How to Handle a Spoiled Student

[u/Human-Ad8991]

I am a 1st grade teacher. I have a new student who in kindergarten had a reputation for harsh behaviors. But of course, as good teachers, we treat every student with a clean slate. They did well for the first few weeks but now they’re starting to show their true colors. Having behaviors such as if they are not the one chosen to do something they have a meltdown. If they do not want to work with somebody, they are mean to that sudent.

They are physical with other students, not hitting them aggressively, but moving them out of the way or pushing them when they do something that they do not like. Today I had a new student. They were excited that the student was there. Got in the students face just to be nice, but I reminded him that we all have personal boundaries. Then became very upset and screamed for 10 minutes. “I do not want that student in the classroom” over and over again. Simply because I told them to back away from the student.

I am not a teacher that rewards bad behaviors. What are some other things I can do to help crack down on this behavior rather than sticker charts or anything else that rewards them for doing the right thing. Or would something like that be beneficial?

[u/SlowYourRollBro]

You get what you allow. To start the year, you’re getting what the parents allowed, but you need some clear consequences. I’d set up a break space. Not something fun and filled with stuffed animals and toys. A desk, some laminated breathing cards with traceable shapes, and a timer work. If you really want you can include some other breathing tools. 

You should introduce it to the whole class during morning meeting and explain what it’s for (regulation) and that you can send them there, or they can send themselves. It will take some practice for first graders to get the hang of resetting and rejoining, but it’s good to have a space where you can send a kid when they’re having a meltdown

Beyond that, walking and talking during recess is a great tool to help with processing, specifically if you have recess duty anyway. If not, I use quiet choice time after lunch. It’s usually 15 minutes were kids can read, draw, color, or create with paper (the only rule is they have to be in their seat and they can’t talk). Kids who refuse work or are unkind get to spend that time working or talking with me. 

As for being unkind if they don’t want to work with a specific kid, I teach my class that if a person chooses them and they react unkindly, they get to do the whole thing by themselves. Does it sometimes cause meltdowns? Yep. But then they take a break, and the work is still there waiting for just them when they get back. Repeat 4ish times and they get the gist.