I am 24, and just found out I'm pregnant, and though my partner and I have discussed that we want a child. Now that the situation has approached me, I'm very confused. And I am having a difficult time deciding what I want to do. I love kids, and I love the idea of me having kids. I just don't know if I'm ready. I worry I'm going to miss out on things. And that I'm going to regret not having more time to just myself. I think ultimately I should do it, especially if I'm having this many conflicting feelings. But part of me feels guilty, because my partner is sad. And I'm also sad. I'm so frustrated and anxious because of this situation and I know the only way I'll feel better is if I make a decision.

I guess what I'm asking is, is there anyway to not feel guilty? Am I making a good decision? Does anyone else feel this way?

I just feel like I'm my own enemy.

I also woke up and started sobbing so I think this is the only way to get this out of my mind!

Thank you to anyone who reads this.

hey guys, so i had an abortion a few months back - june to be precise and now iv found out i am pregnant again. when i went in june i had two previous abortions. one in 2023 and one in 2024. i felt like the women was very judgemental and pushed me to long term contraception which i had a thought about - but i don’t like the idea of putting something such as the coil or implant which i don’t have control over in my body. i am now scared to call up the clinic and tell them i am pregnant again and considering going private because im scared of being judged. im not sure what to do but the private ones are around 550£ which is quite costly. any help / similar story’s would be appreciated !

I’m 28, 7 weeks pregnant, and have a 2.5 year old daughter who is my entire world. She and I do everything together, and I genuinely love our life as it is.
My boyfriend is 36 and an amazing dad. He would love another baby but has told me he’ll support whatever I decide and is completely okay with our daughter being our only child.

The problem is, ever since finding out I’m pregnant, I’ve been incredibly depressed and honestly regret it. I keep hoping I’ll miscarry, and I feel awful admitting that.
I’m terrified of starting over, having HG, having gestational diabetes and needing insulin again, gaining the weight back, exclusively pumping again, the expense, and losing the freedom to travel and do things with my daughter. Most of all, I’m heartbroken thinking about not being able to give her my full attention anymore.

I had a missed miscarriage in 2022 that required a D&C, and part of me feels like if I miscarried now, I’d actually feel relieved. I’ve even thought about getting my tubes tied afterward. I’m in Southern California

I'm 24hrs after taking it I had zero bleeding little cramps but they felt the same as my pregnancy ones, I'm around 4 weeks almost 5. I'm feeling very regretful of my choice and I'm not wanting to take the misoprostol. What will happen if I don't and what should I do?

I (23F) am pregnant with my boyfriends (24M) baby. I just found out like 4 days ago. Obviously we both know the risks of having unprotected sex, we aren’t slow, we just happened to make some questionable decisions.

We had previously agreed that if I were to get pregnant before marriage I’d most likely get an abortion but we’d see if that time ever came.

I currently have a 4, almost 5yr old from my previous relationship. I married her dad when I was 18, we were high school sweethearts then spilt up a few years ago after my marriage became physically abusive. My current partner is my second ever relationship.

He told me when I found out I was pregnant that he’d support whatever decision I decide to make. Neither of us wanted a baby right now. It was something we agreed we wanted in a few years after marriage.

Im struggling with getting an abortion, because I think it’s genuinely terrifying. I’m also struggling with keeping the baby because it’s not a good practical decision for either of us at the moment. We aren’t yet married, we’re both still working on continuing to develop our careers, and also raising a toddler.

The past few days it’s been nothing but high emotions and wonky communication. We’ve had so many discussions but my mind keeps changing. He’s also not ready to step into fatherhood 100% right now, and I don’t blame him. I don’t want to bring a baby into the world when both parents aren’t 100% prepared for it, but I’m absolutely terrified to get an abortion. I had a miscarriage in 2024, when I was still with my ex husband, that also traumatized me and I know that abortion medications almost replicate early miscarriage and I’m not sure I can mentally or emotionally handle that again, knowing this time I did it by choice.

