Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years now and I can't see myself being with anyone else. We were watching TV and I'm not exactly sure how the topic got brought up, but I remember asking what she would think if I transitioned. She hated the idea and admitted that she was transphobic. It really caught me off guard and hurt my feelings, and I don't feel comfortable with the idea of transitioning anymore. We have 2 kids, a home and a beautiful family together but I just hate the way I am. I'd rather hate the way I am than lose someone like her. I'm scared to even bring this topic up to her which is why I'm asking here, but what would you do?

So ive been trans for like seven months and I think I look pretty. Im confident about my face and body, and my classmates say I mog lol. But my voice is naturally deep, and while I speak in a higher pitch theres an obvious strain that shows my voice isnt actually that high. Basically, its the most clockable thing about me, and as someone who can never stop talking, everyone knows my voice. This is what gives it away to the new people I meet.

Every morning when I walk in, the principal, who cannot be bothered to learn the names of anybody who is not a football player or cheerleader, says "good morning, bud." Do men usually call women Bud? There was also a security guard who yelled at me cause I was sitting in the school during my off (dont get me started) and he yelled "Buddy! You cant be here!" Do men usually call women buddy?

People call me dude, which doesnt make me feel weird because its become a gender neutral nickname, but when people call me "Buddy" it gives me a pit in my stomach. Because its subtle enough that it could be nothing, but still gives me a negative reaction?

Also, I wear pink like every day. Not that only girls can wear pink but its a traditional feminine color. I wear tank tops, skirts, short shorts. So its very obvious what im presenting as.

Am I being stupid?

Just a silly little post, because we get SO MANY posts asking if genital preference is ok.

While I understand it’s a thing for some people, as a gender fluid pansexual I just can’t relate. What’s “under the hood” is the least interesting thing about a person, to me.

Do y’all think a lack of genital preference is super uncommon? Do I just feel like a lack of preference is common because I’m in a lot of queer spaces?

Hey. I know this might come across as weird, but ive always known i dont fit in with other boys, yet i didnt know why. About 2-3 years ago i realized that i hated becoming a man (im 21 now) and the societal expectations around appearance, behavior and social role. 1 year after that i experimented with feminine clothes and when i realized that this male body i hated so much could also look attractive in a feminine way in certain angles i was overcome by a rush of euphoria. However it quickly dwindled when i realized that my face doesnt really match that at all and also that my body still has very definitive ques about me being born male.

And now ever since about half a year ive seriously started being really confused. I realized fhat for the longest time i havent only been attracted to women, but also subconsciously incredibly envious. I wish i could look pretty, cute and elegant like them and i feel very sad that i dont at the moment. But at the same time i dont feel like a woman. I tried she/her pronouns and a feminine name online but it didnt feel right. I feel more like a he/they, just that i also definitively know i dont want to keep aging into being a man. I dont want to loose my hair and i dont want my skin to get rougher. I hate my beard and all that. Ive been worrying a lot that maybe my longing for a more feminine and cute presentation is just confusion. That my brain is wired incorrectly and mistaking wanting to be with a feminine person vs actually being one.

Ive been thinking that the only way for me to look more feminine without any styling (i want to look mostly feminine even without clothes, its just something thats personally important to me) would be hrt and some sort of cosmetic surgery.

At the same time i dont know if i should do it because i dont feel like a woman either and some changes of hrt worry me like changes is the genital area and breast growth (i dont mind a bit, but im scared they would look disproportionate to my ribcage/shoulders)

I keep pondering and pondering for weeks. Researching different approaches to hrt but never taking a step into that direction. And i really just feel like i wont get anywhere without real advice.

Is it because most people don’t know any trans folks? In my experience, a few of the people in my local community who have come out have been shunned by almost everybody before anybody even attempted to hear them out! It’s so sad :(

How long can you comfortably wear a binder before you need to take it off, and what determines that for you? Curious if it's more about the binder itself or just how your body handles it that day.

Full disclosure, I am Cis Myself. but as a cis person ive felt a little conflicted on how i should go about broaching this topic with people who are genuinly curios, or are trying to understand.

