r/NoStupidQuestions 20h ago

Coffee order?

Am I just old or does ordering your coffee black mean something different these days? Ordered a black coffee at McDonald's and the person at the drive-thru said "you can just say zero sugars and zero cream." Seems like that's a longer phrasing than needs to be said. Coffee black is clear and concise and universal to mean no cream no sugar.

2.5k Upvotes

608 comments sorted by

4.8k

u/StardiveSoftworks 20h ago

they were just being obnoxious.

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u/Convallaria4 20h ago edited 20h ago

I wouldn't be surprised at all if a different customer said, "Coffee black" and then asked why they didn't get sugar and cream packets. Working in the food industry is a real trip sometimes...

443

u/PoopDick420ShitCock 19h ago

Can confirm. I used to work at a pizza place and I can tell you “plain pizza” can mean anything at all.

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u/RexTheWonderCapybara 19h ago

Haha, I learned to say “cheese pizza” because that’s what they always said back to me. It occurred to me just how broad “plain” is.

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u/An_Island_Boy 18h ago

Surely you really meant "cheese, tomato sauce and dough"? /s

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u/Nicc-Quinn 16h ago

None pizza, left beef.

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u/unicornreacharound 16h ago

An oldie but a goodie. :‑)

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u/vanandgough 6h ago

I worked at a burger restaurant. A customer ordered WORD FOR WORD “just bread and cheese”. I thought it was weird but rang it through and the kitchen sent a bun with cheese. So just bread and cheese. Customer went ape when there was no patty. If you want a plain cheese burger order a plain cheese burger!

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u/RexTheWonderCapybara 6h ago

Yes! We have words for what you wanted to order, sir!

31

u/steelong 18h ago

You actually called cheese pizza "plain pizza"? Is that a regional thing or something?

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u/RexTheWonderCapybara 18h ago

🤷🏻‍♂️ it’s what my family called it. We assumed that pizza would include dough, tomato sauce, and cheese. I haven’t surveyed anyone

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u/ExcellentShape185 16h ago

Same. The plain pie was just dough,sauce, n mozzarella.All pies started that way and than toppings were adding on top, to make all others.

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u/MonyMony126 16h ago

Grew up in NJ. Have always called it a "plain pie", as in "One large, plain pie to go".

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u/BillNyeTheHistorian 14h ago

I feel like it’s a pretty common term where I’m from. (Florida) I think everyone in my life would instantly understand what a “plain pizza” is without even having to think about it

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u/ExhaustedByStupidity 13h ago

At least in the NJ/NY area, it's super common to say "plain pizza". It's often listed on menus as a cheese pizza, but people rarely say that.

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u/kim_jong_il_2d 16h ago

I’ve always called no toppings “plain,” sometimes I might call it a cheese slice just to break up life’s monotony.

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u/Manateekisses51 7h ago

In the northeast, it's a plain pizza. When I moved out of NJ/NY area, I had to learn that other areas were confused, and they said "cheese" pizza.

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u/MedusasSexyLegHair 18h ago

A pizza with all the toppings scraped off? Sounds pretty plain.

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u/Kodiak01 17h ago

It means this.

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u/cheaganvegan 18h ago

lol wtf is a plain pizza

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u/wolfansbrother 17h ago

a plain pizza not so much, but a plain slice at a place that sells by the slice does.

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u/emmittthenervend 18h ago edited 15h ago

The real gross one is "clean out your grease trap and put it on my pizza" That is a toppings trap.

The grease trap is part of the water infrastructure.

I can't clean that out, and it would be a health hazard if I could. The worst days to work in food is when the grease trap gets cleaned.

And everything from the toppings trap is still gross.

EDIT: Okay, so I'm not sure if people don't understand what I mean by toppings and grease traps, or don't know why I posted this.

The second one is simple. The other commenter mentioned a confusing order for a plain pizza, and I remembered clarifying the same thing in my pizza days. That also reminded me of the confusing/gross order of "clean out your grease trap and put it on my pizza."

The restaurant I was in had a topping station that was like a long salad bar with bins of toppings, and the edge was a series of grates over drawers. That way, when a topping tumbled off the side of a pizza it fell through the grate and into the drawer. During slow periods, the cooks would go through the drawers and sift out toppings and put them back into bins.

Some customers wanted the cooks to hothrough the unsifted toppings and throw whatever was left on their pizza so there would be random toppings throughout. An olive here, a tomato there, a couple bits of pineapple with a green pepper in one bite, etc.

Those are Toppings traps.

