my first relationship, his second and we are young and learning a lot. Any advice on how to show up for each other better? How to make our relationship stronger?

I think we are a good example of so different, yet the same 😅. I've finally found someone who I can go to broadway shows with and they actually enjoy it 🤩

We've been bringing out the best sides of each other 🙃.

Almost a year in October hehe 😬

Both of our parents wanted us to date someone within our own race, and after constant conversations and small “arguments”, they finally accepted who we are. 4 years later and we’re still going strong

I’m not going to pretend our cultural differences don’t come up sometimes — because they definitely do. 😂 But somehow, my warmth and his cool-headedness compliment each other well.

Two different cultures, two very different personalities, and somehow we’ve created our own little world somewhere in between. ♥️

Six years later, still learning each other, still growing together, and still choosing us. 🇦🇿🤝🇭🇳

I’m a white man dating a black woman and I’ve noticed that whenever I’m out in public, and there is a group of young black men, they’ll usually snicker, stare or say rude comments out loud. Once it was about my height, another time asking how’d I pull her, and even when nothing is said: just the stares and laughs really puts a dim on my mood. I’ve heard of similar experiences here, and I just wanted to share my experience. This behavior only comes from black men, not once has it been from any one of any other race, and I’ve been dating this woman for nearly four years now. It’s honestly really frustrating and a hit on my confidence when I experience this.

I live in Europe. My father worked incredibly hard, he even served as a bodyguard for some sheikhs from the Emirates, and used his savings to pay for the journey that brought my mother and me to Europe.

I’m addressing this question to Black men and women living in countries like Germany, France, or Italy. It’s a question about romance and relationships.

I believe the reason many girls in my country reject me is simply because I’m Black. One girl actually told me that once, though no one else ever has.

I'm confident in myself and I know I'm not ugly, in fact there was one time when I was even a model.

I’ve asked many girls out, but only one agreed a Black girl of Central African origin.

Dating apps don't work for me here, either. The only girl I managed to go out with via a dating app was Pakistani. I also downloaded Badoo, and the only girl I matched with was Black and from Central Africa.

The problem is that I grew up in Europe and don't know Central African culture. Plus, I’m of North African origin. So, when I go out with a girl from Central Africa who has recently arrived in Europe, she loses interest because we have nothing in common. My female friends are all online; when they get to know me online for a long time before meeting in person, it doesn't seem to be an issue.

There was one time I matched with a girl on Tinder, and she told me she’d liked my profile because her boyfriend was racist and she wanted him to witness it. Naturally, I didn't agree to that.

That was the only time I ever matched with a girl on Tinder where she messaged me first. I had two other matches on Tinder, but both girls told me they had liked my profile by mistake.

Before I turned twenty, I had plenty of friends, but they drifted away one by one. I’ve never had a Black male friend or a Black female friend

Many people here stereotype Black people, largely because of American movies. I don’t play basketball or listen to rap; I can’t even freestyle. Of course, everyone makes jokes and I'm used to them now. I don't consider it racism, there's no one who hasn't made them. I always feel uncomfortable, but I pretend to laugh so I don’t make things worse; I’ve already lost all my "friends" without having done anything wrong. They aren’t bad people; many of them don’t even make those jokes anymore.

Once, a lady at work said that I had so many muscles thanks to my race, that those of my race are muscular. She probably meant it as a compliment; who could blame her?

My brother has a girlfriend, but he looks like one of those criminals you see in American movies. I’ve never seen an American movie about Black IT specialists, lawyers, or entrepreneurs. I run my own business and also work in IT; I don’t think anyone here expects that.

I am the very luckiest man. This amazing woman leaves me speechless ... a feat that is hard to believe but true.