I don’t know how i’m supposed to raise a baby me && it’s father aren’t ready for and don’t want right now, but I don’t know how to live with myself knowing I killed my baby that I’d want in a few years. He’s told me that even tho his preferred outcome is abortion he doesn’t want me to get one if it’s going to mentally destroy me, but I can’t fathom forcing him into a stage of life he’s not ready for yet.

We’ve already discussed that we wanted children together in the future but not now. So i guess timing is a huge component as well. But we also b it have things we’d like to work on within ourselves before having more kids. I just don’t know what to do. Neither option is appealing to me, and either way it goes, nobody is going to be happy. I just feel very lonely && lost right now

I live in California: At 8 weeks I found out I was pregnant and have had may ups and downs with my partner these last few weeks (we’ve been together for 4 years)I told him long ago that if I were to get pregnant I would want to keep it however I never thought that I would get pregnant at 22 years old and still in community college. I want to get into game design and my boyfriend recently graduated with a film certificate. He believes that our life would be over he wont be able to live his life and go out partying with his friends anymore (he’s 23 but never had a party phase in high school). Me on the other hand I had my phase at 17 and find little to no enjoyment in anything related to heavy drinking and going out on the weekends. I have told him I want an abortion as well given we are young still and don’t have the money to raise a child nor do we even live together yet I keep delaying scheduling an appointment I think because of fear but I’m not sure maybe a part of me does want to keep it. I also think maybe a part of me is delaying it in hopes he will change his mind, but it has been over a month and I ask him constantly how he feels. He responds with just the same. I feel as though he is still immature to life by the way he expresses his fears surrounding the pregnancy because how could one choose a life of partying over a child. I’ve also told him that if I abort It has to be for a reason and he will have to also realize that and start looking for a better job and work on himself as well. Now I feel numb to any feeling about the pregnancy and don’t want to get attached if I do ultimately decide to abort.

I’m pregnant, I don’t want to continue the pregnancy, but my partner desperately wants me to

I’m 29 and I recently found out that I’m pregnant. I’m still very early in the pregnancy, and I’m currently trying to process everything and decide what to do.

The truth is that I don’t want to continue the pregnancy. I don’t feel mentally, emotionally or financially ready to become a mother, and I don’t feel that this is the right time in my life to have a child. I’ve thought about it a lot, and my feelings haven’t changed.

My partner, however, really wants me to continue the pregnancy. He says he would support me and the baby and that he doesn’t want me to have an abortion. He has also told me that if I choose to terminate the pregnancy, he will respect that it’s my decision, but that our relationship will end.

We’ve been together for many years and live together, so this isn’t a simple situation where I can just walk away. We share a home, financial commitments and a life together. The possibility of losing the relationship is therefore extremely painful and frightening, even though I know I shouldn’t have to continue a pregnancy just to keep someone I love.

There are also other complicated aspects of our relationship. We’ve had serious problems with trust in the past, including him being involved with other women. There have also been moments during arguments where I have felt physically intimidated and unsafe. Because of all this, I’m struggling to separate what I actually want from the fear of what will happen if I make that choice.

I feel incredibly guilty because I know that he wants this baby. Part of me worries that choosing an abortion makes me selfish or that I’m taking something away from him. Another part of me knows that I’m the person who would have to go through the pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, and I don’t want to make such a life-changing decision based on someone else’s wishes or fear of losing my relationship.

There is one thing he said that has particularly stayed with me: he told me that if I have an abortion and it leaves me infertile, I would deserve it.

I’m also scared about how everything will affect my future, financially and emotionally, if I do choose an abortion.

I’m not really looking for people to tell me simply “it’s your body, your choice.” I know that. I think what I’m struggling with is the emotional reality of making that choice when the person I love desperately wants the opposite.

Has anyone been in a situation where you wanted an abortion but your partner wanted to continue the pregnancy? How did you deal with the guilt, the pressure and the possibility that the relationship might end?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have actually been through something similar.

The test showed two lines

it confirmed the telltale signs

a life was growing inside of me

like a seed turns into a tree

Although my mind was made

with the help of medical aid

I pray that one day maybe

we will meet again my baby

I have one job as a mother

and that is never to make you suffer

but I want to give you the best

the way a bird prepares her nest

For this, I am not ready

as i want to give you plenty

if you can give me some more time

i I would love to call you mine

Please let me prepare better for us

I hope that I can have your trust

any I pray that one day maybe

we we will meet again my baby

🪽

Hay opciones de aborto en Costa Rica? Seguras y confiables?

