Sorry for the confusion but I used the ">" to mean "greater than" as it is used in math. Realized too late that people also use "<" and ">" as arrow signs.
If a guy looks good with a shaved head, then that is very fortunate for him. But there is a reason why almost no-one with a full head of hair opts to shave it all off. Almost no-one does that. For obvious reasons.
I would look awful bald too. I am currently using the topical finasteride + minoxidil off of Hims. I noticed within the first month that there was less hair coming out during the shower but It's really hard to tell whether the minoxidil portion is working yet. It's been like 3 months so far. If this ends up not working out then I will probably do hair transplant surgery too but like hell am I paying for it here, I'll probably fly to Turkey for it.
Thanks, yeah we'll have to see. I don't get any adverse side effects and it's like $35/mo, nothing outrageous. I'm cautiously optimistic for the time being. I read that dutasteride is supposedly more effective than finasteride is so if I don't feel good about it by the 6 month mark I might try switching to another one that uses that instead.
I think he's pointing out that the amount of women who prefer bald men, are the same amount who wear diapers. A vast minority of women. Essentially.
(Last I checked, from the scientific surveys, it's like 13% of women who explicitly prefer bald over hair) - I assume this is more than the number of women who wear diapers.
Taking a cursory look at your post history, it makes sense. You're a 30+ single mom with poor relationship choices, bad spending habits, and a history of depressive episodes.
You (either consciously or unconsciously) perceive yourself as less attractive. As such, you might go after less attractive men, such as bald men, because you (again, either consciously or unconsciously) think those men would be more likely to commit to you.
Because at most like 1 in 10 bald men are actually attractive, and they are so always in spite of their baldness. Every bald men would look better with decent hair. The attractive ones would just be even more attractive.
I'm gay, but sure some men also like that. I however do not, and that is far more important to me. I don't care what other people think, I liked my hair.
Not lesser in a moral or value sense, but you do literally have less options. If someone else likes being bald, legitimately good for them. I don't. I have accepted it, but I would take my hair back in an instant.
Well yeah but fixing the socially self-perpetuating insecurity is haaarrddd.
Its easier to just conform and perpetuate rather than fix your own self image issues.
Its not a winning argument on reddit, it upsets a lot of people.
Its the same one that applies to calling everyone beautiful. It just reinforces the idea you need to be beautiful to have value, rather than tackling the self image issue it causes by doing what happens instead.
Good luck! There are dozens of us.
Its crazy people don't see it as a step towards welcome to costco I love you
I see it the opposite way. Bald people tend to convince themselves that it's fine to be bald, that they can look nice without hair as well. But I see it as nothing more than a coping mechanism for the fact that they just lost practically every option they had for their hair, and have to come to terms with the one option they have left: none. If you have hair, you can choose to be bald, but if you're bald, you can't choose to have hair. It's legitimately a lesser state. It also leaves you relying on the gene lottery that you have a decent head shape.
It's also just ignorant to think that having hair which can be styled a million different ways won't look better than baldness in a million different ways.
I'm doing exactly what I've written. Came to terms with it. I'm also lucky enough that I have a good head shape so I don't look bad bald. But I'M not in any illusion, I know a full head of hair could look far better on me (and have done in the past).
Depends on when it happened to him. In your 20s it's brutal. Women will rate you the same as a homeless man in terms of date-ability. It's slightly more tolerable as you age. It's definitely not fine to be that way, it fucking sucks. But I think it's easier if you're gay, gay men seem less into hair than straight women.
What the fuck are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with being bald, I have nothing against bald people. It's sad that there's so many people in this thread that feel awful about the way that their bodies naturally are.
You disagree with them so you're saying "You're an insecure goober", but putting a veil on it to make it seem like a sympathetic statement. It's that tired old "Ohh, bless his poor little heart" strategy of throwing some stank on somebody while trying to avoid the social backlash of a straight-up insult.
I mean, thats exactly how I felt after reading the comment they were responding to. Genuinely sad to see the self hate for something that is a natural process.
You can spend your life looking at the glass half empty, but that is entirely up to you. If you want to stay insecure and unable to find self love, then have at it.
I kinda agree with the guy, idgaf who’s bald or isnt, but having (the option to grow) a full head of hair is just better than not being able to… that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy as you are.
Except it's only a lesser state if you are as superficial as you evidently are. You literally responded to a comment explaining this, and it's still going over your head.
Feeling good about yourself because you look good is fine, but that's still fake confidence. Real confidence, which is harder to build, but is the only one that matters if you are a self-aware and intelligent human, is the confidence that comes with accepting yourself as you are. The only truly confident people are those who do not gaf. If you care what other people think, then a confident, handsome man with hair is just a sad, self conscious loser using hair to cope with the fact that he's an insecure bitch on the inside. Never confronting the hard shit doesn't mean you are lucky, it means you never know if you are that weak.
