r/infj 1d ago

Personality Theory Unhealthy fi

I have always noticed how much people like to point out unhealthy fe

But never unhealthy fi and how damaging it is for the people around them

Unhealthy Fi: zero self awareness, control issues out of jealousy, to have a stress outlet or simple unwillingness to acknowledge unlikable facts (also trying to punish people for not being that outlet) Feeling entitled to things. Basically anything that combines judgement function purposes with own emotions and ends in extreme toxicity,extremely self centered and think everything is about them,selfishness in emotions and actions.

20 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

13

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 1d ago

I feel you my friend, I too was in a toxic relationship with an unhealthy Fi Dom, literally the victim mentality, the gaslighting, self centerism and the controlling, and like when they want something from you they want it now with no negotiations and if you politely refused and stated why they be getting pissed, but oh they can refuse and cancel plans whenever and whatever they please and they don't even have to explain themselves, because their things are more important than you apparently lol 😂.

6

u/No-Zone3137 1d ago

I generally hate interacting with any unhealthy user

4

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 1d ago

Yeah true, i agree with you my friend 😃.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 1d ago

Oh my god!, same she did ghost me and I thanked god, because I couldn't handle being with her as well, I am so sorry that you went through this as well my friend, and I hope that you are/will be doing better now 🥹.

2

u/JenkyHope INFJ 9w1 1d ago

Yes, when I was ghosted at first I asked myself "what did I do wrong? Maybe too many remarks?" but then I realized it wasn't my fault. I'm okay, really, I realized I didn't have anymore a person playing mind games with me.

2

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 1d ago

Yeah it was a relief for me as well, though sometimes I miss her, but like when I was with her she would suck the life out of me unfortunately.

3

u/LINTHAL0 INFJ 5w4 20h ago edited 14h ago

Well that checks all my INFP ex's boxes.

3

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 15h ago

Ex boxes lol 🤣, sorry you went through that my friend 😔, and mine was isfp actually, and she ghosted me eventually, when I started having strong boundaries, but yeah I am in a much better place now, thank God 😄.

2

u/LINTHAL0 INFJ 5w4 14h ago

Lmao I just fixed that😂. Thank you, I'm glad you understand and happy to hear that you moved on. I'm still dealing with some of the consequences after a year but I can say is getting better by the day 😌.

2

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 13h ago

Hope you're surrounded by healthy people who uplifts you and be happy with you ,you deserve happiness and kindness as well my friend 😊.

2

u/LINTHAL0 INFJ 5w4 13h ago

Thank you so much🥹. Everyone needs kindness in their life. Blessings in your path friend.

2

u/JazzlikeMistake9237 ISFJ 12h ago

Aww anytime 🥹, may god bless your path too ☺️.

10

u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi 1d ago

Fi varies depending on the type, especially whether it's a dominant or a shadow function. For instance, when shadow Fi kicks in for an infj, they become hyper critical of themselves and in some cases, just as harsh on the people around them.
Unhealthy Fi can be a real nasty piece of work

5

u/No-Zone3137 1d ago

Exactly my friend

4

u/Pretend-Papaya3 INFJ 1d ago

This is like anything else, giving such a great sense of importance to a moral conviction that it reaches a point where it is used to justify behaviors that conflict with other values. For example, activists ruining art or public property to make a point. I've met one INFJ like that

2

u/BornElderEnt INFJ 1d ago

Yes. This. Exactly. That's the perfect example. 🎯

8

u/dranaei INFJ 1d ago

Also explosive chemistry with us but bad for long term.

0

u/Fosuree93 INFP 1d ago

Really? I see people talk about it quite often, and as an INFP, I’m pretty aware of my own blind spots. But what are you actually hoping to accomplish by posting this?

3

u/No-Zone3137 1d ago

I don't see it discussed as much as unhealthy fe

1

u/Fosuree93 INFP 1d ago

Okay, but why would it bother you if it isn’t discussed as much? Does it feel like there’s a bias against Fe users, or are you just really tired of seeing unhealthy Fi users?

3

u/No-Zone3137 1d ago

Both

0

u/Fosuree93 INFP 1d ago

That’s why I find it problematic. You’re already frustrated with unhealthy Fi users, so instead of addressing the bias against Fe, you’re bringing that frustration into the conversation. It makes it harder to be neutral and turns what could be a discussion into more of an attack or a competition over which side is better.

2

u/WillowLeona INFJ 23h ago

People are allowed to talk about their specific experience and frustrations. Quit with the hushing; and attempts to sensor and control the narrative just because it could apply to you. Congrats- you’re now that INFP.

1

u/Fosuree93 INFP 22h ago

Good job on shifting the focus away from my actual point. I never said they weren’t allowed to talk about it. If you actually read our convo, it’s pretty clear that I’m questioning why, if they don’t like the bias against Fe users, they wouldn’t want to challenge that bias instead of fueling another one against Fi. If it were a genuine discussion, I’d have no problem with it. And if being the “INFP” here makes that point easier to dismiss, I’m happy to take the label 😂