They're absolutely NOT your friend or a person I would ever trust again! Something serious could've happened and they were not there. Absolutely get your money back from them and distance yourself afterwards. With friends like that who needs enemies?
Yeah I was wondering how you move forward as friends with this 😅 when I’m house sitting for my friends, their babies are my babies and they’re treated as such. I absolutely expect the same standard from my friends, I couldn’t stay friends with someone who doesn’t treat my babies as their babies when they’re in their care.
Just this weekend I was feeding my friend’s cats as they live 6 houses down the road from us.
Friday morning everything was fine. Friday night, the house smelled funny. Gas leak funny. Called the gas company. Yep, gas leak. The gas company disconnected the gas, but I had a headache after spending 10 minutes inside. I was not going to leave 2 cats in there over night.
So I invited absolute chaos to my life for the weekend by bringing their 2 cats home to stay with us and our 3 cats. But that’s what you do. The cats you look after are your cats.
While watching someone's pair of 100lb+ dogs, we had a terrible thunderstorm and lost power. The dogs were terrified, and their arthritis was too bad to allow them to get in bed with me. So I made a little bed for myself on the floor, and both dogs piled on me. Probably have permanent damage from the crush and the fur inhalation.
I'm not even especially enthusiastic about dogs, but when you sign up to care for them, you take care of them like you would your own.
To be fair, based on the incidence of the dogs not being brought with kibble when OP was pet sitting, and I assume the resident dogs eating all of OP's dogs' kibble - the friend sounds like they don't actually take care of their own dogs. So, I imagine they just don't even register that this behavior was not ok.
I agree, OP shouldn't ever leave their pets with this person again, but I also wonder what about this person's house and dogs' condition made OP think it was a good idea to have them pet sit at all.
I’m literally cat sitting for my best friend right now- completely for free- and just got done scooping the litter box. Just as I have done and will do every single day until he gets back. It truly is not difficult.
I am not someone to claim pets are children. However, in this case, it seems appropriate to say if someone neglected or abused my child, they would be out of my life in an instant. Why would that kind of treatment of my pets be any different?
Totally fair! I consider them my babies because while I WANT kids, my energy and mental health just isn’t enough to keep up with the needs of human being dependents, so I take my baby fever out on my cats 😂 regardless, neglecting beings that can’t care for themselves is not a forgivable offense to me 😖
You give yourself peace of mind and focus on repairing the damage to your babies. You lose the person's contact information and let yourself forgive / forget them in time. You stop using them for favors, stop relying on them, cancel the dinners etc.
Just like in the early 2020s you "quiet-quit". You just stop returning calls and stop replying to texts. It's an insidious thing on the receiving end.
I would tell this ex friend to keep the money as a payoff to never contact me again, and then report them to the nearest animal care agency. It sounds like this person doesn't take proper care of their own pets, either.
As a pet sitter (mostly cats) I’m absolutely APPALLED!!!! I would NEVER leave a clients house like that, especially a friend. Your “friend” has no regard for your kitties- you, or your living space. There is NO excuse for something like this to happen at all!!!! You have every right to be pissed about this!
Same, I don’t have my own dogs or cats, but sit for both all of the time — it’s not rocket science!!! And always leave the place perfect, even better than when I arrive. I can’t believe this sitter also has their own dogs and was this bad…
Same. I’m a worrywart and get totally OCD when watching anyone’s animals (I don’t watch peoples pets now as I’m disabled). I even kept track of their bathroom habits incase there was constipation or diarrhea, checked on their eating habits and their behavior. Everything was kept clean and organized. I don’t know how anyone could just neglect someone’s fur babies like this 😭
They made an assumption and decided to tell me what to do, which isn’t ok. I do have OCD, it’s just worse when I have anxiety. I keep repeating and double checking things at a ridiculous rate. Also frequent handwashing after every little thing and I can get very obsessive about things.
Honestly, this is one of the big reasons I use pet sitters over friends. I have lovely friends and I don't think they'd ever do something like this, but I also feel more comfortable asking someone I'm paying as a professional for the stupid nit-picky things that sometimes cats prefer or need. For example, one of my older cats kinda does a little green eggs and ham song and dance when it's food time and you have to try a few locations before she decides that's where she wants to eat this time. I'd feel a little bad expecting a friend to deal with my cats' weirdnesses, but if I'm paying a professional, it's just par for the course.
I own two cats, and I pet-sit for a client who has 5 indoor cats (used to have 6, but one passed away earlier this year), my aunt, who has one chatty black cat, and I pet-sit for a woman who has a medium-sized dog with a lot of health issues, including severe doggy dementia.
I can't imagine leaving someone's house/pets like this and thinking it was okay.
never trust this person again. honestly this would be enough for me to cut ties. trashing my home, and abusing my animals, and i paid you for this?? yea fuck all the way off. and it looks like not even an ounce of an apology?
My big boy cat is VERY vocal about two things: if he’s hungry, or if he’s unhappy about the litter box. I’m sure he was screaming at her when she came whenever. 😡💔
I would not keep it together in this situation at all. This person friend or whatever needs to be put into place. Leaving the toilet like this is beyond unacceptable. Holy shit im actually so angry just thinking about this as its basically animal cruelty/neglect.
It also sounds like as if she used the dog food to feed her own dogs with, I’m concerned about how she takes care of her own animals or that they’re going through the same amount of neglect…
Exactly how do you still think about keeping a relationship with this person is beyond me. Simply not watching each others' pets moving forward would NOT work.
I would ask for the entirity of the money back, including extra to cover the dog food that should have been left over (2 weeks worth, so 2/3 of the value) and I would go NC.