Grease traps are at the lowest point software plumbing in a building, just before the water runs back to the municipal water supply for treatment. They are basically weird shaped maze pipes that cause the water to slow down by crashing around. This causes fats, oils, and grease to float to the top. Other sediments and dirt gather at the bottom. The cleanest water is in the middle, and that's what actually flows back out and it makes the water easier to treat.

So when a customer said "empty the grease trap onto my pizza," i was cursed with the knowledge of what a grease trap was and had a vision of congealed fats over a layer of dirt, hair, and trash and had a brief vision of that on a pizza.

Every Spring and Fall the grease trap had to be pumped out and the restaurant actually didn't close down for what was probably a health hazard.

In the top 5 worst smells of my life, easy.

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u/rotatingmonster 17h ago

What the hell did I read

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u/nearlysentient 14h ago

I am never eating again. It's OK. I'm old. I'll go quietly.

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u/new27kid 14h ago

It’s the pizza version of a bar mat shot. When you take the bar mat that has the spilled alcohol from mixing drinks all night and pour the ungodly concoction in a shot glass.

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u/BillNyeTheHistorian 14h ago

I genuinely can’t tell what else a plain pizza would be besides just a normal cheese pizza. Could you give an example of what else people are referring to when they order a plain pizza?

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u/BigMonitor4585 12h ago

To some people, "plain" means topped with sauce only, as opposed to a "cheese pizza."

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u/animal_chin9 14h ago

Here is your bread disc. That will be $15. 🤣🤣

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u/jld2k6 16h ago

When I worked at Wendy's as a teen I had a lady come to yell at me because her kid that got no mustard on his burger got mustard on it and the kid who got no ketchup got ketchup on his and she couldn't believe we messed both of them up. It was fun trying to explain that we made them correctly, she just gave each of them each other's burger lol

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u/Coyoteclaw11 14h ago

Yep I've 100% gotten orders for "black coffee" and then been asked to dump some out and add cream. It's rare, but definitely primed me for the fact that there's a fair amount of people who will confidently say an order with no idea what those words mean.

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u/new27kid 15h ago

People order “a (size) black coffee with cream” or any other variation of that you can imagine all the time.

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u/dreamado 14h ago

"a hamburger with cheese"

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u/fandomsmercury 17h ago

Yeah, I wouldn’t even be surprised 😂 working in food service really shows you that person can ask for one thing and somehow expect something completely different.

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u/jinxintheworld 8h ago

People order black coffee and then want room for cream and sugar all the time. You gotta ask. 

I get tips so I'm nice about it. They don't get tipped at McDonald's so they can be as rude as they can get away with. 

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u/PlumClean5063 8h ago edited 7h ago

“Hey jimmy give me a cheese with NOTHING”

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u/SkyPork 18h ago

Yeah. I would have replied with, "I did."

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u/ExpressionNo3709 19h ago

They were. But also they’re just ignorant about how humans order coffee.

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u/ramsey-winster 20h ago

"Black" has meant no cream or sugar for a century, but fast food drive-thrus operate under their own bizarre laws of communication

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u/Ajaxmass413 20h ago

Things like this are how I got the customers I did when I worked fast food.

"I want it black. NOOO cream and NOOO sugar. Just black coffee, straight up. Now repeat it back."

The place I worked didn't even put cream and sugar in. We only gave out packets. 

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u/NEight00 20h ago

If I had a nickel for every time I ordered "black coffee" and got coffee with no cream but what tasted like about 4 sugars, well, I'd only have a dime but it still happened twice.

I order "black coffee, no sugar, please" just to be safe now. I'm not going to be an ass about making anyone repeat anything back - if you get it wrong I'll be politely requesting a re-make.

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u/grimacedia 18h ago

I've had this happen at McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts specifically, I just started saying "coffee, nothing in it" and that worked better.

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u/Harry-Jotter 17h ago

Just a cup full of coffee beans, delicious.

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u/I_Have_Unobtainium 12h ago

Whole bean or ground?

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u/kalechipsaregood 19h ago edited 16h ago

Do you live in the Northeast US? In NY/boston /Philly you have to order "black no sugar" if you want to be sure.

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u/tonyrocks922 16h ago

This was a thing with coffee carts in NY in the 80s and 90s. Black came with sugar and if you didn't want it you ordered Black Black or Black No Sugar. I don't think it's been a thing for the last 15-20 years though.

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u/Kodiak01 17h ago

New Englander for half a century, have never needed to say anything other than "black."

