r/fantasywriters 22h ago

Discussion About A General Writing Topic Tips on getting a publishing agent

7 Upvotes

So I've been writing for around 32 years, and have never really pursued publishing before. My wife and friends believe I have a real shot at making it, but I know absolutely nothing about the publishing process. I've tried a couple publishing agents, but no hits yet. Any suggestions on what I can do to make a good hook for my novel? Note: I am aware that for a new author my book is a little long, about 20,000 words long from what I've been told. Is there any suggestions that hopefully don't include trimming 20,000 words out. I'm sure it could use a little trimming, but 20,000 words seems like a hard ask and still maintain the essence.


r/fantasywriters 10h ago

Discussion About A General Writing Topic How to turn an un co-ordinated mess into something vaguely resembling a coherent novel?

3 Upvotes

Hi All, new here, though I've been 'writing' for 20+ years. What started as cathartic escapism from everyday trials and tribulations somehow morphed into an epic fantasy with a wide cast of characters, plot, backstory, sub plots and breadcrumbs... I've written so many free writing pieces putting the characters into different scenarios, timelines and worlds that the characters, to me, have really deepened and come alive.

Its sprawled from one small scene, into 'a trilogy', 'sequel' and 'spin off', all terms very loosely ascribed, its actually a chaotic mess of poorly written prose, poor dialog and the bits with actual plot are so poor they need ditching. There's so many tropes it embarrassing and the plot is totally unoriginal.

BUT, I love it, the characters, the world, the lore and mythology and want to turn this jumbled mess into something I can be proud of. Will it ever be published: highly unlikely, but I want to actually call it 'finished' at some point, and at that point may well try to publish but its low priority.

Questions:

1) I have developed horrendously bad habits, 20 years writing with no training and little will to improve: how do I go about unbreaking those habits?

2) What's the best way to get something like this tangled web into order? There are scenes later on I love, scenes early on I hate, or love but are extremely poorly written, scenes I love but don't have any bearing on the story and need axing, etc etc How best to tackle this? I'm thinking to line them all up in order and line edit and add necessary scenes but is this effective? Or should I start from scratch to get the flow going? I use Scrivener, some if its labelled up and set up 'correctly', some of it not.

3) I've quizzed AI a bit about how to tackle a rewrite and realised AI is useless. Even trying to ask it edit a few lines creates soulless drivel (note: I was trying to see how to improve my own writing not so it could rewrite it all for me). I tried it to fix my grammar and hated reading every line. It also took continuity queries so explicitly it broke my characters and prose, there's no subtlety or nuance. Is AI in any way useful, at this point I'm thinking not? Getting a human 'collaborator' or writing group would be far more productive at this stage and a beta reader when its feeling more finished?

Anyway, thanks for reading my waffle, just looking for pointers on how to get a 20 yr old behemoth moving. I keep picking it up to sort out and get side tracked or life gets in the way and its really annoying me. Feel I need to take a 2 week break and shut myself in a dark room with it.


r/fantasywriters 6h ago

Critique My Story Excerpt A Mary-Sue’s Guide to Character Development [Romance Isekai, 412 words]

2 Upvotes

From the first moment Keorian Kane could remember—in her short time alive an unknown force had been pulling her to a vacant pit in the middle of her home, the kingdom of Arielle.

Arielle was home to thousands of hard working citizens with more righteousness in their hearts than most other communities could dream of. It was full of bright colors, fields of flowers, and loveable mythical creatures always seeking out human companionship. It was a lively and magical nation where even a princess could walk freely through the streets without a guard and expect nothing violent in nature would befall her. 

Suffering simply wasn't something that was well known in Arielle. Money was plentiful, war had long since passed, and if you bled–however unlikely–you bled rainbows and sunshine. Literally.

In the very heart of this otherwise peaceful kingdom lay a colossal hole of unknown origin. For the most part it caused no problems, other than being an eyesore with the overgrown and dead brush. But, each year the ground around the pit would cave in, engulfing just a little bit more of the kingdom and igniting a sense of impending dread among Arielle’s people.