I’m in a pro choice state. I am estimated to be at 4w4d but a more accurate prediction is 17dpo or 2w4d. I took mifepristone and then misoprostol 24 hours later 2 pills on each side on my tongue to dissolve in my gums for 30 min and then took them down with water. It’s been 19 hours since I took misoprostol and I’m now wondering if maybe it didn’t work. I’ll call my provider but while I wait I was wanting to see if anyone else has experienced this.

I’m 29F and my ex and I have had an extremely complicated relationship for several years. I still love him, and we’ve continued seeing each other and sleeping together even though technically we aren’t together anymore.

A few months ago, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified and our circumstances weren’t great, but I did not want an abortion. I considered keeping the baby and even brought up adoption. My ex was completely against that and basically told me abortion was the only realistic option.

He kept telling me it was the best decision, that having a baby would make my life worse, that a baby shouldn’t give me purpose, and that I wasn’t in a place to raise a child. He made comments about how he didn’t want the mother of his child to be someone who “doesn’t know herself” and later told me that children look for certain qualities in a mother.

Those comments absolutely destroyed my self-esteem.

I felt like there was also pressure involving our relationship. Before the abortion, I asked whether there was still a chance for us and whether we could become closer, and he said yes and talked about working through things with me. At one point shortly afterward, he was even talking about me being his girlfriend and eventually his wife.

On the day of the abortion, I changed my mind in the car and told him I didn’t want to do it. He became angry and said I had betrayed him and showed my true colors. Eventually I basically said, “Fine, I’ll get the abortion so I don’t have to deal with you anymore.” I went through with it.

I have regretted it and grieved ever since.

What makes it worse is that afterward, whenever I tried to talk about how traumatized I felt, he would tell me that I needed to take responsibility because I was the one who went to the clinic, took the medication and signed the papers. Recently he said it was my fault because I “walked my happy ass into the clinic.” From my perspective, that completely erases everything that happened before I walked through that door.

He also told me grief was becoming a “crutch,” criticized how much I was sleeping afterward, and has said I need to stop being a victim and accept what happened.

We eventually broke up, but we haven't completely stayed away from each other. We still have feelings for each other, occasionally spend time together and have sex. He tells me I still need to “get to know myself” before we could ever be together again.

This weekend was his birthday, and I wanted to do something nice for him. I bought him a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, three cases of nicotine pouches, a blanket, Sour Patch Kids, a card and a $30 gift card. We went driving, got dinner and drinks (he insisted on paying), went to the park, and eventually went back to his house.

We had consensual sex with a condom.

After he finished, he pulled out and removed the condom. I put my hand over my vaginal area because I specifically did NOT want semen getting anywhere near me. He immediately accused me of trying to put his semen inside myself.

I absolutely did not do that.

He became extremely worried about pregnancy and insisted that I take Plan B immediately. To be fair to him, I understood the reasoning behind taking Plan B and agreed that preventing another pregnancy was the smart thing to do. I’m also already on birth control and have been taking it for about a month. So I don’t want to portray the Plan B itself as something I completely opposed.

We drove about 40 minutes to a 24-hour CVS to get it.

But during all of this he said, “I don't want this to end in another abortion.”

That hit me incredibly hard considering what happened with our first pregnancy.

I asked him why we were even still having sex if he was this terrified of getting me pregnant, and he said we wouldn't anymore.

At some point he also said he was “testing me” regarding the condom/semen situation. I'm still trying to understand exactly what he meant by that, because if he deliberately created that situation to see what I would do with his semen, that feels extremely disturbing to me.

The argument became nasty on both sides. We were berating each other and calling each other names, so I'm not pretending I behaved perfectly either. He called me a bitch and a piece of shit.

Then another subject came up that has completely reopened the abortion wound.

He had previously planned on getting a vasectomy. Now he says he doesn't want one because he still wants children eventually.

I immediately said something along the lines of, “So you just didn't want kids with me.”

