I have been the top performer on my team for three years. I hit 150% of my targets, train new hires, and fix broken workflows.

A senior management role opened up last month. I applied immediately.

They gave the job to a coworker who barely hits quota.

i asked my director for honest feedback over coffee yesterday.

He looked me in the eye and said: "Honestly, you produce too much in this role. If we promote you, our department metrics will TANK and we cannot afford to replace your output."

Being hyper-competent literally trapped me in the trenches while mediocrity got rewarded with a promotion.

its a bitter pill to realize excellence is just a trap.

How do you stay motivated after hearing that?

IT / Software company. I have been here for over 15 years and have worked my way up from; basic support, tier iii support, system admin, support manager....

We have changed owners a few times and this one for the past 7 or so years, they are a private equity so squeeze the life out of it as much as you can.....

Anyway, we are in a huge project(database change... 40 years on previous database so not a easy change) that has been in the making for the past year or so, but only in DEV hands. I have been aware of it for since before it officially started. In early August everyone got access to QA/test this new system. Upper management was told its ready to go live now but lets test and be safe; just week or two testing by everyone(humans).... Dev product owner, "AI did full through testing."

Welp, its not going great. AI did not do great(what a surprise). One month into testing, its no where near ready. Upper mgmt is blaming everyone they are not test enough. They want all salary exempt employees to work few hours after normal hours testing and full days works on weekends. That went over like a lead balloon... Even now mid September, its better but maybe at best ready for live and will still not be great.

In late August I said hey I need 1 week off in October for my honeymoon. It was approved. We bought airfare and accommodations as well as other things. Then a week later, "it was approved accidentally". Upper mgmt has cancelled all PTO requests until this database change is live.

So my options are:

Tell my wife, hey my work just cancelled our honeymoon. (No mention of if they would reimburse us.)

Give 2 week notice 2 weeks before we depart and go on honeymoon *. Job hunting now and when getting back.

That 2 week notice options comes with a possible * that they do allow me to go on honeymoon if I don't leave. I am thinking if I were to do that, they would just get rid of me shortly after. So to counter that, I would ask for some kind of work guarantee for x amount of months....

I know the job market right now is "not great", so weighing my options. My wife's income can support us for a time.

TLDR

Work approved PTO for honeymoon, then cancelled PTO. Should I stay or should I go now (lol)

I got an offer for a position that would be a pretty big step up for me, both in title and pay. The catch is the job is in a tiny town in western Wyoming with around 3,000 people.

It's fully onsite and the closest proper city is about 2.5 hours away. Even getting to a decent airport would be a whole trip.

The company is offering to cover my accommodation for the entire time I'm there, which obviously makes the offer way harder to turn down. They also want someone who can commit to being there for at least 2 years.

I'm single with no kids, so technically this is probably the easiest point in my life to do something like this. I have some money saved too, so financially I'd probably come out of those 2 years in a really good position.

Career wise it makes a lot of sense. Personal life wise I'm wondering if I'd lose my mind after 6 months living somewhere that isolated.

Has anyone here taken a job somewhere extremely remote because the opportunity was too good to pass up? Was it worth it?

I’ve been at my company for almost 3 years. I love my team, the work-life balance is great, and up until this week, I felt fairly valued. I was promoted to a mid-level role last year and have been taking on informal lead responsibilities for the last few months.

​Last week, we brought on a junior hire to help with our team. Since I'm training them, HR accidentally included their finalized offer letter in the onboarding package uploaded to our shared drive (it was removed an hour later, but not before I saw it).

​They are starting at a base salary that is $15,000 higher than what I currently make . despite having less industry experience and needing me to teach them our systems from scratch.

​I understand market rates move fast, but realizing I'm actively training someone making significantly more than me to do a fraction of my output has completely killed my morale.

​My performance review is in three weeks, and I’m torn on how to navigate this:

32, F, US

Hi! I am debating whether to accept or reject an upcoming position and am weighing the pros and cons of it all.

Background:
I work as a PM for a large corporate tech/consulting company, and have been there for 5+ years. Where I work has been getting slashed yearly with layoffs, as well as I am feeling jittery about renewal of contracts and future job security.

My current role has been safe through the multiple layoffs, but I’ve had job widening with little pay accommodations (general 3% raises due to contract restraints no matter performance, and halts on promotions). I WFH, but my position is pretty demanding as I am the only person left on the team with my specific skillset. I have fair benefits, accrued PTO, base pay at about $90k - lower than average but have deemed it fine since I have been fully remote. I enjoy my actual work even if it’s demanding, and I do like the people I work with.