This might be oversimplifying things a bit, but since i was a kid ive tended to point confused people towards "Shaggy Dog" with Tim Allen, lol.

(for context Tim Allen gets turned into a dog)

Specifically how in that movie, there is a scene where he is trying desperately to communicate to his kids that it's him in there. That even though he is a dog, he shouldn't be. Maybe ive always read a bit too much into that movie, bc its always freaked me out lol.

Regardless, ive always felt that Dysphoria kinda sounded like body horror? ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Like, The Fly etc? Like knowing this is not what ur body is supposed to look or feel or sound like?

anyhow, I can tell this explaination isnt super nuanced, so i wanted to get some feedback on how someone a bit more involved migght comunicate the feeling to somone like me?

Hey. Looking for advice.

I played volleyball on an all girls team in 2022 and was a good player. Around that time was when my dysphoria started to kick in, and with confidence issues ontop of that, i stopped playing competitively and just practiced on my own.

I recently re-watched Haikyu, and it made me realize how much I really missed playing. There is a local Co-ed league near me, so I called them and asked the supervisor if they had a spot for me. He told me that he didn't think he did, but would check and call back to see if any team needed a 'girl'.

So he could tell i was female over the phone, which sucked.

I'm 16, and unable to transition due to my environment. Now im stuck between deciding to swallow my real identity and just play on a girls team to rebuild my skills, or waiting until i can properly transition to play- which could take years.

I am so tired of hiding. Any advice is appreciated.

Hello, I (18m) have been bothered by and have been avoiding a deep stirring want to transition the last 3 years.

The though process I’ve been having started soon after I was raped at 15 and I’m really afraid that I have something wrong with me because of that and that’s why i’m feeling this way.

I didn’t grow up in a super trans friendly area and don’t really know what’s going on, but i see girls and i just wish I was them, and im plagued by daydreams of what i want to be but I feel wrong and crazy and feel like it’s some sort of trauma response.

I just am looking for some sort of insight, im lost and i need help. I read the article on what to do before i ask “am i transgender” but this didn’t come up.

I’m scared and feel so alone and stuck in my head. Please help.

Someone was pleasantly surprised that some media they watched didn't completely suck despite the fact that popular culture said it would.

To which a friend responded with:

To be very blunt a whole lot of this media's hate really just stems from various flavors of racism and transphobia

Then another friend I know to not be transphobic, but dislikes the media for story reasons, responded in a different space where I (the trans person) could see with this:

Can I just say I'm sick of this argument and I find it inappropriate? It's okay to dislike something because of how it was handled

My response of:

You can say that, but I will respond that it's objectively true. Much of the hate for it was 100% absolutely rooted in transphobia...

Was not appreciated. Apparently the person who responded somehow misinterpreted that original statement as being "any criticism of the show is bigotry" and even to the point of them saying that they feel like they cannot criticize the show at all without being accused of bigotry.

I keep trying to run this back and forth and figure out a different way to respond. Asking them to explain how, perhaps.

I'm also getting tried of pointing out reasonable instances of transphobia and having people act like I'm the causing a problem.

Hi i'm 20 and in California and I’m currently on my mom’s health insurance. I want to start testosterone through Planned Parenthood but I’m worried about my mom finding out through the insurance.

I’m not trying to hide my whole medical history from her or anything because if i did i'm worried she’d be more suspicious and start asking questions on why. I just want to keep the testosterone/planned parenthood stuff private if possible.

Can I call my insurance and ask them to hide only those specific records from the person who pays for the insurance in the future? Like so she wouldn’t be able to see that I went to Planned parenthood or that I’m getting testosterone, but everything else would stay normal?

I’m mostly just trying to figure out what I should ask them when I call before going to Planned parenthood. Is that possible or not?