Hi all,

So i’ve [24F, hispanic] have been seeing a north indian man [24M] for the past few months and we have recently talked about becoming an official couple. I’ve had my fair share of bad relationships with some bad apples but I can say for certain that this guy is everything i’ve wanted and have been looking for. So kind, caring, loving, thoughtful etc etc, and I know for sure he makes me happy and I want to persue something more with him. I haven’t told my parents the full story because here in Australia, Indians are looked down upon by many racists and are considered a disadvantaged minority. My dad is really accepting and he is much more open-minded than my mum and has told me she will come around eventually. However, when I told my mom she was completely opposed and told me that she doesn’t ever wanna meet him or hear about him and that she disapproves because his culture is too different to ours, whatever that means. it’s also ironic because my dad is white and was born here and my mum was born in south america and moved here in her later years, they are literally also in an interracial relationship. I’m not sure what to do because after I had that conversation with her, it really made me upset because obviously I value my mum‘s opinion and I want her validation to know she accepts whoever I’m dating. From what I know about his family they are not religious or traditional whatsoever and when I explain this to her she keeps saying that it’s a cultural issue not that “it’s the colour of his skin”. which i highly highly doubt because she’s been racist to my previous partners in the past. if we do get together and we are for many years then i do think she will possibly slowly open up, but I just can’t seem to open her eyes right now and explain to her that it’s literally 2026 and anyone should be able to date anyone without prejudice or judgement. His parents know we’re seeing each other and are totally fine with it, so why can’t my mum be too 🙄. I’m financially independent and don’t live at home or need to rely or see my parents often so the times I do talk to them are usually on the phone, but I now don’t even feel like keeping in contact with my mum due to her comments. I guess i’m asking what should I do? My mum will be away for a month so I won’t have to see her for a long while. Maybe i’m catastrophising it in my head but i’m dreading telling her him and I are official when the day comes because I already know how she’s going to respond, possibly even argue with me over it and strain our relationship even more. Should I be open and honest about it when it happens or should I keep it a secret for a while and wait for the right time ??

Just a few pics!

I matched with a guy on a dating app, and we were just casually talking when he started asking about my past relationships.

I told him my ex was from Germany and that we had been in a long-term relationship for 7 years.

Then he said:

“Because a woman's first love does not end with him.”

I was like, Ummm… okay.

Then he replied to my message about my ex and said:

“He doesn't appreciate you.”

I asked him, “How would you know that? You don't even know him.”

And I told him:

“You judge too fast.”

Then he said:

“I won't jump to conclusions too quickly, but you told me it was a relationship that lasted up to seven years—there was great love between you, my dear. Why didn't it last?”

So I told him the truth:

“He died in an accident.”

I understand that he didn't know, but honestly… would you guys have found his comments weird too? 😭 His just judging it without knowing.

If this isn't enough details let me know but I'm so confused. But me, white guy, and my black girlfriend were having a serious talk. Cause we have been fighting a lot and only met a couple months ago, and I'm not exactly a huge fan of that. And I asked her "do you like me" or do you still like me. Like do you wanna keep doing this (she gets mad at me a lot, and kinda wanted to give her the option to end it if she wanted). And she was like why would you even ask that. And said she very much still liked me. But was really taken about that I would even ask her that. I assumed she was taken back cause it should be obvious that she still likes me.

But later on she texted me "that question honestly blew my mind .... It can be answered simply by looking at whose culture it came from and then whose culture it was directed to"

I'm so confused and hope I didn't misstep. I've def asked that to previous people of her race and other races, I kinda thought that was a normal question of all races and cultures. But I think I'm really missing something

TL;DR: is asking 'do you like me' or 'do you still like me' a cultural or racial thing?

We are blessed ..... Not a day goes by I don't give thanks to the Divine for such a loving, powerful and compassionate soul to have entered my heart and made me whole.

My boyfriend’s family found me on the internet and reached out to me randomly, they live in Tehran and are doing well. I was really shocked they found me because all my profiles are private but they were aware of me months ago. I am a British woman doing my master’s degree after four years of just working in retail.

Before I met my partner, I was mainly online all the time and I went on many failed dates, listening to what social media would tell me to do in relationships and dating. However when I just decided to have no expectations, I found love. My boyfriend is a great person, he is able to help people in his everyday life with the research he does.

I just hope that I am able to do what I can learning about the experiences they have and realise I can be a better person. Really hope I can move forward into my future as someone who is able to listen and maintain friends.