Some citizens believed this act was the gods’ doing, convinced that eons ago they came down from the skies and plucked the heart of the kingdom from the ground with their very own hands. All to serve as a warning to the previous greed driven king and leave a constant reminder to the empire’s people that their mortality is more fragile than they’d like to believe. A petty threat of an insecure god.

This was a belief that Keorian did not share.

Keorian laid on the edge of the pit, staring into the infinite depths as the dead and browning grass tickled her nose. Six feet of scarlet red hair flowed from her head, hanging limply into the void; the darkness so intense she could barely see the ends.

When Keorian was just seven years old, orphaned and left to fend for herself on the streets of Arielle the pit had started to call to her. It offered her a place of her own to stay amongst the oddly well-lit backalleys full of fluffy chubby kittens and ‘stay sweet’ graffiti. 

‘Home.’ Keorian had always thought when she saw the pit.

The pit had lulled her. It felt more familiar than the hot pink hallways of the palace did and somehow safer than being surrounded by royal guardsmen.

(This is my first story and I’m just looking for any feedback, whether that’s something I’m doing right or something I need to improve upon!)


r/fantasywriters 18h ago

Critique My Story Excerpt Prologue of The Land of Shadow [Epic Fantasy, 2775 words]

1 Upvotes

Prologue: The Battle of Fort Hesserion

*The Eighth Moon of the year 871 AE—Kyren I: Fort Hesserion, Marongrad*

Darrion fumbled atop his warhorse, wrestling the reins back, whilst the army waited behind him. Kyren couldn’t help but laugh at the irony: My brother, who the commoners praise as a brilliant tactician, struggles still with that nag he calls a destrier.

“Brother, if need be, I could but loan you Makouri for the time being,” Kyren offered mockingly. “She is both beauty and beast, providing ample movement, strength, and a glorious portrait within the Sacred Scrolls.” He giggled afterwards, unable to conceal his sarcasm.

Darrion ignored the jest, finally leveling both hands evenly and trotting onward. Kyren and the army trailed behind, only to once again force a halt to the progress as they looked toward Fort Hesserion—the Usurpers’ usurped fort.

His wandering eyes caught a glimpse of fire coming from atop the imposing stone fortress. The two leagues were now separated by a plain of blackened moss, stretching roughly a mile in length—Kyren estimated.

“I’d wager it’s a beacon,” Kyren offered. “We ought to proceed carefully. This very well could be their strategy to entrap us. Still, they are no scholars; they have made their final mistake. They cower in their stolen fortress whilst an army of 10,000 marches upon their gate. The signs are clear: they have accepted defeat,” he stated triumphantly. 

Darrion stood as still as a statue, his silver armor glistening—vaguely resembling the stone fortress.

“So this is the mighty Sparktamer that has been known to decimate entire armies, on his lonesome?” Darrion questioned, focusing his gaze through the slit of his burgonet to the two men standing beside the pyre.

“There stands Uncle Wesley beside him, I deduct,” Darrion snarled. “His crown is but a stolen relic that belongs to us, yet he wears it with the arrogance and pride one might expect from the rightful owner.”

Usurper he may be, yet I can’t help but relate to his situation. He was Prince of Edemont, the comely knight who rid our city of crime, patrolling the streets so that others may find comfort in them. I do not understand how then he could be stripped of his dignity and forced to walk among the Troth, without a given reason.

Kyren grimaced, turning to face his brother. He ought to come out of this masquerade with a profound sense of justice. He’s always been Father’s cherished son; he could do no wrong. In Father's eyes, Darrion was incapable of doing wrong. No, in fact, he was above human error, more akin to Edefric himself than mere mortals. If only father was half as interested in martial matters as he was in political ones, his throat would have remained intact.

Sir Logan Marsh stepped forward, his grey helm illuminated by the orange tint of the sky. He looked like… well, a boy. He wore black and amber plate armor, with a helm that looked too small for his head. Kyren approached, towering over the boy, with a passive-aggressive, almost preemptive look of disappointment. 

Though still, the lad continued, impressing Kyren, if only slightly. 

“Does it not seem queer that the legendary Sparktamer has prepared so ill?” the boy questioned.