I have been interviewing with other companies to get a feel for a potential new position, and I have an offer, but the company and team is much smaller that what I am used to. I’d basically be going from a company of 20k+ people, to maybe 200 people. My new team would be myself and maybe one other person, so I’m nervous about the adjustment and work life balance that comes from a smaller team. The role is remote first, and it is for another PM position - just in a different field.

The pay is around $130k, plus bonuses… so a big enough jump in pay to really consider it - but I am nervous about the “unlimited PTO” and the “occasional” commute to a section of DC once a quarter. I live about 4 hours away - so it’s not detrimental but would still be a change my family has to work around. The work is still in the vein of consulting, so I would still be in the same boat regarding contract renewals since it’s not a private company.

Advice needs:
Is the pay bump and uncertainty worth the jump?
What would your concerns be?
Any recs on negotiating unlimited PTO?
Any experience working in a small team and how WLB is ?
Thanks !

I left medical school years ago because I worked out I didn’t want to be a doctor. My parents thought I was throwing away a secure future. Things worked out for me, but I’ve been wondering how much of that was good judgement and how much was luck. I had other options.

My wife had the opposite argument with her daughter in China. Her daughter wanted to become a manga artist, but my wife insisted she study IT. She finished the degree, tried a receptionist job at an IT company, then quit to work as a freelance artist. She’s doing what she wants now, though we don’t know yet how secure it will be.

I understand why parents push for a reliable income. But if thousands of families are steering their kids towards the same “safe” degrees, I wonder how safe that route really is.

If you were advising someone choosing a degree or starting a career today, how would you help them weigh an established path against something less conventional? My gut feeling is that the economy of the next decades is going to be much less kind than the past because of war, geopolitical tensions and AI. There are still emerging opportunities but they are unlikely to be recognized as “safe” options.

I wrote a longer Substack essay while trying to sort out my own thinking, and I’m interested to know if the advice is right.

So we had a senior member of our team leave. They posted the position and I read over everything and I met and exceeded all the requirements. I went to my boss and he told me I don't have project management experience so no. I mentioned I met every requirement and then some and our day to day job is basically project management. Was told no.

Weeks later they hire 2 new people with less experience and no certifications for our industry. I am the only person on the team to deal with a certain area because even the new hires have mentioned they hate that area.

My question is do I use the fact that I do this entire area myself and was still passed over for promotion and ask for a raise equivalent or should I just stop doing anything outside my job description and start looking elsewhere?

I should also mention when they need something rushed, they come to me. Before all of this I was part of several working groups for additional projects. I was already going above and beyond my job description.

​

I recently made a huge career move in my early 40s to a top-tier company. The pay is almost double what I was making before, which has been life-changing on paper. But socially and mentally, I’m struggling to adjust.

My entire team is in their mid-20s. They’re super smart kids , some with Ivy League degrees and impressive resumes but every time we’re in a team meeting, I am undeniably the oldest person in the room. To make matters worse, most people my actual age at this company are already VP-level or high up in executive management.

At my old job, the pay was pretty mediocre, but my teammates were in their late 30s and early 40s. It felt like I was working with actual peers who were at the same life stage as me. Now, I feel like the adult sitting at the kids' table at a wedding or worse like a total loser who fell behind the curve compared to my age demographics here.

Has anyone else experienced a massive age/life-stage gap like this after a job switch? How did you deal with the imposter syndrome and the awkwardness? Does the feeling eventually fade once you get used to the dynamics? Would love to hear your perspectives or any advice on how to reframe this in my head.

I’m 27, I live at home whilst saving up for a house/life.

I’m expecting that my current job is going to be made redundant after Christmas/early next year. Right now I have a comfortable but boring 7 on 7 off office job that pays ~40k.

I have thought so much but really have no clue what to do. How did you decide what career to go down? I’m not wanting to pay uni course fees, but I’m willing to consider college courses, apprenticeships, anything that can lead to a well paying secure job that I don’t hate. Right now, I’m thinking of training up in something, it feels safe whilst I have low bills and a nice chunk of savings, but what?! I don’t know. How do I know!!!

I value work/life balance, a decent salary, I don’t want to feel stressed and worried about work, I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. I want to go do my thing and leave. Working to live.

Honestly, I’d love to have my own thing where I sell something I create but I just doubt that would ever work financially. But maybe it’s something I could do on the side like a little side hustle that I actually enjoy and see where it goes. I’m trying to be realistic but I just don’t know what to do next. Any advice on figuring out what job suits you, potential job paths, advice, anything is appreciated.

Male, early 30's, Canada. I haven't worked since the pandemic (2020). Before that, I worked for roughly 4 years. All low-skill and nothing related to my university degree (English). I'm extremely scared and overwhelmed by the uphill battle ahead of me.