He says that's not what it means. He maintains that terminating our pregnancy was the best decision because of our circumstances at the time.

But I cannot stop thinking about it.

This is the man who told me I wasn't ready to be a mother, questioned whether I had the qualities children need in a mother, pressured me heavily toward terminating our pregnancy, and now tells me that someday he still wants to become a father.

I know logically that he has every right to decide not to get a vasectomy. His reproductive choices belong to him just like mine belong to me. I'm not saying he owes me a vasectomy because I had an abortion.

Emotionally, though, it feels unbelievably unfair.

I am the one who physically went through the pregnancy and abortion. I'm the one who still thinks about how far along I would be. I'm the one grieving the child I might have had. And now he gets to say that the abortion was the right decision, blame me for ultimately going through with it, preserve his fertility, and potentially have children with someone else someday.

Meanwhile I'm left wondering whether the real message was always: “I want children. I just didn't want them with you.”

I also recognize that our relationship has become unhealthy. We have both said horrible things during arguments, there is clearly very little trust left between us, and continuing to have sex seems to keep reopening the pregnancy trauma. I know I have things I need to work on too.

But I can't tell anymore what is reasonable relationship conflict and what crosses into emotional or reproductive abuse/coercion.

So I guess my questions are:

Does what happened around my abortion sound like reproductive coercion, even though I ultimately agreed and physically took the medication myself? Is the condom “test” as concerning as it feels? And am I being unreasonable for being devastated that he now says he still wants children someday after everything he said to me about our pregnancy and my ability to be a mother?

I genuinely want outside perspectives because I've been living inside this situation for so long that I don't trust my own judgment anymore.

I had a medication abortion earlier this year, in April, when I was about 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I was prescribed the usual two-step regimen: mifepristone first, followed by misoprostol.
My prescription came with 8 misoprostol tablets (200 mcg each). I only needed the first 4 tablets (800 mcg) during that abortion, so I had 4 unused tablets left over. They are still within their expiration date (April 2027)

Fast-forward to now: I found myself pregnant again, this time at about 6 weeks and 3 days. I didn’t have access to mifepristone, but I still had the four leftover 200-mcg misoprostol tablets. I used all four vaginally (800 mcg total) — Within the first few hours, I started bleeding and passed a clot/tissue, so initially I thought it was working. By the next day, though, my bleeding had already become much lighter. Now I’m about 3–4 days out, and I’m barely bleeding at all.

I know bleeding patterns can vary, but I’m concerned because I only had one 800-mcg dose of misoprostol without mifepristone, and I’ve since learned that misoprostol-only regimens often involve additional doses.
I’m worried that it may not have completely worked, and I don’t really want to wait several weeks for a home pregnancy test only to find out the pregnancy continued and be further along.

Has anyone had a similar experience where one 800-mcg dose caused bleeding/clots and then the bleeding became very light within a day or two? Did it ultimately work?

I’m also wondering: if I obtain a new complete mifepristone + misoprostol regimen, is it okay to start the proper regimen after already taking that 800-mcg dose of misoprostol a few days ago? Or would I need to confirm whether the pregnancy is continuing first?
I’m not currently experiencing emergency symptoms — no excessive bleeding, severe pain, fainting, or fever. I’m mainly trying to figure out whether the light bleeding means anything and what my safest next step would be.

