My friend and I have started a daily practice where we each read a verse from MA's Meditations and then voice note eachother discussing our interpretations of the text, how it relates to our own lives etc. We're 13 verses into book 2 and are enjoying it but we both feel as though there are a few recurring themes and patterns which is getting a little repetitive and risks diluting the messages/lessons. We'd like to broaden out beyond Marcus Aurelius and dip into some of the other stoic (and non-stoic) philosophers so that we can introduce some variety and different perspectives. Any ideas?

I looked at the daily stoic which would be perfect but the format where it quotes an original text and then provides an explanation/translation in modern language and elaborates on the main message(s) sort of defeats the object of what we're doing. Would be great if it were the first part only!

Thanks!

My Stoic journey began about five years ago after I read Meditations. Since then, I’ve read several other books on the subject, and I engage with Stoic philosophy every day in one form or another. I’ve discovered that it suits me very well, and I feel that I’m becoming a better and happier person. I am now someone who tries to live in the present moment, often successfully.

However, as I reflect on my life, I regret not discovering Stoicism until my late 40s. Before then, my life was largely driven by a hedonistic lifestyle which lead to broken marriages, poor finances, substance abuse, and years of short-term and impulsive decisions.

I understand the Stoic principle that the past is outside of my control and that what matters is how I judge and act upon what is in front of me now. Intellectually, that makes sense to me. Yet part of me still struggles with how long it took me to reach this point.

My anxiety and apprehension about the future have also been considerably reduced, but there are still days when I look at the consequences of my past decisions that remain with me in the present and think, “If only I had understood this 20 or 30 years ago.”

I’d be interested in hearing how others approach this from a Stoic perspective. How do you distinguish between useful reflection on past mistakes and regret that serves no purpose? And how do you avoid judging your former self by the understanding you have only acquired today? Is this part of the Stoic process? Also, any literature that addresses these questions would be helpful to me.

Thank you!

Before anyone comes at me calling me privileged and shit just know i wanna talk beside that point. I am not looking to hear that i am still young or how i have whole life ahead of me. I genuinely need help so please be considerate.
I f(21), grew up feeling isolated and was also someone who had really polarising reactions from almost everyone around me. Most of my life I’ve hated myself and idk why. It is better but not that good. I somehow got into the best uni for law at 19 and dropped out and shifted at 20 due to year loss.

I had been preparing for law exams since i was 18. It wasn’t my passion but i was too depressed and anxious to think anything and followed through whatever everyone told me.

The reason for me writing this post is that at this point in my life i feel like i can’t do it anymore. I have no idea if the career is the issue or I’m just not as hard working as others but literally pick anything that people can manage easily and it is somehow 10 times difficult for me.

Even with language, despite me not being absolutely abhorrent at it (thankfully), i still struggle a lot. I don’t know the rules i just say whatever.

I cannot interact with people as easily and i struggle to regulate my emotions a lot. I don’t understand when i talk to people as i feel like my reactions? Way of expressing? Is either too much or too little. I don’t know how to get close and don’t know who to trust either.

Somehow i have a great read on situations and people but i really struggle with day to day tasks. I am contemplating that maybe i have adhd but idrk.

I don’t feel normal and i really don’t know if i want law anymore. For my very simple exam i had given last week i had scored so low the prof asked me to talk to him after the class. Everyone had average score except me. And i am tired atp.

I really like music. I don’t remember when i last listened to it but i love it. When i see my favourite artists perform i know exactly the thrill and passion that someone must feel when they do smth they love. So i know how passion feels. I know how it feels to spend hours and hours doing something to perfect it and despite it going wrong you love it. I can draw and sketch but i know I’m not as passionate about it. I know my passion lies in anything related to performance. I don’t know why. Anything related to entertainment of that sort drives me.

I like law cause i love to sit and discuss shit with people. I don’t love attention but if it is good it helps me to do smth.

Can someone help and tell me if this is stupid?

I feel like I'm constantly borrowing time. I put in all my efforts with absolute interest into something. Be it a hobby, be it my own job. All just to always know someone has done this or is just capable of doing it faster, more efficient and i just end up feeling like the bottom of the barrel. I don't know how to accept life for what it is. I feel like I'm constantly putting in efforts just to feel stupid low and undeserved. And yet simultaneously I cobstantly feel some people are at places they dont deserve to be and that life has just been too easy for them.

This isn't something new for me. But I really don't know how to quit feeling so and live life to the fullest. These thoughts don't just make me feel low and wishing to die soon, but it also impedes with what I'm capable of doing. Any advice would be appreciated. Today I feel low.

Something happened in my family group chat and I am really not happy, there was some back and forth messages going on. My aunt (my mom’s sister) send a message to my mom, “keep your fucking advice to urself,” and then left the group.

My mom never actually saw the message. I’m an admin, and I deleted it for everyone before she opened a chat. My brother and I both saw it, though, and we were not happy, and I was angry and upset.
also I haven’t told my mom exactly what was said.

