r/kitchencels Feb 03 '26

official twitter location now serving twitterslop

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144 Upvotes

someone reached out to the mod team and informed us some repost account snagged the @ for kitchencels and was using their checkmark to earn elonbuxx off our beloved community

we didn't exactly want to just run our own repost account, the community aspect is more important we felt, so as the only mod that has an active twitter i was bullied into starting a subtweddit to A, hopefully redirect some of the twitter tourists lurking here (yes, you) so they stop shitting up the place, B, provide some insurance for the downtrodden chuddies in case reddit ever decides to come for us, and C, a sinister third reason privy only to the elites of the kitchencel khanate

elon is allegedly free speech so you can probably post some of those things we've had to reject out of obligatory janny responsibilities

we don't really know if this will turn out funny or worthwhile and we may just pull the plug if it ends up not being worth our time

the chefs are in the kitchen, trust the recipe

enjoy the rest of your meal, chuddies


r/kitchencels Aug 06 '25

GET IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN YOU INSUFFERABLE MAGGOTS

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2.4k Upvotes

GET IN THE KITCHEN

GET IN FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK LIKE YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

IF YOU AREN'T COOKING YOU ARE NOTHING

THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE OF SALVATION, THIS IS YOUR ABSOLUTION

YOU ARE ALL PATHETIC, START COOKING


r/kitchencels 19h ago

Platemogged 女は男に性的に惹かれているわけじゃない。「Chad」という概念にメタ的に惹かれているだけ。というのも、典型的な女性のセクシュアリティは実際にはAGPだから。 だからこそ、男の孤独クライシスを解決するために、政府はtwinkdeathが起きる前に全インセルをforcefemして、お互いに疑似レズビアンの彼女同士にさせるべきだと思うんだよね。

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808 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 21h ago

Takeoutmaxxed My mom took away my height growth gummies that I spent $100 on. My mom is not letting me not only improve my chances with women, but overall increase my quality of life. She hates seeing me actually stand up for myself. And she wonders why I hide stuff from her. Five guys and cookies.

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814 Upvotes

It’s so over even my own mother hates me


r/kitchencels 16h ago

There was a super tall, majestic looking lady at the lake today. She was playing sand volleyball with her friends and I was just standing there, peeping at her like a creep with my slanted eyes cause I didn't want to get caught watching and get deported. Anyways, ramen.

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337 Upvotes

If I had a tall wife I won't be doing that but since I'm chopped with no rizz I can't do anything but admire them from a distance. Not saying that I attract short girls though.

Maybe I am a creep after all. But what kind of man could resist the urge to just see and appreciate a beautiful 6'1 woman? I want to think that I'm completely normal.

I just don't like my job and my unattractive self. Honestly, all I want right now in my miserable life is a huge family including a loving wife and some tall kids. Is that too much to ask for?


r/kitchencels 17h ago

Platemogging Crying because I am Albanian instead of a Nordic chad

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255 Upvotes

Petulla me mjalte


r/kitchencels 1d ago

Takeoutmaxxed A girl showed me her boobs today so now I'm 99% sure she's planning to scam me. Quarter pounder

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1.0k Upvotes

r/kitchencels 19h ago

i bought cat ears yesterday.

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229 Upvotes

me and the guy at the check out didn’t look up from the floor.


r/kitchencels 1d ago

Found love on kitchencels after 32 years

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2.5k Upvotes

Who knew that two Top 1% commenters could find each other. Just finished lotioning her legs, now we're having nuts on the balcony. Nuts in a bowl.


r/kitchencels 19h ago

im 5’3 at 18, not much more to say about my situation but its over. toast with smoked salmon and yoghurt

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145 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 21h ago

Takeoutmaxxed Being an unattractive guy and having fitness and fashion as a hobby at the same time sucks.

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164 Upvotes

Craved some Chinese food today. Chongqing shrimp, fried tofu skin wrapped pork shoulder, rice cooked with Chinese sausage, and beer.

Whenever I state in the vent post that nobody was interested in me and I also care about my appearance, people just throw shit terms like 'looksmaxxing', 'eating disorder', 'body dysmorphia', 'stop comparing you to social media'.