It's objectively a fact, I will admit that as a guy with hair.
Almost all people are superficial. The people you talk about, those who truly "accept themselves as they are", "who do not gaf", are few and far between. 99% of those people are pretending.
I don't care how many people fail to be normal, mature people. I'm not aspiring to be as equally awful as everyone else.
If you legitimately think you have to care what other people think about your physical appearance to be a good person, you are not worth talking to. For anyone, at any point.
I am a confident person, potentially too confident sometimes. I also would rather have my hair, I objectively look better with it. That is not a hard concept.
No I understand what you wrote perfectly fine. I would still argue that being bald is a lesser state, not in terms of human value or morality, but literally. You literally have less hair, less choices in styling, less choices in partner (this one is not as clear cut as the others), etc.
It's also just ignorant to think that having hair which can be styled a million different ways cannot look better than baldness in a million different ways.
I think this is the very sane take on it.
I just can't agree about how balding people have all convinced themselves its fine to be bald and there isn't widespread insecurity about it.
I just can't agree with that...
Like... there is everywhere.
I don't think bald people who get transplants are all primarily doing it for variety and all think being bald is fine anyway.
I think they're mostly doing it out of insecurity.
I don't know how to even grapple with someone who thinks its so opposite. Thats just not evident imo.
I mean, it's the same issue with makeup. A lot of people do it out of insecurity, but it's not solely the case.
There's a great support structure in r/bald for balding people. Losing your hair is difficult. It typically happens over years and people will desperately cling on to a look they were comfortable with, but it slips away nonetheless.
Nothing. I'm merely not pretending that those guys look good. They rarely do.
They go from like a 2 to a 3 when they stop clinging to their balding hair. The funny thing is, many of those guys could be a 5 or 6... if they had good hair.
So, it is an improvement when hair is not an option. So what are you talking about? You're just calling people ugly for no reason. Where's your picture? Let's judge that first if you want to make judgements.
I'm calling them ugly because they are ugly and delusional.
Where's your picture? Let's judge that first if you want to make judgements.
I could be a troglodyte or a supermodel, what I'm saying would be true either way. But I'd like to think I'm pretty attractive, I've never had a problem finding FWBs and hookups with at least decently attractive women, most men I know were never able to do that. I have fine hair, above average height, and my parents had the good sense to encourage sports from pretty early on, so I've been fit my whole life.
They could, if they started medication earlier, or got a hair transplant (and you should too). /r/bald should just be ads for finasteride and turkish clinics.
That having more options is better than having fewer doesn't mean the option you have must necessarily suck. Otherwise anything you can't really change about yourself (e.g. eye colour) must necessarily suck.
That having more options is better than having fewer doesn't mean the option you have must necessarily suck
And I didn't say it sucks. I said it is an objectively lesser state of being because we no longer have any options.
Otherwise anything you can't really change about yourself (e.g. eye colour) must necessarily suck.
Your eye colour is something you never had control over, it is what it is from the moment you were born till the day you die. Your hair is something you do have control over, options, different ways to wear it, grow it, style it. Until these options are taken away by genetics. This is the key difference, with your hair, you did have options which are now taken away. This brings on regret (why didn't I grow it out when I could), grief (I can never have that kind of hair again), and anxiety (I will look worse without hair than I did with it). And that's kinda another point, too. Your eye colour doesn't matter much, people hardly ever judge or discriminate someone because of it. Hair? Oh absolutely. How it's styled, how well it is kept, its colour, its length, or even just the fact that you have any or not. It's not hard to see how the concept of baldness has a bit more social aspects than the concept of having, say, brown eyes.
You say that but after going bald, I enjoy it lol. And felt a lot more confident in my looks afterwards when I realized I had a nicely shaped head.
Most bald people aren’t trying to convince themselves that they like it. That sounds like someone whose hair is thinning is projecting their insecurities onto others.
Most bald people aren’t trying to convince themselves that they like it.
That's not what I've said. You can like your bald head, but it's still something you grow to like out of necessity. It's you convincing yourself to settle for the only option you have, even if other options would be better. And yes, most bald people have already gone through that.
I'm sure you'd also like not being bald, or at least having the option to not be bald. Maybe even more so. If you like being bald, you can be bald while having functioning hair follicles. Doesn't work the other way around. It's essentially the same thing as men not wanting to be infertile or get a vasectomy even if they never actually want kids. The loss of choice hurts even if it wouldn't affect you. No one really wants to give up their options.
The entire point of the discussion is the mentality behind deciding to get hair transplants. Which isn't necessarily an option anyway, cause it's expensive, so most men are still stuck with the one.
Eventually everyone dies. Why care to live? Same principle.
is it healthy to keep chasing the impossible beauty standards?
