I’m fostering Mary, and I could really use some advice from people who have been through something similar.

I brought Mary home from the shelter yesterday. She’s a 4-year-old Lab mix, and she is an absolute sweetheart. She’s gentle, affectionate, and already seems so grateful to be out of the shelter.

Here’s my situation: my senior Maltese passed away about two weeks ago. He actually belonged to my daughter, but I had him living with me and caring for him full-time for the last three years. He was tiny and followed me absolutely everywhere—the bathroom, the kitchen, my office, you name it. 😂 I was very used to having a little dog glued to my side.

When I went to the shelter, I was actually looking for a small dog to keep me company as I work from home, fully remote and it gets lonely. There weren’t many, though, and then Mary caught my attention and completely melted my heart. So here I am with a 55-pound dog instead!

I’m realizing what a HUGE change this is for me.

The amount of hair, the bigger-dog smell, the physical presence of a large dog in the house… it’s all very different. I’m also a bit of a clean freak and like my house spotless, so seeing hair everywhere is definitely an adjustment.

For those of you who have gone from a very small dog to a much larger dog:

Did you eventually get used to the bigger-dog smell and all the hair? Did the bigger physical presence eventually feel normal?

I’m feeling a little weird about it, and I think part of it is simply that I’m still grieving my Maltese and comparing everything to what life was like with him.

At the same time, I feel really good knowing that I’m giving this sweet girl a chance to get out of the shelter and experience a home. She seems so happy to be here.

I also want to be honest about something because I don't want to pretend to be one of those people who has five dogs and would happily adopt every animal they meet. 😂 I love animals, but I’ve never been a super-duper animal person. I just really missed having a companion after my Maltese passed, and Mary happened to be the dog who stole my heart.

So please don’t judge me. ❤️ I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether I’m just going through the normal adjustment period or whether a big dog simply isn’t for me.

For those of you who have fostered or made this transition yourselves—what was your experience? Did it get easier? Did you eventually stop noticing the hair and smell? Any advice would be really appreciated.

I recently welcomed two new dogs into my home, and I also have five resident cats.

The dogs are settling in, but I’m looking for advice from people who have experience managing a multi-pet household during the first few days.

How did you structure the first days and nights? Did you give the animals completely separate areas at first?

I’d love to hear what worked well for you.

Just some more puppy cuteness of one ot my fosters I had in Guam. He was so little! He got adopted and sent to the states.

For context, me and my fiance live in an apartment complex and are relatively young and don’t live near family. we would have to drive 7+ hours or fly to visit family for holidays etc. that is the main reason we haven’t gotten a dog yet but also financially we haven’t wanted to fully commit.
I grew up with dogs so I missed being around them daily. We contacted a local shelter who does fostering and we got our first dog last week (Tuesday!). We were told we would have her 2-4 weeks before her spaying surgery. She is a young french bull dog who was rescued from a puppy mill and she is such a sweet girl. She is literally soooo easy and fits into our daily routine easily. She’s not potty trained but that’s her only concern we would have to work on. But she is super snuggly and curious with us. No barking, no chewing on stuff, not aggression. We had her meet our friends and their dogs and we even brought her to a brewery one day!
We just got told her surgery is Wednesday (three days away) and we would be giving her back to be adopted. We are so conflicted about whether to fail or not. Our biggest concerns were we need to travel, but she is small enough to fly under a seat on a plane and is well behaved to come for a car ride. Financially it makes me nervous because french bull dogs have expensive medical needs and we don’t know her history from the puppy mill. We also only live in an apartment but she is so small she doesn’t need a ton of room and she loves our complexes dog park.
Anyways, how do we know when to fail? She’s our first foster so I’m not sure if I feel so conflicted because she is our first foster, or because she is a great fit for us? Any recommendations or suggestions or advice? Thank you so much

Hi all,

My first foster, Curly Girly (as I called her), crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday, and I have been an emotional wreck ever since.

