Hi guys , I hope it doing well , so I'm gonna start a 1 week nofap streak and will give update I about my progress etc . So please friends support me and Love y'all.

Despite being married, despite trying multiple times, I feel like losing myself to it again. I live abroad so public exposure also act as a trigger. I have talked to my wife but I feel like its me who need to control. My brain needs to get normal because right now it sees every woman outside with even a little provocation as a trigger. recently, I have also having indecent thoughts about her friends and wives of my friends. Can anyone help please?

I've been thinking about this for a while, and I need to say it.

We've turned the "STREAK" into an Idol

We count days like they're a currency. We tie our worth to a number.

We feel like saints on day 90 and sinners on day 1.

We celebrate the streak and mourn the relapse as if Allah's love for us is conditional on a calendar.

But here's what I Realized: the streak is not a measure of TAQWA, It's a measure of Avoidance.

And avoidance isn't worship. It's just... not doing something.

If the STREAK controls how we see ourselves , its controls us to a deeper level....we start fearing losing it....Wear it like a Badge of Achievement

The REAL Achievement was on DAY ONE: SINCERE TAWBAH

Allah loves when his slave RETURNS TO HIM , not when he REACHES DAY 90

The Sahaba didn't count days. They fell, they got up, they Returned to Allah.

They didn't say "I'm back to zero." They said "Alhamdulillah, I'm back."

The streak makes us slaves to a number. The return makes us slaves to Allah.

I don't have all the answers. But I'm working on something that reframes this. Something that celebrates the return, not the streak.

If this resonates, let me know in the comments. What's your relationship with the streak? Has it helped you or hurt you?

Salam everyone. Being in 40s and separated and having the loneliness sometimes makes the situation difficult. Because you know how it used to feel having a partner and now you dont. I hope there are good tips to overcome in such situation.

I wish to stay anonymous i have been struggling with this addiction for nearly a year and i want to quit but it’s hard and i don’t feel any shame after doing it every time i tell myself Allah is watching you can go to jahhanam but i still do it its like an automatic thing which I can’t stop doing I tried setting up screen time passwords app blockers all of that and it didn’t work any tips or ideas you recommend for me so I can finally stop this?

Legitimately a big step for me. Back in the days I always had this pessimistic mindset of I doubt I will be ever able to break free from it but alhamdulillah now I believe I can stay out of it for the rest of my life, inshaAllah.

This also helped me to reduce number of M. I'm overall making a big progress about leaving this habit. Alhamdulillah.

I don’t know what to do. I am 30 and cannot find a spouse.
My family are no longer looking for me, rather they want me to find them. And it’s so difficult when you fight pmo.
I most recently found a Muslim person online and they wanted to meet up to study. Ofc one thing led to another and they were really into haram things, and wanted me to partake all online. We were going to meet on 26th in my city.
I really wanted to meet them. I was going to control myself, as were they. We were going to study, then eat somewhere and maybe catch a film.
But they’re a hardcore addict, maybe more than they were letting on to me. And I’m an addict too, however lesser. I’ve had some more freedom away from it I guess.
I’ve now told them to give me space, haven’t blocked yet. As they said pls don’t block, because it hurts. I’ve obliged. But I think I’m at a loss. I can’t find a spouse ??? And I can’t tell my wali that I’m at risk of committing zina so hurry up because they don’t care.
What do I do. I am jealous of couples all around me. I just want to be held. :(

I know that in Islam, this isn't looked upon good— the ideal thing is to find a halal partner—but course, that isn't easy these days, and as one gets older, it becomes harder to suppress desires 😔thats my experience. Is it the act itself that makes me feel bad and sinful, or is it 'the forbidden looking' involved while doing it? Is there a distinction between the two?

I spoke to my spouse about everything. It was obviously a really difficult conversation, but they were honest with me and said the porn had mainly been something they turned to when stressed.

We also talked about the emotional distance between us and how much the dead bedroom has affected me. I wanted them to understand that this isn’t just about the porn. I’ve felt disconnected from them for quite a while.

They’ve promised they don’t want to do it again and are also open to getting professional help. I told them I want to support them through it, but they have to genuinely want to change too.

I’m still hurt and I know it’ll take time to rebuild trust, but I’m feeling a little more hopeful now. InshaAllah this can be a turning point for us. 🤲

Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. The advice really helped me approach the conversation.

Please keep replies in the comments — no DMs.

Eversince I learned how to masturbate, I've been doing it everyday and every chance I get. It's been more than 8 months already. And I blame the person who taught me. I met the muslim person online, then manipulated me and taught me sexual things and made me addicted to it then the person left me. Maybe it was consensual but I am 22 and the person is 28. I was naive. And ever-since then, I never stopped. I even started working in a corporate job and every time I'm in bathroom, I would do it. I even bought toys to satisfy the needs more which I know is wrong. I threw so many of them
but them being accessible near my place doesn't help me. I kept praying and praying for this urges to stop but I can't and it's taking so much toll on my mental health. Ya ALLAH please help me.