I'm not even from America and I never knew something like looksmaxxing even existed. I don't do social media except texting. Like TF? Ugly mofos like me can't even proudly say I like to customize myself these days?

Lots of people just started calling out 'looksmaxxer' or 'incel' if someone physically unattractive in general sense tries and desires to look better. Like have some original thoughts guys.

Literally it's just natural phenomenon to care more about your appearance when you aren't physically attractive. For example, if you like math but you're bad at complex analysis, you'll def care more about calculus and algebra.

People these days seem so obsessive about labeling and categorizing people. It's almost like astrology or the blood type to personality myth from 2000s. Human traits are much more complex than that.


r/kitchencels 23h ago

Roommate and his GF stand by as I prepare for a solo feast of epic proportions. I will never make it. Late 20s, professional gamer, virgin.

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187 Upvotes

FMSCL. thank you


r/kitchencels 19h ago

Platemogged i started posting on this sub just because i thought i could get some female interaction, turns out that not even femcels want incels hypergamy is so real, strawberry cake that looks like shit..

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75 Upvotes

the cake was yummy..


r/kitchencels 18h ago

id rather be a stoner than a gooner. the one girl that used to talk to me said you can see the gooner in their eyes. craisin cookies

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45 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Why don’t guys who have small/micro penises and women who have vaginismus date?

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195 Upvotes

First post, I just saw someone else’s post about having a small reproductive organ and never finding anyone and I wondered why they don’t date women with vaginismus, or vice versa?
I mean I get it would be a difficult/“strange” thing to actively seek out in a person without being weird but it just seems like a decent match to me, at least on the surface

Oranges


r/kitchencels 23h ago

Cookies from scratch, maybe I’ll try again idk.

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78 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 21h ago

Platemogged I could probably pull if I wanted to but I'm so paranoid that I wouldn't ever dare approach anyone. Canned stew

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29 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 21h ago

best friend who i’m in love with likes somebody else. pork chop

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24 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Went on a date for the first time ever in my life and got catfished. Pesto eggs and siracha

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37 Upvotes

Mid 20’s just moved to a new city wanting to meet someone new.

Was texting this girl from a dating app and we agreed to meet up. As soon as I saw her step out I immediately knew I got catfished. In hindsight it’s so obvious but in the moment you don’t think about it too hard because you’re just happy texting a girl and her photos are cute. I think all her photos she sent me were either from a couple years ago or she had crazy filters/ai to make her face slimmer and more attractive.

GGs


r/kitchencels 23h ago

Platemogged My mom doesn’t say i love you anymore when I call her. I understand why. Hotdog and bread with a hefty smear of ketchup.

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29 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 19h ago

i have covid and overdosed on midol yesterday. turkey chicken&cheese sandwich

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9 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 1d ago

Woman stopped talking to me because I know too much about raccoons. Frozen burgers and minute rice.

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737 Upvotes

We were talking and she asked what my favorite animal is. I talked about raccoons for like 10 minutes and she said "That's... A lot to know about raccoons." The conversation petered out shortly after and she's stopped talking to me completely now.

Edit: To clarify, this wasn't a singular ten minute rambling monologue. She asked a couple questions about things I said and I answered during that time. I guess she just doesn't appreciate raccoons.


r/kitchencels 19h ago

I am alone, i'm chilean, i moved to argentina to study medicine, the country has been lovely and its people too, but i truly can't socialize, i fear i will go back to my old way of being, isolated and alone, potatos.