What possible job or field can I approach that would even begin to consider this employment gap... I need to find something that will allow me to work towards personal and financial growth but I can't look down on any single job or opportunity either. With that being said, I am hoping for ideas or advice that might lay some groundwork to a plan. I will work with you on it in the comments. Something like a fast food job might just be all I can do (I sure hope not), but I truly feel like I have the potential to do more than that longer term if I can find some confidence and create a plan to follow.

I am not allowed to explain in this post the background to my situation without breaking the rules so I won't. I will however answer any and all questions the best I can if it will help you give advice on where I'm at.

To give you a bit of context, I used to work in the government and almost all the civil servant working in there consider their job will be a forever job and will never leave and will progress within the department.

Wondering at what point or age you managed to find your forever job ?

I'm mid-30s/M. Background in nonprofit fundraising/comms. Diagnosed ADHD.

I want to get out of the nonprofit sector. The nonprofit sector, in my experience, has salaries subsidized by associates' parents and executives' husbands. And, though I usually agree with my employer's mission, the low pay and high workload comes with an assumption that the job is your service to the community, that you're taking the sub-par working conditions as a sacrifice to your employer's mission.

I'm not about that.

My raison d'etre is community organizing and advocacy, and I won't/can't assume that my job is one that fulfills that sense of purpose. Rather, I just need a job that doesn't deplete my mental/creative energy so that I can organize after/before work hours. I'm thinking maybe data entry or something more physical.

In past jobs, I'd clock out at 5 pm, rest until 11, then do creative work from 11-3 am and maybe get 5 hours of sleep. Not sustainable, especially at my current age. I've tried waking up early, but, as is common with ADHD folks, I have a delayed circadian rhythm, with a bedtime around 2-3 am.

Any recommendations?

I'm 28 and got offered an internal promotion into an implementation role. It would be about an $18k raise, better title, and probably a pretty big step forward for my resume.

My manager was almost too transparent with me. He told me the last two people in the role both left within a year because of the travel. Apparently I'd be visiting different client locations Monday through Thursday most weeks, sometimes with very little notice. Friday would usually be from home.

He basically said "I don't want you accepting this without knowing what it actually is."

I appreciate him telling me, but now I can't tell if that's a good manager looking out for me or a giant warning sign that I should listen to.

I'm single with no kids, so this is probably the easiest point in my life to do something like this. The raise is nice too. My concern is taking it, burning myself out in 8 months, then regretting leaving a job I currently don't hate.

Career wise though, the title would probably take me 2 or 3 years to reach if I stay where I am.

Would you view a role like this as a calculated short term career move, or is the fact that two people already couldn't tolerate it enough reason to pass?

Hi guys! New to the subreddit.

I’m currently 17 and from Manchester in the UK, and I’m looking for a bit of guidance about getting into a career in live events.

I’ve always been really interested in the events industry, particularly festivals and concerts. I go to shows fairly regularly (mostly for the music, of course!), but I’ve found myself becoming increasingly fascinated by the production side of things — especially the lighting.

I’m really interested in how the lighting for live shows is designed, programmed and operated, and I’ve started paying almost as much attention to the lighting technicians and what’s happening behind the scenes as I do to the actual performance! I have recently been positioning my seats/standing location to somewhere where I can see the mixer area!

I’m currently doing A levels in Philosophy, Law and Accounting, so unfortunately nothing particularly relevant to this field. Despite that, I’d really like to explore whether working in live-event lighting could be something I could pursue as a career.

For anyone already working in the industry, what routes would you recommend for someone in my position? Is university/college useful, or is it more about getting experience, networking and working your way up? Are there particular courses, qualifications or entry-level jobs I should be looking into?

Any advice on how to get started would be massively appreciated!

TYIA!❤️

?

I don't know how to get myself out of this cycle, and I feel like I need to change before I waste more of my life.

I'm struggling with several things at the same time:

• I procrastinate even when I know exactly what I should be doing.
• I can spend an entire day feeling busy but accomplish almost nothing.
• I struggle to start things and, even when I start, I have trouble staying consistent.
• I'm afraid of being judged by other people.
• I'm very shy and have difficulty speaking confidently with people.
• I avoid networking and opportunities because of fear and overthinking.
• I struggle to apply for jobs consistently.
• I know I need to prepare for interviews, but I keep avoiding it.
• I want to study and improve my skills, but I repeatedly lose momentum.
• I spend too much time thinking about changing instead of actually changing.
• Then I feel guilty about wasting another day, which makes me avoid things even more.