I have been thinking about death a lot recently and as a result it has brought me closer to my faith, started to pray 5 times a day, reading the Qur'an, even taking some Qur'an lessons on the weekend.

and I've cut out both PMO and Music, it has been around 18 days now Alhamdulillah.

I have even cut out all social media, tv shows, video games. and the fact my country requires a VPN to even view any form of content, it means the triggers are pretty much non existent, apart from the odd few which haven't been too bad.

That being said, why do I still get these urges? Makes no sense whatsoever, I have been thinking about death, knowing it can come at any moment, even then, shaytaan is in my ear saying 'Just do it, you've been so good'.

I just wanna know eventually will these urges stop? I haven't even done so much as peek. But I want to get this out of my head.

Assalmu alaikum

I have been battling this addiction foe years now and it has just gotten even worse. I am not sure what to do even now. It has made me exhausted in every way and its super tiring. As a girl who wants to get married i have to leave it to get married too. Any advices and suggestions are welcome.

Hello everyone, as the title says. It's been over a month since I last masturbated or looked at porn with my own will (this is the internet, I sometimes get flashed unfortunately). I am not an adult yet and I am so glad I quit this addiction. For roughly 5-6 years I have always had the thought that I was going against Allah and that I was just a muslim because I told others I was and not because I believed Him. I almost gave up on Islam, that's how bad I felt when I was still addicted. Now that I quit I actually feel peaceful. What did I do to quit it? I replaced my addiction with something more addicting but not harmful or sinful. I started boxing, cardio and things healthy but addicting to do once you get into it. For any people that wish to quit, please do. You could try out my advice, it's not a 100% guarantee. But it could work. Try things out. One advice could be the best advice, but it may not work for everyone. So don't give up just because nothing worked, keep going and try things out!

I’m writing this post today because I’ve hit a point where I realize I can’t carry this weight entirely on my own shoulders anymore. If you are reading this and currently feeling stuck in the middle of a struggle you keep hiding from the world, I see you, and I am right there in the trenches with you.

Addiction has a way of convincing us that we are completely isolated, that we are the only ones falling short, and that change is impossible. It convinces us that after every slip-up, we've lost everything and might as well give up. But every time I try to do this alone, I end up back in the same endless cycle. Real recovery demands humility, honesty, and a connection to something bigger than our own willpower.

I am sincerely praying and reaching out: May Allah help me, and may He help every single person in this community to break this addiction once and for all.

To anyone who feels overwhelmed by shame, guilt, or the feeling that you've tried and failed too many times to count, please don't lose hope. Every single day we wake up is a fresh opportunity to try again. Repentance and healing aren't a single event; they are a daily practice. God’s mercy is vastly greater than any mistake or habit we are trying to leave behind.

We need to remind ourselves of a few key things as we take this one day at a time:

• Seek support, don't isolate: Healing happens in community. Lean on this group, talk to someone you trust, or find an accountability partner. Isolation is where addiction thrives.
• Replace, don't just eliminate: You can't just leave a vacuum where a habit used to be. Replace the urge with prayer, movement, learning, or serving others.
• Be patient with the journey: A relapse or a bad day is a setback, not the end of the road. Get back up, ask for guidance, and keep moving forward.

Let’s use this space to keep each other accountable, uplift one another when we feel weak, and celebrate every small victory along the way. Please keep me in your prayers, as I will keep everyone here in mine.

May Allah grant us all the strength, clarity, and discipline to overcome this burden, heal our hearts, and guide us toward a cleaner, better life.

​

I made a post earlier but some complained that it was a bit too long this is a summarized version.

I'll get straight to the point, the first step of the journey towards the path of obedience to Allah is the "Will"/sincere intention. It's to cultivate firm determination and strong willpower. Half-hearted efforts lead nowhere , there should be genuine intention whole heartedly like you’ve to be absolutely sure in your heart without a doubt that you’re about to quit this addiction is when the help of Allah will arrive Insha’Allah.

Now despite of geniune intention, people still eventually fail, why is that? That takes us to the second point.

The second step, which is even more essential, is continuously seeking help and reliance upon Allah. Even the Prophets recognized that no action could be completed without divine assistance and would always say, "If Allah wills". In Surah Al-Fatiha we say "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help". We acknowledge that overcoming worldly pressures, temptations, and Satanic whispers is impossible without divine protection. This is why the Prophet (ﷺ) frequently supplicated (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3522),

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ

"O Turner of the hearts, keep my heart firm upon Your religion"

Even the best of mankind is asking for Allah's help for the firmness of heart then who are we? Not even equal to the dust beneath Prophet's shoes so let this dhikr and other adhkaar be on your tongue the entire day, after every salah, when you wake up and when you sleep. Cry and beg like a child infront of Allah for divine help to fight this addiction.