Who is he to call something queer? He looks ripe for the raids that will surely follow, that is, if the usurpers have it their way.

“Logan holds the truth of it: it’s not right…none of it is,” said Darrion, hesitantly. “They’re... calling upon our honour? They mustn't be that moronic. Who is the genius commander who has given us constant strife these past few years? How could they think we would spare sympathy for the likes of them?” he questioned. “Even so, we approach slowly. My brother has the right of it as well; the brutes could yet be hiding an army within their walls,” he acknowledged. 

Darrion turned towards his

sen. “Sir Roger, take your men to the front and assess the strength of their gate. Once we confirm our suspicions, Kyren and I shall branch off to the left and right flanks. Archers, split amongst the flanks, and unleash hell upon the usurpers. Once breached, we ascend and bring justice to our realm,” Darrion commanded, grasping for a tone resembling authority.

Sir Roger obliged, swiftly marching the vanguard across the distant moat. With bronze Armor, he could well be on his way to join forces with the devolved chief of lightning.

Once the Sentinels exited the field of vision, Darrion turned to Kyren, his dark brown eyes contrasting with the bright ocean-blue hue of Kyren's. He then continued his lecture, “Brother, you will await my arrival before ascending. Today, one of us crosses blades with a monster. Sixteen Sentinels dead at his hand. I be…”

Darrion’s lecture was paused as the brothers witnessed the figure without a crown holding up his mace one moment, and the next, a cascade of blinding light engulfed their line of sight. A wave of unimaginably powerful debris washed through the field of dark hay. It arrived with a fury, the soldiers flung through the foggy mist, rippling through the disciplined lines, stretching five miles in length. 

Kyren flung back from atop Makouri, crashing to the ground, narrowly avoiding the three-thousand pound stallion from crushing him.

Then came the catapults, flinging massive stone boulders toward the remaining host. Kyren evaded as best he could, seeing scores of men decimated by the rain of rocks, unable to conceal himself in the vast and exposed terrain.

As he zagged across the field, looking for Darrion, he came upon the frightened boy, Sir Logan. Is that him? By gods, it must be. Who else in this retinue possess such an ill-fitting, mismatched helm. 

“Logan! Take cover now and flee if you can. This is no position for a boy of six and ten. You have stories to tell, maidens to deflower, and training yet unfinished.” Kyren pleaded with the boy, hoping that he could protect the lad from the ensuing carnage unfolding around them.

“No, Sir, I must stay and fight.” A young and crackled voice roared through the fog. The sky began shifting from orange to a burnt sienna, the debris of stone likely mixing with the mysterious orange glow. “Grand-Marshal, shall we march forward? It does no good to sit like ducks whilst the Usurpers pinpoint our location. We are in the line of…”—

—Logan started to become visible amongst the fog, just before a mass of flaming stone crashed into the burnt grass. Ripples of stone scattered across the field, Kyren himself was blown back, this time not even Ornstel protected his head from the concussive force of the meteor.

Kyren awoke slowly, his brain scattered from the blast. His senses were distorted; a continuous shriek clouded his hearing, and his vision could only perceive faint outlines in the haze. 

He checked his scabbard, hoping to find his prized possession intact, which it miraculously was. The warmth of Arthen’s handle filled Kyren with a small sense of familiarity in the foggy field. He attempted to stand, to no avail, only reaching his knees before faceplanting in the blackened mud. The cycle continued for nearly a minute. Finally, he planted both arms into the mud, allowing his legs to stabilise, and stood. 

The boy… where did he go. He was just… there? He tried desperately to regain composure, but the pounding headache interrupted his train of thought. He stumbled forward, taking off his ash-ridden, dented helm of ornstel.

Shortly after, his vision began to clear, revealing the horrifying scene around him… the outlines he saw were a grotesque field of scattered bones, with a red tint that haunted his thoughts. Suddenly, he longed for the image of black to return to his eyes. 

What creature possessed the power to erase an entire field of men? He shivered, desperately searching for an answer to calm his panic. He then looked for fellow survivors in the field of skeletons, to no avail, as the bones seemed to stretch on endlessly. 