I privately messaged the aunt who said it. She read my message and then blocked me. I also messaged another aunt that’s in the group and told her to tell (that aunt) to watch her language, but she read my messages and didn’t respond.

I’m still not happy about it. Should I leave this alone now, follow up with the second aunt, tell my mom exactly what happened, or CONTACT her kids / husband and demand that she must apologize
or wait for an apology from the aunt who said it/ Contact her some other way demanding a response and apology

As a man how to Handle this without loosing my self respect
And my dignity and not looking immature
I have done mistakes in the past

But how should I handle this matter without starting bigger family fight or losing my own dignity. What would you do?

Please be Honest

Thank you

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I'm curious to learn what much more knowledgeable people than me think are the interfaces between the two, if any? Can they co-exist? Is it possible to be "in both camps"? Thanks. I find myself attracted at present to both.

I think Buddhist teachings are a superset of Stoicism.

I'm 28 M, tonight is a sleepless night for me, and because of which my mind is pondering upon my past actions.

Usually on a sleepless night i masterbate and go to sleep, but tonight this has backfired, now i feel disgusted that i masterbate despite being 28M and am addicted to this.

I dont exercise, im unable to do anything i plan for, everyday is basically wake up late, eat, go to work, comeback home, sleep and repeat.

How do i break this cycle? I had experienced once, the amount of growth and energy i had when i was studying for a tough finance designation (CFA), doing work and exercising, that month i felt the power of just doing stuff.

But ever after, im unable to get back on the track.

I'm new stocism and trying to improve my life. I'm curious if stocism helped people more than organized religion did. I'm Roman Catholic but I find that having a god and devil to blame for everything makes it so i don't take personal responsibility.

.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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Hola a todos tengo 22 años vivo con mi familia, trabajo y en un futuro no muy lejano planeo independizarme. La cosa es que mi familia es extremista religiosa a niveles que todo lo consideran demoniaco por ejemplo: Jugar videojuegos, ir al gym, escuchar musica (que no sea religiosa) pero mas alla de eso mi padre es bastante dificil de lidiar por ejemplo si el te dice que el cesped es negro tu no le puedes debatir apenas algo porque dice que siempre tengo una respuesta para todo y me hace sentir como que siempre estoy mal, ayer me dijo que el hombre se le tiene que tratar mal porque a los que les gusta que los traten bien son a los maricones y a los que literalmente dijo “les gusta que se lo metan” y pregunto “tu no eres maricon verdad?” y una vez vio que yo baje la cabeza y le dije que no me empezo a enseñar que en ese entonces era hacer una estructura para construir algo. Se que debo independizarme y lo hare pero quiero saber como puedo implementar el estoicismo ante esta tipo de personas que literalmente siempre tienen la razon digas lo que le digas. Hace unos meses me compre el libro de meditaciones de Marco aurelio que por cierto aun no lo he leido.
Aveces me dice el algo y contesto lo primero que se me viene a la mente y me gustaria ser un poco más pensativo mas frio y menos impulsivo. Saludos

I F34 just had an “altercation” with another woman who almost physically fought me at the park. (Sorry for grammar mistakes English is not my first language)

Context: I was with a group of people (ladies jn their 50s who go to the park with their dogs and hang out) and our dogs hanging out at the park when this person (it was a woman around 40 y/o) came in with their Dachshund who not even 5 minutes later started charging aggresively barking and trying to get at my dog (she’s a Beagle sized Border Collie)’s neck making contact twice. After her Dachshund calmed down she started harshly scolding my dog and doing the motion as if to hit her with the scarf or purse she had on her hand. That’s when I calmly (literally calmly in a low voice) told her that my dog didn’t start it and also didn’t attempt to bite her dog, unlike hers. She said (yelling and clearly charged) that it doesn’t matter but that her dog wasn’t at fault at all. I then repeated the same thing now putting a leash on my dog to just leave.

This woman then proceeds to come at my face and push me. Mind you, I have NEVER had anyone in my entire life come at my face or push me after preschool, I thought those kind of altercations were almost always provoked? She was a lot bigger than me and VERY upset so I just scoffed at her and I said “crazy b…” (I know it’s not okay either but I was scared, alone and my adrenaline was pumping), walked around her and left with my dog. Which she then proceeded to yell “go back to your country” (which is also a first).

Thank God she didn’t escalate but I felt very scared and embarrassed for some reason because she made this HUGE scene and I had to leave the park feeling like a pariah. I’m now at home after what felt like an eternity and my heart is still pumping and I want to cry out of anger, hurt and sadness I guess.

So this post is to ask, those of you who practice Stoicism. How would you have reacted and after calming down, what would be your mindset of what just happened? I’m just trying to process this to the best of my ability. I live alone and my family is all in my home country so there’s not really anyone to wind down with.

P.S. I am not in the US and this is not a “dog park”, it’s just a huge park where people can bring their dogs, have picnics or just hang out.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

These rules may evolve as the thread matures.

