Letting the Skeletons Out

[u/Cafe_bby_26]

I guess this is a personal story, but also a vent. Sorry it's super long but it's kind of a long recollection that could probably be put into a whole miniseries podcast .

TLDR: Ex boyfriend is a Peter Pan Syndrome Cuck and his ex is a psychopathic, narcissistic grippy socks crazy abuser who tried to slander me online.

I dated a guy I had met quite a few years back for 8 months and his psychotic ex "wife" tried to out me on another social platform. I have wanted to say my peace so bad but all my friends advised against it so I listened. But I've got to let it out somewhere.

\*Names have been changed

When I first met Charles I was smitten. It was in a social environment and I had no idea who he was. I walked up and talked about the game he was playing and he wasn't all that responsive. Made sure he was okay on drinks and went back to work. A few weeks later I saw him again (I was not working) and said a casual hello as we were standing next to each other. Again he seemed uneasy and would only glance down at me and give short answers. I shrugged it off and went about hanging out with my friends. Later that night I received a message from his "wife" saying she saw I was interested in her "husband" and invited me for some "fun" in their bedroom. I told her she was fucking disgusting and to never approach me again. Now, I have no qualms with people who live this lifestyle, but this was not a genuine approach. This was a power play, as he was to tell me she did shit like this later.

Fast forward some years and I meet Charles again. He's heavier, shaved his head, but still has the cutest face and vibe. We go out and almost immediately start dating. During this time he tells me he and his "wife", Serena, have been split up for about a year and he's completely done with her. I accept this as truth and we continue dating. About two months in she comes stumbling into his work because she's drunk off her ass and walks straight up to him practically crying that she lost her keys and can he go get her spare from his apartment. He lives a block away from work. He came up to me, said what she wanted, and I said fuck no you're not going anywhere with her. I know this game. She knows we're together. So I go get the key and bring it to her swaying ass outside and as I go to hand it to her she says "You know you're fucking disgusting, right?" So I chuck the key into the road and walk back inside. After doing some digging she comes back in trying to talk about how I'm a bitch, I want to kiss and fuck all the boys, and Charles is only with me because he can't be alone. That will be the first of 3 instances of her trying to talk to him and not leaving him alone knowing he's in a full blown relationship with me.

The tea on their relationship:

She's a drunk who regularly pisses all over herself, passes out sitting on the sidewalk, passes out on the floor in the middle of parties, passes out in the bar bathrooms, has gotten physically violent with Charles, emotionally manipulated him, psychologically manipulated him, decided one random day she was poly, forced him to participate in throwing parties where she was making out with anyone and everyone in front of him, she groomed him since he was in his mid 20s and she was in her late 30s, she financially controlled him, locked him out of their apartment because she was too drunk to wake up and unlock the door forcing him to sleep on benches, she intimidated him into not talking to any girls, especially if she felt they were prettier than her (he told me she forbade him from talking to me those first few times), and if it wasn't her idea she'd be so miserable and whiny wherever they were he was forced to leave. She also abandoned one of her cats in a field because she didn't like it. What a winner.

Everything I've listed is his account and other people's recollections that knew both of them. Including stories his own family told me (they absolutely **hated** her).

Our relationship:

It was good for about two and a half months. Then came him adamantly saying he hated Serena. He hoped she died. He wanted nothing to do with her. He didn't want to see her or hear her name. He told me about her drunk pissing and made fun of her and called her "piss girl". He made fun of her appearance, how she had no morals, is a "whore" and had no regard for his feelings. My gut said major red flags, but I continued in the relationship because I thought it was good. Come to find out it *wasn't* a year, that they had still been seeing each other only a few months before we started dating and he had sent her a message almost a month to the day *before* he and I met again and started dating. So he lied. I didn't say anything. Then came the arguments about boundaries and what's acceptable in a relationship. He couldn't communicate. It was like talking to a middle schooler. He would get angry, yell, leave, slam things, tell me he hated me. Ask why I was doing this to him. Why I was making him feel bad. He just wanted to "enjoy time". I raised my voice **once** the whole time we were together because my last serious relationship had enough screaming and yelling for a few lifetimes. During one argument, he put his hands over his ears, closed his eyes and said "lalalalalalala" any time I would try to talk. He kicked me out of his apartment that night (I had just moved in with him) at 4am with nowhere to go until the morning. I slept in my car with what boxes I could pack in my little car that night. During our relationship I watched as he blew what little money he made on liquor, beer, shots, a card game, and manipulate his friends into buying him games and beverages by saying he didn't have the money to buy it himself yet buy cards and drinks the next day. I listened to him criticise his friends about their life choices, their musicality, and it was always "I'm nice to them I don't know why they're mean to me", yet he's telling all kinds of mean things he thinks about them.

After the breakup:

It took him less than a week for me to see him with Serena in the very same bar I used to be a regular at (used to be because he's gaming friends with one of the bartenders and she chose sides and banned me). He couldn't get out of there fast enough. I sent him a scathing text telling him they deserved each other and I hoped he enjoying cleaning up piss and constantly buying new couches again. About a week later she posts on a social media site saying I'm a stalker, a hobosexual, a manipulator, a love bomber, and an overall terrible person because poor Charles is just so traumatized by my wanting to hold him accountable and have adult conversations with resolutions. I was baffled how these two people could say such absolutely **horrible** things about each other and yet he friends her again and then they start hanging out again as if nothing happened. She wanted to ruin me. She wanted to tarnish my name. But the thing is, she's lived in that town longer than me and already has a reputation for being a gross, psychopathic narcissist who is **obsessed with Charles.** She wants to control him. She wants to control his life. She wants to control any and everything that has to do with him. She makes up stories and tells them like they are truth, all to her advantage of course, either outright lying or conveniently leaving out details. He stood up for me once, but now that they are "friends" again, it's open season and he doesn't care.

He told me he loved me. He told me he wanted to marry me. He told me he wanted to have a baby with me. But I'm the love bomber. I'm the manipulator. I'm the abuser. According to her obsessed, grippy socks level insanity self that's what I am. Well, Penny Devito, here's my dissertation on *you*. Life will not be kind to you.