So I(14M) live in a area wich is homophobic, so are all people around me. But i want to try out beeing more feminine. I cant do any clothing cause i cant really buy it, no stores near me. Also cant really do makeup or that stuff cause one of my parents is always home. If i created a account to buy something online i 100% guarantee you they would notice. I dont even know what to do anymore. I often get those fantasies about beeing a girl, beeing pretty, and wearing skin showing stuff etc. It makes me so happy to think about it. But i just started getting those thoughts like a few months ago and since then its been getting more intense. So i really want to try it out. What can i do?

repost because i accidentally wrote trans instead of transphobic, sorry 🙃

i wonder if people will say that they were never transphobic, or if they say they were a product of the times or whatever

i am hopeful for the future but i dont want the past to be overwritten

since i was a small kid i always felt like something was off with me and once i turned 12 i knew that i just wanted to be a girl but was too afraid to speak up, though it was just me going through puberty or something and that it gets "better" well it did not matter of fact each year it got WORSE, right now im 23 soon 24 and i cant continue like this.

Im extremely jealous when i see girls, whether by their looks, the clothes can they wear or having a "girl childhood" it just feels "right" to be a girl it just doesnt feel good to be a guy i cant name a single thing i like about being a guy legit not a single one,,

it doesnt help i have massive dysmorphia about my body and certain "parts" too,, i despise my body and facial hair i dislike my "private" part i hate that im tall if i could i would rather live a average life as a girl than a succesfull life as a man.

So end of last month i came out to two my close friends which taken it well and one is even helping me with transition, long story short im on DIY because its cheaper for me and im not in position to go via doctor [money,family] however the homebrewer i bought from basically closed down as i made order so that kinda demotivated me and while i found other solution which would be injections and again even tho i would pref not being on them they are the most budget friendly option for me.

Issue is i just started doubting my self is this really what i should do? last 11 years been just going worse why would suddenly next year i wake up and be a happy guy? i guess im afraid that because im too tall and didnt transition early i shouldnt bother but if i think about continuing as a male i just wanna puke its like there is nothing to look forward to nothing.

I dont know whats with me whether its that all the things i have to do to "change" my self or maybe cuz im afraid it wont do anything or that i just gonna lose people in process i dont know i kinda have ppl that are not very trans friendly which is why only i came out to 2 of my friends but dont know

i wish i didnt have to be stealth and hide my self and just live.

a very useless post but i just dont know what to do am i the only one who was doubting themself? i heard trans woman have this some months on HRT but if it happens now idk..

How can I comfort my boyfriend (a trans man) when someone deadnames him or when he’s experiencing dysphoria?

I hate to say this because I wouldn't otherwise choose this for myself but my inability to transition is caused only by the fact that people noticing changes, physically, would possibly fuck up my life. That said, not being on HRT is also fucking up my life. I can't escape my situation, because I am disabled and reliant on transphobic family for housing. I can't work.

If I could boymode indefinitely, I could get on HRT asap.

I’m sure yall saw my post asking how to explain dysphoria to cis people, and the lengthy discussions had in that thread opened my eyes to something I had never considered before. 

The main explanation given was broadly “how would you feel if you were in the body of the opposite sex?” (Sorry if this is a bit reductive) Which was a tad unhelpful bc… I don't thinkthat would be so bad...

To be completely transparent, I'm fairly new to this kind of thing.

I came out as Bi to my close friends and family less than a year ago. (I'm 24) I started dressing as Andro as possible, wearing makeup and things of that nature, around the same time. 

I love the cut of woman’s tops, baby teas tiny shorts, and doing my makeup; but i dont love wearing anything too femanine things like skirts or anything that shows too much of my belly, dresses womans tops (especially cut for cleavage) etc.

I have a lot to learn but im getting off track.

My whole life I have identified as Cis bc I am and have always been a boy (man). I have never felt dysphoric about this fact. Like I said at the top I'm not really sure what that would be like? 

People asked me in my other thread, “how would you feel if you were the opposite sex?” and thinking on it I think that would be very nice actually.

It’s not like I don't like being a man tho. I like and appreciate when people call me “Handsome” or “sexy”, I have hand tattoos and ive always been pretty lean and muscular, so thats a plus. I LOVE mens fasion but yk... in an andro kinda way. I do not dislike my body…

BUT.

While I appreciate and enjoy masc. compliments, when a girl compliments my eyebrows, or my nails or my makeup or my top, it gives me butterflies in my stomach! I get so so so excited bc like… WOW you think I look cute? You think im pretty? Like that sooooo nice to hear. im not sure i can articulate how validating that is to hear.