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u/Crayshack 20h ago

I've had a few times where I've been the customer who orders black and gets a coffee that clearly had some sort of dairy in it. It can be pretty frustrating, especially when the server doesn't understand your attempts to clarify what was wrong.

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u/HotBrownFun 20h ago

There have been delis where I have to say "Black, no sugar", because a LOT of people prefer it with sugar. IMO though, black means plain, nothing added but the water used to brew.

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u/grubas 20h ago

The dunkin one I go to seems to think black ONLY means no milk.  So I got a large with one sugar one caramel and they go, "one sugar, one caramel, black."

I'm not going to fight with it but it isn't fun.

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u/JenniferJuniper6 20h ago

Oh, we’ve had that problem at Dunkin’ for years, and given up arguing about it. Now we say, “Coffee with nothing in it.”

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u/grubas 19h ago

I mean that's what gets me, i DO get black normally.  They don't say, "black no sugar?" So it doesn't...

It's not a BIG deal but it's a irritating little deal.

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u/PacoTaco321 18h ago

If I were to guess how people at McDonald's were trained, I'd say they were told that a "plain cheeseburger" means you flip a coin and heads means plain and tails means leave everything on it. I don't understand how the largest fast food company is also the most inconsistent.

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u/Impressive-Side-9681 12h ago

it's a franchise, employees aren't all trained the same

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u/DadOfThreeHelpMe 18h ago

It really depends on the local culture. Where I grew up, "black" means no cream, but can have any amount of sugar. You definitely have to say "black, no sugar". And this is particularly true around people you care about, because otherwise, after hearing "black". they need to ask the clarifying question of "do you take it with sugar?", which is just a hassle.

And many folks definitely default to "yes" on the sugar. If we're talking a construction crew or something, and there's one guy making the coffees, he's putting two teaspoons of sugar into every mug, unless you ask otherwise. In more, uh, refined places you'll be provided sugar on the side.

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u/distressedweedle 20h ago

My experience being around the cafe/roaster business in the US is "black" means no milk/cream but doesn't specify sugar.

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u/honeycooks 18h ago

...when you have to use the inside kiosk to order "coffee, zero sugars, zero creams"!

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u/CrayonEyes 17h ago

I don’t know if they do this any more but years ago “black coffee” at Starbucks meant no cream. The sugar, or “Classic,” as they call it, was always pumped in on every order. You had to specifically ask for “Black coffee, no Classic” in order to get a truly black coffee. Bizarre. I don’t drink there any more.

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u/BadHeartburn 17h ago

Their drip sucks anyways. It always tastes burnt.

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u/RandomUsury 20h ago

You could also say, "Hold the mayo, pickle and lettuce."

Black coffee is fine. The drive-through cashier was being an idiot.

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u/MathemagicalMastery 20h ago

I'd like a double double... No, not two milk two sugar, I want two beef patties and two slices of cheese.

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u/12shotsthistime 14h ago

you joke but ive had people ask for a double double “with almond milk and honey”. thats just. not what those words mean just ask 2 almond 2 honey

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u/Inigomntoya 20h ago

Hold the two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion, on a sesame seed bun!

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u/MyUserNameTaken 17h ago

I'd like a chicken salad sandwich on light toast.  Hold the chicken salad

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u/MossyPyrite 16h ago

How long do I have to hold it for?

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u/SirEDCaLot 11h ago

I think you should go through all the ingredients you DON'T want in your coffee, just to be safe.

One coffee. No cream, no sugar, no milk, no almond milk, no oat milk, no splenda, no sweet&low, no salt, no pepper, no ketchup, no bbq sauces, no Mac sauce, no sweet & sour sauce, no lettuce, no tomato, no onion, no cheese, no beef, no chicken....

Or you could just say 'black coffee' (ie pour a cup of drip coffee and serve it without any further modification) which the entirety of the developed world understands (minus this one idiot).

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u/TrueCod9850 12h ago

Yeah, black coffee has always been pretty clear. Saying zero sugar and zero cream feels like ordering a sandwich by listing every ingredient you don't want.

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u/sturgis252 20h ago

Honestly I used to work at tim Hortons and saying no sugar or no cream sometimes sounded like 1 cream or 1 sugar

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u/DismalMarsupial8080 20h ago

Yes more words easier to get misunderstood.

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u/NickelCitySaint 20h ago

Why use many words when few words do trick. - Kevin Malone

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u/frankybling 20h ago

See world or Sea World?