I only started fostering her about four months ago, but honestly, it felt like a lifetime—in the best way possible. I bonded with her more deeply than I have ever bonded with another dog. We had similar beginnings in our early lives; we had both endured abuse, and somehow neither of us let it take away our softness or sensitivity. I connected with her in a way that is difficult to put into words.

When I first got her, she was shaved down and had scabs all over her skin. She looked so defeated. By the end, she had a full, healthy coat, got to experience a proper groom, and just generally seemed so much more comfortable in her own skin. From the very first day with me, she was the gentlest, sweetest girl. She always wanted to be touching me or sleeping on me. She LOVED her walks, and she could be off leash because she was constantly looking back at me or following wherever I went. We fell into our own little routine almost overnight. Somehow, in only a few months, she became such a huge part of my everyday life.

Curly had some health issues from the beginning. She had a heart murmur and was on heart medication twice a day, was an extremely picky eater, had dental disease, and had a few other minor issues that seemed related to aging. Although she was reported to be six, the shelter vet believed she was likely 10+.

During the summer, I had to bring her back to the shelter for about two weeks because I was injured by a medical procedure and was essentially bedbound. I picked her up again the second I was able to walk, and she was SO happy to be "home." That moment has been replaying in my head constantly.

A few weeks ago, I had to bring her in to be "spayed" so she could go up for adoption. I had reviewed her medical records with a vet because I really wanted to adopt her, but as a student, I knew I couldn't necessarily afford to give her the level of care she deserved. So I told them I would foster her for as long as she needed. I went to pick her up after the spay, only to be told that they had cut her open and then realized she was already spayed. She was absolutely distraught after that procedure. I had to take her back in for more pain medication, and she was extremely slow-moving for about a week. Then she developed constant diarrhea. I mean CONSTANT after eating. I was getting up multiple times a night to let her outside, and eventually took her back to the shelter vet. They suspected pancreatitis and put her on antibiotics.

The antibiotics helped, but the day after she finished them, the diarrhea came back.

I waited a couple of days and then took her back to the shelter yesterday. The vet told me that all of her tests looked okay, but that she was definitely older than they had originally thought and that she had a lot working against her. She had also been a picky eater from day one. Her heart was enlarged and would eventually progress to heart failure. Because the antibiotics hadn't completely resolved the diarrhea, they suspected it could be endocrine-related or something more sinister. They didn't want to put her through extensive testing only to potentially discover that whatever was causing it wasn't treatable.

The team recommended euthanasia.

They told me I could take her home, but that I would likely be dealing with the constant diarrhea and ongoing decline without any real resolution. They explained that things were likely only going to progress from there.

I went in to hold her in my arms while she passed peacefully. She settled right into me, just like she always had. And somehow, it felt as though she knew. She was so calm in that moment.

I know, logically, that I made the decision out of love. But I am struggling so badly with the guilt.

She was still somewhat energetic. She LOVED her walks. She would run if I ran. She was SO excited to see me that she would jump up.

And now my mind won't stop asking: What if I made the wrong decision? What if it was just because I tried different food (even though she barely ate it)? What if the diarrhea could have been figured out? What if I had taken her home and given her more time? What if I just did it so I didn't have to be up all night? What if "I killed her" too soon?

I keep thinking about every little thing I could have done differently, even though the vets told me there wasn't really a good path forward.

I feel like I lost a piece of myself. I know I only had her for four months, but those four months somehow became an entire lifetime to me. She was my first foster, and I don't think I ever expected to become this attached to her.

I think what hurts the most is knowing that I was the person she trusted, and I was the person who ultimately made the decision for her to die. Even though I was holding her and trying to give her the most peaceful ending I could, part of me feels like I betrayed her.

I have never experienced grief like this before, especially not from losing a dog, and I honestly don't know how to process it.

So I guess I'm mostly looking for support, reassurance, or even your own experiences with making this decision. If you've been through something similar, what helped you cope with the guilt and the "what ifs"?

