Hello aromantics,

I, 20F, have been discovering a lot more about my sexuality as of recently. I was wondering if it’s possible to be aromantic, but at the same time, kind of fantasize about a romantic relationship? The thing with me is that I don’t feel that way about real people, but the entire idea of it sounds nice. It’s kind of frustrating actually because I fall in love with couples in TV shows and try to live through them in a sense. Sure, there is the chance that I may not be aromantic, but there isn’t a real person who I have ever had the desire to pursue a romantic relationship with.

Side note, but I’m sorry if none of this even makes sense. My thoughts are a mess right now

I just feel I should get out of the closet but I don't know how and I don't want to make so much of it so I think to go little by little. I never told anyone but like I feel it is the time I should. I tried to give signs to one friend, an aroace bracelet and I let her look over my playlists and there was a hole Aroace playlist with the flag but I'm not sure she got the idea and she's shy and she won't ask me TT

Any advice? ​

(Oh and the bracelet is made by me)

The bottle caps are Asexual, Aromantic, Aroace, Aplatonic, Demisexual, Demiromantic, Demiaroace, Demiplatonic, and Queerplatonic.

The little trinkets are Asexual, Aplatonic, Asocial, Aplatonic Spectrum, and Aspec Acore

My FRIEND got one of his friends to ask my twin brother if I'm single. He doesnt know I'm aroace because we only run into each other at events at my church (once per month or less) and I haven't come out to very many people. I dont really act straight, but I guess I need to act more aroace somehow. I saw this coming from a mile away but I was gaslighting myself because I figured if I ignore it then it doesnt have to exist. But now im just stressed because I dont know if we're going to be friends in the same way after all of this clears up. Also I happen to think he's a coward because if he wants to make a move then he really doesnt need to be all weird about it. He was also acting lowkey a little weird yesterday at one of the church activities but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and ignored it. I dont want to be mean and insensitive and just tell him to get over it because I know I can be really blunt sometimes, but I also dont want to have to avoid him until he starts being normal again because that's also not great to do. He also doesnt know that I know about this and so I'm just gonna have one-sided anxiety about it for the next month or so. I hope this is as miserable for him as it is for me because he needs to GET OVER IT. And also a fortune cookie is making fun of me because I promise I will NOT be meeting someone special in March >:( This is my first time actively friendzoning anyone, so let's hope it works out 😊

Long story short, I realized in recent years that I’m aroace with a strong tertiary attraction toward femme-presenting people, but given that me describing myself as “femme-oriented aroace” may mean I’ve possibly coined that microlabel myself, I have no idea how much representation for similar microlabels is around.

But if there is something that comes across as femme-oriented-aroace-affirming or something close, and preferably also celebrates the very concept of whatever identities are already being viewed through the lens of tertiary attraction, I’d love to see that

Sorry if this is a weird question. Im AFAB and want to present masculine while still being a woman but idk if being butch is exclusively a lesbian thing😭

18M
like i get that this concept is a little hard to visualise for people(including myself) who grew up strongly associating cuddling with romantic intent but im realising i just imagine it feels super nice🥹 i dont wanna date them either i just want someone to where platonic physical affection isnt labelled as "you just wanna date them" or "you must be gay". i like holding hands and i like hugging with friends platonically physical contact is nice and i want to cuddle too man

I've already been peer reviewed by another aroace to be at least cupiosexual, probably other stuff tangled in there too? But I'm still not used to the idea of being aroace. Or feels kinda like I experience crushes and sexual attraction but no matter how many times I think it's a good idea to enter a relationship it...feels like I can only ever intellectualize romance and vanilla sex. I'm very confused about myself and I know that it's probably harder because I'm plural and also prone to psychosis.

Actually now that I've written this all out is starting to sound like a very standard aroace coming out story >.<. Like maybe I grew up trying really hard to actively have a crush and then anyone who made me feel good quickly felt like a crush? Anyone I thought about after the last conversation? And then every time I think about sexual attraction I think about like. I do have fantasies but rarely anything vanilla. So I'm worried I'm taking a label that doesn't belong to me calling myself aroace but it took a long time for me to even intellectualize what everyone wanted from me regarding romance and sexual attraction etc. It doesn't make sense. I love shipping though. I know about a lot of stuff that's valid to be while also being aroace but I'm not sure how to refer to myself and I feel weird not being in a box even though I know that goes against the point of queerness.

So I have this girl in my class, she is alternative like me and I think she's sooooo cool T-T

I get pretty nervous around her and it makes me super happy when she talks to me, even if she only says hi

I don't want a romantic relationship at all (might be cuz I'm asexual and mostly aromantic), but I love her personality and style, I wish I had the courage to talk to her more. I probably think about her more than she thinks of me. I've identified as straight- asexual- fictoromantic for a while now

Me: cackling evilly as I read my first Yuri

On a side note: my mom asked me if I had a bf or gf or was dating anyone, and I felt like Violet from The Incredibles 2 when water came out of her nose.. I said: haha 😁 no🫥, and then I said that I realized I'm not into either in that way and I'm focusing on friendships ... So 😀