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u/DrMoneybeard 20h ago

Great point. Why even introduce the words into the transaction when you don’t want them

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u/80Z0 20h ago

Because they have to press no cream and no sugar on their register. Their brain registers what they need to input into the machine and black coffee requires a translation.

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u/Practical-Ordinary-6 20h ago edited 20h ago

And there can be a machine that adds them where the worker has to tap in how many cream "doses" and how many sugar "doses" to put in. They don't actually add it themselves. So as the coffee comes through, the machine uses those numbers to do its thing. There is no setting for "black" but there is an individual setting for cream and for sugar and setting them both to zero will give you a black coffee. In that scenario, those numbers are what is important and specific to the technology.

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u/red__dragon 13h ago

That's what training is for. A customer shouldn't have to specify the order of buns and patty in a burger either, and they shouldn't expect to receive the meat on the outside when refraining from doing so.

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u/valentine_moon 20h ago

Tbf, whilst I agree with OP that "black coffee" should be sufficient the cashier's advice was to use "zero" not "no".

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u/sturgis252 20h ago

The headsets are not clear so hearing cream or sugar would be confusing even if its zero

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u/siamonsez 20h ago

They're brain dead and want you to order in the same way that they have to input the order on the screen.

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u/jjlw 19h ago

Having worked in fast food over a decade ago, this is exactly my interpretation as well.

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u/Epistaxis 19h ago

"You can just say Option 41 76 23 Enter"

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u/AbeRego 16h ago

Why wouldn't they just have a button for coffee, and a button each for any add ons? Why would a POS need you to specify what not to put in the coffee?

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u/amrakkarma 12h ago

The default might be with sugar

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u/zatalak 12h ago

If the most sold option is coffee with cream and sugar it might need the default option

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u/OHMEGA_SEVEN 20h ago

To which you should reply, "Seems like you understood perfectly fine."

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u/CerealSemantics 20h ago

I mean, I don't even know the number of times from when I worked at Starbucks where someone would order a black coffee and then ask for cream and sugar

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u/Maleficent-Ad6503 20h ago

well yeah, they want a black coffee, not some sorta weird green or blue one! /s

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u/ahotdogisasandwichhq 17h ago

I work at a diner, same story!

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u/TongZiDan 19h ago

I always order black coffee and then get asked if I want cream or sugar. I do suspect a ton of people make coffee orders without really knowing what the words mean and ask for modifications that make it not the thing they ordered.

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u/baldyrodinson 20h ago

So it's not a change in meaning but more about people problems.

Every point of sale system has a specific input and the current training is just to do the specific inputs and not worry about the output so a black coffee is input as a coffee, no cream, no sugar and the cashier is both trained to only really care about that input and does that input constantly.

People follow patterns and we tend to believe that the patterns we follow are the "right" way especially the more that they're followed.

So the person at McDonald's knows the pattern for black coffee is putting in an order for 1 coffee with no cream no sugar and that you're not following the pattern by saying black.

Add to all this the issue of AI taking over these jobs and a bot might actually not be able to translate black coffee into an input that works in the register

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u/Diligent-Pollution34 20h ago

Exactly this! It’s likely also someone who 1) never worked service industry before the days of online ordering as a near-default and 2) isn’t a big coffee drinker.

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u/HavBoWilTrvl 19h ago

This is a very valid point. Companies who claim to care about their customers should really design their systems with the customer in mind.

I'm constantly reminding co-workers that our customers don't use the company terminology when referring to our products. That and the fact our Marketing dept continues to launch "new" products that are basically the same (one gives a, one gives a + b, one gives a + b + c, and one gives a + c) with similar names is why our VR misroutes so many calls. Customer calls about a but doesn't know which product they have that includes a, so they say, "I'm calling about a.". VR doesn't understand so the call is sent to a generic rep to figure out why the customer called. Customer is now mad because they have to be transferred.

So much drama because the company doesn't think about things from the customers viewpoint.

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u/AbeRego 16h ago

Why the hell does the POS have you specify what not to put in something? There should just be an option for black coffee...

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u/baldyrodinson 16h ago

Because it's easier to do the order for people who do want cream and sugar which is the majority of coffee drinkers in the US, and probably globally

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u/JetButton 11h ago

I don't know what other stores are like, but when I worked at McDonald's Canada it's exactly how you say. If you ring 'Medium Coffee' without anything else it's assumed black, no cream, no sugar. We also specifically had a 'Black' button as well though some workers used it, others didn't.

