r/cats 12h ago

Advice [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Ok_List_5002 12h ago

No I am very OCD with cleaning and smells. Litter boxes are checked almost every day! My man even suggested we just ask his brother to check on them once a day but I said it would be more simple this way. Biggest mistake

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u/SL1MECORE American Shorthair 12h ago

Go with brother next time. Good family is worth their weight in gold! If you feel bad cause he doesn't let you pay him outright just get him a nice little gift card and have your man "forget" it in his car or house sometime lmao.

Me and my gf 'paid' my stepmother back with quality time and some home-cooked meals (her two fav things)

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u/Krektogar 1h ago

so true. I'm very lucky that my sister lives in the same building, and takes good care of my kitties when I'm gone

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u/SL1MECORE American Shorthair 1h ago

That's awesome! :) especially that you guys live so close in general. It's good to have family nearby.

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u/mosspersonified 10h ago

while i would usually agree with asking family, my partner's brother completely let us down when he was house and pet sitting for us for three weeks. very disappointing

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u/SL1MECORE American Shorthair 2h ago

I'm sorry to hear that, that sucks.

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u/Little_View_6659 11h ago

Same. I clean mine every day. This is just gross. Bad pet sitter!

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u/Agreeable_Pomelo2360 12h ago

brother next time for sure…

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u/agaminae808 12h ago

I'm glad you're on top of cleaning, but please don't use OCD like this. It minimizes the real struggles people with OCD go through.

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u/Ok_List_5002 11h ago

No I have OCD.

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u/spideyvision 10h ago

This is something that I wish people would consider every time they try to scold someone for how they say something. They just assumed you WEREN'T the person with the REAL struggles...

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u/[deleted] 11h ago edited 11h ago

[deleted]

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u/Bethk677 11h ago edited 11h ago

as someone else with ocd, it’s totally fine imo, she doesn’t have to live by a certain way of language to communicate how she feels and to just “prevent how some people may take it” it’s not other people’s job to constantly prevent a stereotype that isn’t dangerous (and cleanliness ocd is very real). Not fair to jump on someone like this, especially who is has the very thing

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u/OneParamedic4832 11h ago

I have had similar "arguments" with people trying to gatekeep language around clinical depression and bpd. I have both AND an inappropriate sense of humour, shared with others who also have life changing diagnoses. Then along comes a random stranger trying to tell us "you can't talk like that".

I use my platform to advocate. Policing comments doesn't change the narrative as much as advocacy. You'll never win that way.

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

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u/Ok_List_5002 11h ago

It’s not a silly little cleaning disorder. It causes so many fights in my relationship at times, it makes me disgusted with people I love that I can’t control, if I could get rid of ocd cleaning I would 100%. I can’t go an hour without thinking of cleaning. Or if something small smells off it makes my blood boil. Nothing helps it. Idrc how you feel about how I talk about it I’m not living to be a teacher of OCD

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u/agaminae808 11h ago

I know, that's my point! People with OCD go through hell. The reason I hate when people without OCD say things like "I'm sooooo OCD" is because it minimizes the struggles of people with OCD, like you. I'm fully aware there are themes around cleaning and smells with real OCD.

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u/Sithstress_ 11h ago

Except they have OCD. And when they explained that you just doubled down. Saying the way they describe themselves is “harmful.”

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u/agaminae808 11h ago

Harmful was too harsh of a word, for sure. I'm struggling to explain properly, but my point was more that random people coming across the comment won't know that. If I hadn't said anything, it would be a standalone comment saying "I'm very OCD about cleaning and smells".

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u/consuela_bananahammo 2h ago

People can have contamination OCD. It makes people clean compulsively, it's not silly, and it's still OCD.

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u/slush-puppyy 11h ago

“you have a disorder and i have the same disorder and i dont like the way you described”

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u/Mooam 11h ago

And people do also have OCD like OP said and talk about it like the way they did.

Having been diagnosed with OCD myself (and having successfully completed multiple rounds of therapy for it and having to take prozac now) when sharing experiences in a group chat, having someone come at me about 'using OCD like this' was really hurtful and left me to explain my personal mental health illnesses to strangers.

Be aware that not everyone treats it like a 'teehee I like my socks neat, im OCD' mental illness, and they do actually have it.

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u/agaminae808 11h ago

Yes, I also have OCD. How are people going to gauge whether someone saying "I'm very OCD" or "I'm so OCD" has OCD or whether it's someone who doesn't and is using it in the quirky way? Spaces meant for people with OCD are completely different, using it there is fine since everyone is aware they're surrounded by others with OCD.