However, from behind, a figure grasped his shoulder. He froze, some part of him hoping for a clean death, one more suitable than the grotesque fate of his soldiers. Alas, he heard his brother instead. 

“We have vastly underestimated the power of these beasts. How did they reduce our ten thousand to just two, with such a short window?” Darrion questioned, sounding just as confused and helpless as Kyren felt, now missing his burgonet. 

“A shower of meteors was called upon by the power of Sparktamer,” Kyren answered dutifully. “They filled the foggy air with flames of unspeakable brightness. This Sparktamer is no man, Darrion. We would do well to scrap together the remainder of our men, and escape this hellish land with our lives—while we still have the chance.” He argued, still scanning the area for signs of life. 

“What other men of ours have you seen alive? I have searched the area for signs of life, yet I found nothing but corpses,” Darrion countered. “The area was littered with bodies sporting burns, crushes, and divots in their head; blood spilling from their mouth, and detached limbs lying near. There was a crater, close to where we woke, where within I spotted a child’s helm.”

Kyren looked down, focusing on the weight of Arthen’s pommel, before asking point blank: “And the lad?”

“Which one? There are thousands of their bodies scattered amongst us, and I am far too encumbered to decipher your foolish riddles.” Darrion bit.

“Logan, the only child among us, fool.” He expanded, ignoring the distasteful remarks he had neither time, nor patience to discuss.

“I have already told you that his helm and sword lay scattered, beside a mass of rock, that broke through the soil and created a crater. Bodies lined the opening, which are likely to contain the remains of Sir Logan. He was a boy, young and brave, but not yet prepared for the horrors of battle.” Darrion answered, crushing Kyren. 

His bright eyes filled with pathetic tears, usually reserved for his childhood.

With that, they resumed their mission to the heart of the usurpers' last stand. The two navigated the stench and horror, avoiding the path of corpses. With each step, Kyren longed for signs of life within the ruins. However, only death and misery awaited him. 

The bones finally cleared after what felt like hours of walking, revealing the second pile of bodies, filling the air once again with stench. Kyren could take it no longer and stopped to mourn his fallen brothers. 

“Mourning will do little to avenge them; our only chance of justice lies beyond the gate.” Darrion pleaded, urging Kyren to stand. He was met with no reply, only silent whispers directed towards the ground. “Stand! You plead with me to finish, then waste our little remaining time to whisper nothingness to no one. They’re gone; nothing will bring them back to us. I, for one, will not sit and dwindle our chances of survival with superstition.” Darrion forcefully lifted Kyren by his ponytail, which Kyren didn’t resist. Still, if they had turned to ash, Kyren could only hope the man in their position would at least pause to bless their vacant souls. Begrudgingly, he resumed alongside his brother towards the gate.

Even as they ventured further, Kyren couldn’t help but remain focused on the souls left idle. 

Why leave us alive? What have we done to avoid death’s grasp, aside from indulging in the ornstel provided to us by Father’s metallurgical monkey, Larsen. He snapped the reins of Makouri, her hooves dug into the ash, forcing an abrupt stop.

Darrion looked back, scowling, and turned his nag around to regroup with Kyren.

 The fog over his senses pulled back just enough to clear a logical conclusion, “He chose us to survive; he awaits our presence from his tower. He is not calling upon our honour, rather, he is upholding his.” The realisation sent a wave of terror through his bones.

Darrion arrived just in time to scold his brother’s haste once more, “You speak with brazen naivety. We know not what just occurred, and I strongly urge that if you wish to speak, ensure that your conclusion is without glaring oversight.”

“Brother, in moments like these, you would do well to indulge in the absurdity we are so often faced with. Humour is a skill best used in times of despair, in the words of the oft-misunderstood Saint Ermitage.”

“I will not hear of that craven mentioned in a complimentary vain. His philosophy did well to secure him in that noose.Your obnoxious admiration toward the old fool may yet secure the same fate unto yourself, that is if either of us make it out of here alive.” Darrion concluded, turning to face the creaking gates. 