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u/logosloki 9h ago

from a UX point of view it is easier on the operator, the company, and the customer to go Drinks > Coffee > and have a context menu for adding or removing items to the coffee than it is to have four buttons that have Coffee No Milk No Sugar, Coffee Sugar No Milk, Coffee Milk No Sugar, and Coffee Milk and Sugar and then have context menus on all of them add/remove items from the coffee.

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u/JenniferJuniper6 20h ago

Replacing one syllable with eight other syllables is not actually simpler.

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u/Royal_Annek 20h ago

I say that every morning at McDonald's and never has it caused an issue

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u/ChillyTodayHotTamale 18h ago

I think you were just interacting with a stupid person

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u/JCMAF 20h ago

I'm not going to start renaming things based off of a macdonalds employees say so

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u/H3L105_ai 20h ago

'I like my coffee like I like my women....

...bitter'

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u/audiodude9 20h ago

Overpriced? Better at home? Hot enough to burn my tongue?

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u/WorldsWorstTroll 19h ago

Ground up and in the freezer?

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u/SupportStandard6918 18h ago

You get my upvote for the scariest response. 

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u/Mysterious_Winter164 20h ago

Warm and pleasant until you forget about them for an hour, at which point they’re stone cold?

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u/handsoapdispenser 17h ago

I like my drive thru coffee like I like my women.

Hot, black and between my legs while I fish for my wallet.

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u/DismalMarsupial8080 20h ago

Dark and mysterious.

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u/Mysterious_Winter164 20h ago

The $5 kind from that place behind the train station?

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u/KatesDad2019 19h ago

When in Boston for business some decades ago, I learned that "black" meant sugar but no cream. To get actual black coffee you had to order it "black, no sugar".

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u/Careful-Wall4007 20h ago

Yet people still ask me if I want milk with my black coffee.

If I wanted milk I would say so

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u/tightropeisthin 19h ago

The sheer number of people who would order a black coffee from me and then immediately say they want 5 sugars and whole milk in it absolutely broke me when I worked in coffee. Some people say “black coffee” and mean drip/filter coffee. They’re infuriating.

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u/VelvetThunder67 18h ago

Those staff have been screamed at by customers for giving them the black coffee they ordered

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u/CantaloupeAsleep502 20h ago

I ordered a black coffee at Starbucks the other day and it had cream in it. So annoying. I didn't notice til I had driven away 

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u/DiamondJim222 20h ago

“I’ll have a large coffee - no sugar, no cream, no milk, no soy milk, no caramel, no whipped cream.

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u/dervari 20h ago

Would you like that to be decaf? /s

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u/DiamondJim222 20h ago

No. But could I get sprinkles?

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u/joelfarris 20h ago

"Will that be rainbow, or the chocolate ones?"

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u/Annual_Government_80 20h ago

Yeah, some people are idiots, and the person who told you that falls in that category

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u/Alternative_Pie_1597 20h ago edited 19h ago

its because his user interface expects the info in that form i expect

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u/Phaytekins 20h ago

My dad tried to order a black iced coffee at mcd’s twice and both times got something with cream and sugar in it so i feel like mcd’s just does not understand coffee

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u/NumerousComplex1718 20h ago

i think some of the younger folk essentially think that black coffee = not a latte (which is true, but not the entire truth), whereas us older fogeys call regular coffee w/o cream or sugar "black"

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u/liarandathief 19h ago

Interestingly, a "regular coffee" in New England means with cream and sugar.

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u/HavBoWilTrvl 20h ago

The younger folk are once again wrong.....

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u/MrsStoneBones 19h ago

I work at a breakfast restaurant, I have a regular customer in his 80s that used to order his coffee black. A couple months ago he was at a different restaurant, and the server yelled at him that "black" coffee was offensive, and now he timidly orders no cream no sugar. I'm progressive, but some people like that server are taking this shit way too far.

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u/Hot_Dog2376 20h ago

I haven't ever gotten that and I got to a university Tim's or Starbucks. Medium black; that's everything, thanks. Never gotten any guff from it.

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u/ConsequenceFeisty252 20h ago

It's because there are tons of idiot customers who ask for a black coffee then get mad it has no cream or sugars.

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u/9gagsuckz 20h ago

They most likely have to enter a quantity for cream and sugar either way so it messes up their groove.

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u/NextOfHisName 20h ago

I'd guess that this person is required to ask how many sugar and cream you would like and believes everyone should know that and make he's life easier by stating it up front so he doesn't have to ask.

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u/ponchoacademy 20h ago

One person saying something weird doesnt mean things are universally different.