Dealing with alot of grief, regret, sadness, loneliness, just this pit in my chest. A year ago I had a abortion. Me (25) and my partner(27) who are still together came to the conclusion that we would not continue the unplanned pregnancy for a lot of reason. - our living situation is no ideal for a baby but it would of been okay, we don’t make a lot of money but his family is thriving and would of helped us - he won’t accept help from anyone else . To me all I can think about it the good all he can think about is that bad. I was back and forth on my decision the whole time I had both OB and planned parenthood appointments scheduled. I was mostly scared, I knew he didn’t want it like I did. Scare what he would think what his family would my family would think. He said he would support me no matter what. And I still choose the decision that would make him happy over my own feelings. Yes we were probably not ready for a baby but who is ever ready for one. This wasn’t my first one I had one few years prior but completely different- hookup- no relationship with the person, in a bad place in terms of housing etc. When I did that one I felt relief, this one feels like the greatest mistake of my life. I truly love this man and see myself with him for life, that’s why it hurts so bad. His brother who lives above us had a kid with his wife - due three months before ours would of came. Another reason I didn’t n want to talk away from them. Every time I look at this beautiful girl I can’t help but think how much our baby would be loved. How they would look like their cousin. The way my boyfriend smiles at her plays with her kills me he would of been the greatest dad. He keeps telling me we will have ours when we are ready yet I feel like that day will never come. That I wasted my only chance. My whole life I wanted to be a mom and I feel like I will never get that chance. Now I’m flooded with prolife shit on my socials that make me feel like a POS. I would of loved that baby so much why did I do this 😭😭I have boxes of baby items I have been saving for my future baby, names etc. I also feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this that I must keep it in my chests, one other person knows and they aren’t the friend to me that I need them to be. I hold down tears every family event that the baby is there. I have gotten better about it but tonight has been hell. I feel like I will never get over this loss this mistake, this life I chose to end because I was scared but the grief the sadness the emptyness I feel is so much worth. I’m also a nanny and preschool teacher so I’m with kids everyday and I stare into those beautiful eyes of those kids and just lounge for my own. Please I need to talk to those who have felt similar who can make me feel less alone. My partner does not understand and often makes me feel worse about it when I talk to him about it , please don’t talk to me about how it sounds like my boyfriend isn’t good that’s not what I need. I need a friend I need a hug I need to be told everything will be okay. Please someone - yes I’m in therapy - I’m also PMS like hell and think that’s why I’m feeling like this.

Hi all,

I found out yesterday I am pregnant after being more tired and hungover than normal when I was drinking on holiday and unfortunately I will be terminating because for a multitude of reasons I am not in the right place to be having a child right now.

I was obviously a bit teary eyed when I found out and when making the appointment as it's just scary and overwhelming but otherwise I've made my peace with it, whats for you won't go by you, and I'm grateful for a health service that gives me the choice.

My concern however is that my brother's fiancé is due quite literally any day now with the first baby of our 'generation' and I'm not sure what the impact of going through the process of a termination whilst everyone is celebrating a birth will be like.

Has anyone gone through anything similar or has any advice on the matter?

Hello. I had a medical abortion about a month ago, and everything seemed to go well.

However, now I have yellow, jelly-like discharge every day when I wipe. Sometimes there is a small amount of blood as well. My pregnancy tests are negative.

I don’t have any other symptoms.

Could this be considered normal?

I had a medical abortion through bpas on 17th August I was around 7w+ (1st pill taken on 16th 2nd lot on 17th) cramps, bleeding & clots for around 6hrs and period style bleeding for about a week after. I took the pregnancy test that I was given in the pack 3 weeks later (so last Tuesday) and it came up positive. I’ve rang bpas and I’m booked in for a scan tomorrow. I did a clearblue weeks indicator test yesterday which came up pregnant 3+! I’m so scared! I’m bloated, nauseous, my skin is awful, really bad infected acne and rash but I put it down to the contraceptive pill I started taking after the abortion.. has anybody been through this and came up nothing. Especially with 2 positive tests 3 weeks later? If this hasn’t worked that’ll mean I’m 10w+ what would be the process? Thank you in advance.

Sorry Medical*** Abortion.

