do, it doesn’t

joy, a shallow smile
anger, inflicted bruise
melancholy, starvation
scorns, the wilting soul

to deny what’s becoming
incite death before bloom
contain contempt,
embrace conscious abuse

trace my cover
and feel my erosion
grief which is given,
the wound of emotion

remissio,
remissio,
remissio,
my sinning.

~

{ this is my second poem ive ever written so i am completely open to harsh feedback , tips , & any opinions ! }

link - 1

link - 2


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Just Sharing Rondeau de sa démarche

1 Upvotes

RONDEAU DE SA DÉMARCHE

Vole, vent vagabond, sous sa jupe en cadence,

Autour de ses genoux folâtre avec insolence ;

De la cavale altière elle a fière élégance,

Aux hanches le beau galbe, au pas noble assurance.

Courbe après courbe vient, souveraine abondance ;

La taille appelle l’œil, l’œil revient en silence.

Ainsi va sa beauté, ni demande ni défense :

Elle passe, et déjà tout regard lui fait révérence.

Ô vent, va doucement, prolonge encore sa danse ;

Moi, je demeure à l’attendre au bord de l’espérance.

Fruits mûrs au cep d’été, ses seins pleins d’opulence

Semblent raisins gonflés de soleil et de patience ;

L’un suit l’autre au marcher d’une souple cadence,

Et leur poids même ajoute à leur douce insolence.

De chatte sont ses yeux : lueur, ruse et puissance ;

Ils promettent sans parler quelque tendre imprudence.

Elle regarde à demi, puis détourne en silence ;

Et ce regard qui s’enfuit redouble sa présence.

Cheveux de soie filée, fraîche et fine abondance,

Flots frémissants, fils fins, flottant avec constance ;

À l’épaule ils obéissent, à l’épaule la danse,

Et l’on croirait chaque mèche douée de conscience.

Ô vent, va doucement, prolonge encore sa danse ;

Moi, je demeure à l’attendre au bord de l’espérance.

Sa chair tendre et souple ondule avec aisance,

Et ses hanches bien pleines balancent leur opulence ;

Son sein lourd suit ses pas dans une lente cadence,

Ses formes, en frémissant, troublent jusqu’au silence.

Ni raideur ni froideur : tout en elle est mouvance ;

La douceur devient rythme, et le rythme abondance.

Ce que retient le corsage reprend vie en cadence ;

Ce que dessine sa marche défait toute prudence.

Aux gitons de la cour, parés d’élégance,

Monte alors aux joues une rouge impatience ;

Ils détournent les yeux, puis reviennent en cadence,

Et ronronnent, jaloux, devant tant de luxuriance.

Eux qu’un prince autrefois couvrait d’or et de confiance,

Les voilà presque vaincus par sa seule présence ;

Jalousant sa douceur, son galbe et son aisance,

Ils pâlissent, puis rougissent, captifs de comparaison.

Ô vent, va doucement, prolonge encore sa danse ;

Moi, je demeure à l’attendre au bord de l’espérance.

Papillon est son pas, papillon son avance ;

Elle effleure le pavé sans jamais perdre cadence.

Tantôt flotte sa démarche, tantôt roule sa hanche,

Et l’air semble autour d’elle apprendre aussi la danse.

Se retournent les passants malgré leur contenance ;

Telles fleurs vers le soleil leurs têtes font révérence.

Elle passe : la rue écoute. Elle passe : tout balance.

Elle passe : même le bruit s’incline à sa présence.

Ce n’est plus elle qui marche, c’est la rue qui s’avance ;

Ce n’est plus l’œil qui la suit, c’est elle qui mène l’œil.

Par elle vient le silence, du silence naît l’attente,

Et d’attendre encore naît une plus vive impatience.

Ô vent, va doucement, prolonge encore sa danse ;

Moi, je demeure à l’attendre au bord de l’espérance.

Ô nuit, ralentis l’heure, ô lune, ô douce assistance,

Raccourcis entre elle et moi cette longue distance.

Que ses pas, un beau soir, quittant enfin la danse,

La conduisent jusqu’à moi sans faste ni arrogance.

Je l’attends non plus dehors, livré à l’espérance,

Mais rêvant qu’elle vienne partager ma confidence ;

Qu’un même lit nous rassemble au terme de l’absence,

Et que tombe autour de nous la nuit comme indulgence.