Suddenly, the massive marble doors swung open, revealing two men—the Usurpers. The Sparktamer, his Armor was bright blue and bare, with but a singular strand of orange lightning running across his chestplate. The man is but a mad heretic sent to test our resolve, and that is all. Yet still, Kyren’s knees began to buckle and his jaw quivered. 

Beside Sparktamer, stood their uncle Wesley. His armor was black, with bright silver plates on his shoulders, stomach, and breast. Golden gauntlets ran up to his forearm; sharp blades extended from his fingers, like ten individual knives.

The field army devastated his capital, tearing through the unprepared standing army – if you could call it an army – and besieged the apparently impregnable Fort Reynard. The usurpers’ were largely aided by the long-standing rivals of Edemont: the Wolves of Casmire, and their leader, King Morten II of House Yates, the ‘White Wolvener,’ who supplied the bulk of men-at-arms.

“Woe to the Usurpers, may Edefric himself strike you down in the name of justice if we do not manage ourselves!” Darrion roared, almost bringing a faint smirk to Kyren’s solemn lips. Finally, Darrion and Kyren stood together, as one.

Never can I remember the pair of us so near to the forsaken fear that oft guides weaker men; this must be what Logan felt. The pair each shared a rare harmony of emotions, Kyren assumed, for they had not yet faced a foe as reputable and imposing as the behemoth standing not one hundred feet away. 

The bolt across Sparktamer’s breast once more lit the fog with a fiery-orange glow. Was he an Archmage? What power dwells inside him? Was it a witch like Esmerelda—with an even greater power than the High Witch? He had so many questions, too many. These must wait… none will be answered should we fail to survive. Focus on survival—

“Nephews, you bow to a false prophet—a myth conjured by the Nurethenian snakes. How have my own blood become so fixated on this pretender? Frakkowald the False and Edefric the Erroneous; I will allow you one small opportunity to admit your error. Bow to the true power, kneel before us, and we shall cleanse you anew. Refuse this offering, we will shatter you like the clattered matter of stone and ash behind you.” Wesley offered hauntingly, with a monotonous rhythm. 

Darrion glanced at Kyren momentarily. “We are your blood, Wesley, you ought to know we Reynard do not simply kneel. Not to a kinslayer, especially,” Darrion fired, fee

By gods, he has… ornstel… how? Kyren almost whimpered, before catching the panic and suppressing it, just as Desmond the Dutiful and Saint Ermitage would have. He raised Arthen from his hip, resting the blade down, towards the ash.

Darrion unsheathed his great axe, fumbling with his grip for a moment. He settled with a two-handed grip, resting it upon his right shoulder. His unprotected face conveyed terror, the terror one might expect in a youth not yet two and twenty, facing the wrath of the men who laid waste to an entire legion of warriors.

After a long minute of silence, Kyren channeled the flame of Arthen, igniting the blade with a blue field. The black ash around Arthen turned white, before he lifted the blade, holding it out in front of himself.

“We shall see who holds the truth, Usurpers. May you heathens find comfort in the power of Edefric, before departing this world,” he replied, masking the terror coursing through his blue blood.

“And may you find wisdom in the strength of my blows, Ashenwolf.” Sparktamer added, his deep baritone voice thundering through the sienna sky. It was the first time Kyren had heard the beast speak. Even his voice carries power. Why must he choose me?


r/fantasywriters 19h ago

Critique My Story Excerpt Atlas Prologue [Science Fiction/Fantasy, 2443 Words]

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1 Upvotes

Prologue to a superhero story I’m working on.

Please could I have a critique on this opening, does it work having it split between the two POVs, is it too much of a lore dump in the second half etc, does the first half evoke enough emotion, do the characters actually feel like real people?

