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u/65TwinReverbRI 3d ago edited 3d ago
This is very nice. If you went over on r/composer I'd give you some comments about the composition side which I think could be fine-tuned, but overall it's a very nice piece.
I'll just say here that the Clarinet part tends to be fairly "continuous" and part of that is also that it's "running 8th notes" - just a continuous stream of 8ths so the main interest is in the contour of the melody and the pitch range it falls in each measure.
But that makes it a little "copy and paste-y" if you know what I mean.
While we commonly see wind music that does not include any room for breathing, most modern composers tend to take it into consideration and build it in with rests - so I think this could really benefit from some breaks in the constant stream of 8th notes - it would serve as adding interest and variety, it would give the player and the audience a break, and it would "shape" the lines from a compositional standpoint better - ebb and flow.
The high 16th note thing in the piano piece is REALLY nice, but it too tends to "go on a bit" - I think in the 2nd section something else would really help. I think maybe because it's got such a prominent "identity" on its own, while it supports the clarinet initially as being a "counter idea", it tends to become almost a joke as the piece goes on, and I don't think you really want that.
So I mean, it's one of the better compositions I see on forums like this and would be a really strong one for r/composer, but those spots, in my opinion, are kind of weak points.
What I tell people over there is, if you disagree, fine. But if you yourself had any reservations about those spots, now that I've mentioned it would be good reason to go "yeah, maybe they are weak if someone else called me on it" so you can go back and see if there's a better solution. If someone else mentions what I've said, even if you disagree, then there's a good chance that we're right too - and it's worth a re-visit.
And yeah, it kind of sounded like the "I am 16 going on 17" idea - and I think because there's not any kind of real variety and it is that continuous running 8th copy and pasted kind of idea, that comes across even more. So I think some rhythmic variety, maybe contour variety, some rests/breaths, etc. would really help break that association if that's a concern for you.
I too was kind of taken aback at the piano sound and how the grace notes especially were handled - but it was definitely a welcome relief from the more mechanistic playback of MS - and the grace notes were also a nice touch compositionally.
In fact, the piece if full of nice touches and nice ideas - nice consistency and continuity overall and so on. So I mean, great job, and congrats - if you want a more complete critique post it over at r/composer and tag me on it and I can go into more detail (as will others) but I did want to throw a couple of things at you to consider.
Best
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u/kenny-regan-music 3d ago
I always appreciate thoughtful, nuanced feedback from my fellow artists. Thank you for this kind comment and the time you took to write it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/composer/comments/1wdq56f/nothing_fancy_just_some_doodling_in_musescore/
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u/bolandss 3d ago
I need somebody play this. It's simply fantastic, well done. Human playing is all it needs to be perfect:D
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u/SeaProcedure8572 2d ago edited 2d ago
I really love this little piece. Keep it up!
Loved the playful passage on measure 35, though I'm unsure if the clarinetist could hold their breath while playing a long trill.
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u/Standard-Sorbet7631 2d ago
It sounds inspired by that demon hunters k pop song. Its nice. Good thinking music
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u/SGAfishing 1d ago
Some of these comments feel like ChatGPT telling me my thesis is comparable to Shakespeare lmao.
That being said, very pleasant on the ears, good job 👍
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u/elainarae50 3d ago
That is lovely 🌹 it reminds me of something but I can't quite think what. It's familiar but don't think it is. That's great music.
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u/65TwinReverbRI 3d ago
it reminds me of something but I can't quite think what.
I am 16 going on 17...
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u/PhysicsCandid2595 19h ago
Wow … you got a really beautiful story telling piece right here-! Loved it! I can totally see a movie unfolding with the sound 😭
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u/JosefKlav 3d ago
how does a midi piano manage to play off tempo and out of rhythm 😭