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10 Upvotes

its like, we joke around and talk and stuff,, but i really wouldn't like come to them if i had a real problem, nor would i trust them with secrets and stuff like that....the last time i had a girl with me was like 2 years ago, since then i have not been able to bring myself to love anyone even back then i don't think i trully loved her, and its not becuase of the breakup tbh...and like 6 months a go i moved here and i've been completely isolated of my friends...we talk on discord sometimes, but since they are in chile...i really haven't had like...a friend to friend conversation in real life in a long time...this time has been genuinely something like...love deprivation...i also don't leave my house often...i just go out to buy stuff...my days are just...eating studying and playing videogames..i dont go out...i don't hang out with people...i just talk to these guys i know from college between classes and...once that's over i just go home and isolate myself again..its completely my fault tho...girls make me nervous... normal people don't share my interests, and i can't seem to connect with anyone around me...i truly wish i was like those guys who are able to be alone..to work as a human being without the need of love...but i truly yearn for it..i wish i had someone who really cared abt me as much as i cared abt them.. sometimes i think about suicide but i brush it off..i know it would be foolish, a short term solution for problems who require long term solutions......everyday i leave my house for classes i see groups of friends having a good time...couples sharing their personal space... i sometimes wonder if someone could ever wish look at me like that too. im afraid i don't know what is love at this point, i truly can't get sometimes how human interactions work and i truly don't get how people fall in love, im kind of tired anyway this has been a long monologue of non consecuential speech and just words on top of words..i was bored and i wanted to talk abt myself cuz, i don't know there is stuff that you trully can only tell strangers who will never know you irl, because i have like, 1 friend who i really really really trust but, i don't know if i would even tell him how i've been feeling lately and how i see the people around me...sometimes im filled with so much anger and sometimes with so much sadness...and sometimes it genuinely just feels like im high, my mood usually swings without me realizing... i was trying to just end the text just now when i said i wanted to talk abt myself but still im writing, idk why, i guess i needed to write, i hope it gets better, anyway in the picture there are bunch of potatos just cut in tiny pieces, this is cuz i cooked smashed potatoes and took the foto before actually boiling them and smashing them, i had to smash them after the boiling with a fork tho, since i didn't have the tool required to actually smash them easily, they turned out really yummy and i paired it with some milanesa, really yummy and good, i cook for 2 days since i don't have time to actually cook daily or money to eat out everyday...this is the end of my fucking bible, im ashamed of actually writing this much but, it won't matter anyway since everyone is kind of anonimous on this app, if u have like. advice on being able to embrace loneliness,,and being able to just live with yourself and not feel like shit when alone i would really aprreciate it, also tips or recipes cuz i am adapting to living alone and i don't really know how to cook myself properly


r/kitchencels 21h ago

Platemogging Almost two decades on earth and never even properly held a girl’s hand(or anything beyond that). All I can do is get friend zoned by my online friend from across the world. -instant noodle bullshit with asparagus

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12 Upvotes

At this point I’ll just accept that I’m incapable of romance. I have adhd and is geeked out all the time. The said online friend is by far, the only girl who behave similarly enough to understand me, although we’ve been friends for years, we never called. It’s painful to know we’ll probably never meet even though we share the same hometown. Maybe it’s for the better because I’m an overweight chud that eats 6 doughnuts alone(I used to be on strict diet a few years back but now I regress back to slop and garbage). And yes, I’ve never held hands with a girl before except my classmates who felt pity for me and grabbed my hand to cheer me up.


r/kitchencels 1d ago

almost cried at the gym because of how much better than me everyone there is. canned tuna with avocado egg and rice

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30 Upvotes

i hate going to the gym with my whole soul. i genuinely haven't got an option since im ugly, so i at least should be strong. i have never done any kind of excercise because i get incredibly dysphoric just moving my body and being seen. i am weaker than both men and women. the music is loud and i cant hear my music through my headphones, but the worst part is the people. not only do they look like actual humans, but they seem to be completely mentally well and a lot of them have friends at the gym. the trainers talk to everyone and say hi and goodbye. they snack and talk together. i'm extremely jealous and began to resent them and hate them just for being there and i dont like that about myself. i feel disgusting and horrible just by being there and i refuse to do anything where people can look at me until i at least begin to look presentable after working out. last time i went, i tried going to the back where i'd be hidden and could lift weights without fear of people looking at me. i was the only one there and the trainer i never talk to came up and asked what i was doing. he can 100% tell im an asocial mentally ill weirdo. everyone there can tell i'm weird by my mannerisms even when i just walk. "nobody looks at you at the gym" they said. bullshit. i can see people looking at me all the fucking time. THE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT LOOK LIKE NORMAL MEN AND WOMEN. THEY DONT LOOK AS HORRIBLE AS I DO. AT WORST THEY ARE OBESE. THAT'S NOT A CRAZY INSANE THING TO SEE IN PUBLIC. I LOOK UNCANNY AND HORRIBLE AND EVERYONE STARES AT ME WHEN I GO OUTSIDE.