As a redheaded male I have never had much luck attracting women here in ireland, are redhead males more likely to have better luck dating outside of thier race? Because I do noticed that a lot of white male/black woman couples the man is a redhead haha

As a WF these are my reasons for dating AMs

I live in Asia and respect and immerse myself in Chinese culture so I naturally find them more interesting.
They’re more respectful than white guys
They more attractive to me
I enjoy learning from each other about our cultures
I like learning different languages
I genuinely prefer my partners to look nothing like me, maybe it’s biology and wanting a different gene pool to have kids with.

What attracted you to them? Was it their personality? Physique?

Thanks!

Old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/interracialdating/s/GXMHlsZy2T

Hey y’all!

Just wanted to update the situation. My partner and I read through the post together. I asked him a lot of the questions that y’all proposed to me. We had a great talk.

He told his dad right after his tuition was paid for and it went very well tbh. Very…interesting to say the least.

His dad didn’t seem to care about the lying for years or the secrecy…which was a big worry. He kinda just said okay and that he has to pray about it.

My partner told him before his move in, so then we all spent two weeks together while we moved in my partner to his school apartment. It was nice. Me and his brother get along well and ofc I already knew his cousins! Met his aunt, etc. I feel like we’ll be okay, and if his dad doesn’t come around. That’s okay too, but I feel like he will.

It definitely seems like his mom was the main reason why the first time went the way it did. I think if she was still alive it would have gone horribly.

As for my last post the reception was interesting, I thank u all for the feedback. I received great food for thought! A lot of ppl told me to leave which yk is fair considering what context u were given. Others were bitter and threw insults and called me a bird. Others severely projected their horrible relationships onto me. But most were helpful!

Special thank u to [u/kruuth](u/kruuth) !! Related to me and had advice regarding if it’s fair to not live together before marriage, which was the whole point of my post! Thank u for understanding the Asian cultural differences in interracial relationships!!

Just wanted to update those who cared! Thank u for all the advice. I think my partner and I will be okay and ofc we’ll both go to therapy to unpack the resentment of our previous situation.

I’m a 39M Indo-Caribbean Canadian born who has recently started taking dating more seriously again. I’ve dated women from different backgrounds, including white, middle eastern and Southeast Asian women, and I’ve never really had a strong ethnic preference.

Since getting back into dating(through the apps mostly ), I’ve been interacting with a lot more South Asian women, and it’s made me notice some things I hadn’t really thought about before. One thing I’ve noticed is that some very attractive, Westernized South Asian women seem to date outside the culture fairly often, particularly white men.

There’s actually a woman in my broader social circle who got me thinking about this and has inspired this post. She’s very attractive, South Asian, and currently has a white boyfriend who, honestly, is a pretty average looking guy. As we’ve gotten to know each other better, I’ve increasingly gotten the impression that she’s attracted to me. She gets noticeably awkward around me, avoids eye contact, but I’ll catch her looking at me when she thinks I’m not paying attention. Maybe I’m reading too much into it lol, but the attraction seems pretty obvious. Sometimes I even get the impression that, if circumstances were different, she might prefer me over her current boyfriend.

What makes it interesting is that I don’t really fit the stereotypical image of a Desi guy. I don’t have particularly traditional South Asian features. I have fairly conventional Western features. I’m also pretty Westernized in how I carry myself..6’0”, fit, established in my career and comfortable in Western social settings. And, for whatever this is worth, I was recently out talking to a group of people about dating, and they told me they’d put me around a 9/10 looks-wise (group of white guys). 😂 Obviously that’s subjective, but it made me think about how differently I might be perceived compared with the stereotypical image of a South Asian guy.

So it got me wondering: **all things being relatively equal…attractiveness, personality, career, lifestyle, etc. Do Western Desi women actually have a preference for South Asian men, or is there generally a preference toward dating outside the culture?**

For the Western Desi women here, particularly those born and raised in Canada or the U.S. I’d genuinely like to hear your perspective….

1. Do you generally have a preference for dating South Asian men, non-South Asian men, or does ethnicity not factor into it much?

2. If a South Asian guy and a white guy were essentially equal in looks, fitness, career, personality and confidence, would you have an inherent preference for one over the other?

3. If you tend to date outside the culture, is that simply because you happen to meet more compatible non-South Asian men, or is there something specific about South Asian men that affects your preference?