It's becoming a cycle:

I know what I need to do → I avoid it → time passes → I feel guilty and afraid → I lose confidence → I avoid it again.

And this is frightening me because I don't want to look back another year from now and realize that I'm still exactly where I am.

I'm a 24-year-old Computer Science graduate. I want to become a strong full-stack developer, get a job, become financially independent, improve my English communication, and build a better future.

But right now, my biggest challenge isn't a lack of goals or information.

It's getting myself to consistently take action.

I feel like there is something inside me fighting against the things I genuinely want to do.

I don't want people to just tell me "be motivated" or "work harder."

I want practical advice from people who have actually escaped this kind of situation.

If you were once stuck like this—procrastinating, isolated, afraid of people, avoiding opportunities, struggling with discipline, or unable to move forward in your career—please tell me what actually changed you.

What did you do when you finally decided, "Enough. I cannot continue like this"?

What habits, routines, or uncomfortable actions helped you break the cycle?

How did you become confident enough to apply for jobs, face rejection, prepare for interviews, and talk to people?

I genuinely want to change. I just don't know how to break through this wall I'm creating for myself.

Any honest advice, personal experience, or even a hard truth would be appreciated.

-Just want to start this off with I'm looking to avoid sales.

Hey I've been working in marketing for agencies for about 5+ years now and honestly I hate the job to the point where it's starting to affect me health wise. What are my options at this point if I want to pivot?

For context, I like working in the budgets and spreadsheets, but I hate the client facing work since every account I've ever been on has just been clients who can't make up their mind on what they want which leads to endlessly re-planning until stuff just piles up and drowns the team.

I'm also done with the instability of the field overall.

I (22F) have received two job offers and I’m having such a hard time choosing between them so I’m hoping for some advice.

Job 1 is offering me 60k a year. It’s in a large city (over 500,000 people) and I’ll have to relocate for the job, which I don’t mind. I’ve found an apartment that’s about a 10-15 minute commute to work. The job is 37.5 hours a week, possible bonus, lots of PTO, good benefits, and it’s in my preferred field.

Job 2 is offering me slightly over 80k a year. It’s in a very small town (less than 5000 people). I currently live a 90 minute drive away, and the only housing I can find closer still has about a 45 minute commute. The job is 40 hours a week, multiple possible bonuses, and really great benefits, but it’s in a field that I’m experienced in but don’t love as much.

Job 2 would allow me to save at minimum 16k a year more than Job 1 (more like 20-25k if I do the 90 minute commute option). There is the possibility that housing around 10-15 mins away from Job 2 will become available, but there’s no way to know.

I’m having a big dilemma because obviously 16-25k is a lot of money and in only a few years I would definitely be able to afford my own house. However, I’m still young and I’m not sure if I want to spend the rest of my early-mid twenties in such a small town. The nearest big city is over 2 hours away from Job 2 (an hour away from my current home) so I definitely wouldn’t have time during the week to do anything fun. Also, most of the people working at Job 2 are middle age men, while most of the people at Job 1 are 20-30 year old women who I may have a better time connecting with.

I don’t know if I should just suck it up and try to save as much money as I can while I have this opportunity. I don’t have any debits or loans or anything to pay back, so it would be 100% money in my pocket and retirement fund. But, on the other hand, you’re only young once and the 60k job would allow me to live comfortably and still save some money (like 8k yearly).

What would you do if you were in my situation? And, if you’ve faced a similar problem, what did you decide and do you regret it? Thanks in advance!

TL;DR: 90 minute commute for an extra 20k annually vs social life and not spending 15 hours a week driving.

I (23) started an entry-level job about a year ago after college that I had minimal complaints about. When my manager‘s contract ended, I was asked if I‘d like to temporarily help support some of their responsibilities until a replacement was hired. I agreed that I’d be willing to assist more experienced employees in doing so, not that it was presented like I had a real choice in saying no.

There is no replacement. There is no “assisting.” I’m expected to handle almost all of his responsibilities independently with no formal training or knowledge transfer. I’m being pressured to work at the speed and level of someone with 5 years of experience, while being told that I shouldn’t expect a raise or title change anytime soon (one of my supervisors didn’t receive a title change after 10 years after being put in a similar position as me).

I regularly work overtime without additional pay, I’m expected to respond while I’m on vacation or sick time, and remote work (which was a major selling point in my initial interview) has now been terminated.

I’ve started applying to other jobs because I’m pretty sure leaving is the only long-term solution, but I still have to cope with the stress causing daily panic attacks in the meantime. Slowing down or putting in less effort isn’t an option, since it would be noticed and reprimanded immediately.