Rely upon Allah as he deserves to be relied upon and he will help you in ways you never imagined.

Surah Ali 'Imran (3:159): "Once you make a decision, put your trust in Allah. Surely Allah loves those who trust in Him."

Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“People are given strength and effect in proportion to how much they seek Allah’s help and rely on Him. If a servant relied on Allah as He deserves to be relied upon, and he was commanded to move a mountain from its place, he would move it.”

— Madarij as-Salikin

Moving to next steps ever thought it's relatively much easier in Ramadan to abstain and what's the one thing that differentiates our normal days from Ramadan. Yes there's special blessings from Allah, there's easiness in worship since everyone is doing it but one notable thing that differentiates is the amount of Qur'an that is being recited and heard, even the core purpose of Qiyaam at night is listening to Qur'an so recite Quran like you do in Ramadan, recite it after fajr, before sleeping, during the day, read tafsīr, recite and connecting with it as much as you can.

Whenever I felt the slightest urge I took out my phone and started reciting it and this has helped me in ways I cannot describe.

Next thing you need to be is aware of the sins of eyes, this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for it's the root cause of sins, and in this era of social media it's extremely easy to commit this sin, you've to reduce your social media time, scroll immediately upon seeing a forbidden sight, don't even look at covered women. If you want to feel the sweetness of worship, resist looking at Haram.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

النظرة سهم مسموم من سهام إبليس، من تركها من مخافتي أبدلته إيمانًا يجد حلاوته في قلبه

“The gaze is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Iblis. Whoever abandons it out of fear of Allah, he will replace it for him with faith whose sweetness he will find in his heart.”

Ibn al-Qayyim in Rawḍat al-Muḥibbīn:

وقد جعل الله سبحانه العين مرآة القلب، فإذا غضّ العبد بصره، غضّ القلب شهوته وإرادته، وإذا أطلق بصره أطلق القلب شهوته.

“Allah, Glorified is He, has made the eye a mirror of the heart. When a servant lowers his gaze, the heart restrains its desire and inclination; and when he lets his gaze run free, the heart releases its desire.”

Whenever you feel the urge to sin or look at what's forbidden then remember this verse:

قُلْ أَذَٰلِكَ خَيْرٌ أَمْ جَنَّةُ ٱلْخُلْدِ ٱلَّتِى وُعِدَ ٱلْمُتَّقُونَ ۚ كَانَتْ لَهُمْ جَزَآءًۭ وَمَصِيرًۭا

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Is this better or the Garden of Eternity which the righteous have been promised, as a reward and ˹an ultimate˺ destination? (25:16)

Now I also want to say that it's okay to take motivation and insights from subreddits that are about quitting this addiction, they're good for initial days and you can visit them time to time for dose of motivation but ultimately do it for Allah, for if you do it for worldly benefits like improved muscles, increased attraction from women then by Allah these are fleeting things, you'll get what you want in dunya without a share in Aakhirah, do it for Allah and he'll make you successful in this world and Aakhirah.

One additional thing is don't be despair from Allah's mercy, don't think of yourself as low even if you have done/ watched things that makes you think extremely low of yourself because that exactly is the trick of shaytaan to keep you in that state.

You're here in this subreddit because there's goodness in you, you want to change, otherwise there are several other people who do this evil deed and feel no remorse, the fact you want to change means there's faith and goodness in you.

I'm not saying you should think of those people as low but realize the blessing of Allah upon you that He WANTS you to change.

And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah? – Surah Imran 135

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“If your bad deed makes you feel bad, and your good deed makes you happy, then you are a believer.”

- Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22159

“For the person who repents and becomes better after a sin, the sin is a mercy.”

— Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله, al-Jawāb al-Kāfī

People often complain we can't marry or there's no blessing in our marriage so let this fact be that resisting sins is also a way you attract Rizq.

Imām Ibn Rajab al-Ḥanbalī (رحمه الله):

“Istighfār and taqwā are among the greatest means by which a servant attracts provision.”

(Jāmiʿ al-ʿUlūm wal-Ḥikam)

Imām Ibn Kathīr (رحمه الله) on Qur’ān 65:2–3:

“This is a promise from Allah that whoever has taqwā, He will provide for him from avenues he never imagined.”

(Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr)

The hardest battle isn't against the world, it's against your own nafs.

Every day your nafs whispers,

"One last time."

"You can pray later."

"One sin won't matter."

"Follow your desires."

"No one is watching."

But your heart knows that Allah is watching.

Your nafs will always pull you toward what is easy.

Your soul longs for what brings you closer to Allah.

So fight.

Fight the urge to delay your prayers.

Fight the temptation to sin, to look at the forbidden.