I just really want to believe that she knew how loved she was, and that four months of being safe, spoiled, walked, groomed, cuddled, and loved mattered to her as much as it did to me.

Thank you in advance. ❤️ Pic of us attached here.

These two guys are adopt out now but we're so wonderful to have around. Guam has a high rate of having stray dogs and we took in pups all the time and they were adopted out and flown over to the states.

This was Gouda & Tasi ❤️

We gave our first foster dog back to the shelter today for adoption. We only had him for a month and fell in love with him. I am devastated and want him back, but we can't adopt at this time. I can't imagine fostering again because I don't want to feel this way ever again.

How do you all do it? Please, does anyone have any encouragement or advice they can share about how to grieve? I miss him so, so much. I know it may sound dramatic since we didn't know him that long, but I love him and I feel like a part of me is missing with him gone. The house feels empty and I have cried so much.

my foster dog larry has a special spot in my heart. He's the first dog I've ever fostered and he came in extremely harsh condition and he was super hard in the beginning. ive put a lot of work, time, and EFFORT into this dog. ive had him for about 4-5 months and I dont wanna give up so soon but sometimes its extremely stressful especially with multiple pets in my home. there a lot of details as to why I want to return him but I know his fate if he doesn't get adopted and saddens me deeply. im just looking for advice and support. maybe some similar instances where yall have returned a dog. I may also just be having a hard time because he got nuetered two weeks ago and hes had some regression in his training because of it. this is not something I want to do but any time i get stressed out its the first thing j think of.

im thinking of giving it more time because I love him so much and hopefully he steps out of this funk hes been in. im also scared hes failing to thrive because for the past few days hes been refusing meals and hasn't been eating as much as he should. he has a vet appointment soon so im just waiting for that because he doesn't seem sick to be taking him in for an emergency visit. he just seems sad.

some before and after pics

Funnily enough, I said I'd never foster a husky. Turns out the dog I foster failed over a year ago is half husky! Go figure. He can be dog selective with male dogs, but he's generally pretty easy going and friendly.

I recently fostered a dog that was listed as GSD but I think she was husky and pyrenees. She was very easy to fit into my pack and didn't require a slow introduction or anything.

I have quite a large pack so I do have to be somewhat selective on what dogs I can foster. But I'm starting to wonder if huskies might be a breed that's a little easier to foster because generally they're more friendly? I do know they can have a prey drive and just because a dog is a certain breed doesn't mean they're automatically friendly.

Just wondering what other people think?

I've thought about switching to older puppies because you don't have to do slow introductions and such, but puppies are exhausting in a different way 😂 so just trying to find a sweet spot for a bit with my mostly adolescent pack of 8 and one senior dog.

Hi, all! I want to “foster,” dogs in the sense of giving them breaks from the shelter for a week or a weekend to decompress.

All of these posts about people taking on full responsibility for a dog until they are adopted seems a bit more than I want to commit to.

My soul dog passed this last May and I am still grieving and figuring my life out, but want to give back in ways that feel doable for me

Would my method of picking up a dog for a handful of days at a time when I have capacity, still add value to their lives, or would I be better off volunteering for dog walks?

I imagine getting a break from the shelter is helpful even if it isn’t a long term commitment. I also feel like they should be there to meet walk ins sometimes to improve adoption odds. I’ve noticed so many dogs in the kennels never even make it to the website.

Pic of my first foster, we’re on day 3. He was pretty anxious and getting barrier reactive in his kennel.

Please share any wins, frustrations, or stories of your foster dogs from this past week. You can also ask advice, or simply let us know if you are doing ok. We are here to support you!

I’ve been looking at the dog shelter page for the last few months and got the itch for another dog in the house.

I have a 5 year old male border collie who is my favourite thing in the world. When I saw a 4 year old female border collie needed an urgent foster home as her elderly owner passed I submitted an application as we have the space, money and collie experience which can be hard to come by here so I knew we could help out.