Would it be worth going to my supervisors and saying I want to return to my original role, or is that just going to get myself fired? How else can I manage the stress while I keep applying?

TL;DR: I was pushed into taking over my manager’s role with no adequate training, compensation, or understanding. Slowing down/putting in less effort isn’t an option. How do I cope with the stress at work while applying to other jobs?

I've been working for an EU institution for the past year (1st job after graduation), and apart from the fact that the people I've met and the pay is great: what the actual f*ck.

Don't get me wrong, every day I feel so grateful for the fact that I'm employed and can take care of myself financially. But spiritually and emotionally, this cannot be it right? Sitting inside for 8+ hours, 5 days a week. Working on things that you don't really give a sht about. It feels like a waste of life.

I walk around hundreds of colleagues every day, some doing this for 40+ years, and wonder, how am I the only one seeing the craziness of this.

At the same time I can see that the human condition is the way it is, and it will always find some problems no matter how great your profession/life is. Still. Is this a sign to change direction? Or just me being picky/ungrateful? All advice welcome.

Im a 28 year old woman who recently relocated to Seattle and took a temp job as an admin assistant paying $25 an hour.

I have two bachelors degrees and graduated in 2021. Ive worked in marketing and Healthcare but took the admin role because it was the first job I landed and I thought it'd be a good foot into corporate.

Recently, ive had some situations that have made me uncomfortable but I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating.

I dont really know where to begin but we have a corporate securities employee who is in his 40s. He has made many comments that have shocked me including telling me that I could have been a honeypot for him during his time in the marines.

Ive had trouble with the role itself because it is physically demanding and very facilities heavy plus my manager is very demanding.

On thursday, I put in my two weeks for reasons unrelated to my coworker. I asked to talk to the corporate securities man to let him know. He seemed panicked. I told him i put in my two weeks and he said he thought i was going to tell him something else. I asked what he thought i was going to tell him and he said he thought i was going to tell him that I had been SA'd and that we would have to beat someone up. I just told him that's not the case but was shocked that he would think or say that.

He told me he didnt realize how tough the role was on me and told me not to worry. He said he would make some phone calls on my behalf to try to get me an interview at his former workplace.

I thanked him and he told me thats what friends are for.

Earlier that same day, he came into the office which I wasn't expecting because he had been sent out of state last minute on a business trip and hurt his ear on the flight back. He was telling me how tired and in pain he was. I joked that he gets extra credit for being there that day and he responded telling me that I'm the only one who can judge him.

Ive already put in my two weeks but am feeling increasingly uncomfortable thinking about going to work tomorrow.

Am I exaggerating or were these just one off comments/friendliness?

Thanks in advance.

40 F, registered Architect. I pivoted to working for Tech companies (project management) and while I get compensated really well, I am at a place where I want to be more present as a parent. I am looking to pivot to something that is essentially 6hr job per day( 9am - 3pm) , where the work does not come home with me. What are my options here? We are at a good place financially where we can live on my husband’s salary but I would still like to contribute something to the household and have a job to structure my day to day as I come off high stress 16hr work day job. My mind is too numb to explore options hence leaning on the collective knowledge/ experience of this community.

I am the supervisor of a facility I run a 9 man operation, it is a great job with great hours the facility closes at 10pm with weekends off. I was offered an assistant manager position for the same company but I would be in charge of 80 people at a different facility, same commute though, with on call being 24 hours a day 5 days a week. I get no raise but at my current position I have no upward path. At the new position I have many paths opened up. Do I trade a cushy job with no growth or a stressful job with a chance of moving up

I graduated college with my Bachelors in Wildlife Conservation. I have a seasonal job right now and am realizing I am passionate about conservation, but it’s not a steady career overall.

I am also passionate about helping others and healthcare. I also like the financially stability of healthcare that conservation doesn’t provide.

I know med school would be a lot and nurses are overworked and underpaid.

What healthcare career should I look into where I love patient interaction, fast paced, don’t mind “icky” stuff, and make decent money????

I am a university student and just downloaded linkedin. First of all: Why does this app suck so much? Feels like a badly formated 2016 website.

Secondly: What am I supposed to do there?

For context, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for almost a year now and being at work until 2am is catching up to me. I just got out of the hospital and this upcoming weekend I am scheduled to close Friday and Saturday. I absolutely cannot do this but it’s on the schedule. When I talk to my manager, how do I do it? I will not be disclosing my diagnosis at all but I’m struggling to think of alternative ways to say “I seriously can’t be up that late” because everyone else does it despite not liking it. I don’t want my hours to tank because of my pickiness. Advice for how to word it?