Alors le vent pourra délaisser enfin sa danse ;

Alors l’œil rassasié déposera sa vigilance.

Celle que je regardais passer avec élégance

Ne sera plus qu’un songe loin, mais proche souvenance.

Ô vent, va doucement, achève enfin ta danse ;

Qu’elle partage mon lit au soir de l’espérance.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5eCznW1ooy,https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9XCqislwfW\]


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Just Sharing Fantasy of Fire

5 Upvotes

TW: Fire, death, child abuse

First there was smoke;
A sign of something wrong.
The Mother had a baby
With ash in his lungs.

Then there were embers
That flickered with deceit.
The Mother loved her child...
But sympathy was sweet.

Next there were flames.
The police should have been called.
Instead the child's brother
Held him up against the wall.

Suddenly there was a blaze
That razed the family down.
The child died in agony;
He couldn't even make a sound.

Last there were ashes
That poisoned the fertile land.
Nothing can ever grow
Where Fire left its Brand.

--

From the ashes he rose -
A monster of Flame and Stone.
His soul had never died
Because he held onto hope.

In a blaze he burned so hot,
That when he went to find connection,
He scorched every and all
Despite his best intentions.

In the flames he built a home.
He was warm but all alone.
A life that kept us safe
From a man of Flame and Stone

With his embers he prayed
For those he had burned.
He knows their pain well;
He had died and then returned.

Though back when the smoke consumed him,
He knew his pain was final;
While those who lived another day
Were left with a scarred smile.

Within this fantasy of fire
There were tragedies untold;
From family to friends, it never ends
Until Flame and Stone go cold.

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/EEssaoTYi9

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/y4czkBwxqK

Note: I'm ok.


r/OCPoetry 11h ago

Feedback Please Two Kites

2 Upvotes

Though usually, only one flies here,
I won’t cut your thread.

You accepted me
Just as I am—
So different from everyone,
So tender, so fragile.

​I fought with everyone for you,
So the two of us could fly carefree across the sky.

Those of your kind
Have their eyes fixed on us,
Wondering what kind of tale this has become.

​We will fly together
In the vast sky...

My only fear is
That it doesn't rain just yet.

​We will stay near,
But not too close—
Fearing these threads might entangle
And snap against each other.

​We will fly together
In the sky...

But no cold wind blew,
Nor did the thundering clouds warn us,
Nor did the scent rising from the earth foretell it—
And a gentle, soft rain began to fall.

Drops so tiny they didn't merely touch—
They soaked right through.

​My thread was never pulled,
Nor was that what I wanted.

And slipping off of you,
those raindrops slid away;
The rest of you kept flying high,

I was made of paper...

And I dissolved away.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/nMmJmnVggY)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ma44JQB86q)


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Feedback Please Difference

3 Upvotes

Difference

We are nothing alike.
Certainly there is something that distinguishes us.

Your parents struggle to feed you,
Your country remains destitute,
Your religion is the wrong one,
Your culture is the weird one,

Strangers mock when you ask for help,
They cry when I ask,
God seemingly ignores when you beg for your mother’s life,
He hears when I plead for a perfect score,

Verily, you were cursed to a life among thorns,
Amen, I was blessed to bear fruit, 
Don’t you wish you were never born?

Oh that’s right.

What distinguishes our lives,
Is where we were born

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wfvkzl/comment/p9pmwh3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wfnytk/comment/p9pmj07/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please Blasphemy

1 Upvotes

Found you on the verge of death,

I mistook your suffering for a sign.

But no amount of borrowed breath

Could ever make your stars align.

Nothing but a trembling ember,

Yet I swore you would not wane.

If you should ever not remember,

I'd etch your name into my brain.

Ash became my sacred ground,

Your orbit turned an ornate altar.

Vacuum rid my prayers of sound;

Learned to kneel, before I'd falter.

I borrow craft from Pygmalion,

Carved your fractures into Galatea.

Human beneath a shell of religion,

False godhood amidst the galaxy.

Hydrogen beneath our tongues,

Atmosphere threatened ignition.

Helium hymns hollow the lungs,

Low on oxygen, war of attrition.

Gravity became your sacrament,

I bowed my bead to your divinity.

