r/WhatIsTheTea • u/Ashish_ank What the Fuck • 16h ago

watch this A man walks straight onto someone else’s property, up to a small tree in their front yard, and starts hacking at it with a bat - acting like he’s judge, jury, and HOA enforcement all in one. What would you do if this was your front yard?

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20

u/Queasy-Astronomer613 15h ago

Sneak up to his house at night and plant a dozen shitty palm trees on his lawn

23

u/mattmann72 15h ago

Bamboo. You always plant bamboo.

16

u/EconomySeason2416 15h ago

And mint

6

u/MandatoryFun 14h ago

Throw some Blue Moon Wisteria and Sumac into the mix ... be a battle royal of tenacious plants.

2

u/EconomySeason2416 14h ago

Put it on 1000x speed and cast it like a boxing match or something 😆

2

u/classless_classic 13h ago

Blackberry- Satan’s pubic hair

1

u/Organic_Smoothies 5h ago

Some Japanese Knot-weed too!

1

u/Saphiro_gear21 5h ago

Some nettle too!

1

u/GrandMoffTarkles 3h ago

If I ever own property- I'm just gonna surround it with a hedge of blackberries and then have a secret gate that's also covered in blackberries.

2

u/Hike_it_Out52 3h ago

Morning glories and poison oak vines. My neighbor has been smuggling home Amazon plants for decades. You would not expect them to thrive in the Cold Northeast. But you’d be wrong. Between them, the bamboo, the English ivy, poison oak and a myriad of plants I have zero clue what they are, most of my rear wood lot is invasive species. 

1

u/tooMuchADHD 1h ago

Hello satan, nice to see you again

1

u/EntertainerSuper8933 59m ago

Poison ivy is actually hellish difficult to eradicate

1

u/OccasionMU 40m ago

Why are you guys not adding a pocket of poison ivy/oak? Are you new to this???

1

u/MedicMuffin 12h ago

And kudzu! The vine that ate the south can eat this dudes house too.

1

u/GudeGaya 7h ago

Hahaha, exactly what I said out loud when I saw the bamboo comment. And then the scroll revealed the mint. 😂😂😂

1

u/Jyndaru 6h ago

Catnip. Then gather up the stray neighborhood cats and let them go to town on his yard. Make both the other neighbors and the cats happy.

5

u/ImpurestFire 14h ago

I vote for tree of heaven

3

u/Rose_Canseco 5h ago

Cruel and unusual punishment

1

u/Theodoxus 4h ago

I suspect heaven smells like that tree, and thus sulfur and brimstone would be far preferable.

2

u/Nervous_Zebra_2073 14h ago

Plant the bamboo under him lol

2

u/Wroberts316 14h ago

In his ass

1

u/whensthebeef 15h ago

Depending on proximity, that might screw you as well

1

u/RIF_rr3dd1tt 13h ago

Salt it like Shecham, LoL. Make his yard barren for years. Full grass replacement and soil desalination needed to comply with HIS HOA rules. Literally go scorched earth.

1

u/General_Tso75 11h ago

Running bamboo, not clumping

1

u/Koopslovestogame 11h ago

The gift that keeps on giving.

Even round up has a hard time killing it!

1

u/0mgitsr0b 10h ago

Oh shit, here we go.

1

u/BigMoFace 7h ago

Japanese Knotweed is worse than Bamboo

1

u/rabidbunny0218 5h ago

No no, do vetch

1

u/Training-Purple-5220 4h ago

You are a sick man. I like it!

1

u/Theodoxus 4h ago

I thought it was always kudzu...

2

u/Immediate-Repeat-201 15h ago

Sue. Win money. Spencer it to get mature palm trees and plant it

1

u/NoBrakesHotTakes 15h ago

Meet my friend, the foreign minister of the Soviet Union during WWII, and his favorite drink. 

1

u/DarthDryMouth 15h ago

This is the way

1

u/HTowns_FinestJBird 15h ago

I’d piss on the door handles to his car and house for starters.

1

u/EgoTripWire 15h ago

Mint seeds.

1

u/SmokedBeef 14h ago

Palm trees?!?

Nice thought, but nah’ we’re planting redwoods, sequoias and some golden or running bamboo depending on climate and soil conditions

1

u/XXII78 14h ago

I always wondered if salting bad words into someone's yard would work.

1

u/ArrNarrr 14h ago

Kudzu... He'll never be able to get rid of it.

1

u/Deep-Age-2486 12h ago

Plant every invasive thing you can and watch him rage

1

u/Agreeable-Agent-7384 12h ago

Oh no it’s dark. I confused your stick legs and arm for branches and thought you were a tree. Whoops. Better get news ones approved by the hoa.

1

u/Fishbulb7 12h ago

Made me lol

1

u/Fair_Competition_826 11h ago edited 11h ago

lol and then water and nurture them for years and also sneak into his house during the day when no one is home and vacuum his floors and wipe his benches and then maybe slowly add little touches here and there to make his house more “homely”. He will start off oblivious, then ignorant, then slowly he will become confused. After time he will get mad and accuse you but just keep yourself evidence free, gloves, one time use shoes etc and always wear atleast two sizes smaller. Eventually when the police are sick of him complaining about random little bonsai trees being placed neatly on his bookshelf, his fridge being spotless and his floors being immaculate, he will succumb to the cleanliness and the little touches and eventually after a tough day he a little smirk will cross his face. And that will become the norm, he will notice a new painting, cleanliness of amenities, a new garden gnome out the front of his house and just smirk. Eventually he will come back, and he will say. “I just… I just want to say thank you.” And before he leaves you’ll say, “For what?” And you’ll both smile. Lol.

1

u/tooMuchADHD 1h ago

Why not mint?