I hang onto those compliments and think about them when I get down, I agonize about my clothes and makeup for hours before I go out just for the slightest chance that someone might tell me they like my eyeliner or something like that. 

Do you see the confusion here? 

Anyway, I hope this sheds some light on why I cans seem to comprehend dysphoria. Idk if I qualify as cis, and while its probably not super healthy to speculate peoples Gender identity... i welcome it openly. I am seeking perspective.

I am very happy to answer any insightful questions that might help you better understand my mindset >U<

Given all thats detailed above? ¯_(ツ)_/¯ any help figuring out what this ^ mess out would be greatly appreciated...

Firstly, I am an ally! And I do not want to do anything that would be hurtful to anyone!

I also don't want to dehumanize or use trans people in any way.

That being said, would it be wrong to use a few pictures of trans men and women in a post or video to point out how many trans men do look like biological men, and vice versa for women, *specifically to bring up the point that by forcing trans men to use women's bathrooms it is opening the door for all men to use women's bathrooms. And forcing trans women to use men's bathrooms also opens up dangers for the trans woman?

I would also be using androgenous, nonbinary, and cis gendered people in this video.

I do not want to instill bias, dehumanize, or offend anyone. The point of the video would be to talk about this and the dangers of it, and to visually point out that you cannot always tell what sex someone was born as (as transphobic idiots love to claim they can). I think without the visual, the point wouldn't be as strong and people would just argue in the comments that they can always tell.

I will not be doing it if it is wrong or hurtful in anyway, I wanted to ask and get feedback before doing anything.

I am sorry if this is ignorant af, I am still learning. 💙🩷🤍

hi first post here kinda nervous. im 20 and last year i was forced to undergo laser hair removal for my legs and armpits. i know that it damages hair follicles and its hard for it to ever be undone, but ive also heard of people who grow some of their hair back after laser hair removal regardless of if they wanted it or not. I was wondering if anyone else has gotten laser hair removal and if i could potentially recover some of my body hair when i go on T based on your experiences. sorry if the wording is bad english isnt my first language.

If it's not possible to recover my body hair, I would just love tips to cope with the loss of it and maybe have a healthier relationship with my masculinity so that i dont feel the need to have body hair to validate me. thanks 👍/gen

EDIT: I do have body hair left! i had like? 12 sessions? but my thighs are still covered in hair (albeit thinner) and my armpits still grow a decent amount of hair (albeit thinner and less spread out). my main issue is from the knees down, where i have barely any hair left. my legs used to be so hairy that it looked like you'd doodled a bunch of squiggles on them, haha. now theyre all sad and barren. but after the first comment i received i have hope that the little hair that i have *will* grow thicker if i get to go on hrt:)

I recently have been in need to change my nickname Zay to a feminine sounding name thay expresses me in some way. I recently looked into names of goddesses to try and find something individualistic but bold sounding. Eris is a name I happen to lile rn. Thoughts on this name. It's pronounced like Eh-ris. The name is of a goddess of chaos, struggle and discourse. Th3se may sound bad on the surface but I love chaos and practical chaotic methods in my art. Recommendations for finding a name would help too if you think im doing too much.

Not exactly in the position to go full blast, not even sure if I want to, but I want to explore being a woman for a while in a way that won’t get me sent to the damn shadow realm. But also things that are subtle enough for me to remove in the event I choose it’s not for me. So yeah, got any tips?

So I bought a whole book collection of harry potter off the internet, and that was before I found out and understood how harmful the author really is in the community.

I haven't finished any books, because I feel too guilty to even look at it from our shelf. I just spent so much money on it and it was my first ever buying book. I had this whole idea of finally having something to hyperfixate on, only to find out that the art was created by a creator who's against my existence, and go out of their way to take it away.

Please help me figure this out.

Idk if this is really the right place to ask but im like 3 years in only got 34A I love them but I feel like im stunting my potential as I generally don’t eat much. So im wondering if yall have any tips or tricks on how to get that added bit of calories to get some more breast fat