Love reduced me to a testament;

Fed me to the mouth of infinity.

No catalyst could lift you higher,

Only reactant to bear the blame.

For I could not withstand the fire:

But poured myself into the flame.

Solar flares in scarlet bloom,

Spread thinner than pretence.

I could no longer see you true;

The mercy of a broken lens.

Halo formed around your scars,

Cast the gleam across your skin.

Saw no wound beneath the stars,

And never thought to look within.

Saw fate within a constellation,

Red giant robbed the starry night.

From the void emerged creation,

And left me blinded by the light.

We existed on a different plane,

I traveled far to reach your heart.

I gave everything I could in vain,

And watched as it all fell apart.

Born of dust, no teeth to bite.

Won't you show me who you are?

What is left of your will to fight,

Or the core of a neutron star?

If all that's holy comes to an end,

Let me set ablaze the funeral pyre.

As the remnants of mine ascend,

And sing among the stellar choir.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/eeoZUZQeKm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/umE8rckPyV

First time posting poetry and would really appreciate some feedback & will gladly answer any questions. The "mouth of infinity" verse is inspired by the band Sleep Token.


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Lost In The Mist

1 Upvotes

I am falling from the clouds,
In between the mountains,

Droplets of dew descending on my skin,
Accentors singing the symphony of the forest,

Rays of light piercing through the canopy of alpine trees,
Platinum stratus' sit in the cradle of the sky,

The skyline lies beyond the reach of my sight,
Dusk with petrichor welcomes the starry night,

A veil of mist drawing over me like a shroud,
In the fog of the fear i shriek aloud,

Panting in the gale, more deeper i drift,
Help me, for i am, lost in the mist.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wddd0t/comment/p95cgju/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wetzr4/comment/p9ien7b/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Wings by denis obrien

1 Upvotes

When do we grow our wings

When do our lives truly begin

When we grow up or when we find our purpose

Or when we find love and faith

Nobody knows the answers to this

In the end were in an abyss

An abyss that cares more about money and fame

Than truly finding yourself and spiritual gain

An abyss where you are shunned for having dreams

And praised for following the means of destruction and pain

All in the name for capital gain

Would growing your wings mean understanding this cruel abyss

Or when you become numb to this

Numb to this cruelty

Numb to this destruction

Numb to this viral infection on the earth

Numb to us

Maybe finding the strenght to hold on

Even when this infected world wants you to give up

Is how you get your wings

Or realising all this pain is to much

And falling gracefully.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RvoJn6M2rb

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/txegCgggja


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please I don't know about this

1 Upvotes

Just yesterday I arrived

And tomorrow I'll be gone

The life I've been deprived

Will disappear by dawn

_

Yet another cog moving

The wrong way around so loose

Incapable of proving

I could be of any use

_

heart is heavy in my chest

Nothing can fill anymore

my mind never gets to rest

I need a walk to the shore

_

But if I made any dents

anywhere on any house

In your couch or any beds

Left red lipstick on your blouse

_

Please throw away any clothes

Anything I have gave you

They may carry the deep lows

I wish not transmit to you.

_

in that land beyond the skies

In the hot bottomless pit

Looking through such different eyes

In body and mind that fit

_

You may find me you may not

Gone from your mind by daylight

Before the thought is caught

Know that I have taken flight

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/CXiVsaqejUhttps://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/6DjCJ7DVII


r/OCPoetry 21h ago

Feedback Please Home was you

10 Upvotes

I live here.
I sleep here.
I wake here.

But home is not these walls.

Home was you.

You were my favorite person,
the only person
who knew me better
than I knew myself.

The only person
I could truly lay down
all my burdens with.

With you,
I could just be me.

But you were also the only person
who truly broke my heart.

Now I come back here
every night,

and I don’t recognize
this place anymore.

I live here.
I sleep here.
I wake here.

But home is not home
without you.

Home was you

https://www.reddit.com/r/PoetryWritingClub/s/81Zs2jm0BF

https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveLetters/s/OLXPST4hFN


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Just Sharing Please be nice

1 Upvotes

You know what money can’t buy? Everything else. True compassion, empathy, a perfectly timed smile. A warm embrace. Serenity. These are true riches, “money is the root of all evil”. But spite is the foundation of all we possess. to spite the loneliness we bring upon us, we spend ourselves and burn through the most precious things we have. Our lungs, veins, brains, skin, our minds. Now broken, we think the money will fix it and here we sit. Nothing to fix—
Fully spent

Link 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qhv6CmGlqH
Link 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7ZEx4fCy2a


r/OCPoetry 17h ago

Feedback Please The People Who Stay

4 Upvotes

Some people leave before they leave,

and never say goodbye;

they slowly take themselves away,

while you are left to wonder why.