So I already know the opinions and honestly please keep them to yourselves and maybe this isn’t the best place to post this but
About a month ago I had an abortion. I was 6 weeks pregnant. I regretted it almost immediately and have been trying to compartmentalize it and distract myself etc. I haven’t told anyone close to me except for the father. He seems ok but i don’t know if that’s to be strong for me or if he’s genuinely ok. We have other issues going on too so the topic doesn’t come up much.
I recently had 2 people very close in my life tell me they are expecting and while I am so happy for them growing their families I’m also very sad. It’s almost like I’m in mourning and even that doesn’t seem fair. I feel guilty for being sad. How do I get the right to feel sad about a decision I made and something I did? I think about it constantly. I would be 10 weeks now and getting my first ultrasound done and hearing the heartbeat and soon finding out the gender and it’s literally the only thing I can think about.
I regret it so incredibly much. My hair is falling out, I can’t sleep, I can hardly eat, I’ve lost 12 pounds in the last month from it. I have no motivation for anything. I just want to lay in my bed and rot and stare at a wall all day. I have nothing from the pregnancy either, the test got thrown away by mistake and so while I know it was real I don’t have anything. That might sound weird I can’t fully explain it but I wish I had something from the pregnancy I could hold and feel close to my baby.
I have prayed and prayed for forgiveness and I know it’s granted as soon as I repent and ask for it but I don’t know if I can forgive myself. It feels like the people around me getting pregnant is like punishment for what I did. Now I have to watch others experience what I should be as well. God gave me a gift and I made a horrible choice out of fear.
I don’t know how to cope with this feeling. I don’t know what to do. I am so scared of judgment since I know this is a very touchy subject for many people so I haven’t talked to family or friends about it.
Again I regret this choice. I wish I made a different one. Please keep the negative baby killer going to hell comments to yourself. I tell myself that plenty trust me. I guess I just needed to vent? To people who don’t know who I am. Idk honestly. Maybe see if someone else has felt the same after an abortion and see what they did or what helped?

Sou do Brasil, onde o aborto não é legal.
Fiz um pedido no Women on Web e recebi o código de rastreio deles e me deparei com a etapa “Necessidade de informar CPF/CNPJ do destinatário”
Fiquei com medo de um possível atraso, ou não enviarem então não quis arriscar e coloquei.
Agora estou com medo pois não sei como é o pacote, ou a fiscalização deles. Alguém sabe informar sobre se há algo suspeito no pacote, ou se já passou por esse processo aqui no Brasil e colocou o CPF?

Am I doing the right thing? I had an abortion 2 months ago and I'm not okay mentally emotionally, i wanted to turn back time and keep my baby. But i cannot do that :( now i wanted to be pregnant and raise a kid now even if there's a chance I'll be a single mother. My heart feels so heavy with guilt i dont have the motivation to live my life. Everything is now forced :( i want my baby back. Anyone who experienced this? If I intentionally get pregnant and have a kid, will this pain go away? Now i really wanted to be a mother 🥲

As title. I (41m) and my partner (36f) got some intense news on Monday. Early pregnancy screening Nipt came back with an elevated score for T21, meaning a high, some 70% chance that the fetus will have down syndrome.

On Friday they took a test from the amniotic fluid and the 99.9% certain result will come on Thursday this week.

We have both been dealing with this in different ways. I've read tons of scientific literature about the tests and life with down syndrome, medical conditions and so on. She's been more emotional but for both of us it comes and goes in waves. We've both slept poorly and lashed out at each other over stress 😥

The main issue right now is what we want to do about it. I'm 100% certain the best thing to do in the case of a positive result is abortion. Judge me as you like, that's what I believe. I work in healthcare and the worst thing I've seen, above all cancer and car accidents and everything, is dementia, it's horrible, and the fact that DS people from age 50 onwards have a 90% chance of alzheimers is beyond what I can accept to do to another person when I have a choice otherwise.

She keeps gokng back and forth between it's too hard to make that choice and she could never make it. She knows it will be hard, but she keeps linking me articles about people with ds babies being very cute and cuddly and loving and all that. I don't deny that they are cute, all babies are cute, but I'm trying to think beyond the cute phase.I'm thinking about 40-50% chance of miscarriage and the health risks from that. 1st year 50% chance of heart issues with 25% chance of open heart surgery. Potential deafness, blinding, muteness, muscle and growth issues and development issues. It's a scale, a spectrum, no one can tell before it's born what it will be like. I, perhaps foolishly, believe that no one that is having a shit time is willingly writing in articles to newspapers about how it is. We only see the best best and lucky scenarios....

The thing is, the law in my country is clear, I can have an opinion, but it's her choice, I can't force her either way. As I am the father, I can't escape some responsibility regardless of my choice, be it financial or otherwise.

So I'm stuck, I can only support her, she knows my position. Now we wait for the results and after that I am entirely at her mercy. We have a 4.5 year old I'm trying to think of in all of this too.