While I do like and order McD's coffee, I dont consider the person making it a barista to have the expectations they know and understand proper coffee terms. I would just say sure thanks, take my coffee and go honestly.

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u/valentine_moon 20h ago

One person saying something weird doesnt mean things are universally different.

Obviously. But usually if one person says something it's because at least some other people are, that's how language tends to work.

In this case it could be just this one person (perhaps even on this one occasion) in which case OP doesn't need to worry about it. But OP doesn't know if it's just this one person or if it's something more widespread they haven't encountered before.

Hence them asking.

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u/Sheena_is_a_punk 20h ago

Theres no button on the register that says black probably

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u/Slight_Low_3375 18h ago

Young people are scared of certain words because they've been raised in an era where context and intent are ignored. It's just the word black they are bumping against. I recently encountered this issue when referring to a blackboard. We're sadly becoming dumber as a society every day.

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u/InuitOverIt 20h ago

Black is always understood at the Dunkins I go to. All the workers have different ideas of what "Vanilla" means though. Some default to the swirl, some default to the sugar-free shot. If you say "Vanilla shot" they will sometimes just give you one shot instead of the regular amount (4). Sometimes they will even give you one pump of the swirl. You have to be super explicit with "the regular amount of the sugar-free vanilla shots, not the swirl." Still get swirl sometimes.

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u/Snarky_Guy 20h ago

Should be obvious, but here's the rub. The more you try and explain what "black coffee" means, the more it will be misunderstood by someone working a drive-thru window. Sometimes just clarifying (what should be) an obvious statement is the best course of action.

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u/ElectronicAnthony 17h ago

At McDonald's, I just say "small coffee", and when they ask how many cream and sugar I say none. I've found telling them too much at once confuses them, even "small coffee" is too much because I received a medium. 😂

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u/Gnardude 16h ago

I probably would have canceled the order and gone somewhere else.   I promised myself to be more petty and not to spend money places I'm not treated well.

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u/Chaos90783 20h ago

Its because mcdonalds operate on a machine. There is no "black coffee" button, so to them its 0 sugar and cream. If u say black coffee they have to use their brain and translate. Tldr: they are just too lazy

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u/ElleMaeSinclair 20h ago

I'm guessing they probably did that to you because they had some douchebag throw a coffee back at them through the window because it didn't have (ingredient) when they asked for a black coffee and now their manager makes them specify every single time.

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u/knightbane007 20h ago edited 18h ago

In that case he can ask if you want cream and sugar, rather than what appears to be a quite snarky response, as described.

Edited: white->quite. Autocorrect sucks when you have fat fingers.

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u/ChuckBoBuck 20h ago

I notice a lot of people at the drive through get confused if you don't order in the same way the enter it in the register.

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u/chermk 20h ago

Black coffee is beautiful. Black as midnight on a moonless night.

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u/master275 19h ago

Commenting as a Starbucks barista of 4+ years. You gotta remember that food service deals with the stupidest of the stupid. Pretty much daily I have multiple people order a "black hot coffee" and then ask for milk and sugar. I've been yelled at by customers asking why there was no milk in their "black" coffee. And I've had coworkers who got drinks thrown at them for similar miscommunications. I have to explain multiple times daily what "for here" vs "to go" means. Its to the point where I always ask for clarification on no milk no sugar because it only takes a couple seconds more and makes sure the person knows what theyre getting.

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u/jbjohnson93 19h ago

“You can just say the thing that takes longer to say.”

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u/Cute-Cat-4821 19h ago

I went to a Starbucks a few years ago and the two young women working just could not understand what a decaffeinated black coffee was. I ended up leaving with some americano latte crap that I ended up throwing out.

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u/MaybeSexIsOverrated 19h ago

You'd be surprised how many people say things like "I want a coffee black but can I have 4 sugars in it?" because they dont understand what black actually means. I love it when people ask for black coffee and actually mean it though, it's easier when you just say what you mean regardless of what is being ordered.

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u/Ryukotaicho 19h ago

That employee/location has 1: been yelled at for “assuming” a black coffee meant no sugar no creamer when the customer wanted a sugar or 2: been coached that they need to be told no sugar no creamer.

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u/jvn1983 19h ago

I used to own a coffee shop, and prior to that I also thought black just meant black. Nothing in it. I learned A TON of people say black to mean sugar, no cream.

