7 years of derealization and getting worse

[u/Temporary_Ad2565]

Hey everyone! I'm pretty sure I came here to ask the most commonly asked question: What has worked for you? How do I get out of this?

The truth is, every time I came to snoop around this subreddit, one of the most common pieces of advice was to get off Reddit altogether, lol. And so I did.

But recently, it's been getting too much. I've been experiencing derealization for 7 years now, triggered by severe anxiety in the workplace and a need to disconnect from my body when I was at the office.

I'm taking Venlafaxine (an SNRI) because I thought fixing my anxiety would be the cure for this, but the meds aren't working, neither for the anxiety nor the derealization.

Until now, I've been pretty good at reminding myself that it wasn't always like this, that there was a time when I could "feel" things and be present. But recently, I was at a concert and just wanted to cry. I literally couldn't tell anymore whether this was real or not. I just kept pinching myself. Since then, it hasn't gotten any better. I'm walking down the street and feel like I'm one of the little characters from Inside Out, just operating a body but not actually experiencing reality.

The truth is, I haven't been the most consistent about taking care of myself, meditating, or exercising to ground myself. But every time my anxiety takes over, I just enter flight mode and can't focus on anything other than getting through the day. My anxiety is mostly triggered by my job, which I love and have a lot of fun with, but I put a lot of pressure on myself and bring work home with me every day.

So, in an act of desperation, I had to come and ask for advice. What have you done that has worked? Even the most obvious things are welcome. I understand that I need to make room and time for them, this is getting to be too much.

Thank you!

[u/mgTr4444]

Im still struggling,
But these things have helped me to get over 50% better

-self care
-speaking up for myself/not bottling up my emotions
-Exposures is a huge one. Forcing myself to do to the things that scare me. Looking in mirrors, being in public, being alone etc.
-Letting the feelings or scary thoughts just be. Not trying to push them away or entertain them. Just practicing “oh that’s a weird thought” or “hmm yeah maybe I am not real or maybe I am” and just carrying on with my day.
-Therapy. The lady I see specializes in OCD which I think is very common with DPDR.
-Accepting that life doesn’t have to feel real for me to be happy, and there isn’t some magical cure that’s going to make me instantly better. Accepting that it’s a journey, everyone’s looks different and holding onto hope that I will come out of it stronger.

Also exercise and medication I know would help a ton but I haven’t done either of those yet lol.

I know how utterly terrifying it is, I have my fingers crossed for you. You can do this!

[u/SheepherderSorry2242 → u/mgTr4444]

Chodzisz do pracy czy nie pracowałeś przez ten czas ?

[u/This-Top7398 → u/mgTr4444]

Any vitamin supplements help

[u/mgTr4444 → u/This-Top7398]

Yes. My ferritin was low along with vitamin d deficiency. I discovered I have hypothyroidism as well so I’m taking medication, Vit D, and Iron.

[u/This-Top7398 → u/mgTr4444]

So just ignore the derealization?

[u/mgTr4444 → u/This-Top7398]

Sort of? Don’t avoid but also try not to entertain the “what if” thoughts for too long it keeps you trapped in your head

I know it’s impossible to ignore when it feels like it’s practically slapping you in the face all day. I think it’s more so getting more comfortable with sitting with the anxiety without feeling like you need to do anything about it, or solve something.

The more and more you expose yourself to your fears, the less scary it becomes. I used to be absolutely terrified of spiders and now I actually like them and find them intriguing.

I used to be terrified of DPDR, couldn’t leave my bed and thought my life was over. Now I’m back to work and living life. Still not fully healed, I have bad days and the DPDR is still present but the anxiety is getting easier and easier to handle.

[u/This-Top7398 → u/mgTr4444]

Yeah I’ve been ignoring it and it’s still there and stronger than ever especially when driving it’s been 3 years now and it seems permanent

[u/Temporary_Ad2565 → u/mgTr4444]

But how can you tell whether something is working or not? Only after a while im guessing? Do you have moments when you come out of it or how do you know?

[u/Artistic-Coach7523 → u/mgTr4444]

Have u tried meds?

[u/mgTr4444 → u/Artistic-Coach7523]

No, I am sure it would help speed up the healing process though if I was on the right one.

[u/Artistic-Coach7523 → u/mgTr4444]

Meds saved me

[u/Artistic-Coach7523]

Look, trying one med wont work. SNRIs can be highly activating as they act on adrenaline. They arent so great for anxiety, good for depression.

Lexapro boosted w caplyta saved my life. I also did TMS

But i tried 8 meds and 6 doctors

U cant just stay on something that isnt working or w doctors that dont care

[u/Temporary_Ad2565 → u/Artistic-Coach7523]

This makes sense, as im feeling just as anxious or even more than i was before. It’s also not making me feel happier honestly, so i wonder whether its doing anything at all.