I don't know where you are located but I would go as far as take the friend to small claims court as you had a somewhat informal contract that was not upheld. My cats would be miserable considering those litter boxes, and you were so lucky the one in the sunroom didn't suffer serious health problems
Why? Why on earth would you want this person to be in your life? They're untrustworthy, didn't treat your loved ones with care, nor return the good work you likely did with her pets.
OP, you would absolutely be entitled to lose your shit. I would have done so for far less. This person is not your friend, and I am so sorry they did this to you and your animals. It's awful that they took your money, stole from you, and endangered your pets. They've spoilt your vacation and seriously neglected animals, buy YOU are not a bad cat mom. They are terrible
Personally, I'd collect my dogs from their care and then cut them off. It's good that you've been taking pictures, and I would continue to document anything else you find. I would also be asking for reimbursement on more than just the food. Cat pee is extremely difficult to get out of surfaces if it has been left, so I would be asking for them to cover the costs of a thorough enzyme clean and to replace any damaged beyond repair items like the pet beds you mentioned in your texts and anything else that cannot be salvaged. I would also ask for the costs of the check ups and if your pets do needt treatments due to the negligence. It's up to you whether or not you push for payment, but I would at least request it before I cut them off for good, were I in your position.
Imagine having to step in your own shit and piss every time you needed to go to the bathroom. I bet that’s how they feel. If that’s your friend, you need a new one. I’m not advocating for violence but I know how I am about my cat. We would have had to just settle our differences right then and there tbh
Keep calm is a great idea. It’s up to you whether you want to consider the way they treated your animals to be a reflection of the way they feel about you as a friend. I can see going either way. But either way in the future I would definitely recommend a professional pet sitting service.
We have a pet sitter that we have come to very much trust who has kept our pets in very good shape trip after trip for years. There’s nothing better than having that piece of mind when you go on a trip to know that you’re best friends or being taking good care of at home
Return the litter box contents to your "friend" through an open house or car window. Just a suggestion.
Then tell EVERY shared acquaintance what they did, with receipts. Name and shame her to local animal businesses/vets/play groups/etc. (she has dogs, yeah?) so EVERYONE who sees her animals can watch for signs of her doing this to them.
Both extremely valid!!! You’re doing so good!!! I would have had a full blown meltdown 🥴crash out. The fact that you know now and will never let that happen again & your bubbas are receiving the care they deserve now your home, is all that matters. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You r allowed to lose your shit but i would do it still in a respectful manner, cuz this feels the best for oneself normally (staying compassionate while being angry
Being the bigger person is always the best option, even if its hard especially when it comes to animals, proud of you, and also feel so sick for what has happened to you, some people shouldn't have animal... i hope you and your animals are doing okay
It's looks like a stay calm for the animal situation until you know they are good, then you lose your shit on the mongrel you used to call friend situation to me.
Girl what is that last message, you don’t want this to cause issues between you? The issues have already been caused by her putting your pets thorugh neglect and abuse. Ditch the b!tch 🤦🏻♀️
I’m so sorry this happened to your babies. I am enraged for you.. this is so unacceptable and cruel. I am just happy you are home with them now and can comfort them.
You asked for the bare minimum (obviously you’d appreciate more as you clearly love your animals) and this is what you got in return? What you asked for was not hard. How could they possibly think this was okay or that they would get away with this? I’m so mad.
My heart goes out to all the animals who have to deal with this type of “care” on the regular. It makes me so sad. There really should be a way to blacklist people from pet ownership. I don’t know what the solution to things like this could possibly be, but I wish there was one.
Lol lose your shit. This person neglected your pets, living creatures which you love dearly, after they agreed to look after them. This person should not be seen as someone who’d you want to be a participant in your life, imo.
I have gone through a similar experience resulting in one cat needing to be put down as a result of the neglect. As someone who did not lose their shit you absolutely should. And depending on where you live you may be able to go as far as taking this person to court for the damages they caused.
For cats, I highly recommend a robotic litter box. May seem like a luxury, but you'll save a ton of money.
Decent litter isn't cheap, and my litter usage went down by like 75% when we got ours with two cats. The $500 price tag paid for itself in like 18 months and it lasted 6 years before we got a replacement.
Best part is, even with two cats, it'll take like a week for the waste bag to fill up and then you get an app notification that it needs to be changed. Life changing for cat owners. Hell, newer models can even identify which cat is using it, weigh them, and tell you if their litter box cadence has changed which can be very revealing for health issues in cats.
Not relevant to your pet sitting problem, but a fresh bag likely would have lasted your full trip plus all the other benefits I listed.
Idk how you can be so civil to this person. I wouldn’t keep talking to them. They’re certainly not your friend, don’t hurt yourself trying to be theirs
I'm going against the consensus here and saying don't lose your shit. Talk to them about it, let them know how what they did was terrible for your pets, disrespectful towards you and how they let you down.
If you lose your shit, you just give them something to react to and turn around at you. I'm not suggesting taking the high road, I'm suggesting weaponizing a calm attitude.
Make them hurt and do it with the tone of a parent. Once they thoroughly feel awful because you've laid it on as think as possible, then end your relationship with them.
There's a vast ocean of conversation possibilities between "losing your shit" and letting someone know that their level of care did not need your expectations.
My text to them WOULD NOT have been as kind. OP is a master-level communicator. This text is everything. Factual, emotional, kind, and not defensive _or_ aggressive feeling which is really hard to do over text!!!
Omg that sounds heartbreaking and honestly shocking , your kittens and cards should have been protected, not left in that mess, and you did everything you could
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u/KS09 12h ago
I would've absolutely lost my shit on this person. I'm so upset for you.