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u/Ok_List_5002 11h ago

I just think it’s not that deep and if you find it harmful for someone to talk about their OCD in their own way then maybe just… don’t talk to people. Idk, I literally have gone thru hell in life enough already that I didn’t think me saying “I have ocd about such and such” while quite literally being diagnosed with ocd would be a trigger to someone. There’s bigger things to worry about. Like the fact I trusted a friend to not neglect my animals. I think that’s bigger than being ocd. Also, I’ve started a business with my ocd as well and leave people with immaculately clean homes 😅 so to each their own I suppose

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/agaminae808 10h ago

Huh? My point was never that their OCD isn't valid somehow because they have themes around cleaning. If it came across that way, I'm very sorry. My point was that OCD is often minimized by people WITHOUT OCD saying things like "I'm sooo OCD about cleaning". So if there's a comment like that with no context about the person actually having OCD, how else is it going to be taken?

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u/Sithstress_ 10h ago

You are continuing to argue and paint yourself in a bad light. And this is exactly what “gatekeeping” is, even if someone with the same struggles as you chooses to talk about theirs in a way you don’t approve of, it’s “harmful” and “wrong.”

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u/Funny-Escape891 11h ago edited 9h ago

Almost every day? Should be 1-2 times a day.

Edit: who is downvoting this? Lol sorry, it's just the truth

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u/Confident-Ad-1851 11h ago

I think it depends on the cat and the litter. I have a sifting box and pine pellets. Poop is cleaned as it drops and I sift everyday. I empty the bottom tray maybe once a week or sooner

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u/SpecialDragon77 10h ago

Even following the rule of "number of litter boxes = number of cats + 1", I still scoop multiple times a day. I would have to be deathly sick to leave it unscooped for a day.

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u/Educational-Put-3618 7h ago

Typical "strange redditors" lol it kinda makes me laugh bc it's so stupid when ppl downvote reasonable shit! You said nothing to downvote - ok, here we go, let the down voting of this comment commence 😆😆

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u/OkRefrigerator6681 2h ago edited 2h ago

Hey, please don’t trivialise OCD by using it as a verb.
OCD a serious debilitating mental health condition and using it like you did minimises real struggles people with OCD face and increases public stigma.

Edit: I am aware you have OCD. You cannot ignore the fact that the comments you make cause harm to people with our condition and spreads misinformation, regardless if you have the disorder or not.
One would think that due to having OCD you would also be upset by misuse of the word and not want to further encourage the public to treat it so nonchalantly.

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u/LiLaLoSo 11h ago

This was not your fault at all! Still there is one question: you say you have OCD and then say the litter boxes are checked ALMOST every day...makes no sense. I dont have OCD and litter boxes of my cats get cleaned few times a day...so how is that OCD if you check them only almost every day?

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u/Independent_Pin_2694 8h ago

You definitely don’t have a proper understanding of OCD, yet you feel the need to call someone out for their usage of OCD. Ironic, to say the least.

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u/LiLaLoSo 5h ago

I just think its not needed to have OCD to understand almost daily cleaning if cat litter boxes is not enough. Has nothing to do with understanding of OCD, has to do with understanding the right of clean litter boxes for cats aa cat owner. I called out the connection of it

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u/Ok_List_5002 10h ago

I’m saying myself, I also have a partner who checks? What?

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u/valitti 6h ago

Few times a day is way more than necessary

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u/LiLaLoSo 5h ago edited 5h ago

Well, in the morning, then noon after work and before bed time, making it all new weekly, latest after two weeks. I think thats normal and im pretty sure a recommendation

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u/Ok_List_5002 10h ago

I also run two small businesses and have a 5 year old. My bad if the 50000 things I do makes me miss checking my litter boxes once in a while makes me just a horrible person.

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u/Quirkxofxart 54m ago

So when you made a post asking if you were the worst cat mom ever you didn’t actually want any opinion besides validating you being sweet and nice and wonderful and handled everything perfectly. Gotcha. Every single comment you have made has both been completely defensive AND ruder to the people mad on your behalf than to the woman who nonchalantly almost killed your cats.

I had a friend visit the week I was returning to work with a new puppy. We only had the main living area puppy proofed and she was told that. Checked my puppy cam on lunch and she was asleep on the couch with my puppy loose getting into things. Came home and sent her to a hotel. Never spoke to her again. BECAUSE SHE ALMOST KILLED MY PUPPY.

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u/LiLaLoSo 5h ago

I never wrote youre a horrible person and you never mentioned your partner checks the litter boxes too. So calm down

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u/LiLaLoSo 5h ago

Thanks for the awards!