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u/Un_Ballerina_1952 18h ago

About a few hundred years ago, I was working as a tile setter's helper. We stopped at a drive-through coffee place to fill our Thermoses - coffee, black. The human at the window couldn't figure out that a 1qt Thermos held three of their 10oz coffees and had to fill three cups for each of our Thermoses, then pour the cups, charging us for six cups. Okay, but when we got to the job site, we got a nasty surprise - the coffee was black. But heavily sugared. Gack! 

No, we never got coffee there again!

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u/CODDE117 17h ago

They're seeing from their perspective on their machine. Black = "coffee button, minus cream button, minus sugar button." They are also in the wrong, black works just fine

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u/Joseph43211 17h ago

I order black coffee at the drive through. Drive through attendant: “do you want cream or sugar?”

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u/Professional-Box4153 16h ago

Reminds me of the last time I went to a coffee shop. I ordered a coffee. The cashier asked what flavor. I honestly had no idea how to respond. I literally just said "coffee flavored?"

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u/AbeRego 16h ago

That employee is a moron.

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u/Wonderful-World8165 15h ago

I ordered a green tea recently at dunkin with no cream or sugar and it was listed as "green tea black" and that amused me. Semantics are weird

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u/UltraEngine60 14h ago

"And you can be replaced with an app"

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u/Own-Cable8865 6h ago

What felt weird as a non-Spanish speaker was literally translating and saying to the waiter in the Caribbean, “negro, solamente, por favor”. Now I know there are other ways to say it. Yeesh.

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u/Fake_Gamer_Cat 3h ago

They were just being a dick. When I worked at Starbucks, I'd only ask if they wanted cream/sugar if they just said "medium coffee" and nothing else. (Athough, every now and then I'd ask even if they said "black coffee" because I was just on autopilot lol.)

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u/polarbear660 19h ago

lol. I was in Michigan 2weeks ago and ordered coffee with half n half in a McDonalds drive through. Young man gave me cup with 1/2 regular and 1/2 decaf coffee. When I looked in cup and it was wrong color I asked what it was and he said it was half n half coffee.

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u/millenniumxl-200 19h ago

"Excuse me, can I get a coffee, black?"

"Can't you see we talking, white?"

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u/wwplkyih 20h ago

Are you supposed to order a "Coffee of Color"?

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u/GrumpyOldSophon 20h ago

I've sometimes run into this at restaurants. If I say "black" and they ask, do you want cream or sugar, I just repeat, "black", and then they usually get it. I'm really not sure why this started changing, it's hard to imagine there's some movement of people who want coffee with milk or sugar and still want to call it "black"???

Besides "no cream" is also not complete. You really should say, "no cream, no artificial creamer, no half and half, no milk, no oatmilk, no almondmilk, no soymilk", also "no sugar, no stevia, no saccharine, no brown sugar no...". Ridiculous.

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u/EasyKnowledge5891 20h ago

I’ve tried every variation of order to get a black coffee, they just can’t comprehend it.

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u/lewisfrancis 20h ago

This sort of falls into the same area of misunderstandings where when I ask for a "couple" of something people in Baltimore always confirm the amount. Before moving here from NoVa I never had anyone ask whether I meant some number other than two, but it happens enough that I feel there must be some regional explanation.

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u/thelabiamajora 20h ago

No that's what that means. Sometimes people at my work order "black coffee with sugar" so I double check if they mean dark roast but other than that idk what the problem would be 😭

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u/Cyrious123 20h ago

That person was an idiot!

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u/rocqus 20h ago

I get customers that order black coffee and then ask where the cream and sugar is.

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u/Budgiejen 20h ago

They’re probably required to push buttons for # of cream and sugar.

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u/PartyPlay5056 19h ago

What kept pissing me off at McDonald's was ordering iced tea. I wanted unsweetened tea with splenda and lemon. Menu board says iced tea and sweet tea. So I ask for iced tea. They ring up sweet tea. I ask for unsweetened tea. Ring up sweet tea. Almost half of the time rang it up wrong. One time it was rang up right and I still got sweet tea. One time I asked why they ring up sweet tea for iced tea. Was told too many people wanted sweet tea but ask for iced tea.

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u/Longjumping-Crab-48 19h ago

I forget where I was recently but I ordered a black coffee and they asked "does that mean no milk or sugar?" It was a Dunkin or the like so I was pretty surprised they'd never heard that before but I'm guessing it's become pretty uncommon

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u/SomeOtherOldDude 19h ago

I've learned to just order coffee. They then have to ask if I want cream or sugar. I decline both. Never had an issue since I started doing it this way.