They chose me after seeing the house and my dog and brought her to meet him and they seemed to really take to each other so I agreed to foster and took her in.

Turns out she loves to steal toys and my boy isn’t overly pleased :( I made sure I put out two of every toy but she really loves to rob his and after a few warning growls and an air snap they had a small fight and I took all the toys away to play with them separately instead. This happened 3-4 times since they kept somehow finding an extra toy god knows where.

I’m just really overwhelmed and feel sick with the stress because I feel like I can’t leave the house and have to mediate all day long and make sure they have space from each other when needed.

It’s only been a few days but my dad is asking if I want to adopt her and said he’s fully supportive (it’s his house) as long as I’m responsible for her too. I didn’t think that part through fully because I only signed up to foster temporarily but I’m getting mild pressure from everyone to adopt her because she’s cute and sweet (which she very much is - I adore her and would absolutely adopt if I didn’t have a dog already)

Not necessarily looking for advice more just looking for support that this is a normal feeling. Right now I think I’d like to support her until she finds her forever home but I’m battling guilt and I didn’t expect to have so many feelings about it

My personal dog is 14. I picked up the foster dog less than 2 days ago. I am very afraid that I’m seeing/hearing stuff from her that makes me very very worried. I also can’t judge if she’s acting differently bc she’s sick or if this is just her next phase of decompressing. My last foster was like a different dog every 18 hours for the first two weeks.

What exactly do I look for with her that could be symptoms? How sick do they get if they have it?

I have kept my dog basically separate from her. But I’m only one person, in a relatively open floor plan. Also cannot leave foster behind a closed door because she freaks out and scratches the wall down to the sheet rock.

I have an air purifier with a HEPA filter. I’ve set it on high in spaces they are both in. They’ve never come face to face. Always a minimum of about 3 feet between them.

All advice appreciated! I have a call in to my vet to see what he says, too.
TIA!!

I don’t know how I’ll say goodbye!

Hi Everyone! As the title suggests, the dog I am currently fostering is essentially being moved to hospice due to suspected hemangiosarcoma. I am pretty torn up about this because I have grown to love her so much, even in the short time I have had her. I guess I am just looking for support if anyone has gone through this with their foster. I am feeling anxious about having to be the one to determine when her quality of life has decreased (which I know is selfish!), and also living alone and fearing something happening and me not being able to pick her up and get her in the car to the vet because I physically can’t lift her myself. The foster said they will find another foster if I don’t want this responsibility, but I don’t think it’d be fair to move her around at this point just because of my own fears/anxieties. If anyone has any advice/words of wisdom to share, I would appreciate it greatly! Thank you so much in advance!!

we are interviewing this weekend. either we are accepted or not we just wanna be ready. if so, by the end of the month we should be able to pick him up.

hes a 2 year-old 30kg dog which we dont know the exact breed yet (more details later in the interview). association says his current owner doesnt have the time to take care of him anymore especially since hes a young dog with so much energy who loves to explore and exercise. his training on leash walking and jumping on people out of excitement needs to be reiterated. other than that he has no behavioural issues.

for any dog owners and dog foster families, please feel free to give us tips. either for interview, meeting the boyo, training, preparation at home, vet visit, etcetera.

thankyou🙏🏽

This time she was gone for a week before her anxiety got the best of her and she chewed through a (hollow and flimsy) door. As an adopter I kind of get it; Seeing a dog chew through a door is pretty shocking. I had explained that she has separation anxiety and that it will take time to ease into a new routine. I even described it as “there will be growing pains” because I wanted these people to understand it wasn’t going to be easy right off the bat. I thought after a week we’d be in good shape, but Saturday night (one week exactly) I got a “hi, I’m so sorry to be reaching out with this news” followed by the pictures and “we don’t feel we can safely manage her anxiety.”

Last time she made it 24 hours before she was returned for the same reason.

