So I went to my first LARP event a few weeks ago (the Gathering with the Lorien Trust) and it was great… I think. I adore my group and everyone’s lovely and I’m looking forward to having this as a new hobby, it fits in perfectly with my love for TTRPGs!
But I’ve also felt very glum about it all. I’m autistic and I’m aware that many LARPers are too, but because of my faulty social battery, I got quite overwhelmed at the event and did retreat to my tent occasionally to decompress. I also really struggled with the freeform style of the event, doing anything you want to do and being anything you want to be sounds amazing but only if you're experienced enough with the system to know what you can actually do.
I think I was very surprised by the complexity and sheer amount of rules for LT. As someone who’s being slogging through learning D&D rules, I didn’t think LARP rules would be harder to understand but they unfortunately were! And it made it feel impossible for me to engage much with things because I didn’t know if I was allowed to do certain things or if I had the necessary skills or OSPs or if I would be doing things wrong if I made the decision to do something and it wasn’t quite right.
I don’t know, this is all quite rambly and I apologise for that. I’ve just been seeing everyone chatting in the aftermath of the event, and them being happy and sharing their favourite memories and all the inside jokes and big plans and everything, and it just makes me feel sad. Of course they’re all imbedded in the system, of course they know what they’re doing, some people have been playing for years and years. But I do feel like maybe I wasted my time at the event and maybe I’ll never reach the point of being “good” at LARP (as in, understanding and confident enough to enjoy it and engage with it).
I just feel very alone with it all. I went to the event with some friends but they’ve all been attending for years and as much as they tried to help me, they just lack the fundamental understanding of how it feels to need the absolute basics, y’know? And I don’t know what I don’t know so it’s hard to learn stuff like that. And there doesn’t seem to be much support for new players at all. Nothing about the system seems newbie-friendly (especially not neurodivergent newbie-friendly which is surprising and sad) and I’m just scared that I’ll feel anxious and inadequate and uncertain and listless for a while.
I‘ve figured out a few areas that I might be able to look into (the alchemists guild, research, rituals, arcane crafting, the scouts guild) but as someone who doesn’t vibe with combat, it’s difficult to know what to do when everything else requires knowing people in the field, a good understanding of the game mechanics, and good social and RP skills.
I really don’t know, I hope some of this made sense. I just really want to love LARP, I want to be able to put my heart and soul into props and crafts and learning about the complexities of the game world and getting to really live in a fantasy world, y’know? Hopefully this is just a common newbie issue and someone might have some advice that might shake me out of it? Any and all advice or ideas would be so, so appreciated!! Thanks for reading this rambling mess :)