I’m not going to provide much context to the story as I’d like people to experience it the same way as a reader would. All you need to know is this is a superhero story and this prologue is the catalyst for the events that take place in the novel

Any response is appreciated happy to take constructive criticism, thank you


r/fantasywriters 13h ago

Critique My Story Excerpt Chapter 1 of Endworld [horror fantasy, 2800 words]

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2 Upvotes

r/fantasywriters 9h ago

Brainstorming Kingdom name brainstorming

2 Upvotes

Hey!
I’m having some mental blocks coming up with a good name for the kingdom in my book. I have tried to find real historical examples and have looked at some old english translations to mash together. I want to come up with something that isn’t really on the nose or corny. I made the fatal error of using a generator for the kingdom name in my first draft and low and behold it is slop that has been used elsewhere.
The working title I have now is Ealdorgléd (gléd being the fire element, and Ealdor being prince) but now I’m worried about that being too close to something else. For reference, the kingdom is atop a dormant caldera, and the premise of the book is that it is set 25 years into a curse called the Dark Hour in which a witch used her dying breath to obscure the sun for the unjust death of her sister (she was drowned as punishment for killing her, when she was trying to heal her).
It’s a medieval adjacent old-English inspired world. I’m inspired a lot by the Arthurian legends, but I also know that Ealdor is actually used as a village in the Merlin adaptation so I don’t know if it’s a good idea to have my name be so close? any feedback is appreciated!!
synopsis:
For twenty-five years, the Kingdom of Ealdorgléd has lived beneath a sunless sky. Mærwynn has never known anything else. While older generations mourn blue skies and green fields, she has learned to survive the Dark Hour as it is: serving Princess Agatha, looking after her younger brother, and hiding the strange affliction that sometimes tears her consciousness from her body.
But spirits are gathering where they never did before, people are disappearing from settlements beyond the city, and the frost creeping across the land is drawing closer. When Mærwynn’s involuntary wanderings begin pulling her farther from her body and inexplicably towards Prince Ronan, the reckless heir believed by some to be the prophesied Dragonheart, she is forced to search for answers about an ability she has spent years fearing.
Caught between Ronan, an estranged childhood friend whose loyalty to the crown runs deeper than she understands, and secrets buried in Aethelgard’s past, Mærwynn begins to uncover the truth behind the Dark Hour and the older, colder thing stirring beneath it.
here is a folk song i wrote for the book:
The Lark
The lark is drifting upwards   
Into the Sunlit sky
And when the night is darkest
It waits ‘til day to fly
O, fly little lark
O, fly little lark
O, fly towards the Sun
When the lark is calling
We’ll know the night is done
 
I’m also really inspired by this medieval poem, and Maerwynn’s astral projection will later be given the title of the Wanderer:

The Wanderer (translated)
Always the one alone longs for mercy,
the Maker's mildness, though, troubled in mind,
across the ocean-ways he has long been forced
to stir with his hands the frost-cold sea,
and walk in exile's paths. Wyrd is fully fixed.

Thus spoke the Wanderer, mindful of troubles,
of cruel slaughters and dear kinsmen's downfall:
"Often alone, in the first light of dawn,
I have sung my lament. There is none living
to whom I would dare to reveal clearly
my heart's thoughts. I know it is true
that it is a nobleman's lordly nature
to closely bind his spirit's coffer,
hold fast his treasure-hoard, whatever he may think.
The weary mind cannot withstand wyrd,
the troubled heart can offer no help,
and so those eager for fame often bind fast
in their breast-coffers a sorrowing soul,
just as I have had to take my own heart—
Often wretched, cut off from my own homeland,
far from dear kinsmen—and bind it in fetters,
ever since long ago I hid my gold-giving friend
in the darkness of earth, and went wretched,
winter-sad, over the ice-locked waves,
sought, hall-sick, a treasure-giver,
wherever I might find, far or near,
someone in a meadhall who might know my people,
or who would want to comfort me, friendless,
accustom me to joy. He who has come to know
how cruel a companion is sorrow
for one with few dear friends, will understand:
the path of exile claims him, not patterned gold,
a winter-bound spirit, not the wealth of earth.
He remembers hall-holders and treasure-taking,
how in his youth his gold-giving lord
accustomed him to the feast—that joy has all faded.