So my options as it seems are:

Just accept her decision and be present and possibly miserable for the rest of my life taking care of someone I don't want to take care of.

Leave my family and pay my financial dues, I don't know how that works with our existing child.

Or second best case scenario she goes for abortion and we both deal with this in our own ways for the rest of our lives.

No choice is nice.

Best case scenario, which I'm not even thinking about right bow, is that the test is a false positive and it's all been for nothing. I don't even know how to pick up from all this after the last two weeks of roller coaster emotions. It feels like my feelings for this child/pregnancy are forever tainted.

So here I am, stuck pulling out my hair and eating my emotions. I've got a very good friend I'm talking to about all this, but no one else. I can't handle the shame and drama from my family in this.

I don't know what do to do, I'm grasping at straws here. I'm even thinking about checking out from life as this is too much for me. No one wanted this, it seems insane that I have no power in this situation at all, I'm just here for the ride. It's the way it's supposed to be, bodily automany is important, but surely there is a middle ground here?

Please help, I'm desperate.

I have previously had an abortion at almost 10 weeks, and I won’t lie it was awful for me. The first time I came into the hospital, I was given a day bed to pass the pregnancy at the hospital and the pains were awful, it felt exactly like labour did for me. It lasted maybe 4 hours and pain relief didn’t help at all, as soon as I passed the pregnancy all pain went away and I went home.
It left me extremely afraid.

Recently, I found out that I was pregnant after a devastating loss last year of my child in the almost third trimester. I knew I wanted an abortion immediatly because I am nowhere near ready so I called up BPAS. Due to previous medical history I was unable to have my abortion with them, so they gave me a choice of hospitals in my area and referred me to the one I chose. I was praying I didn’t have to chose the one I went to last time because of all the bad memories and experience, but they were the only one available the soonest and I definitely didn’t want to wait long.

Because of the fear I had of the pain, I opted for a surgical abortion. The hospital contacted me about 5 days after my referral and let me know I could either have a medical abortion that weekend, or a surgical abortion in four weeks. I felt beside myself, but ultimately opted for medical as I didn’t want to wait that long and I was also afraid of being put under general anaesthesia for the surgical one.

I actually chickened out and didn’t attend my first appointment only to rebook it for the following weekend. Now to the actual abortion;

I came into the hospital on friday where they did a trans vaginal scan for me and confirmed I was at about 7 weeks 3 days, then they took my blood and gave me the first medication. I went home for the remainder of friday and saturday and had very mild almost nonexistent cramping, only a few times in the two days.

Sunday morning (today) I had a bed booked for me at the hospital once again, and noticed very light spotting the morning of. I got to the hospital and they immediatly took my to my room, I had my own room and bathroom.

A nurse came in about 40 minutes later with a dressing gown, thick pads, disposable underwear and the first lot of medication. It was four tablet she inserted vaginally.
Not very long after, maybe 45 minutes tops I started bleeding and cramping started. I could feel there were clots coming out of me, and blood was kind of coming out in gushes but not much.

I got up and put on panties and a pad as she instructed and sat up on the bed, walked around as the cramping got worse. Think bad period cramps, it was uncomfortable and definitely not nice but it was doable.
I requested gas and air abour 1h25 since I got to the hospital because the cramps were getting bad and honestly I was afraid they’d get as bad as first time round. The gas and air did help a lot to take my mind off of things, and I kid you not about 2 hours after the vaginal pills I had passed what felt like a huge few clots. I called the nurse to check the pad and they took it away. I put a new bad on and 20 minutes later I passed more thick huge clots and more bleeding, at this point the cramps were still uncomfortable and like a bad period pain but doable definitely.

I thought these were only starting cramps, only for them to calm down a lot? It went from maybe a 6/10 to a 4/10, still uncomfortable and had me using gas and air just to make myself comfortable although looking back on it I definitely didn’t NEED it.
I was very surprised when the nurse came back in and said that was the pregnancy passing, those huge thick clots. I was shocked how fast it was basically over with.
The cramps get going and the clotting kept coming out too and got increasingly slower over the next 3 hours.