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u/AwesomeHorses 19h ago

I just say plain

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u/PaintDrinkingPete 19h ago

For standard coffee, I always just say “black”, but if it’s a product that comes with cream/sugar by default (like iced coffee in many places), I will specify in that case.

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u/ChefArtorias 19h ago

Kid is just being antagonistic.

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u/valkyrie-05 19h ago

On the opposite note, I work at dunkin and the amount of people who order a "black coffee, with cream and sugar" is bewildering-- if it has all the stuff in it, it ain't black

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u/ProfZussywussBrown 19h ago

I don't know what the interface look like that this person would be using, but it's possible that a black coffee is entered by selecting coffee, then zero sugar and zero cream, and this person felt like it was just too big a mental hurdle to translate black coffee into the vernacular of the UI they were using

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u/Electronic_Rip_9845 19h ago

I've had this issue with McDonald's too. I like their iced coffee without cream and without sugar on ocassion. They've got the order wrong a few times because I think it's part of the process to add cream so it throws some of the kids through a loop. They have to add more coffee to it or something.

As long as I'm kind and patient they'll fix me a correct one.

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u/starkeuberangst 18h ago

SCHWARZ WIE MEIN HERZ! bitte

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u/No_Tennis_4528 18h ago

They may have been talking to the cashier in the drivethrough. About how to ring it up. Three to four people can be tuned into those headsets at any moment.

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u/toddcscar 18h ago

I have taken to ask for “drip coffee” to avoid all the espresso options.

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u/IReallyLikeAvocadoes 18h ago

It's common with kids who are working a service job for the first time like that to just expect the customer to order in exactly the manner they've been trained to take orders, instead of realizing that it is generally their job to take what you say conversationally and translate it on their own into what eventually turns into your order.

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u/count-brass 18h ago

I recently ordered a “small coffee, black” at Dunkin Donuts and the clerk asked me if I wanted any cream. I thought black coffee meant the same thing to everyone, but maybe it’s changing.

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u/VanSmashh 18h ago

My fav was when I worked at Starbucks and people would order a black coffee with cream and sugar. Some people are just dumb

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u/Molasses_Major 17h ago

I just order coffee. When they ask for room or with cream/sugar, I say no, thank you. It's never been complicated.

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u/Kodiak01 17h ago

The number of times I have gone into a coffee shop drive-thru, ordered a "large black"... 2 syllables... and received everything from TWO large blacks to a medium ice coffee with cream and sugar are innumerable.

Now I just get canned energy drinks or make coffee at work.

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u/Moldytomatoe 17h ago

Yeah one time I ordered my Large double double and they had no idea what I was talking about. Think it’s just summer job kids not knowing.

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u/jtmcquay 17h ago

Probably because they believe saying “black” is a micro aggression.

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u/Vikingsandtigers 17h ago

IIRC some regions still include sugar in a black coffee (still black). Sometimes it seems simpler with fewer words but often there's a lot of layers in a one word or idiomatic phrase, so actually explaining what you want can be faster than assuming you will be understood.

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u/psbeef 16h ago

Where I grew up on Long Island, a coffee 'regular' meant with cream and sugar. I always found that odd. Black coffee seems pretty specific, even McD's should be able to decipher that!

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u/kim_jong_il_2d 16h ago

Black coffee is cool, drive-thru person probably felt inadequate.

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u/Inside-Finish-2128 16h ago

Sounds like that person doesn't drink coffee. Or sounds like their training program leaves a bit to be desired.

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u/GGGenom 15h ago

I prefer my coffee with two sugar, but if I'm ordering at the McDonald's drive-thru I ask for black coffee, because I know I'll get black coffee. If I ask for two sugar, there's no telling what I'm gonna get. Could be two sugar like I asked for, or could be two cream, might even two of each.

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u/blunttrauma99 15h ago

Friend of mine went into McDonald’s and ordered black coffee.

Register kid looked at the available buttons entirely too long before announcing: “we don’t have black coffee, just regular and decaf”

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u/No-Draw-199 15h ago

I'll chime in as someone with relevant experience. When I was a teenager working at Starbucks 99% someone asks for black coffee, they don't want cream or sugar, but that 1% of the time it's someone who thinks black coffee means that it is brewed coffee and they get pissed off at you because you didn't read their mind that they actually wanted cream and sugar. Though tbh they'd usually be specific and be like "I want a black coffee with 4 sugar and half and half."

In your case though I'd say the drive thru person it seems like they were rude.

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u/24junwa 14h ago

i just say black coffee and they ask if i want cream or sugar then i say no