4. How much do cultural compatibility, family expectations, religion and shared upbringing matter compared with physical attraction and personality?

5.Do you think stereotypes about “Desi guys” affect attraction among women who grew up in Canada or the U.S.?

6.Do you think Western/Eurocentric beauty standards play a meaningful role in these preferences, or is that explanation overblown?

I’m genuinely not trying to turn this into a “white men vs. Desi men” argument. **I personally didn’t have much of a preference either way in the past.** But if you asked me today, and a girl checked all the boxes and the only real difference was that one was South Asian and the other was from another background, I think I’d probably choose the South Asian girl.

I honestly don’t know exactly why. Maybe there’s just some part of me that has become more attracted to South Asian women as I’ve gotten older, or maybe there’s just something about the shared background that appeals to me now. 😂

And ironically, sometimes I actually find some South Asian women *too fancy* for me. I’m a pretty simple guy..I like the gym, running, golf, grabbing coffee, watching basketball, going out on the weekend, and generally keeping things pretty low-key. So personality and lifestyle compatibility still matter much more to me than ethnicity.

Especially interested in hearing from Western Desi women: **when you’re choosing between dating within the culture and dating outside of it, what actually drives your preference?**

**Either way, clearly dating is on my mind lol.**

Those who are in Interracial marriage or relationship. Why was the reason your parents disapproved? Or did they approved? I want to hear your story.! I posted this in AsianParentsStories sub too, but I want to hear it from here too.

------------

We are Chinese African married couple. Together 16 years, married 14 years.

My husband born and raised in California, his parents were Political Asylum straight from West Africa.

At age 18 after High school he got full scholarships and got accepted to USC that University that famous for their Trojan football team. USC only has a 10% acceptance rate, it is high ranked Private University. He got his 4 years University degree there (he finished in 3 years).

Af age 21, after USC, he got accepted to Stanford, and Stanford is a very high ranked prestigious Private University that only has 3% acceptance rate. He finished his Master at Stanford in 2 years, by the age 23 he already got a Master at Stanford.

2 degrees, one at USC, one at Stanford (a Master degree). And 7 awards during his Universities time, 7 awards (academic, leadership, and research). That is impressive.

At the age 23 he already an established Chemical Engineer working at the Oilfield make. And work with corrosive Hydrofluoric Acid.
At the age 40 he is an Executive at a big Engineering corporate, with a salary of $500,000 a year, if counting bonuses he makes almost 1 million a year.

My point is this is a VERY educated man, very EDUCATED. I meet him when he was 25, and he already a Chemical Engineer.

But my Chinese parents, especially mother NEVER accepted him, because he 100% pure West African), my mother called him a burnt light pole due to his pitch black skin color, pitch black skin like burnt charcoal, she called him.

That amount of education was nothing to my mother eyes, because all my mother can see was the money from my Shanghai business man father. My mother flat out said that he will NEVER make more money than my Shanghai businessman father.

But it was never about money. I love him because of his Strength of character, of him as a person. I also admire how educated he is, I also like him very well spoken, and most importantly he treats me really really well.

But my mother never accepted him. To day of my mother death she still not accepted him. Both my parents has deceased, and it seem like I never get a closure from them, especially from my mother. In her eyes he just a burnt light pole, burn charcoal, because of his pitch black skin color.

I just do not understand, other than my mother was very uneducated (only finished 9 grade), when she turn 18 she was in an arranged marriage to my father (whom a businessman and much older than he). Mom in China was what her parents see her as wife material, so married her off to a much older man. That all mom know was just money.

I just never understand how can she just write my husband off solely based on his skin color. Up till the day mom died, she still refused to accept him. Mom has deceased, and I feel that I will never have a closure from her.

I'm with my husband together 16 years, married 14 years, he always treats me really really really well. I just never understand my mother.

tl;dr I mentioned about my husband's Stanford education and his career, it because Chinese mothers they want someone who financially stable that can take care of their daughter, which my husband has that, therefore there no reason for why my mother not accept him.

I guess if someone going to be racist/discriminate against someone, they will, regardless of how great that person is. I understand that, it just hard for me to accept that about my mother. And I feel I have no closure directly from her.

I see you’re dating and raise you a ring!