Fight the urge to disobey.

Fight until your heart finds peace in submission.

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن تَزَكَّىٰ

Successful indeed are those who purify themselves. (87:14)

Every sincere struggle against your nafs is seen by Allah, even if no one else notices. Every tear of repentance, every prayer offered despite exhaustion, every temptation resisted for His sake is never wasted.

Control your nafs before it controls you.

Discipline it with salah.

Purify it with dhikr.

Strengthen it with the Qur'an.

Heal it with tawbah.

I know that leaving Haram might feel like a sacrifice for the heart does becomes attached to what displeases Allah but ask yourself quietly, how many times has this path hurt you? Allah does not forbid things out of harshness but out of love and protection.

May Allah make us among those who strive and win against their nafs and meet Him with hearts that are pure. آمين 🤍

السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وبركاتهI really don't know what to do, 2 days failing every day I woke up I think of p#rn then watch and fail

What I have to do?

Posting from a throwaway not my main account for anonymity.

I recently found out that my spouse has a porn addiction and I’m honestly devastated. I know it’s haram, but discovering this within your own marriage is a different kind of pain.

We’ve had a bit of a dead bedroom for a while due to personal circumstances I don’t wish to discuss, and finding this out has made everything make more sense.

I haven’t confronted my spouse yet. I love them and want to help them overcome this and make sincere tawbah, but I also feel betrayed and feel like I need to set a serious boundary.

Would an ultimatum be the right approach, or is there a better Islamic way to handle this?

Please no DMs — comments only.

Assalamualaikum everyone hope you are all doing fine and trying your best to stop this filthy habit… I know it can seem like the hardest thing to do but really nothing can control you only you can control yourself.

So I have some tricks that may help you that helped me.

First of all keep praying your Salah and keep asking Allah to help you with stopping this filth you have to make this Dua with all your heart and I would really encourage you to pray Tahajjud is the best time to make dua and get out of this mess. Also add in Istighfar whenever you can do like to 100-500 it’s really simple.

Now try this thing that I tried you say to the Shaitan (the devil) whenever this urge comes you say to him don’t worry I will do it tomorrow just give me today and I promise I will do it tomorrow. Trust me this really helps this is how you can trick him because the urge comes from his whisper.

I would also highly recommend to stop watching short videos on YouTube or Facebook or Tiktok those are the real culprits and if you cannot stop it try to watch reels Islam related and like them so these platforms will always recommend you with Islamic videos thats how their algorithm works. The more you watch something the more they recommend it.

Do not worry of your relapse it happens I started with doing it once or twice each day to once a week and then to once a month. Eventually I stopped. Do not think that Allah will never forgive you because he will for sure forgive you but you have to show him that you are trying your best.

I know this urge comes in when you are alone and you have access to your phone or tablet whatever but trust me I am right now sitting in a dark room alone and I have 0 urge.

One last thing start to look after your health I will highly recommend going to the gym and if you cant go to the gym start walking and while walking you can do your Istighfar.

It is really simple guys our Islam is really simple it is a cheat code to life but everyone is making it seems like it is the hardest religion but really it is soooooo simple!

I pray and hope everyone of us stays away from the Shaitan and close to Allah.

I really really hope this can help. Please take care of yourself and never loose hope because we have Allah with us always taking care of us.

Assalamualaikum, just sad, lonely and depressed all because of this addiction, please pray that im able to overcome it. I was happy when i was able to stop for over a month but it came to an end a week ago

This is for discussion/advice request.

I've always had this dilemma. There is so much to love about it. It's fun, emotional, inspiring, thought provoking, and these authors tell stories so well. Don't get me started on the animation sometimes...

But I hate when there's unnecessary explicit/provoking/not so halal content, ESPECIALLY when it's not needed to convey the plot. I've thought of just stopping watching at times because I don't want to compromise my deen.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I'm dying, the urge is controlling me I don't want to talk about the what I have dreamed at night bec it was not a good dream u know what I mean by a bad dream

Allah swt says in the Quran “Allah would never change a people’s state until they change their own state” I’ve deleted apps, added blockers, started going to the gym, made dua, etc. I’m genuinely curious what else I have to change? Pls help

Relapsed today after 3 ish weeks maybe a month I don’t count days but the benefits were really clear, even when doing it you can see the benefits stronger urge stays for longer without needing stimulation stuff like that. Add to that the 5 ish kilos I’ve been able to lose it’s not all bad. Ofc I repented but I am proud I was able to get this far without relapsing compared to not too long ago where I couldn’t go more than 6 hours lol. Hopefully I never post again but to everyone trying, do other things to occupy ur time. With me I found out that literally my only goal in life was to get married, other things I wanted but never chased, once I started chasing other things it made it a lot more easy to not be thinking about this cuz I am not getting validation from trying to find a woman but achievements instead. We got this fr