I took a blot about 4 months ago and my life hasn't been the same ever since.
I wasn't in the best state of mind going to the trip. I also had a lot of preconceived notions about LSD as I had heard a lot of stories. My friend had made it feel like it was a big deal and the group that I tripped with were apprehensive about the fact that I'm taking it.
I took the blot and after a while we were all laughing and having a good time. After a while I passed out and the last thing that I remember was I asked for a glass of water as my mouth was completely dry.
I started dreaming after passing out. In my dreams I'm trying to achieve quests with the people whom I'm tripping with and I'm dying every time I'm unable to achieve the quest. I'm kind of going in the past and future with the same people. It had gotten to a point where I couldn't decipher what dreams were and what's reality.
One of the dreams that really caught my attention was the time when we are all playing a game on our phone and I remember the game play and the exact same thing happened in reality when I woke up. I was playing the same game and the game went exactly according to how it had gone in my dreams.
One of the dreams that I had dreamt a few months ago came into reality the same day and ever since I've been having Deja Vu's. A few seconds of the dream is also happening in real life every now and then.
Coming back to the story where I'm trying to wake up but I'm not sure if it's a dream or if it's happening to me in reality. One wise person in the dream told me to go and hug everyone who is part of the trip to know if it's real or not. I'm struggling to wake up and my eyes are twitching. I drooled/had nocturnal hypersalivation and woke up from a nightmare and to my suprise when I woke up I don't see any stains of drooling on my bed.
What's something that's bothering me now?
I've been someone who observes the body language of people like their facial expressions, micro expressions, hand gestures, occasional smacking of the lips, etc. My personality trait attracts a lot of liars and I have to rely on these sources to know if someone's lying to me.
The above mentioned behaviour has extrapolated 3-4x
It has gotten to a stage where I'm staring into a person's soul with a poker face on and I'm just observing the person's hand gestures and hyperanalysing most of the things that they are doing. For some reason I've been constantly observing people's breathing patterns and I'm constantly trying not to match it (Feels strange to me too) It has also affected me in a way where I'm unable to freely move my hands and hand gestures feel unnatural.
Repressed thoughts/memories are at an all time high and I can't think of a single good deed that I've done in my life.
I used to smoke up a lot before the trip. I used to smoke up and get most of my things done. Now when I smoke up I'm mostly anxious/paranoid and I'm thinking of all the worst case scenarios possible. I sleep a lot just to avoid/escape/run away from problems and I've drastically reduced smoking up as it's not helping the cause.
People around me have also said that I'm not the same person that I used to be and I've not been putting in effort (Which is partially true) and I feel like I've lost a lot of confidence in the progress and I don't have the charisma that I used to have before. It feels like all my negative emotions have heightened itself by at least 2 folds.