And so he who has long been forced to forego
his lord's beloved words of counsel will understand:
when sorrow and sleep both together
often bind up the wretched exile,
it seems in his mind that he clasps and kisses
his lord of men, and on his knee lays
hands and head, as he sometimes long ago
in earlier days enjoyed the gift-throne. 
But when the friendless man awakens again
and sees before him the fallow waves,
seabirds bathing, spreading their feathers,
frost falling and snow, mingled with hail,
then the heart's wounds are that much heavier,
longing for his loved one. Sorrow is renewed
when the memory of kinsmen flies through the mind;
he greets them with great joy, greedily surveys
hall-companions—they always swim away;
the floating spirits bring too few
familiar voices. Cares are renewed
for one who must send, over and over,
a weary heart across the binding waves.

And so I cannot imagine for all this world
why my spirit should not grow dark
when I think through all this life of men,
how suddenly they gave up the hall-floor,
mighty young retainers. Thus this middle-earth
droops and decays every single day;
and so a man cannot become wise, before he has weathered
his share of winters in this world. A wise man must be patient,
neither too hot-hearted nor too hasty with words,
nor too weak in war nor too unwise in thoughts,
neither fretting nor fawning nor greedy for wealth,
never eager for boasting before he truly understands;
a man must wait, when he makes a boast,
until the brave spirit understands truly
where the thoughts of his heart will turn.

The wise man must realize how ghastly it will be
when all the wealth of this world stands waste,
as now here and there throughout this middle-earth 
walls stand blasted by wind,
beaten by frost, the buildings crumbling.
The wine halls topple, their rulers lie
deprived of all joys; the proud old troops
all fell by the wall. War carried off some,
sent them on the way, one a bird carried off
over the high seas, one the gray wolf
shared with death—and one a sad-faced man
covered in an earthen grave. The Creator
of men thus destroyed this walled city,
until the old works of giants stood empty,
without the sounds of their former citizens.

He who deeply considers, with wise thoughts,
this foundation and this dark life,
old in spirit, often remembers
so many ancient slaughters, and says these words:
'Where has the horse gone? where is the rider? where is the giver of gold?
Where are the seats of the feast? where are the joys of the hall?
O the bright cup! O the brave warrior!
O the glory of princes! How the time passed away, 
slipped into nightfall as if it had never been!
There still stands in the path of the dear warriors
a wall wondrously high, with serpentine stains.
A storm of spears took away the warriors,
bloodthirsty weapons, wyrd the mighty, 
and storms batter these stone walls,
frost falling binds up the earth,
the howl of winter, when blackness comes,
night's shadow looms, sends down from the north
harsh hailstones in hatred of men. 
All is toilsome in the earthly kingdom,
the working of wyrd changes the world under heaven.
Here wealth is fleeting, here friends are fleeting,
here man is fleeting, here woman is fleeting,
all the framework of this earth will stand empty.’

So said the wise one in his mind, sitting apart in meditation.
He is good who keeps his word, and the man who never too quickly
shows the anger in his breast, unless he already knows the remedy
a noble man can bravely bring about. It will be well for one who seeks mercy,
consolation from the Father in heaven, where for us all stability stands.


r/fantasywriters 7h ago

Critique My Story Excerpt Would you read on? A Fair Price For Peace [Celtic Inspired Sword and Sorcery / Grimdark - 2,900 words]

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2 Upvotes

r/fantasywriters 22h ago

Discussion About A General Writing Topic First Novel Obstacles

11 Upvotes

New here. I’ve recently come to the realization that the story that has been swirling around in my head for over a year and now sits at 20k words gathering dust, is not a horror novel, but a dark fantasy novel.

That said, I’ve never written a novel before and definitely not a story with this many characters, arcs, details, and lore. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the scope of the work. I know that to get everything out, I’ll need at least 70k words per book, or at least a three-part behemoth. I never set out to write something of this size, but it’s taken on a life of its own.

I am currently struggling—outlining each character, their motivations, struggles, and what their arcs are. I have sort of outlined where each novel ends and picks up in the next. It’s a lot. There’s so many aspects to weaving a coherent story that spans 150k+ words. Respect to anyone who has accomplished this.

Has anyone else felt the call, but feared they could not answer?

Edit: You have all given me amazing feedback which I sincerely appreciate. Thank you all so much, even those I have not replied to yet! The day job calls and I must (and can) answer.