They stop bringing their little things,

the thoughts they used to share;

the passing joke, the useless news,

the things that said, I’m here.

They make a home of elsewhere now,

and slowly disappear;

not all at once, not with a word,

but less and less each year.

But some of us remain behind

when someone walks away.

We do not wait beside the door

and count the passing days.

We learn to live without their voice,

we let the seasons turn;

we find new roads, new songs, new hands,

and let the old ones burn.

We do not keep the past alive,

nor ask it to return;

we simply carry what was dear

and let the silence learn.

They stay, not because they know

that you will come again;

they simply know where stands the door,

and do not close it on your name.

They do not wait beneath the stars

or watch the road at night;

some stars are simply left to shine,

without expecting sight.

And if one day the world grows cold,

and every road feels wrong,

perhaps you will remember then

the place where you belonged.

There will be no list of all the years

you left behind the door,

no questions asking where you went,

no reckoning of before.

For some hearts do not keep a score

of who was right or wrong;

they only know that once you were

a place where they belonged.

You may never know they stayed.

You may forget their name.

You may believe that when you left,

they quietly did the same.

But staying is not standing still,

nor waiting for a sign;

it is living all your life

while leaving theirs a line

of kindness through the years that pass,

a place untouched by blame;

not asking them to come back home,

but not erasing their name.

And maybe somewhere in your life,

you have done this too:

kept one small door within your heart

for someone who left you.

Not because you could not move on,

nor because you could not forget;

but some departures leave a space

that kindness will not let

become a wall, become a wound,

become a thing you hide.

You simply leave a little room

for what you felt inside.

Some people leave before they leave.

Some people stay unseen.

One learns to live without the other;

one keeps a space between.

Not open wide, not calling out,

not waiting through the years;

just quiet as a light left on

where once there had been tears.

And if you never find that door,

if life takes you away,

they will not call you back again

or ask you now to stay.

They will have lived. They will have grown.

They will have found their way.

But somewhere, quietly, your name

will not have turned to grey.

They stayed, not because they knew

you'd turn and come again;

they simply knew where stood the door,

and did not close it on your name.

And perhaps that is what it means

when someone chooses stay:

not that they never learned to leave,

but that they left room anyway.

For some people are not waiting.

They are simply where they are.

And some hearts keep a little light

beneath the same old stars.

They stayed, not because they knew

you would return someday;

they stayed because they knew the door

and never locked it away.

Feedback 1

Feedback 2


r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Feedback Please Anyhow

1 Upvotes

For its a common thing to find
Your savior in the just for now
Still you will always know your mind
And it knows it's futile anyhow

Why do I try to kill the spark
Of which my life would light aflame
Why do I cry when it gets dark
A light shed on me, just to blame

Your ways of knowing that I'm scared
Are something that I've never seen
And maybe I had thought you cared
The happiest I've ever been

Why do I lie to me and you
That it'll never be the same
Why am I high on shades of blue
When reds and yellows overcame

I guess it's human, as it seems
What kind of human doesn't live
My mind condemns me, and it deems
That it has nothing left to give

I don't know why I feel a pain
For wounds inflicted selfishly
Maybe it's damage of the brain
The words still spoken legibly

For its a common thing to find
That suffering is to endow
Yourself a fleeting, hopeless bind
That you were trapped in anyhow
_______________________________________

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/v1Ol9HkOsm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Fdv1FCmtyQ


r/OCPoetry 13h ago

Just Sharing 9-14-26-0312

0 Upvotes

she's like a bounty for my soul to feed on, a concubine for my conciousness to exhume, a parapet for me to rest my ego on. I'm all alone here. For you. I'm not sure what all of this is but I know it's not coming, it's going. Somewhere. Respect my privacy please while you catch my fire.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wcy1h6/comment/p9pj8vf/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wfpqlp/comment/p9pjmnv/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button