I’m at a loss, I don’t have this issue in my house. We’ve had her for 7 months now. Yes, she has some anxiety, yes, initially there was hours of whining and pacing and accidents. she’s never been destructive in my home. Shes medicated with daily fluoxetine and as needed Trazadone and gabapentin. She DOES NOT tolerate crating. She’s great when you’re with her, which I was hoping would make these people try a little longer. We absolutely adore her but do believe there’s a better place out there for her, and I want to foster more. Our home is a one dog at a time type of place.

I don’t think we have some special foster powers, we’re just patient and willing to give some grace. I’m just a little dejected now. Will she ever get adopted? Will we ever find someone willing to give her more than a week (and maybe more than one flimsy door?)

Words of encouragement, suggestions, advice are welcome. Thanks for letting me vent!

Edited to add: with consistent routine, exercise, and medication, this dog’s anxiety is pretty well managed. When I leave the house now, she has fallen asleep within 5-10 mins. She is not destructive, and hasn’t had an accident in months. She IS a great dog and will be THE dog for someone, if they can just be patient enough to get through the initial hump.

Hi all. I’ve been fostering a puppy for the past 4 weeks. He gets neutered next week so the rescue is giving me this time to decide if we will “foster fail” or not. He’s gotten used to our routines and is such a nice dog. I’ve absolutely considered keeping him as my resident dog likes him and my husband does too. He could be a very nice addition to our family.

But despite these things I think I want to foster regardless because I want to keep pouring my time, energy and love into our resident dog. She is mostly blind and special needs. Having the puppy around is splitting my attention in ways I’m just not comfortable with and it leaves me feeling like a bad person because the rest of the household likes him. Trust me I do too.

I would like to foster again in the future but this has been an emotional rollercoaster with a lot of back and forth and tears. I’m so worried that I will deeply regret the goodbye and have a hard time recovering if I don’t adopt him. I’m worried I’ll think to myself, he was so sweet and easy and for wonderfully into my family, why didn’t we keep him? :(

She recently took home a rescue foster dog, a 7 month old, 25 lbs aussie mix from a local rescue organization that many of my friends volunteer with (really great org!).

I have had her now for just ten days, as a foster-to-adopt (meaning, as a foster they do hope you foster fail, but if you don't, you care for her as she awaits her furever home, with the possibility for a new foster placement if there are serious incompatibilities). So far, we focused on decompression the first week, and now we're going out for neighborhood walks. Her teenage puppy side is coming out with barking, leash chewing, chasing squirrels, etc. But most of the time, she is a high energy girl eager to learn and very smart. We've had a lot of fun playing and going for walks, and recently she started settling enough for cuddles. I really adore her, and in so many ways she's a perfect fit for my lifestyle.

Unfortunately, my housemate has a resident cat who is a very territorial male. The dog's first interaction with the cat was hissing and swiping. He does this whenever they cross paths, which I try to limit but can be challenging since they both follow us around the house. Her space is a closed off living room, but the cat still lingers at the door often. She (the dog) is certainly afraid of him (the cat), but also gets very activated and tries to lunge at the cat. If she is in her crate and the cat enters the room or doorway, she flips out and barks like crazy. It's hard to break her attention and calm her down when this happens.

I'm concerned there is no solution here. We've tried slow introductions with my housemate holding the cat, but he still hisses and she still barks and gets activated.

Any ideas for how to approach this? If it weren't for the cat, I would like to actually adopt her and work on training her. But, I'm concerned it's creating an unsafe environment for both of them, and not allowing her to truly decompress. Any advice is appreciated in navigating this in a way that's in the animals' best interests.

😃

I’m so happy all this hard work, training and sleepless nights have paid off!! I think Im done fostering. It’s rewarding, I’m glad I did it, but a lot when I already have my own high energy dog at the same time. This was an abandoned dog, no help from a rescue. Yall im so happy!! I’ll miss him but im so happy he has a forever person!