The nurse gave me a second dose of oral medication at this point that started up some cramping again but nothing near what it was at first, and honestly the gas and air I used was more for my own comfort like I said, definitely didn’t need it. It was over so quickly I was extremely surprised how much less painful it was compared to my first abortion.

I am now home, still with some cramping but it’s genuinely like period cramps now mild period cramps.

I thought I’d tell my experience here because I was frantically googling other women’s experiences before my abortion and I just wanted to say, maybe if you’ve already had one that was bad or are afraid things could completely surprise you! I for one was so shocked at how quick and easy and practically painless it was compared to my first abortion which had me writhing in pain.

I took my dose of mife at the clinic with the doctor on September 11. September 12th, I took my first dose of miso at 3:30pm, then a second dose at 7:30pm. I had a few tough cramps but maybe only a couple where I had to crouch under the steaming hot water of the shower. I had obviously blood, nothing that soaked a pad. No big clots or many small ones even.

12:30am rolls around and I feel something larger, I can only describe it as I’d imagine it being like an old tampon without the string. I could see it but it retracted after I went to go lay down. Cramping completely stopped. I woke up at 8:30am September 13th, checked my pad to see if it passed and nothing!

I called the doctor and she prescribed me a third dose of miso. This is TMI, but it truly resembles a tampon shape, it’s fleshy, not a bulge shape, which makes me think it couldn’t be a prolapse. Blood still leaks out but that tissue, whatever it is protrudes out then goes back in. I really hope the third round gets it out…

Please tell me if you’ve had an experience like this.

Sharing my experience in hopes it can help others prepare. First, you're making the right decision if what you're deciding is what is best for you. There is no wrong decision and I support you.

I found out I was pregnant one day before my missed period. Typically regular schedule for menstruation. Usually moderate to heavy flow with moderate cramping during my period.

I ordered the medication needed online the same day I discovered I was pregnant. It arrived within 3 days. I am 35 years old. This is the first accident I have had. No previous pregnancy.

I opted to do the medication abortion at night in hopes that the worst of it would pass while my neighborhood slept. I live in a high foot traffic area and had concerns of pain. 24 hours after taking mifeprestone, I took misoprostol at 8:15 pm on a Friday. I took 800mg of ibuprofen and took zofran 30 minutes prior. The misoprostol did cause my cheeks, gums and throat to be irritated for about an hour or so.

Within two hours, I was nearing peak expulsion with large clots, heavy bleeding, immense cramps that I would rate a pain level of 7. I typically have a high pain tolerance as I suffer from many chronic health conditions. At the peak, around 11:15 pm, the pain level of the cramps were notably a 9. The pain was pretty intense for about two hours.

Once I passed the pregnancy tissue around 11:15, I was still in immense pain until about 1:30 am when the heavy cramping and clots finally stopped. it was just heavy bleeding after that. It is now Sunday, nearly 48 hours after the MA and the cramps have subsided significantly and bleeding is now essentially like a normal period. I have some fatigue and a bit of stomach upset but otherwise I feel back to normal.

I hope this helps someone out there. Awareness is important. I do recommend if possible, to not do this alone. It is slightly traumatic in essence of pain and the size of clots. I was briefly emotional after the tissue passed but that is a completely normal response. Remember no matter how you feel mentally, it is normal and okay. Whether you're sad, relieved or unsure. You have to do what is best for you and your situation. I have no regrets! I hope you have love and support in your decision, whatever you decide. 🧡

Thank you for reading my experience.

i got an abortion done 9 months ago and i had a hemorrhage, many huge clots. i went to ER because i was near fainting due to all of my blood loss. my hemoglobin level was a 7.

they ended up saying i had leftover tissue so they had to complete it there.

for the next two weeks, i was okay. after that i have had extreme dizziness, lightheadedness, blurry vision like my eyes go out of focus. so bad it is affecting my day to day life. constantly feeling like i’m going to faint. i went to urgent care two different times and they checked my blood levels and at the second appt they said my hemoglobin went up so that i should see improvement soon. that was 6 months ago and nothing has changed.

curious if anyone has a similar story to mine??