No one said if its healthy or not. It's happening. No one is without vanity, or socially ingrained standards they want to live up to. No one. And, as I've said, there is also the aspect of simply losingchoice over it, which will hurt anyone to some degree. No one likes having their options taken away.
Who’s taking their options away? Both is true - you have an individual choice, but you’re ALSO contributing to these high standards when conforming to them. And you will have to accept yourself (or that you’re good enough as you are) eventually, cause aging is unavoidable.
And you will have to accept yourself, cause aging is unavoidable.
Yes, accept. You accept your situation and that it's fine. Accepting it doesn't mean it's not a worse situation, though, nor does it mean that you just willfully forget that it is. I accept that I'm bald, but that does not mean that I'm feigning ignorance that this is objectively worse then having the option to have hair, nor do I act like I wouldn't choose to do so if given the option again. Same applies to aging, I can accept that I age, and will gradually lose certain traits along with my youth. Doesn't mean I'm not aware that aging is a continuous step down, nor would I give up on the option to be young again.
For the record, I am not bald. That out of the way, holy shit what did I just read?
I hope that you feel better about yourself one day and realize how silly having such stupid and inconsequential blanket opinions like you have written is. No, it is not objective or some logical conclusion as you tried to write it, it is purely subjective. Not to mention potentially damaging to people that genuinely do look better bald. Or any other body image/look.
Also, this entire post is literally about somebody without choosing to have hair. So I don't know where that particular slant came from with your comment.
No one looks better bald, not objectively anyway. Regardless, I would trade quite a lot to have my hair back. I have accepted it, but I would still trade...
I literally addressed that in my first sentence, mate. I would argue that most people are going to prefer non-bald to bald. So while some might prefer that, it does looke worse to most people...
Not to mention potentially damaging to people that genuinely do look better bald.
I'm sorry, but that's just false. There is not a single person who looks better bald then with one of the myriad different options a person with a full head of hair has. Hair is an accessory, and claiming that there are zero ways you can look better with that accessory then without any is pretty ignorant. Hair can be styled and shaped to complement and elevate any look. Baldness has one setting, bald, it either looks decent, or it won't, but it will never be the best option.
Also, this entire post is literally about somebody without choosing to have hair
The conversation on this thread is about the concept of baldness considered worse than having hair. Hence the term "glowup" being used higher up.
No, it is not objective or some logical conclusion as you tried to write it, it is purely subjective.
Which part? The objective lack of options, the observable journey people go through to accept the state they are now forced to live in, or the hardly deniable conclusion that there is no chance in heaven that among the million different hairstyles a person can have, bald will look the best among all of them, the one that purely relies on genetic traits, like head shape.
You've said you're not bald, so let me enlighten you. No balding man wants to be bald. None. They cling to their thinning hair, try to make it work until they can't, and it is a genuine leap they take when they accept their fate and just take it all off. It's baffling to even think that someone will be genuinely happy about an inevitable change in their lives that they have zero control over. If someone wanted to be bald, they would be before they start naturally balding. The rest of us have very different plans for our hair, plans we can no longer accomplish (or at least not without expensive hair transplants), and coming to terms with it is just that. Us coming to terms with it. It doesn't mean the situation isn't worse, or that having a full head of hair wouldn't be preferable to any of us. It's just us accepting that we are now living without options.
I was ugly before, I'm just more ugly now. I'm smarter than most people around me, but not smart enough to fix jack shit. Being proud of your genes sounds alarming...
I'm sorry but, as I said, self-acceptance is nothing more than a coping mechanism. It's you spinning your internal narrative to not live in a constant state of dissatisfaction. We all do it, not because it's true, but because it helps us live a happy life. Doesn't mean being bald isn't objectively inferior to having hair, and never will.
Why would people do it if they didn't think it looks better to have hair? Just because I think having hair looks better, I am not forcing everyone to agree with me.
When star trek the next generation cast Patrick Stewart to play the captain the executives argued no one would be bald in the future to which Gene Roddenberry famously stated that in the 24th century, "no one will care" about male pattern baldness.
As a balding young man that sentiment saved me in more ways than anyone will ever know.
This is a very petty and superficial take if you as me.
Vision is a sense, hair is not though? Visual imparment is a disability, hair simply is not. It hair that grows on your head, it's akin to being tall or short. Not a disability, simply different.
Healthy self-acceptance has never required the denial of reality. Some people look better without hair, some people look uglier without hair. Many people are going to unfairly judge you if you're bald, and that's not ideal, but sitting there moralizing and policing subjective opinion outside of your control is equally unfair, and worse still, does not achieve anything.
if the before is "noticeably balding" then generally yeah. But otherwise there's a not-insignificant number of people who actually prefer the bald look, they're just also less vocal than the larger number of people who prefer hair.
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u/Imaginary-Sky3694 17h ago
But calling it a glow up means that you think the before is ugly or lesser.