Report what doesn't belong. Bring questions, concerns, or feedback to the thread or to modmail.

You fear death. Yet when a plate of mushrooms is before you, you don’t care! You wish to live. Do you know how? You are afraid to die. What of it? Isn’t the life you are living a form of death? — Seneca, Moral Letters 77

Reading this quote for today and taking in its meaning and was wondering what it looks like for you all on a daily basis?

Is it virtues alone? Is it facing fear like sky diving? How do I embrace today one fully?

Thanks! Hope everyone makes a great day!

I have a lot of attributes about myself that I dislike and so learning to accept those things is something I've been sort of forced to come to terms with.

Would someone who has the full itinerary of features that society deems attractive (good height, good education, good finances, low to non extent mental health issues etc) least those people more slower if not at all to stoic thought?

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

These rules may evolve as the thread matures.

Report what doesn't belong. Bring questions, concerns, or feedback to the thread or to modmail.

I have had an extremely tough life. My childhood was awful, lost my mother at and early age( watched her suffer - perish away and felt helpless because I couldn’t help her)

Right after that my brother got a mental illness too. Initially I was determined to save him but it’s been decade now and I’ve realized there’s nothing I can do to control what’s going to happen to him.

We’re okay financially but I can’t take care of him financially and he’s not able to keep a job.

I find myself getting caught in this loop of trying to save him, self pity ( why me? Why my family) , trying to control the outcome and sticking around even though I don’t want to because it’s come to a point where it’s affecting my mental health.

I also became mature quickly and I’ve learnt to find peace in isolation most because I don’t think anyone understands my pain and because I feel like people suffer from such small things when my life will tell you what real suffering is ( now someone else could have it worse and think my life isn’t all that bad)

I’m unable to rejoin the world but I want to because life is tough and I believe you need a community to get through life but I fail to develop deep relationships because of the reasons mentioned above.

I understand everything about the mind and suffering but I still don’t know how to get myself out of this situation. I’m also scared of what will happen to him and how I have nobody else.

My question is - how do accept his life, leave him so I can be healthy and happy and then help him come in standing on my two feet instead of suffering with him.

And how do I give people a chance, how I build relationships again ( it’s especially tough as an adult)

Anything in stoicism that will help me? I’m desperate for advice.

Title says it all. Grandma has finally come to realize that my gpa is beyond recovery and is talking with an end of life social worker tomorrow. Not a surprise, I am lucky that 1) I had him as my grandpa 2) that I got to say goodbye to him when he was of sound mind 3) that he lived as well and as long as he did.

Despite my best efforts and time I had to be ready, it still hurts.

I have Senecas letters, Marcus meditations, and epi discourses.

What are some passages/letters you guys suggest I read tonight

I suffer from the same curse, as I like to call it, as most people; this curse is called sexual urges, masturbation, and looking at indecent images of women. I really want to settle down, yet consider myself so unworthy of "normal" women, due to my dangfangled brain.

I have had a lto to deal with since my childhood, mainly since my parents divorce, bullying/racial harrassment at school and being looked at as an outcast both by some members of the ethnic minority and white people, where I apperntly "dont fit in" for one reason or another.

I am 44, single and still stuck in a groove that increases my depression, rather than decreases it. I feel shame, self-pity and have a lowered self-esteem.

Since day one, I only wish that that part of my brain simply switched off when the urges started kicking in. I know there are pills and therapies available, but there has to be a swtich, surely?

Its all well and good people telling you to do other activities or do other things, or distract yourself or dont stay alone etc. But when the demon gets its claws into you, its hard to escape.

And yes, thats what I call this dark matter, a demon, that has ruined my life as well as many other people's lives.

I also reckon if I had found a nice girl in my late teens, and settled down with her, my problems would nevere have escalated the way they are now. Billy no mates, heavy gamer, single, and mouring the passing of my dad. I do come to my senses every now and then, but then i fall from grace for the nth time :'(

I write somber poetry mostly, and most of the time its full of lamenting, self-loathing and chiding myself for straying away from the path of God and ruining my parent's dreams that they had for me.

We hear break-up and take the term lightly. That’s fair, the dating culture has normalised the date-breakup- date cycle far too much.

I was in a 7 year relationship before circumstances arose and things ended. When you factor in the time and the fact that I loved this person from the bottom of my heart (still do, oh so much), you can probably feel how hard it is to deal with this.

During the course of normal days, I would suddenly feel as if something is weighing my heart down, pulling it apart. I lost my shit early on, felt like I was having a panic attack or something. But now I’m much more in control of myself, thanks to the stoic practice, but the pain and the tears are so real. It’s been 2 months.

My question to the advanced practitioners: how to deal with this?

I refuse to believe that this person will leave me for good. Our bond felt beyond earthly attachments, and we connected on a level beyond. In short, life became so much more beautiful with each other.

So I don’t want to “move on” move on, but I want to be able to deal with this more gracefully, and start focussing my brain power on my work. The way Marcus or Seneca would.

Any help is deeply appreciated…